The epic adventure of the Comeback Kid

Race report: Gatorade Tri series race 2 Elwood
500/20/5
Warning: VERY LONG. VERY VERY LONG. I’m not joking. Really, bail out now if you’re not feeling up to a full-on endurathon

Pre-race
You will be unsurprised, yet thrilled, that I worked out my Nutrition Plan - all hail the mighty Nutrition Plan! - and had my stuff all packed/laid out for the morning by 9.30 on Saturday night. This was (let me pop in a quick Parental Advisory Warning here) without even writing a list! Shocking. I’m such a rebel.
There was one crisis – what to wear. Planned garb was a navy and white sleeveless running top, but the Nutrition Plan called for eating on the bike. I have yet to succumb to temptation and get a bento box and I couldn’t think how to attach a sports bar to my top tube. The Spousal Unit said, why don’t you wear that yellow bike top? I said, oooh, it’s not very flattering. So I tried them both on and the Spousal Unit thought they were equally flattering (bless him). Then it occurred to me that racing in the running top was APOLOGETIC. It said, I have flab on my waist so I have to hide. It said, I’m sorry I have double digit body fat, I’ll get out of your way. The yellow it was.
Sunday morning I woke up and rolled out of bed just before the stupid o’clock alarm and was out the door by stupid-45. Getting up early most days has had the unexpected benefit of…er…how can I put this?...training my digestive system to cooperate when required. Very handy indeed, and that’s enough said about that.
I raced at Elwood last year so I had my magic-secret-parking-place all cased out.
Check in, stickers on, find wave start time, transition set up, off down to the beach to watch the mini-sprint swim start. Did you notice forget to note transition rack number? So simple to do, yet so tiresome!
The atmosphere at these things is brilliant. The field for both races reaches 2,500 so transition covers a footy oval and the place is abuzz; the big clubs and some schools have marquees and everyone seems excited and pleased to be there. Down at the beach I ran into M and her boyfriend G. M was upset because she wanted to race as an Athena too but the change wasn’t processed in time. G was trying not to be too excited because he was in the final three for the pro-for-a-day prize – and ended up being chosen! Go G go!
I also went up and introduced myself to the CEO of Supersprint, who was as charming face to face as he was on the phone. As per the Nutrition Plan I sucked down a breakfast drink and kept sipping water. Soon it was time to traipse back to the bag compound and suit up. The water was quite warm, although a bit choppy: I contemplated ditching the wetsuit but decided to stick to the plan cos it was miiiiiiiiiiiiiles back to the bag dropoff and I wanted to stay cruisy.

Swim: apart from a recent precipitous decline in training – the thesis came first, alas! – there were no problems. It was a bit crowded around the buoys and choppy as it got deeper but the ride home on the swell reminded me why I love ocean swimming.

T1: I’d been mentally rehearsing this all through the swim. Rip down the wettie, off with cap and goggles. Where the f*&%is my bike? What’s my f*&%ing row number? Found it! (phew) Out of the wetsuit (thank you cooking spray), food out of helmet (where I put it so I wouldn’t forget it) into pockets, jam on helmet and sunnies. The two-towel-trick (two towel trick …that’s fun to say!) worked well again. My stuff is laid out on the first towel; I put the second one on top of it all, then flick it out and stand on it while I put my socks and shoes on. Whatever grass and sand doesn’t come off from stepping on the towel stays on – and before you cry ‘precious!’, my ankle is still very tender around the scar and a sock protects it a bit. My bike shoes have laces and Velcro – don’t ask, I didn’t know what I was doing when I bought them – so I tied the laces very loosely when I was preparing so I could just jam my feet in and zoom off. I velcroed my gloves onto my handlebars so I could put them on when I got going. I might not bother with them next time though.

Ride: My race plan for all three legs was ‘don’t get comfortable’. I tried to go just a bit faster than felt good; no saving myself, no doubting myself, just go. If I blew up in the run, stiff bikkies. The Nutrition Plan called for half a sports bar and a whole bottle of water on the bike, so that’s what I had. Next time I’ll open the bar beforehand cos it was a bore getting it out on the move. It was a bit disheartening to be passed by so many people, but that’s what you get when you ride like you’re tied to a tree, eh? Actually I was quite pleased with the bike time as for me it was pretty fast. Being passed by the big boys on their carbon-fibre wheels was wild – fwoom fwoom fwoom and they were gone in a blur. My legs hurt a bit in the second loop but I told myself they were supposed to and that once I finished all I had to do was run a 5km, just like I do three mornings a week, rain, hail, shine, heat or hangover.

T2: I have no idea why this took as long as it did, apart from having to find my f*&%ing bike rack arrgghh! Helmet off, hat on, bike shoes off, runners on. Note to self: buy some elastic laces. Run run run. Did you notice forget to take off bike gloves? Thank goodness for those pockets, eh?

Run: Plan A was to try and maintain 9:1 run:walk for as long as possible, walk through the water stations, and eat a mouthful of sports beans at the first water stations (thus spaketh the Nutrition Plan). To my surprise I didn’t have to use Plan B (4:1 run:walk) at all! I kept repeating to myself, just relax, just hold your form, your form will get you home, just the way I’d practiced on my morning runs. It was so gratifying to be able to keep going, never too comfortable, just keep going, all the way home. I was pretty tired in the finishing chute but was startled from my concentration by M (whose wave was 40 minutes before mine), bellowing encouragement. Bugger this, I thought, I’m bloody going for it (a bit of tiredness Tourette’s there, sorry). How fast could I go? Could I catch the woman ahead of me? The answers to that were: a bit faster, and yes I could!
In honour of the lovely Wes – who ran his first marathon this weekend, huge congratulations mate! – I raised my arms in triumph as I ran under the arch. Then a very nice lady took off my chip and J and Lara were waiting for me.

Post race: drink drink drink water water water.
We met up with M and G and toddled over to the awards area so he could get his prize. I told J and M I was tired and didn’t need anyone sneering at me so I’d just go home and they could post me my medal. They threatened to drag me up if I didn’t go when I was called and J is very strong so I gave in. Part of me was proud and thrilled at my PB and how strong I felt and how my ankle didn’t give a single twinge; part of me was frightened in case someone from That Forum was hateful to my face, and a bit angry that I couldn’t enjoy it all properly because I was frightened. I got up when they called my name, but then they started calling the next group (the Clydes I think) to the podium so the helpers just gave me a medal (and a very nice new bike jersey which I wasn’t expecting), promised to send me a medal with Athena on it and that was that. M was cross (she’s a very good friend) but I was kind of relieved.
When all the other competitors had gone I got on the podium with my medal and J took my photo.
After a sleep in the afternoon we went to J’s work Christmas party which was a complete hoot as usual. Monday morning my feet were tired from dancing so much. A good day.

Important things to remember.
Consider going without the wetsuit.
Note bike rack row number!
Don’t bother with bike gloves for a sprint distance
Open energy bar package beforehand
Vaseline prevents chafing ow ow ow ow ow.

The End.

Geez I’m glad this is over. Bring on Christmas – that’s if my supervisor ever reappears and reads my thesis so I can hand it in.

More anon, pontificators!

172, 129, 77, 7

172 - days since ankle reconstruction surgery
129 - days since plaster was removed so I could swim again
77 - days since I got the all clear to run and ride
7 - minute PB today for 500/20/5, yeeeeeee haaaaaaaaa!

