Thursday, May 28, 2009

Warning! Warning!

WARNING TO MY FIVE FAITHFUL READERS: THIS POST WILL BE UTTERLY INCOMPREHENSIBLE TO WELL-ADJUSTED PERSONS
FURTHER WARNING: PHLEGM IS MENTIONED IN THIS POST
I was passing the time earlier this week coughing hoarsely, skulling paracetomol and worrying about exams and half marathons, as you do. All at once I said to myself, LBTEPA I said, what would the world be like if
- I got severe viral laryngitis too much fun, I can't even begin to describe it, and such a fun word to say, although I can't actually say it - oh the irony! NOT because I'm careless and lazy and drink too much, but because there are a lot of fearsome bugs going around our office and Noddie's school?
- and what if I was off colour for two weeks beforehand NOT because I'm always getting sick, but because I'm quite healthy and strong and it takes a really fearsome bug to topple me?
What would happen if I challenged this unhelpful and inaccurate belief that I get sick because I'm weak and incompetent? What if I understand that getting sick isn't my fault? What if I take the credit for my health-enhancing behaviours instead of blaming myself for not being bullet-proof?
Oooooh! Now there's a thought. Thanks, A.T.B. You're the best.
My five faithful readers will be happy to know that following this train of thought has resulted in my feeling better already, despite the fact that I'm wildly jealous of the Spousal Unit coughing up quantities of yellow (bacterial) gunk, not green (viral) like mine, so he gets antibiotics and I don't so I just have to suffer. DON'T SAY YOU WEREN'T WARNED.
Then I asked myself another question. I said to myself, LBTEPA I said, what do you need?
The answer popped into my head at once: I NEED A WIN.
But what is a win? What would a win look like?
A win would be making a plan, any plan, and sticking to it. That would be a win and that would make me feel happy.
Why would that make you happy?
I'd feel less at the mercy of hormones and genetics and viruses. I'd know for sure again that I can do things.
Aha! LBTEPA looks about, startled, as the booming voice of a famous mid-20th-century psychologist echoes through the room. What you want, LBTEPA, is self-efficacy!
Albert, my friend, you are right. I do. So I made a chart (insert short pause while my five faithful readers feign surprise) . If I drink 5 glasses of water, refrain from the 4pm-6pm scoff-fest and go alcohol free for five consecutive days then I get 15 little smiley stars, a big proud grin and some momentum to make other changes. Bring. It. On. I have to go and have a sleep now before I pick up Noddie from school. She's been home with croup most of the week, poor little lambie. Stay tuned, though - the next post could well be about how rediscovering crochet changed my life.
More anon, improvement-seekers!

Friday, May 22, 2009

SS, DD

Nothing to see here ladies and gentlemen. Move along please. There's only the usual stuff going on, and nothing new to say about it except that my last bleat-fest has helped me unclench my teeth somewhat. Thanks for being so nice about it. You guys are lovely.
The Official Attitude du jour at Chateau LBTEPA is as follows: I'm doing my best. What happens, happens.
So what is happening?
- exams in four weeks? Tick!
- behind with uni reading? Tick!
- half-marathons in five and six weeks? Tick!
- everlasting headcold, along with everyone else in our office and at Noddie's school? Tick!
- not ticking all the training boxes on The Chart? Tick!
- eating and drinking more than is perhaps wise considering the above? Tick!
- deciding that for the moment worrying about my diet is a bit pointless and I should just relax about carting excess lard around? Tick!
- restricting housework to essentials such as clothes washing, cooking and wiping the bathroom so we don't get horrible diseases? Tick!
BTW I was at a school thing today and Noddie's teacher mentioned Noddie's impressive vocabulary. Suddenly I felt better about doing my nut about the messy house the other day and Noddie piping up "Mummy, what's squalor"? She also knows that scurvy is a disease she will get if she doesn't eat her veggies; in addition, Mummy will have to go on a six-thirty "current affairs" show and will never be able to show her face in the suburb again.
- all cranky, all the time? Stick to what you're good at, I say! Tick!
- counting my blessings? Tick!
More anon, seekers of cheerfulness. Look! cheerful food! Mmmmmmmmm!

Friday, May 15, 2009

Mustn't grumble

....therefore I have nothing to say.

