Weight

As I trundle around our neighbourhood I often get to thinking about stuff.
I was thinking about my weight the other day. I'm not exactly sure what it is at the moment, which is unusual for me. Around seventy none of your business kgs, I would think. I'm a bit of a stress eater, alas, and a stress drinker as well. I used to weigh myself almost every day. When marathon training cranked up, work went mental, I kept getting sick, and uni obligations didn't magically go away, I decided something had to give. And you know what? I don't miss it at all. I didn't realise how much importance I was giving That Number. One thing I have learned - again - from Very Slow Marathon training, and the people I have met along this journey *hi Emma! hi Mary and Jeanne! hi Mrs W!*, is that my value is not determined by my weight, or my measurements, or my speed. Or by how I respond to stress, for that matter.
And another thing.... I've been lighter than this. I could lose weight if I put a lot of effort into it - but quite frankly, at this moment I have better things to do. Unlike when I was lighter, I have a happy marriage and a rich family life. I'm studying and working hard toward a rewarding career. I'm in very good health, apart from these wretched everlasting viruses. I'm going to run a marathon (in two weeks, eeek!). Life is good. Maybe I'll throw out my scales altogether! Probably not, though...but still. What could you do with the energy you use worrying about your weight?
More anon, deep thinkers!

Scattered

This isn't a blog about my work so I'll just say that things have been very difficult but I'm a big girl and will manage. Thank goodness I only work part-time and have a very happy home life.
I've handed in one of the three uni assignments I have due - a day early! go me! - and that was the one I had the least idea how to do so the others should be easier to crank out.
If this is coming across as distracted and lots of sentences and ideas all running together, welcome to my head at the moment! Scatty LBTEPA has moved in and doesn't appear likely to disappear in the forseeable future. Similar to the viral infection that is driving up the share prices of sinus medication manufacturers, but what can I do? I'm so used to operating sub-par after this #$*!?$ winter of everlasting lurgis that, after the four days that I spent either sleeping or propped up feebly near the heater, I'm ignoring the #$*!?$ out of it. A good way to start my taper, no? I'm confused by my taper. I feel quite good. I've added a few extra hills to my mid-week runs but am sticking to my (ahem) "race pace" and maintaining my cross-training, aka spinning away on my bike trainer watching triathlon on TV. Sad.
My marathon race pack and number arrived yesterday. I opened it and thought
- oooh how exciting!
- this probably means I actually have to do it
- I think I'm a bit offended at being described as Extremely Slow (runners expecting to take more than five and a half hours). I prefer the term "thorough". However, as the Spousal Unit pointed out, if I'm offended by being called slow I should get a new hobby. Don't you get all logical on me!
- waddya mean, 1p0ds are 'strongly discouraged'? You tell me this NOW? (I did look very carefully for such a pronouncement on the website before signing up). I can feel some civil disobedience coming on.
- this probably means I actually have to do it.
Hey guess what? I've raised more than a thousand dollars for CanTeen! I have the BEST FRIENDS IN THE WORLD
More anon,...um.....what was I saying?

Found

I've been looking for the pair of schmicko 0akley sunnies I won last summer for so long that I was convinced they were gone for good. And I've been looking for my copy of J0hn B1ngham's Marathon Running for Mortals for weeks and weeks, as I find obsessively reading and re-reading it to be soothing, what with three assignments due, yet another !&?#$*%?! bug to will from my body and, oh yes, a full marathon to do IN 20 DAYS AAARRRGGGHHH.
Yesterday I found both of them.
*beams*
More anon, cheery little souls!

through and through

Our Bulldog hearts are broken.

Dummy spit

*WARNING! WARNING! WHINGE ALERT!! WHINGE ALERT!!*
I'm in my study trying to crank out the 3000 word essay that's due next Wednesday. I've written more than half of it and I still don't have a #$%ing clue what I'm doing. I hate uni.
I hate my virus-ridden husband, my disease-ridden work colleagues and my germy child with a smouldering loathing that may transcend time and space. My joints ache, I'm wheezing like a geriatric VW and my #$%ing sinuses have turned on me again. According to the quack I have another viral infection. Prescription: rest. Ha! I hate everyone. I am LBTEPA and I Will Be Cranky if I want to.
I'm going to the footy tonight with my sister. Between us we've attended nine losing preliminary finals. For us to win would be the upset of the season. Stupid footy. GO DOGS!The Schedule says I'm supposed to do another 35km this weekend. I may tell it to #$%& off. My spot on the team for Delhi won't be at stake if I'm one long run short.
Hmmmph.
More anon, paranoid androids

HTFU? I don't THINK so!