Do you like my medal*? Even though there weren't any other Athenas, I think I earned it! BTW that thing Noddie is holding and in which she is so very interested is a sandwich.
More anon, darlings.
*It has "women's 65+" engraved on it cos they weren't expecting me, but they promised to send me another one ROFL

move along, nothing to see here

*picks self up, brushes self off, pretends nothing happened*
My uni supervisor rang me and said I could have another couple of weeks to finalise the Thesis that is Eating My Life and since I have already done my Christmas shopping I am going to take it.
I wish wish wish wish wish, oh how I wish it was OVAH but as a long-time mark-slut (no comment from you please Eat 'em), if I can get a few more points by dragging this out into eternity (Dec 20th) then I will. At least now I'm not so frantic; it just means I'll do the swim next Sunday on practically zero preparation cause I had scheduled my last, ok my only >2.5km swim for next Wednesday and now I'll be holed up in the stats lab instead. Such is life, eh? They can't close the course on me LOL
I tried a 9:1 run:walk interval instead of the usual 4:1 yesterday as a practice for this Sunday's triathlon TIANLFTBADBITRT*. Verdict: doable, especially if I remember to eat on the bike**. My orthotics have arrived back too, right in the nick of time! My life is so dramatic!
I'll probably have to think about cleaning the house too - in the tunnel-vision get-it-done-this-week existence from which I have just emerged, vacuuming and toilet scrubbing have been the least of my worries. Now as I look about me and survey the squalor I realise that this Cannot Continue. I'll just have to move to another house.

more anon, treadmill-escapees!

*That I Am Not Looking Forward To But Am Doing Because It's The Right Thing - and will no doubt end up enjoying hugely.
**Sprint shmint, it will take me close to two hours and I can't do that without fuel.

Conversations

Now I promise I haven't been wallowing in things and feeling all bullied and sorry for myself or any of that namby-pamby la-la B.S. That is Not How We Do Things here at Chez LBTEPA. However, I was rabbiting on to the Spousal Unit the other day that I knew I should do the triathlon this Sunday, even though I hadn't planned to, but I didn't want to because I could just imagine being jeered by nasty types from That Forum and it made me feel sick. The Spousal Unit answered, well, that means you have to do it then.
He often irks me beyond measure, but by crikey times like these prove the Spousal Unit is rock-solid gold (and how clever I was to marry him). It is that simple. I have to do it, and I'm going to, ready or not (and that would be 'not').
I smsd my friend M, who is doing the whole series, that I was coming along on Sunday. She rang back to see what was going on because I hadn't planned to race until next year. I outlined the ...er...background to my decision, and her first words were, right, I'm changing my entry to Athena.
So there will be two of us. M may be as mad as a meataxe* but what a good, true friend she is.

Now all I have to do is finish revising my thesis, get it bound and hand it in. THAT'S ALL?
Oh, and do some washing so I have something to race in on Sunday, run in tomorrow and ride in on Friday.
And plan my transitions
And my nutrition
And pick up my new orthotics
And run in them at least once
And pack my race bag
And work out family logistics (are they coming? Are we all going in the same car? etc etc etc etc)
And decide what to wear to J's work party on Sunday night (always a top do, and worth frocking up for)
And maybe buy some food
And did I mention I have to finish my thesis? AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
*laughs hysterically, slaps self on face, tells self to please GET a GRIP*
Excuse me while I go and have a little lie down....no, no time! Onward!

more anon, noggin spinners!

*M completely smegged her knee snowboarding in August yet is adamant that she WILL complete the whole series even if she has to walk all the runs, and even if she is risking chronic injury. Her boyfriend and I are beside ourselves, but what can you do? We love her.

SUB women's bike ride

That was SO MUCH FUN!

55 km, 2:32. Just the thing for the first day of summer - 700+ happy, friendly women enjoying cameraderie and adventure on a beautiful Saturday morning. Nancy please note matching lippy and nails, I'm keeping up the standard mate! I was thinking of it as a bit of a practice for the Olympic tri I'm vaguely kind of sort of at the back of my mind considering in January, so my nutrition strategy was water every 15 minutes, and starting an hour in, half an energy bar every half hour. It worked really well; I never had that awful, morale-sucking weariness and finished well capable of tackling the rest of the day - I went straight from the ride to a 4th birthday party (arrgghh), then our friends had a sherbet-fuelled barbecue in the evening. Thanks to my good planning I was able to tough it out :P

We are having a lovely quiet morning after yesterday's craziness. Christmas carols are on shuffle on the cd player and J and Noddie are decorating the tree. I'm thrilled to state that Noddie is vigorously spurning the tasteful, less-is-more approach to tree ornamentation.
I must get back to the bastard thesis (I'm hoping to knock it over today, then next week will be a matter of small revisions and formatting), but first must share with you the utter fabulousness of Geekgirl and SB : they are running the Las Vegas marathon dressed as Elvis, helping to set a world record of running Elvi!More anon, grinners!
BTW, I just turned over my calendar and found this.

Most people are very nice

Well what a bloody roller-coaster.
I deleted yesterday's post because I didn't want to subject you to the flood of invective and vitriol which was the major Australian triathlon forum's response to my posting that there was now an Athena category and could they let anyone know who might be interested. There are no rockets falling on my house so I won't say it was a nightmare, but I have never witnessed, let alone been subjected to such a sustained attack. Nasty nasty nasty, and utterly, viciously prejudiced against larger women. I was particularly upset when this tirade spilled over to coolrunnings.
However, this morning I have
- been out on my bike and not got a flat.
- received nine encouraging emails and private messages from both forums (THANKS to you all, you are GREAT)
- spoken to the EOC and withdrawn my complaint as the inequity about which I was concerned has been redressed.
-had a long conversation with the CEO of Supersprint during which all the misunderstandings which had led to this unpleasantness (mostly created by the threatening attitude of the EOC officer, sadly) were cleared up. I was encouraged to compete as an Athena and promised every support.
- contacted Transitions and had my membership removed. Those people are not what triathlon, and sport in general, are about.

Now back to my thesis. If I work hard I might be able to hand the bastard in early and do the sprint tri next Sunday.

2r = f squared

Yes, two rides and two flats. It was a lovely morning though.
This time I had the thing changed and was off in twenty minutes, a PB!
Writing the results section of my thesis has so far taken two days. Then I must write the discussion, the abstract, the table of contents and make sure it's all in APA style.
There's no way out of this but through.
EDIT:

I. AM. GOBSMACKED.

The Equal Opportunity Commission just rang.

SUPERSPRINT HAVE INCLUDED AN ATHENA CATEGORY IN THE GATORADE TRI SERIES!*

More anon, crusaders!
*I am LBTEPA, hear me roar!LOL

Blunk drogging

Oh, happy, happy day!

Normal service will resume shortly (hic!)

Flat

No, not a post about AWOL mojo nor a thesis-induced coma of frustration, but the epic tale of Minerva's first flat tyre!
Oooh gosh LBTEPA, you say, how very hardcore you are, riding about having flats and bravely mending them all by yourself in the middle of nowhere!
Alas, had it but been that simple.....had success not been thwarted by the slings and arrows of circumstance....alas!
Now read on....
Wake up feeling crampy and blah.
Decide to go out anyway
Put sunnies in pocket as still pretty dark
Ride
Watch sun rise, feel all privileged and cool
Take (fortunately el-cheapo) sunnies out of pocket
Drop them on road and watch truck run over them
Consider going home
Ride on
....
Notice back tyre is flat
Think to self, it would be the back tyre, wouldn't it?
Feel pleased I've had practice getting back wheel undone putting Minerva on the trainer
Resolve to never let the Spousal Unit (henceforth known as 'ol Iron Hands) put the back wheel on again
Briefly consider ringing Spousal Unit so he can undo the 'quick release' (hahahaha)
Struggle on
Cut finger
Undo 'quick release'
Remove wheel
Feel pleased at having remembered to put tyre levers in bike bag
Feel pleased at remembering how to use tyre levers
Feel pleased at having remembered to put spare tube in bike bag
Feel pleased at remembering how to get tube back in
Feel extremely pleased at remembering how to get tyre back on
Begin pumping up tyre
Check that valve doover is done up
Check that other valve doover is undone
Pump tyre
cut finger on pump
Check that valve doover is done up
Check that other valve doover is undone
Pump tyre
......
Check time.
Ring Spousal Unit for a lift home
Convince self it must be a faulty valve.
Feel cross at equipment failure preventing heroic journey - and tale - of obstacles overcome. 'Cause by crikey, although I do confess that until it came to the crunch I was a bit dubious about being able to do all the other stuff, I know I can pump up a tyre.
Put back wheel back on easily
Feel very surprised
Clean small proportion of total grease and mud from about my person
Wait by side of road.
Get lift home from Spousal Unit and Noddie
Tell Spousal Unit about eleven times that it wasn't my fault and I didn't just give up
Make Noddie's lunch, get her dressed, eat breakfast, shower, dress, take Noddie to childcare
Take Minerva to petrol station
Fail to inflate tyre using petrol station air thingy
Feel vindicated
Take Minerva to bike shop
Bike shop man has to hit JAMMED valve with a hammer to make it work
Feel vindicated
Buy new red bike sunnies


It's election day on Saturday. I'll be handing out how-to-vote cards in Orbost. You can make a difference to the future of this country. So do it.

