Live long and prosper

Should any of my five faithful readers be so lacking in diverting activities as to be inclined to read aallllll the way back through the last five or six years of the Chronicles of LBTEPA (PLEASE DON'T. somuchwhining) they would note a common theme of posts from this time of year, to whit: I AM SICK. Noddie is sick. We are the house of broken sleep and phlegm. Buy panad0l shares. The weather has turned and I've caught a bug and my sinuses have embraced it like a long-lost brother. Aha! It must be May!
Interestingly, realising this makes it easier to manage without diving into the (very tiring) I don't manage my health I am a bad weak person and should try harder pool. I need to rest and take my wonderful wonderful antibiotics , and maybe, just maybe, try and take this all into account if I ever decide to do a winter marathon again. I'll hit the (real) pool again on the weekend.
This leads me to another really cool thing that's happened lately.
I'm having a bit of a phase of really really cool things happening lately, aren't I? I'm thoroughly enjoying and appreciating every minute of it too! But I digress.
The other day I was watching the Port Macquarie Ir0nman on tv and I was thinking about what Ironman I would do if I ever did one - Busselt0n is just so very far, Melbourne sells out, Port Macquarie is very hilly and gravity and I and the bike just don't get on. No big thing, one might think; just an idle reverie. But it's not so long ago that I couldn't even think about racing or even exercising again. I still can't, not properly, but my mind isn't flicking away instinctively from the painfully terrifying thought of what I never...?  that tangled around even the smallest ideas of riding or running. I think I protected that little tiny hope from the monster avalanche of fear in my head by hiding it deeply away. I couldn't let it out for fear it might be lost. But it's a persistent little bugger, God bless it, and it seems safe enough now to give it a bit of air and sunshine. We'll see what happens.
The extra really super cool thing about to happen is that I'm zooming off to the big smoke this arvo to catch up with the survivors of my Master's course for a lovely bitchfest dinner and catch-up, and then on Thursday I'm graduating!! A mortarboard at last! They didn't hand that pointy headgear out willy-nilly to high school students and undergrads in my day, dearies, oh no they didn't. I've waited a very long time for this. We're all very excited, especially Noddie as she (naturally) needed a new outfit.
Here's to stunning new phases, darls!

More anon

Don't be like that

As you may or may not be aware, many exciting things have been happening on planet LBTEPA. I have shed The Boot! Matching shoes will catch on, I just know it. And *squeals and girly handflaps* I have resigned from my job !!!!!! and will be striking out solo in the new few weeks. I always thought Having Your Own Business was something Other People did so I am finding this all quite disconcerting - but in a Good Way. I feel very happy about it.

I am writing today about something else that happened. It was on effbbee, that great revealer of true natures (alas). There's a bloke I've known for years who I've been pleased enough to call 'friend'. We used to run together, I'd see him around at races, he seemed really positive to the back o'the packers such as myself - generally a good bloke.
He is, alas, prone to posting  on the aforementioned social media site those postcard thingos dissing the unfit and the lardy. The wording on his most recent one was 'You're fat. I'm not going to sugar coat it 'cause you'd eat that too'.
I thought that wasn't very nice.
So I messaged this bloke privately to say that before he posted fat-dissing posts, he might like to think of how hurtful they could be to his lardy friends (such as myself and the Mighty Emma), and that I hoped to see him around at a finish line sometime soon.
I received no reply. Not long afterward I happened to see that he had posted the following:
"someone" sent me a private message, saying they did not like what I post on my facebook page?????????????? it is ''my facebook page'' and ''I will post on ''my'' facebook page what ''i'' like to post on ''my'' facebook page"
There was more in that vein, followed by 36 comments basically flaming me for having the manners and the guts to call him privately on his nasty bullshit.


Effbee is so convenient.

But I was also a little bit sad. I'd thought better of this bloke. As I said, I've known him for some years. And I'd paid him the respect of assuming he had been inadvertently offensive and that he cared about me as a person. So there you go.
Shaming and dissing a fat person isn't going to make that person want to stop eating sugar and take up ultras. It's going to lose you a friend and make the world just the tiniest bit sadder. Classy, gracious people - such as you, my five faithful readers - say sorry when they realise they've hurt someone. They live by their values and show their big hearts. I love having such people in my life. They (you)  make me try to be a better person.

I think this is the moral of the story.
More anon, treasures

Two shoes!

No more boot - only a brace! It's a happy day!
Now to head to the pool and walk across it a few times whoopeefrickendonoIneversaidthat
Physio says, LBTEPA does......

More anon, snail-pacers!

Lots of love on mother's day

I don't think you have to have given birth to be a Mum. If we're lucky, we've had someone in our lives, at some time, who's made us feel safe and valued and as though, although the world is big and scary, it's still full of joy and beauty and adventure that we can be part of if we work hard and are brave (and CLEAN UP OUR ROOMS).

This is for all those women.

 

I told the Spousal Unit that what I wanted for mother's day was a push around the Mother's day Classic course so I could have my "10 year streak". I thought he would laugh or roll his eyes or something. It sounded pretty stupid even to me. I think I was just so sad that the prawns were going to steal my 10-in-a-row as well as everything else they've taken.
A digression: I know I can't blame crustaceans for my weight gain and depression and lost fitness, every action was my decision and I should have tried harder, but sometimes I do. I think the saddest thing I've learned about myself since I broke my ankle is that I'm not as iron-willed-invincible as I hoped I would be if something like this ever happened. If I'm not, if I'm so lame as to get myself into this mess, then how will I be able to get myself out of it? But (as I mentioned) I digress.

