Flat

No, not a post about AWOL mojo nor a thesis-induced coma of frustration, but the epic tale of Minerva's first flat tyre!
Oooh gosh LBTEPA, you say, how very hardcore you are, riding about having flats and bravely mending them all by yourself in the middle of nowhere!
Alas, had it but been that simple.....had success not been thwarted by the slings and arrows of circumstance....alas!
Now read on....
Wake up feeling crampy and blah.
Decide to go out anyway
Put sunnies in pocket as still pretty dark
Ride
Watch sun rise, feel all privileged and cool
Take (fortunately el-cheapo) sunnies out of pocket
Drop them on road and watch truck run over them
Consider going home
Ride on
....
Notice back tyre is flat
Think to self, it would be the back tyre, wouldn't it?
Feel pleased I've had practice getting back wheel undone putting Minerva on the trainer
Resolve to never let the Spousal Unit (henceforth known as 'ol Iron Hands) put the back wheel on again
Briefly consider ringing Spousal Unit so he can undo the 'quick release' (hahahaha)
Struggle on
Cut finger
Undo 'quick release'
Remove wheel
Feel pleased at having remembered to put tyre levers in bike bag
Feel pleased at remembering how to use tyre levers
Feel pleased at having remembered to put spare tube in bike bag
Feel pleased at remembering how to get tube back in
Feel extremely pleased at remembering how to get tyre back on
Begin pumping up tyre
Check that valve doover is done up
Check that other valve doover is undone
Pump tyre
cut finger on pump
Check that valve doover is done up
Check that other valve doover is undone
Pump tyre
......
Check time.
Ring Spousal Unit for a lift home
Convince self it must be a faulty valve.
Feel cross at equipment failure preventing heroic journey - and tale - of obstacles overcome. 'Cause by crikey, although I do confess that until it came to the crunch I was a bit dubious about being able to do all the other stuff, I know I can pump up a tyre.
Put back wheel back on easily
Feel very surprised
Clean small proportion of total grease and mud from about my person
Wait by side of road.
Get lift home from Spousal Unit and Noddie
Tell Spousal Unit about eleven times that it wasn't my fault and I didn't just give up
Make Noddie's lunch, get her dressed, eat breakfast, shower, dress, take Noddie to childcare
Take Minerva to petrol station
Fail to inflate tyre using petrol station air thingy
Feel vindicated
Take Minerva to bike shop
Bike shop man has to hit JAMMED valve with a hammer to make it work
Feel vindicated
Buy new red bike sunnies


It's election day on Saturday. I'll be handing out how-to-vote cards in Orbost. You can make a difference to the future of this country. So do it.

More anon, comrades!