More anon, comrades!

Happy birthday Noddie

Happy birthday darling.

What a lovely time we had :)

My brain hurts

The last three days I've been in the lab running analyses on my paltry data set and surpise surprise have found nothing approaching normality in the results so in order to fulfill the assumptions I've had to transform them all which helped with some but not all of them so then I ran my correlations and - hoorah! - found a significant positive correlation supporting my main hypothesis, but also - boo! - found a significant positive correlation between two of the factors of that scale and the dependent variable so I had to run partial correlations which immediately cancelled out the original significant finding (#$%*!).
*LATER: Hang on - I just worked out why that's not a bad thing, DOH! Jeez I'm slow...oh well, still 24 more sleeps to work on it.
It's Noddie's birthday on Sunday - we are making tiaras, don't you wish you were me? Of course you do. Tomorrow will be a slog of cleaning, cake making and icing, and decorating the house with ballons and streamers and Happy Birthday signs (here at chez LBTEPA we Do Not f#$% around on birthdays). Thank goodness I got the really hellish bit (shopping) out of the way this morning.

So I got nuffin what-so-evah for you today.
Good thing Kathryn tagged me the other day, eh?

Four dishes I like to cook:
1. Mrs. Miller’s chocolate cake – 3 eggs, 2 cups sugar, 250g butter…birthday decadence especially with butter icing. Mrs. Miller was a parent at St Bernard’s Bacchus Marsh when my mother taught there in about 200BC. She (Mrs. M) had 7 children so this is a BIG cake. So easy too – email me for the recipe
2. Boiled fruit cake. I can just about recite this recipe. Again, super easy and yummy.
3. Bread and butter pudding (are you seeing a theme here?
4. Cupboard surprise – when I look in the cupboard and am very surprised when there's somthing in there I can cobble together into a tasty repast (see also Fridge Surprise).
I don’t really like cooking which is why, when the Spousal Unit took over the cooking in order to avoid starvation when I was pregnant, I cunningly never took it back. Mwhahaha

Four qualities I love in people:
1. Kindness
2. Listening
3. Enthusiasm!
4. Reliability

Four places I have been:
1. Japan
2. Italy
3. Canada
4. Korea

Four things in my bedroom
1. The Spousal Unit
2. things I like to look at (besides the Spousal Unit)
· Jorg Schmeisser etching of sheep
· print of Monet’s Garden at Giverny
· Framed poem in Korean calligraphy
· Japanese woodblock print
3. Three clocks
4. My race bling, hanging from the corner of the mirror

Four dirty words I like to use:
1. Duty
2. Happy
3. Principles
4. Smeg

I tag Morsey, Jeanne and Lisa.

Smeg! I've just realised the time, I'm going home.
Have a great weekend all!

Mysteries of the universe

Now I'm by no means into all that Secret stuff, but an interesting thing happened to me recently. I have become disturbingly fixated on a BIG cycling goal for 2008. Of course I have been through the I could never do THAT/ how impossible/ terrifying/ exciting/ how can I make this happen? thought process many times over since the initial crazy notion tickled my brain.
Given my current zero-ish bike base I'll need to ride really consistently all winter to build up even an approximation of the necessary endurance, so once I'd broken the news of this latest and greatest-ever insanity* to the Spousal Unit I told him I wanted a bike trainer for my birthday. We started talking to bike people about the right sort to get, prices etc etc; it was all coming together nicely.
A week ago at the physio I was burbling on about my mad plan, mostly to distract myself from swearing at him for trying to force his thumb all the way through my calf. During a particularly evil manoeuver he remarked, we've got a bike trainer we never use, you can have it if you like.
Ooooh, really? said I, immediately more cheery despite the agony.
So yesterday I exchanged a gift-wrapped bottle of very nice champagne, cause I'm classy like that, for my new toy. And I put it together by myself, and it works properly too.
I don't think I attracted it, but what do I know?

Sleeps til Noddie's birthday - 5
Sleeps til the election (my Mum is the secretary of her local ALP branch; I always hand out how-to-vote cards and act as general factotum for her) - 11
Sleeps til SUB women's bike ride* - 18
Sleeps til thesis* due - 27
Sleep til big swim* - 32

Don't expect much sense out of me for the next month is all I'm saying.
More anon, pioneers!

*After all, what IS life without a stretch goal that makes you feel vaguely ill to contemplate? I haven't told you about my 08 running goal either, have I?

Believe

This was going to be all long and profound but I want to have a nanna nap before Noddie insists that she's had a rest and wants to come out of her room now.
So.
This week I got to believe.
Believe that all those weeks of stumbling, half-arsed, half-hearted, half-baked efforts, all the stuff-ups, blow-ups, make-it-ups, I-give-ups, all the plugging away at The Plan despite feeling inadequate and helpless and undisciplined and doomed-to-be-lardy forever
- all that -
will get me where I want to go eventually if I just keep trying to do the right thing.
Yes. They will. I know this because
- the number on the scale on Friday started with a 7. O, how I have looked forward to this day!
- I rode my bike for more than an hour.
- I cranked out 2km in the pool. Then I entered the 4km swim I was wavering over because now I think I can do it.
Unimaginable.
But mine, mine, all mine!
Cos I kept at it. I gave up, threw up my hands, said it was too hard and I didn't care, lots of times - just ask the Spousal Unit. But I always got back to it. Now I have this week, and this happy feeling, to keep me going back to it.
Dream big, keep taking little steps, and believe. I could be on to something.

In other news, it's Noddie's birthday next week and the guest list she dictated to her father is as follows:
Nanny and Pa
Gran and Grandad
Uncles, Aunts and cousins (assorted)
Dorothy
Glinda
5 little friends
Bob and Wendy
A, my best friend who lives in Perth
my naughty little sister and Bad Harry
Justine and Andrew from Play School. Mind you if Rhys popped in as well I wouldn't complain. Rwowr.
Should be a blast.

Bummer, there's Noddie already, finished adorning every inch of her bedroom floor with her toys and books and her paraphernalia and ready to start on the rest of the house.

*SUNDAY EDIT: The 7 has gone again, curse those mind-messing scales (and that chinese food). But I know what I saw.
More anon, jugglers!

Cup Day 2007

08.30 Off to the TAB with booted andcowboy-hatted Noddie and her hobby horse Empire Rose. Noddie chooses horse to back based on colours of jockey's silks (which, alas, later runs last furlong as though it's tied to a rail), and fills in betting slip and posts it through machine at the counter. We at chez LBTEPA are all about culture, and if we're getting a public holiday for a horse race we want Noddie to know why.
09.30-12.30 Uni computer lab - start data analysis of paltry sample for the Bastard Thesis.
12.55 frock up for13.30 - 17.30 Cup Day party at friend's house, during which Noddie behaves absolutely charmingly - an utter fluke for which J and I naturally take full credit. Noddie remains committed to her hat at all times *wipes eyes* I'm so proudWin nothing despite having covered 80% of field in various sweeps.
18.00 Home.
More nibbles and drink
Crap TV
21.30 Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Tomorrow: Back to The Regime!