The Spousal Unit borrowed a wheelchair from work

We signed up, got a posse together, including my awesome Mum, and off we went. It was very odd to be completely in someone else's hands. Especially since, as my mum put it, J didn't so much push the chair as drive it! Gosh he's strong.
I noticed strong feelings of shame arising as I sat there being pushed along. I think the shame was 'I'm not this fat person who can't run! I'm not!' But I am, that's the fact of it. It is what it is, and I have to grapple with the meaning I've assigned to this fact. Weight gain and physical weakness are NOT failures or faults. How I am right now has to be ok. It usually is, but today was pretty confronting.
I was also confronted by the fact that the mother's day run last year was when I realised that my ankle was actually quite buggered. It's now a full year since I've run around the lovely river track near my house, or indeed anywhere much at all. I felt quite irritable a lot of the time, but I don't think anyone noticed becuase it was such a beautiful day and everyone was in such a good mood.  Mum got talking to a woman who'd had foot surgery 6 months ago and wasn't walking properly yet OMG my head nearly exploded; if I'd been able to run away I would have. shedidn'thavethesamesurgeryasmeI'msureofitlalalanotlistening
So overall a funny-sad-confusing-happy day full of love.

    

I don't know why that woman is staring at us like that.AND I DON'T CARE.

  

(Noddie came too, but instantly found some friends she liked better than us and went around with them. They went really fast, she said, and we told her we were proud of her.Then we went to the pub for lunch and bubbles with the in-laws and some other friends, and then we had a Very Quiet Afternoon).

 

I have ten of these now. One for every year I've been a Mum. Thankyou J, for not listening when I said it was a stupid idea and it ws too much trouble and I wasn't going. This is the best mother's day I've ever had.

Do you have a stupid idea? Maybe it's not very big, but you really want it, right inside your heart, and you'll be really sad if it doesn't happen? That you don't want to admit to becuase other people will laugh? Well listen to me, my five faithful readers: let it out, into the daylight. Give it some air - tell people you want it. You'll see that even if they do laugh, or they're dismissive or their eyes glaze over, the little dream is still sparkling there. It's your dream. It's your heart.  And that makes it perfect.

And they might not laugh. They might cheer you on. Or even help you.

More anon, streakers!

two steps forward

Mobile eftpos machine, business cards, bank account - tick
Medicare number, practice management software, rug - tick
Charming print of zen garden, new (serious business lady) boots, clock - tick hahahahahaha see what I did there?
Weights, exercise bike, core work - tick
Suddenly extremely sore and tender ankle, rush trip to Melbourne to see the surgeon and two weeks extra in the boot - tick. Boo! But all turned out to be well and I bought a new dress so no worries.

 In other news, a woman I work with was going on about how she told someone she had gained 10kg and they just nodded and said mmmmm instead of no! that can't be true! and she was all upset. I took her aside and shared the LBTEPA Secret Method for Gaining 10kg (if you must):
1. Buy some bigger clothes so you are comfy and look nice.
2. Wear Fabulous Lipstick At All Times (especially important if you are temporarily unable to wear fabulous shoes), and, most importantly,
3. DON'T MENTION IT. Extensive research by the LBTEPA Institute of Living Well Is The Best Revenge has shown that people are far more likely to focus on kindness, charm, and fabulousness than on lard.
Trust me.


More anon, hoppy-go-kickers!

squeals and girly handflaps!!!

Well.
This isn't really a 'my life' blog but since you, my five faithful readers, have borne so much bleating about the Masters That Ate My Life etc etc over the years, I feel it is right to share some Brilliant News now that I have some.
After a, shall we say, somewhat unsatisfying conversation with my employers regarding an appropriate change in my remuneration following the hard-earned acquisition of all my Official Bits Of Paper, the Spousal Unit and I combined a nice lunch out with a bit of a cruise of local office spaces. An exploratory exercise, mind you. Just looking. And then we were in The Perfect Office. High ceilings, big windows, huge passing foot traffic, good price. Not horrible paint. And then we went back to look again after my physio appointment (of which more later). And then I was saying it's great, we'll have a think about it and ring you back this afternoon
and then the Spousal Unit started shaking his head and mouthing no, we'll take it now.
and I was all what?
and he was all no, let's just do it
and I was all really?
and he was all yes!!!
So we did!
And then we bought a laptop and a phone and professional indemnity insurance and business cards and some nice chairs with flowers on them and organised an eftpos machine and applied for a new medicare number.I should be open for business by the end of this month. It's really happening! I can't believe it, but the chairs are being delivered next week so it must be true.
*fans self*

In other, even more ace news (if that's possible), my physio is very happy with my ankle and that means I am too. I engage diligently in fun exercises such as pointing my toes up and down and turning my foot outward. Turning it inward is a treat to be anticipated, but that happy day will come, my pretties. Oh yes it will. My spare time is now filled with standing on my right leg with my eyes shut - quite tricky - working on my core and upper body with my home weights, and joy of joy, a bit of sweating on the exercise bike!! Yay!! Part of me is horrified and deeply saddened by how (I was going to say lame hahahaha) pathetic these small steps are, and how frighteningly far there is to go, but there it is. I must walk the yellow brick road one step at a time, no? Wearing pretty shoes and in the company of friends (however hairy, creaky or flammable they might be).

More anon, ruby slipper dancers!