35km is a big milestone in Very Slow Marathon training. It's the furthest most people run in preparation - the last 7km is meant to appear magically out of the air (or somewhere) on race day. Hmmmm.
It was certainly a big milestone for me. I wasn't looking forward to it in any way. It became even less inviting when I found out that the Spousal Unit was starting work an hour earlier than usual on Saturday and I would have to be home from my five-plus hour run before 9am. I'll give you a moment to think that through.
I had a wee bleat about it on F&ceb**k, no details, just that J's hours meant that I'd have to get up earlier than I had planned. My darling friend Wes had a teeny go at me, suggesting that I might like to HTFU (Harden The F*** Up). No offence taken, mate, I thought to myself, but I'll show you HTFU. Yes. I. Will.
So, Saturday morning. I left home at 3.30am. Three Thirty Ay Em. Yes. I. did. You're right. That's insane. But when J works on the weekends, a five hour block of time is hard to come by. It was a choice of bite it from 3.30-8.30 on Saturday morning, or bite it from 5pm-10pm on Sunday night. Which would you pick?
Nothing notably horrid happened on the run. It wasn't a whinge-filled suffer-fest. I just ran and ran and ran. I filled up my water bottle when I saw a tap, I had a gel every hour and I ran some more. The sun came up (handy!), it didn't rain, it took a long time, and my feet hurt so much by the end that I was looking forward to my ice bath. Yet another example of the world of wrongness that is VSM training.
I'm a bit jealous of people who train with others. I read in a book (of course I bought a book. How else would you prepare for a marathon?) that these groups are simply bursting with cheery souls whose sole joy in life is to encourage the slow, the tired and the bleat-prone. I SO need one of them. I do. As my five faithful readers know, life LBTEPA-style is all about getting what I need, so on Saturday I decided to become my own Tiresome Cheery Friend.
LBTEPA:I'm so slow! TCF: yes, but I'm thorough!
LBTEPA: My feet hurt. TCF: because I'm kicking so much arse!
Once I'd hooked TCF answers to my bleats, it was almost funny - I'd slip into o woe, o woe! and my TCF would make me smile, just like that.
After I got home and had my ice bath, I posted about my epic FIGJAM-ness on F&ceb**k. One of my friends replied that she'd got home from a big night an hour after I left to run! Now that's stamina.
However: I hereby claim the right to NEVER EVER HAVE TO HTFU AGAIN*. SO THERE.
More anon, legends!*Or at least for several weeks

Yawn

I glanced at the clock yesterday morning, clicked off the alarm so as not to awaken the Spousal Unit and rolled out of bed to run. Drink, chew, dress, go. It was dark, as I expected. Unexpectedly, however, it was still dark when I was half way around. The bakery people weren't sweeping the footpath and the loos near the station weren't open. That's when it dawned on me.... I'd got up an hour early. I'm such a dill! But all the other hardcore athletes (ahem) out there greeted me, and it was pretty running by the creek listening to the birds. It was also good practice for the unmentionable time I'll be leaving home on Saturday morning. But let's not go there yet.
It's Noddie's school concert tonight. We are all wildly excited.
More anon, dawn treaders!

Tumbling

Hi hi hi everyone!. I had the funniest post almost finished and then it didn't save, so there's another gem lost for posterity. Oh well. At the moment I'm feeling as though I live in a tumble-dryer - warm, purposeful, a bit confusing, quite enjoyable.... but always at the back of my mind there's this please can I just stop?
Noddie and the Spousal Unit have been as sick as I have ever seen them. Poor loves. Thank goodness they are getting better at last. Please send a prayer to your preferred deity that my immune system holds up against the barrage. Note to self: get some of that olive leaf extract Sharyn recommended.
I have two more long runs to do - proper long runs, not the 'just for fun', yet, as always lately, glacially slow....le sigh.... 21km I did on Sunday night. What's happened to me? What sort of person says, thank goodness, only three hours on The Schedule ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY SCHEDULE this weekend? I just can't think about 35km. I can get ready for it, and I will do it, but I can't think about it. Too. Scary. Yet horribly fascinating at the same time. I'm focusing on the shopping trip planned for afterward with Mrs W, my partner in team Stupidly Determined. We're getting matching shirts! Have you been over to my fundraising page lately? I've had to raise my target total again! I am so grateful for everyone's generosity.
I have eight and a half thousand words to hand in before M-day as well. Not much hope of escape from the dryer in the near future, but as I said, it's warm in there. It's time to really focus on my priorities. I do too much housework anyway.
More anon, sparklers!

Worries

I've had a bit on my mind lately. The dog ate my running sunglasses. True! Could this be an omen? Of what, though?
People are telling me that these long runs get easier. So far longer = harder. I'm not convinced.
People are telling me that the atmosphere of race day makes everything better and will carry me through those last 7km (my longest scheduled run ALL HAIL THE SCHEDULE! is 35km). I'm not convinced.
People are telling me that, like me, they themselves hated every step of the interminable suffer-fests known as long runs, and that they too were consumed by doubt at, firstly, their ability to finish the marathon, and secondly, the wisdom of running a marathon at all, since, let's face it, 42.2km is a Very Long Way, especially if one is Very Slow. My worry is this: after they finished they were immediately consumed by the desire to do another one!!! I don't know what I'll do if that happens. I might book myself in for some intense chardy, chips and couch therapy just in case. The Spousal Unit would certainly roll his eyes and sigh deeply, but he's had a lot of practice at that.
It's a lovely time of year here in beautiful Melbourne. Early spring, blossoms in the trees, just that bit warmer and lighter.....and it's footy finals time and my team is looking good! No finals games have been played yet so nothing has gone wrong. I'm not kidding myself: I've followed my team for a Very Long Time. I'm braced for crushing disappointment.
But not yet.... More anon, Scraggers!