Thanks for riding with me

When I set out on Minerva at 06.30 yesterday the road was dry and there were blue patches in the sky. By 7 a.m. I was soaked to the skin. It spat then it sprinkled then it drizzled then it poured and then it bucketed - and it didn't get any better. By halfway around my planned loop I was very very wet and very cold and starting to get a bit agitated. I knew I had to calm down because I was starting to tighten up, which would tire me out in about 0.0001 nanosecond if I let it get the better of me. It did cross my mind for about 0.0001 nanosecond to ring the Spousal Unit and ask him to come and pick me up - can't you just picture it? Spousal Unit? Oh sorry, did I wake you up? Can you (wake Noddie up and bring her out in the car in a storm and) come and get me (so I don't have to ride another 10km) 'cause I'm cold and wet? Thank goodness LBTEPA-of-the-ramrod-backbone stepped in. I started drinking more water and more gat0rade, and eventually actually began to enjoy myself, making up songs with lots of swearwords about what a legend I was* - as you do - and zooooooooming through the roadwater cause my shoes weren't going to get any wetter!
As I rode along I was thinking of all my friends who, even if they think I'm a lunatic, would understand why the rain pattering on my helmet and dripping into my eyes made me grin. You crazed souls who go out there too, celebrating our blessings of health and strength in the rain or the heat or on the hills - Wil, Wes, Jeanne, Misty, Jayme....and so many others - all of you were riding with me today. It was my furthest on the bike since the ankle reconstruction and I was completely exhilarated, in a very wet, cold way. I may be crazy, but who cares?

More anon - including tales of a day at the Whittlesea show with the grumpiest child in the universe. That's if I can bear to think of it again.

* Think "I'm a legend, I'm a f%^&ing legend, I'm a legend, riding in the rain" sung to 'Alouette'. Now try and get rid of that earworm. Mwahaha.

How was your October?

May I just begin by saying that the responses I received to mylast post proved yet again that I am very blessed in my readers? ((HUGS)) You make me feel lucky.
Now: the numbers.*I didn't count the 5 days I was on antibiotics for a chest infection 'cause all I did was sleep and eat.
Exercise - 27/27 = 100%. I'm really happy with how working out is becoming a reliably pleasurable habit (does that mean I'm not training hard enough?). With a couple of event goals - more anon on that - it will become even more fun! (that probably proves I'm not training hard enough!). Time to start logging minute/kms etc in a sidebar I think.
Physio - 25/27 = 92%
Core - 11/16 = 68%. It took a little while after I got better to be able to bring myself to do anything painful. Back into it now. I usually stretch etc while the Spousal Unit is watching TV - we have very different tastes in shows but I like to be a bit sociable!
AFDs - 16/19 = 78%. I'm really working hard on this, especially identifying the reasons I want/have a glass of wine.
H2O - 24/27 = 88%. There's a reason this is still on the chart. I wonder if it will ever be second nature.
Thesis = 28 hours. *Sigh* More more more. Any Australian readers know anyone who has been managing a chronically painful injury or condition for more than 6 months who wouldn't mind filling in a few anonymous questionnaires for my research? I'm DESPERATE for subjects, I'm not joking. Excuse me while I hyperventilate.
Family and friends = 16/16 I've rung or emailed all my dear friends each week. I think this is improving the relationships already, especially with my sister.
As for my measurements/weight: THE SCALES AND TAPE MEASURE HATE ME and that's all I have to say about THAT. Onward!

Lately I've got into the habit of oooh I like that, it's not expensive, I'd wear/use it, I'll have it. There's nothing wrong with that in and of itself, but I'm noticing it more and more as a stress response accompanied by some anxiety as well. I like to feel disciplined about my spending habits, and lately I don't. Now the Plan is this: to buy nothing for myself that I don't especially need between now and the New Year. I've done this before - but this time I'm approaching it from a mindset of abundance rather than scolding. When I see something I'd like, I tell myself that I already have enough (shoes, clothes, jewellery - although I think we all know this last one is never true LOL) and then deliberately think about the nice things I already have. I tried it this morning out with Noddie and it worked really well. We shall see.

Can I hear you say WOOT! The physio was very happy with my progress this week, so LBTEPA is back on the road bay-bee! Run 3 minutes, walk 1 for 5km, three times a week; just me and my happy little collection of bop-along music. What could be nicer?

More anon, stargazers

It all ends with joy

Extra added bonus! This post has been fitted with convenient headings so you can choose which bits interest you!
1. Musings on blogging.
Why have a blog? Attention? Loneliness? Wanting to make friends? To connect with people and express myself? To make my goals more real and myself accountable? To celebrate life with like-minded others?
Are you a bit obsessive about your comments? I'm so lame, I sometimes even get a bit huffy and hurt when I don’t get ‘enough’
Neurotic LBTEPA:(whines) why don't they liiiiike me?
Stable LBTEPA: (sarcastically) of course, I forgot, no-one has anything else to do but comment on your blog, which is the centre of the Universe!
*slaps self on head, tells self to Get A Grip*
All utterly adolescent of course, and even more so when I realise it’s actually that ‘people will reject me if I’m not nice/good/ positive and if I’m rejected I will DIE’ thought pattern talking. I have struggled with this stupid reaction most of my life, but at least I recognise and challenge it now. Ah, maturity, eh? The other bloggy struggle I have is how much to disclose. Various life experiences have taught me that it’s dangerous to let people know when you’re feeling vulnerable, but then that leads to a bullet-proof façade which provokes either admiration or hostility - never support - along with trying to cope with everything alone, isolation and depression. I’ve been down that track, girls and boys – it’s not a good way.
It’s always a fire walk, isn’t it? Online as well as in the non-virtual world. You have to reach out to connect with people, but reaching out is scary 'cause you might not encounter kindness. I actually think it’s less of a risk in the blog-sphere, because people who blog have chosen to reach out and are more likely to be honest and supportive because that’s what they want for themselves.
Do you ever wish you didn’t think so much? I want to find the self-doubt switch, turn it off and RIP that bastard out of the wall. I think the answer is to work out the purpose of my blog. Getting that clear in my mind will help me feel more at ease about what I’m writing. For some reason I’m feeling a bit uncomfortable and scratchy in my skin lately, so anything that makes life more peaceful will be a blessing. Or maybe I should just HTFU* and write.
2.Training.
Even without running and with no specific event goals (for moi, tres weird) this has been a good training week. In my mind I’ve committed to doing that 4km swim in December (will have to check the Spousal Unit’s roster and my training progress before I hand over the cash) so I’m seeing all my lunchtime laps as money in the bank. I am utterly in love with riding my bike so every outing is a treat, especially since I think I have finally nutted out the right seat position.
3. Joy.
Did I tell you I’ve switched my car radio to the classical station? I spend about 6 hours a week driving and it occurred to me not long ago that I HATE COMMERCIAL RADIO – annoying announcers, stupid ads, unpleasant doof-doof music. I’ve no idea why it took me so long to think of doing something so simple that punctuates my day with beauty. Since then, I’ve been looking for other unconsidered habits that I might change to put more joy in my life. I need more fresh flowers, more bike rides, more bright colours, more singing. What about your life? What can you change to give yourself more joy?

Coming Soon - end of October wrap-up! Ooooh I bet you can't wait......
More anon, philosophers.*Harden The F#$% Up - a very popular acronym on the very scary hardcore triathlon forum in which I occasionally lurk.

rubik's rehab

Boring boring boring.
Flat flat flat (apart from my burgeoning midriff).
Mojo? Mojo? Wherefore art thou, mojo?
No wonder the comment numbers have been dropping off.
*sigh*
Well pardon me for sounding like Marvin the Paraoid Android - if you haven't read the Hitchhikers' Guide to the Galaxy I don't want to know cos I have recently seen myself in the bathroom mirror in the cruel early morning light and I don't need any more reminders of my vintage (see midriff, above).
So anyway after sweating for weeks over whether my constantly sore achilles/ankles/shins meant I was overdoing things trying for 3+3+3 (swim+ride+run) training sessions per week and thereby heading into a tailspin of chronically injured decrepitude (see mirror incident, above) I saw my physio this morning.
Apparently when you have had an outrageously unstable ankle your feet, shins and calves get used to that, and when the ankle gets all stable again the other bits of the rubik's cube (please tell me you know what a rubik's cube is, or else just kill me now) get all confused and weird and don't know what to do - and tighten up and get all sore. Come to think of it, I shouldn't be surprised: I've had relationships end just like that.
Now we can correct for this new state of affairs. No running this week (awwww, you mean no run 3 minutes/walk 1 for 5km? Boo f#$%ing hoo), even more peculiar exercises added to the daily repertoire, and a review in a week. Yes to cycling, yes to swimming (did I tell you I was thinking about an event in December as a post-thesis treat? Don't tell the Spousal Unit, he already thinks I'm a loony) and it's all good. None of it was because I did anything wrong. It's all normal normal normal and part of the rebuilding process.
All I have to do now is cheer the heck up, stop eating like a combine harvester and stop spending Noddie's inheritance on ebay. Such a bore discovering new dysfunctional stress responses. But it does prove I'm adaptable, no?
Take care everyone, especially the lovely Nancy, Geekgirl, Duane and SB who are racing this weekend. Go hard and have fun.
More anon, grinners!
*EDIT* I just realised this is my 200th post! Thanks everyone for hanging in, you are such darlings and your support means a lot to me ((hugs))
A joke to celebrate: why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
hahahaha LOL FOCL ROFL oh I crack myself up......

Ab Fab

Well this post was going to be all, sorry darls I got nuffin for you - flat flat flat lacking inspiration a bit tired a bit worried I might be overdoing it on my ankle blah blah blah, followed by some pretentious homily on Acting As If and how if I just keep on doing the right stuff the mojo will crawl back all hungover and grinning from whatever outrageously fun jaunt it's been on without me pretty soon I'm sure.
But then the magnificent Kathryn sent me this!! Mwah, dahling! Thanks so much for the lovely compliment *blushes*.
It's a serious duty in these conformist times to be as fabulous as possible and I thank Kathryn for reminding me.

Fabulous: –adjective
1. almost impossible to believe; incredible.
2. Informal. exceptionally good or unusual; marvelous; superb: a fabulous bargain; a fabulous new house.
3. told about in fables; purely imaginary: the fabulous exploits of Hercules.
Googling "fabulous" gives you 18,100,000 possibilities.
I think being fabulous is about being true to yourself. Even if they do care what other people think, fabulous people don't let those opinions interfere with living a joyful and courageous life.

Now I am privileged to pass this on to five other fabulous bloggers.
Jeanne,
Wil
Misty
Jayme
and of course our beautiful Beck.
Have you earned your Order of Fabulousness today? Celebrate your inner Diva! Refuse to be beige! Dream big and go after it! Smile while you're doing it! Set an example!

Maybe I will buy that Cup Hat after all.....

I'd best be off now; I'm riding to work today and need to leave early to try and avoid the trucks.
More anon, secret superstars ;)

Xkg - 1

I was going to blog this morning but all three of us were going out on a Saturday Train Adventure 'cos the Spousal Unit wasn't working for a change and I did heaps of work on Thurdsay so I could afford a day off the Bastard Thesis, and I was going to blog this afternoon but I was tired from our outing and had a nanna nap. Sorry my treasures, family pizza lunches at flash waterfront restaurants and sleep come before faffing on about myself.

Things that make me go *beam*
:)

It was so glorious this morning that when I went out for my run I had to restrain myself from breaking into "Zippety-doo-dah, zippety-ay, my oh my what a wonderful day....". It was either the local avian choral society or a bird CWA meeting, but the noise was captivating. The sky looked freshly washed and everything had that lovely soft, golden early-morning look about it. :)Spring Frost , one of my favourite paintings

The other night I was getting my stuff organised for the next day. I pumped up Minerva's tyres, oiled the chain and cogs, and adjusted the seat - amazing what useful stuff comes up when you google 'sore knees bike fit', no?. So what? you may ask. But you see, I can't do this bike-maintenance stuff! It's hard and I don't know how and I always mess it up. Hang on! No I don't! Doing stuff like that thrills me with a no doubt unfounded, but oh-so-sweet feeling of competence :)

As you know, me and the vino, we've been close. But becoming significantly less so, thanks to your encouragement :)

Antibiotics and rest 1: chest infection 0 :)

If you do something like, oh, say, riding your bike or running, three times a week for a month or so, you get better and stronger at it! This always surprises me, which is also funny :)

I'm SO not telling you how much I weigh - we're close, I know, but I'd HATE to have to kill you. It's becoming clear that my approach to lard-shedding - FTF, TBUS - is only working up to a point. It needs to be much more specific to provide the constant positive reinforcements and rewards I require from A Plan. So the plan is this:
I want to lose 9 kilos. In order to do that I need to lose 1 kilo. Then another, and then another and so on.
How to do this? I've begun my campaign by adorning the Bermuda Food Triangle (my kitchen) with yet another set of motivators. Not letters but numbers on my stove splashback and my fridge and my pantry door. The number written up everywhere is 1kg below my current weight. Xkg -1.That's my goal. When that number appears on my scales for an entire week (they are temperamental buggers and prone to messing with my head), I'll rub it off and write up a new Xkg - 1. That's how I'll get there.

Off to watch a George Clooney movie* and eat chicken and asparagus pasta cooked by the Spousal Unit now :) :) :) :)

More anon, strivers!
*Waddya mean, which one? Does it matter? Ocean's 13, actually - eye-candy heaven with Matt Damon, Brad Pitt and Andy Garcia. Rwow!

Minerva's big day out

It's So I did!
It was great fun, although the words 'so your legs hurt going up the hill and you've run out of gears? Whoopy-f$%*ing-do. You won't die and it'll stop at the top' did cross my mind several times.

Being as I'll do pretty much anything if there's a free feed involved, I joined in a community breakfast about halfway to work where the friendly local cyclists happily stuffing their faces were kind enough to impart their bike-wisdom. I found out which bike shop to go to (the staff at the one I've been going to are vying energetically for Mr Condescending Git 2007) , a Sunday morning riding group near my house, and had my bike engraved with an ID number (also free - woot!). Thanks to these good souls the Yarra Bike Trail is a frightening mystery no longer. I tell you what though - showering at work is a bit freaky. I piled all my stuff up against the locked door just in case.
Whether I ride or train it the 16km home (don't laugh, you bike-geeks, I have to start somewhere!) will depend on how sore my ankle feels later this morning. My rehab depends on my having the discipline to say 'that's enough, I'm stopping' when I really really want to just push it a teeeeeeny bit further. It drives me absolutely mental not to be able to plan plan plan lovely events and goals and schedules - but I know if I did, I'd be much more inclined to overdo it in training. There are nine or ten events I want to do over the next few months; I'm not entering any until the last minute so as not to risk overloading this pesky joint.

As the pinup-girl for Stretch-Goals-R-Us, this INFURIATES me.

*short pause as LBTEPA bangs her head against the wall*
I have to keep reminding myself that I'm training for fifty+ more years of active life, not just this summer. Sigh.

I *heart* Minerva.

More anon, hjólreiðamaður!
Isn't Icelandic a grouse language?

You know what?

Being whacked with the frump stick is a choice, and has nothing to do with size or income.
Having loads of people rush up and say they're glad to see you and you look awesome is extremely astonishing and gratifying.
Not appreciating your life is a terrible waste.
As of now I am OVER feeling apologetic for being over-the-top.
Why was I the only one with photos and address cards?
I am disgusted by people who have nothing good to say about their children.
Saying 'I'm not interested in learning about computers or the internet' is f%$king LAME.
The most attractive people are those who have something in their life that excites them - job, kids, triathlon, fishing, travel - it doesn't matter what, just that something makes your face light up when you talk about it.
It's great to feel validated in the way you approach your life.
It's a gift to be able to say, I'm so sorry I never found you all these years; I'm so very glad you came tonight and we're in touch again.
People who have always had email probably don't realise what a blessing it is.
It's good to be able to say, it's midnight and I've had a wonderful time and I'm going home now.

More anon, my friends!

SHOPPING. IS. HELL.*

And that's all I have to say about those three hours of my life that I can never get back.
I'm driving up to the old home town with a friend from school. We caught up during the organising of this shindig and I hope we stay in touch as she is an absolute gem.

Did I mention I. HATE. CLOTHES. and especially SHOPPING? Not entirely true - I love clothes but I am crap at buying anything that suits me. I dread that helpless feeling of incompetence I get stumbling around shopping centres, miserably watching other people effortlessly locate and snap up that perfect stylish little something. I was seriously considering piking on the reunion because I. Hated. a) Everything I own (except my boots - thanks to Linda and Beck for reminding me I own them - how could I forget them? what a train crash of a social life I have...) and b) Everything and Everyone (no exceptions).

More anon, fashion victims!
*See how this has messed with my head? I. Never. Do. This. Full. Stop. Stuff.
**in moderation, of course.

Freakout!

Have you turned out the way you were supposed to? Have you achieved what you wanted? Have you messed up your life? Disappointed yourself? Not done what you planned or wished to? Would you impress your old friends? Your old enemies? Can I get a facelift, liposuction, a great haircut and a fabulous life in the next four days?

It’s my high school reunion on Saturday.

WHAT AM I GOING TO WEAR?

Effortless yet awesome, that's the ticket. Do I own anything effortless yet awesome? Bugger!

I've pretty much convinced myself that not only is no-one expecting me to defend how my life has turned out, but also everyone will secretly fear that they will have to justify theirs, so we will all have a few too many sherbets and have a great time.
Have you been to a reunion? How did it go?

More anon, paleontologists

Melbourne Marathon cheersquad 2007

We probably shouldn't have joined the cheersquad today as we are sick as pigs with some horrid lurgi, but I said I would. You know how it is. We had a brilliant time yelling and clanging our cowbells. Noddie enjoyed herself hugely handing out jelly snakes. Now we feel DREADFUL but we can die happy after such a fun day. Congratulations to everyone!!

No idle threats

I never make idle threats, so I have lodged a formal complaint with the Equal Opportunity Commission against the triathlon organisers on the grounds that it is inequitable (and unlawful) to offer particular competitive conditions to men and not to women. This is not to say that all races must offer Athena and Clydesdale classes - but if you offer one then you have to offer both! It's not that difficult to follow, surely...
J kind of sighed and asked me, do you need this right now? All I could say was, once I recognised what was going on, and knew that it was wrong, and knew that there was something I could do, then I had to do it. Now it's in the hands of the EOC and could take several weeks to get going. The more I talk to my friends, the more convinced I am that I have done the right thing. The prejudice against larger people, especially women, grows more and more overt all the time.
Don't get me started on the BMI...grrrrrrrrr. Go to Jeanne's page and follow the link to the illustrated BMI for an eye-opener. And as for the flaming I got when I put a thread about this on coolrunning! Mind you most of that was from some prat using the handle Kipketer - he clearly has issues....unless Wilson Kipketer actually gives a rat's backside about my actions - oooh!
The thing is, I'm very confident at sports (I said confident, not good LOL) and I'll do any damn event I feel like whether or not I'm the lardiest or the slowest or have the worst hair or whatever. Many women aren't so lucky. My own dear sister said she'd think twice about going in a tri because she'd feel so bad competing against all those whippet-women - no criticism of those genetically-blessed creatures implied of course. She is as game as Ned kelly, my sister, and I'm doing this for her and women like her.
Enough on that for now.
This weekend is the Melbourne Marathon! I'm still pretty cut that I can't do the half and finish with a run on the MCG *pouts*. Next year. I'll be spending the time productively, screaming, yelling and throwing jelly snakes at our friends as they zoom/trudge by as part of the coolrunning cheersquad instead! (Kipketer is from Sydney so I should be safe). Not quite as cool as running it, but immeasurably less painless, and the last two years they've made me feel like a rock star as I trundled by so I'm happy to help out.

This post has got a bit out of hand so I'll have to tell you All About my Big Plans for the summer next time. Something to keep you awake, eh?
More anon, crusaders!

Bastards

Here is the response I got from the organisers of the tri series I was planning on doing, after I emailed them that I believed I had no choice but to lodge a complaint with the Equal Opportunity Commission on the grounds that their running a Clydesdale but not an Athena category was discriminating on the grounds of sex.

Good afternoon ,

I understand that you have had several discussions with our staff regarding the inclusion or otherwise of an Athena category in the forthcoming Gatorade Triathlon Series. Thank you for your feedback and comments.

Prior to the commencement of the 0607 Gatorade Triathlon Series the decision was made to discontinue the Athena category as a result of only one or two competitors entering this category during the preceding season. The facilitation of event categories requires the allocation of a significant amount of resources in the form of prizes, swim caps and wave start coordination, bike racks, administration and event registration requirements. As with any other product (be it a super market item or model of car) when there is insufficient demand the item will be withdrawn from the market by its manufacturers and the scenario that we are discussing is no different.

AT the completion of every Gatorade Triathlon Series event SuperSprint collects survey responses from participants of how they rate the various components of the event and requests for any new additions. Since the Athena category was discontinued we have not yet had one request (apart from yours) for it to be reinstated. We shall continue to monitor the demand in future.

We respect your right to refer this matter to the Equal Opportunity Commission however for the reasons outlined above we would have no concerns about justifying our decision.

Regards,

I'm upset now - the gatorade triathlons are the best, and pretty much the only, events run in Melbourne - but how can I give these pr%&*s my money? I wouldn't spit on them if they were on fire.
Please keep in mind that they have repeatedly told me there is no minimum number of entries for a category. In addition, how can people request a category which they are not told about? I don't believe their arguments are valid and I think their attitude is absolutely offensive, but I want to race.
Bastards.

How was your September?

The numbers:Swim + Bike 27/24 =112%. OCTOBER: Changed to % adherence to The Schedule, an arcane document based around running and riding three times a week each, but not on consecutive days, and the unavailability of Tuesday and Friday evenings and Saturdays after 10.00am. Whoever wrote that scheduling is the fifth discipline of triathlon (after swim ride run, nutrition and stretching. Fine, the sixth discipline. Whatever. Who cares? Give it a rest will you? Crikey) was bang on the money.
Physio 26/28 = 92%. Core 16/16 = 100% OCTOBER: Keep on keeping on.
AFD's 13/16 = 80%. OCTOBER: I should be aiming for more than 4 days a week, but too much failure too soon is my fast lane to 'who the f#$% cares, I give up' town.
H20 27/28 = 96%. OCTOBER: I'm keeping this on the list because sometimes I only drink the last couple so I can cross off the box.
Thesis 18/16 = 112%. OCTOBER: Changed to 10 hours/week which will be HARD. I watch too much TV anyway.
Weight +100g. WTF???? Measurements = LET'S NOT GO THERE. OCTOBER: The Spousal Unit has been appointed official measurer since either I stuffed it up last time or despite exercising twice a day and TBUSing like a loon my dimensions are expanding (nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!). And don't feed me any of your 'muscle weighs more than fat' or 'it's tone that's important' faff cos I AM SULKING.
My chart is all about living my priorities, so I added a column headed 'FRIENDS'. Now emailing or ringing my three dearest friends will no longer be reliant on my scatterbrain.

I am strangely attracted by the idea of signing up for a triathlon series this summer - Chez LBTEPA is the home of gluttons-for-punishment-r-us (training? what training?) - but it's pretty expensive and I'd probably better talk to my physio first.
Also *WARNING* RANT ALERT!* the organisers have annoyed me.
1. They are not offering an Athena (women over 70kg) category because there is not enough demand for it
2. There is no minimum number required to run a category
3. They offer a (MALE ONLY) Clydesdale category
4. They might offer Athena next year if there is enough demand
5. Demand is measured by surveying this year's participants about the event but, if it's the same questionnaire as last year, not actually asking them if they want an Athena category.
6. Anyway the categories for this year have been set *subtext: GO AWAY*
Most people here wouldn't know what Athena is because they've never heard of it cause the biggest series in Australia, boasting about all the newbies it's attracted to the sport, doesn't offer it!
Is it just me or has there been no logic wasted on their thinking?

How has your month been?

More anon, whatever the collective noun is for obsessive-crossers-off-of-charts!

Get one of these

A bloke I know had a bit of a scare recently - a person of his acquaintance went missing at about the same time as a woman of similar description was killed in a cycling accident. The woman had no ID. Fortunately it wasn't Comm's friend, but it did make me think of all the unidentified joggers found collapsed by the side of the road - quite often in Sydney for some reason, terribly dangerous place I gather. I wondered how the Spousal Unit would find out if I had a bad stack on my bike or was in an accident while running. So I bought this.

It's red so it goes faster

It's loaded with velcro and reflective stuff, has my name and J's contact details, and has been clinically proven to be as comfy as billy-o to perspire in. For about A$30 I can run and cycle hither and yon, secure in the knowledge that in the event of a misfortune befalling me my loved ones will rally to my side quicksticks. You should get one too. People care what happens to you! The link is here.

More anon, voyagers

...and then I thought, why the heck not?

Seeing as I've not ridden more than 25km in one go in the last DECADE, why NOT enter a 55km womens' bike event in 5 weeks' time? *SLAPS SELF ON HEAD*
*EDIT: Thanks Celeste - it's in 9 weeks, not 5. It's still a frightfully long way for Mrs Zero-Bike-Base.

Now, let the justification commence!

Doing this ride prevents me from even contemplating my favourite, really fun 10km run the following day, training for which would be far too much strain on my ankle at this stage....good plan!
I get a free bike jersey.....good plan!
I might not die....good plan!
DFL always beats DNSBTFC*
It's early in the morning so it won't be hot and I will be able to lie down all the rest of the day....GOOD PLAN!

After all, what IS life without a stretch goal that makes you faintly ill to contemplate?

Any of you Melbourne girls up for it? The link's in the sidebar. We could bitch together about what a stupid idea it was! There's a 20km too if you're not as much of a lunatic as someone we know

More anon, lanternes rouge!

*Did Not Start Because Too Chicken

r + b = :)

Now you are no doubt simply agog to know how much of the good stuff He Who Heals All is letting me do - rest assured, my friends, even if my head explodes with frustration there will not be one step or pedal stroke more than prescribed by The Plan. The Plan is this: 30sec run + 1min walk for 30 min, and 30 min on my actual, real, going outside bike! Woot! Twice this week, three times next week (plus the usual swims) - but maaaate, I'm Paula Radcliffe and Kate Bates rolled into one, baby! Perhaps I'll just be Emma Snowsill LOL.

+
=
I don't know why these stupid photos won't go side by side on the page - they do in the preview GRRRRRRRRRR
Other news:
*SMUGNESS ALERT* I did 80% of my Christmas shopping in a 50 minute rampage around DFO last night. I don't like shopping, so when I shop, I shop. My trusty red mp3 finally died (awwwwwwwwwww): let me introduce my new companion! Tres groovy, non? I never said I wasn't fickle. Now if only I could lose more than 400g a week and my thesis would write itself........

More anon, pod people!

Well there's not much happening here Bruce

Well there’s not much happening here, Bruce, the crowd is getting a bit restless….but hang on – what’s that?
Look Tim – a sight we didn’t think we’d see for quite some time – a heartwarming sight – a sight built on determination and courage....
Please stop talking such bullshit Bruce - now listeners, from the broadcast box here we can just see through the tunnel leading into the stadium – the crowd have just got the feed on the big screen and they’re rising to their feet screaming in delight as a small figure...
What? What? Who is it? What’s she doing?
...a small figure, dwarfed by this mighty stadium, the site of so many dreams and triumphs…..
if you don’t tell me right now Tim I will biff you one
...she’s lifting her knees
...her shoulders are back and her head is held high
...she’s breathing easily and grinning from ear to ear, oh this is an emotional moment Tim
here’s a hanky for you Bruce now get on with it

...it’s LBTEPA

....and she’s RUNNING!!!


and the crowd goes wild!!!!!

pick yourself up, dust yourself off..

...and start all over again.
Surely you too call on Fred and Ginger for solace and inspiration in times of crisis? Such poise! Such grace! Such fabulous clothes!

This afternoon I put my oldest friend Fil on a plane back to the U.K. where she lives with her adorable husband and two sweet sons. There's no reason for her to ever come back to Oz again now both of her parents have died. Fil and I have known each other for thirty-two years (eek! does that mean we're old?) through moves, more moves, overseas travel, marriages, divorces, relocations, more marriages, kids - and most of this was before email. Seeing her again has reminded me how much I miss her. The U.K. is such a long way away *wipes eyes*

This is a hideous photo and I am going to throw out that cardi and get my hair cut immediately, not to mention saving up for a chin lift - but it's the only photo I have of the two of us since the evil Spousal Unit broke my camera cable and I can only download from the memory card not the camera. Boo!

I am quite sad. To my shame I have dealt with it by embarking on a pretty much non-stop scoff-fest since I got home from the airport. Feel The Feelings, then smother the little bastards with food! Lemon tart, leftover pork, rice crackers, Noddie's cheesy pasta... you name it, it was shovelled willy-nilly into my voracious maw. You know what's a real trap? When you eat to feel better and it works. I'm feeling a bit sick now. I'm glad the Spousal Unit is working late so I won't have to bother with dinner.
But
I've done my 20 on the exercise bike and my core and physio exercises.
I've drunk all my water (and NO wine).
After I post this, I'm going to work on my thesis until J gets home.

Once again, LBTEPA demonstrates that something can be salvaged from the most grotesque train crash of a day. No need to thank me. I'm here to help.

Wild thing

(just quietly, go and read the last comment on my last post. Whatever can it mean? LOL I wish I took drugs like that)
It's been a quiet week in Lake LBTEPA - busy in a 'oh, ok, my supervisor who left in June didn't hand in my thesis funding application? No worries, I'll do it again right away this afternoon', oldest friend over from the UK to bury and mourn her father and pack up his house, new exhaust system and replacement windscreen for my car, the Spousal Unit doing strange (disruptive to my routine) work shifts etc etc kind of way. No big dramas, lots of little stuff.
There have been a couple of forays onto the wild side. It's all over between me and my surgeon - that's it, finito, ta ta, bah-byeee! He's delighted with my recovery and says I can run 'last week'. To that I reply (not to his face tho), you stick to the cutting and pasting mate, and we'll leave the making-it-work-again to my physio. He Who Heals All has set 30 seconds of pain-free hopping as the benchmark for hitting the footpath, so I may be observed diligently bobbing up and down on a daily basis, often accompanied by the lovely Noddie.
No, this will not be on YouTube.
This week's project Out Of My Comfort Zone (I forgot to tell you about that - one not-habitual thing each week) was (are you sitting down?) hanging the washing on the line just as it came out of the basket! Oh I know, I know......how could I? Jeans next to t-shirts, Noddie's stuff all mixed in with ours, undies cheek by jowl with socks! I felt so daring!
That was probably a bit more revealing than I meant.
Apart from that it's been SSDD - morning swim, evening exercise bike, core work every second day, TBUS (Think Before yoU Scoff) slowly changing my habits.
More anon, my lovelies!

You asked for it

Well, a couple of you did so here it is....the LBTEPA manifesto.
I wrote this after several friends talked about how they are feeling tired, torn, overwhelmed, unsatisfied…. not unhappy as such, and courageously counting their blessings, but not happy. They each commented that my life is so 'balanced' - I nearly laughed, then felt bad that they are comparing themselves to something they have obviously misinterpreted! Moi? Balanced? Come orrrrrn, you all know I struggle and bitch and moan and wallow and despair of my faults and my pathetic efforts at improvement and of my dreams coming true as much as anyone else.

But then I thought a bit more.
The key to this 'balance' is that I know why I do most things.
I try to live a principle-centred life. When I go crook at Noddie or J, I always fight fair. I know what problem I’m trying to solve so I don’t (usually) feel guilty. I don't say yes when I mean no, and sorry is not the hardest word. I'd usually rather be kind than be right.
I have stated, ordered life priorities, which help me work through those ‘what to do? What to do?’ situations. At the moment they are
1. Family. 2. Study. 3. Health. 4. Work.
For example, I could have arranged for Noddie to have an extra day a week in childcare so I could cram in more uni work and get my thesis done without requiring an extension. No. Noddie will be at kinder next year, and school after that and she won’t be my little girl any more. I’m not sacrificing these precious days together because uni made a mess of things, even if it does mean I take an extra year to qualify. I’m angry, but not confused. Thoreau wrote that the cost of a thing is the amount of life you have to expend to get it and I think that’s true.
Clear priorities help me stand my ground with J about his domestic habits. Washing and putting away clothes, cooking and doing dishes is looking after my family. Picking up dirty dishes or clothes or newspapers is NOT!
This year I’ll sacrifice a workout for a library session if I need to – and try harder to organise myself so I don’t have to next time. See where I’m going with this? It makes it easier to do the things I want, too – if I’ve fulfilled my obligations to my family I have no (ok, only a few, ok, not too many) qualms about taking time for myself. Having a big picture of my life means I can be kind to myself after one of my frequent stuff ups. I never have to ask myself did I try hard enough? because I know that I always try my (often poor) best.

J and I have discussed the values we want our family to have, so a lot of my choices are about leading us toward them – setting an example of fitness and discipline means I take the time to work out, enter us into family fun runs/walks, and chivvy Noddie and J out the door on morning walks because he needs the exercise. Valuing education and endeavour means I take the time to study. Having a peaceful home as a priority led to my choosing to work part-time and to J putting some of his hobbies on hold so we’re not rushing all the time. Helping each other be the best we can be means we try and make sure everyone gets to do the things we really want to. I want Noddie to see life as an adventure so I make sure she has them, even if it’s just a walk to the creek or a train ride.
J and I review our major goals twice a year. It probably sounds all lame and idealistic, but knowing where I want to go means I can keep correcting my direction. If I have a plan I can change it; if I don’t, I’m just drifting.

This might sound a bit Captain Obvious, but it took me a long time to learn that I am allowed to want what I want. I am allowed – please note I did not say entitled - to want a happy marriage, a well brought up child, a fulfilling career, an inviting home, a financial plan, a marathon (and more), travel….. big dreams, big adventures! Believing it’s ok to want all these things means I don’t have to have them all at once. There will be a right time for all of them if I keep moving toward them and don’t give up.
And if what I want is ok, then quite likely I am ok!

My dear mother told me that happiness is the sum of small joys - training yourself to deliberately, actively enjoy the funny little things. Did I tell you Noddie calls the classical music station on her radio ‘surprise dancing music’? I start every swim with a huge splash and a play in the bubbles. It pleases me every single time I do it, and I’m allowed. I wear lipstick and earrings and cool shoes because I like them. Martin Seligman thinks happiness is about savouring, mindfulness and developing your strengths and virtues. I may have to form a fan club! After I lose 10kgs, get fit again and knock off the grog of course.

Books that have changed my life:
Stephen Covey’s “Seven habits of highly effective people” and “Seven habits of highly effective families” about principle-centred living.
Barbara Sher’s “Wishcraft” and “I could do anything if only I knew what it was” are about discovering the essential things that make you happy, and how you can get them. How to ignore all the “I shouldn’t/I can’t because...” and climb over all the ‘too hards’ and ‘not practicals’. They remind me that sadness and fear and complaining are acceptable and essential parts of going after big dreams. Stiff upper lips are for people with no imagination. These books help me fit my secret ‘big life’ into my little suburban existence.

That’s enough for now. I’m sure I’ll have to come back to this post to remind myself, but this is how I try to live.
Of course it could all be about justifying doing exactly as I please. Who can tell?

Now it's your turn to write down how you like to live. Consider yourself tagged.

More anon, visionaries!

Gritted teeth

I'm having A Day. You (if you're female) may know these Days. A Bastard Day. One of those hormonal, itchy-brained, furious, tearful, despairing, hateful, exhausting days where simple human interaction is the Hardest Thing In The World and the only answer is to burn the house down, eat and drink too much and go back to bed (in someone else's house).
But today Things Will Be Different.
I will not go back to bed until I have worked on my thesis for at least two hours.
I will not eat my bodyweight in chinese food until I have exercised and done my physio.
I will not drink any wine until after 7.30pm (and trust me, on days like this that is a Big Ask).
I will not burn the house down even though it is very very messy and coming home after we visited J's houseproud friend this morning made me want to cry.
Tomorrow I will wake up and today will be over and I'll be proud of myself.

**THE FINAL SCORE: Bastard Day 0 - LBTEPA 4. Go me.

A lucky escape

So..... I was talking to some friends and the stuff we were talking about made me want to write my "life manifesto" - why I do things and how I try and live the best way I can. A lengthy and abstruse document chokkers with illuminating vignettes and arcane wisdom, spanning the miles majestically etc etc.
Then I thought, naaaah, what have my dear readers ever done to me?

It's been a week of small triumphs. I've knocked back (as in refused, not sculled!) a glass of wine on more than one occasion *pauses to pat self on back* - hey, it's my life and they're my little victories!
Having TBUS (Think Before YoU Scoff) written up over the stove has proven an effective deterrent to the not-really-second-helping-just-another-spoonful habit that was creeping in.
This morning I woke up at 06.05 - 25 minutes late!!! oh no!!! - and still hurled myself from my warm bed, into my togs and trackies and to the pool. This was largely thanks to Comms' most recent post. Comms blogs about avoiding an uninspired life "using determination, right attitude and sacrifice make your dream come true". I want an inspired life.
This will make you keensters laugh, but I have cracked 20 minutes straight on the exercise bike without having to be given CPR afterward. Little by little, eh? Physio tomorrow but I'm not expecting to be allowed to run yet. Soon, my chickens.....

Huge news: WE FINALLY HAVE ETHICS APPROVAL!!! SO I CAN START RECRUITING!! and then wait for people to get back to me and then send them the questionnaires and then wait for them to be sent back and then enter and analyse the data and then write it up.......but heck, this is progress! I wonder when I would have got the approval if I hadn't rung the committee secretary? Just asking.....

More anon, dreamers

HFD2U

Happy Father's Day to all the Dads I know
and to all you blokes who have a Dad
or might one day become a Dad

and especially to my favourite Dad


and my favourite Daddy
*
*At the Father's Day 5km walk. Noddie was a trouper the whole way and my ankle was a-ok.

Now go and get your prostate checked. We can't do without any of you.

More anon, venturers!