There's nothing serious going wrong. Assignment #3 has been handed in. I was happy with it, and satisfied because I didn't know I could work so hard for so long. Now there's only weekly readings and exam preparation to do. Nice.
I'm just feeling run down and headcold-y and lardy and underdone and a big fat undisciplined loser. These things happen.
The biggest struggle I am having with my 'gotta be perfect' self is that I will be racing underdone in June and July Yes, yes, yes, I know I should be used to that by now. And I know these runs are a week apart. It may seem like a stupid idea, but when the wheels started to fall off the training/sensible eating wagon and a Gold Coast PB looked less and less likely, I thought, why not do them both? Don't get all logical on me. I had a good time last year at Run Melbourne, and the Half medals are really nice!
But now as I scoff echinacea and thank the GSD for saline sinus spray, every unticked box on my chart reproaches me. Well-adjusted LBTEPA (I don't know if you've met her; she's not about that much) reminds me that under the working-and-studying-wife-and-prep-mum circumstances I should be celebrating the ticks I do manage! Clearly some part of me thinks I should be perfect and do it all, all at once, with immaculate nails, single-digit body fat and a charming grin. I thought I'd given up being stupidly hard on myself. Must. Try. Harder. (hahaha at recovered perfectionist joke, geddit?).
The Spousal Unit reckons I find having just one worry (eg exams) much more worrying than having several (eg exams and back to back half marathons). Hmmmm.
Listen to me, self-critical LBTEPA: you WILL have a good time. You WILL finish. You WILL get bling.
You haven't trained as much as you wanted, you're eating and drinking a bit unwisely and you aren't the weight you'd like to be. What's new? You have a headcold. So? What happens, happens. We are not having a repeat of last winter's self-flagellating bleatfest. Life is good. You have many blessings. Have these feelings of doubt and fear and worthlessness, if you must, but hugging them to you will not make you any lighter or faster or fitter. Have them, and then LET THEM GO. Cheer the f#$% up.
More anon, darls. Slap a smile on your dial and sing it with me!

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Happy Mother's Day

Dear Mum
Thanks for coming on the walk this morning. I hope we can celebrate Mother's Day with fresh air, exercise, and cool race bling for many more years.
If I can be half as inspiring to Noddie as you are to me, she'll be lucky.Happy Mother's Day.

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Onward!

One monster assigmnent has hit the psych department inbox; one more to go, only one, just one more... I can keep this up...I CAN. Who needs sleep or daylight anyway?
You know those runs you have when you're just floating along, all balanced and happy and it all feels almost effortless? Yesterday's run was NOT one of them. "Lumbering" is the most apt simile to my progress that I can generate. I seem to be getting slower and slower. Sigh. Still, it was a nice big tick on my chart - and seeing as I have Things To Do in seven weeks, eight weeks and twenty weeks, the more of those cheery little beggars I get the better, no?
Mum and Noddie and I will celebrae Mothers' Day in Ballarat this year with a walk around the lake with my sister-in-law. My nephew is ten months old so it's her first MD.Note To Self: speak to brother so he does the Right Thing ie spoils her ROTTEN.
Further Note To Self: have brother mention this to Spousal Unit.

Ok *takes deep breath* just one more hour of study today, then I can hop on my bike trainer and see if Paula Radcliffe can win the New York marathon again before I pick up Noddie from after-school care.

Sunday, May 03, 2009

Ruminations

I am NOT feeling overwhelmed, stupid, slow or fearful about the two 2,000 word assignments I have to pull out of the air by Wednesday week (and let's not even mention the amount of exercise I am not doing and how soon I have two half marathons to do), no no no nononooooo I AM NOT.
I am DETERMINED, yes, determined, that's the ticket! And DILIGENT. And ORGANISED. Yes. I even have a chart. It's come to that.
More anon, ploughers-through!

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Bliss

There are two unmistakeable smells that instantly fill me with calm happiness: indoor swimming pools and big university libraries. Bliss.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Speed blogging

righto, I have twelve minutes before I must plunge back into considerations of compliance to treatment regimes. It's fascinating stuff and I feel as though I'm finally on a bit of a roll with study - zooming into the study of an evening to look up just one more article (I can stop any time I want to, no really) is feeling like a constructive activity rather than a burdensome PITA*. Noddie and the Spousal Unit are watching Charlotte's Web as I'm working. We borrowed it from the library and I think it'll be the perfect wind-down after the birthday party they've been at all afternoon Another benefit of study - don't think I wasn't glad to have an impressive and sympathy-inducing excuse to stay home!
The news: my friend's sister's funeral was lovely, and as awful as you can imagine a sendoff for a twenty-year-old dead of leukaemia would be. Today would have been her twenty-first birthday. My heart aches for them.
Work: I love my job. It's difficult and intense and sometimes quite draining, and it affirms that all this time and money I've devoted to uni has been the Right Thing.
Uni: we have our on-campus school this week and I'm apprehensive - of meeting a whole group of new people, and of being the least prepared. But it's going to happen whether I am scared or not and as I frequently say to Noddie, you can choose how you think about things, and I don't know why you would choose to do something that makes you unhappy. The poor child. So I'm looking forward to it!
Four minutes left, eek! Better make it pertinent!
Training: nine weeks until the Gold Coast half marathon. My number is H1065, and Noddie's number in the Junior Dash is D0034. If all goes well** I'll have at least six 15km+ runs under my belt by then and a really good chance at a PB. After missing one by about a minutelast year I'm champing at the bit. I am also hoping to do the Mother's Day run with my dear mama as I have the last five years. The only problem with that is the clash with J's petrolhead Day of Days at DECA in Shapparton. If he wasn't on the club committee I'd merely be ropeable. As it is I'm spitting chips. Has he learned nothing from last year's stubby-holder fiasco? Sheesh.
That took twenty minutes, bad, bad LBTEPA.
More anon, funsters!
*Pain In The Arse
** No injuries, no foul germs from Noddie

Sunday, April 19, 2009

The bare essentials

Must. Study.
Must go to work.
Must spend quality time with Spousal Unit
Must. Study.
Must help Noddie learn to ride her Big Girl bike.
Must make sure there's food and clean clothes and hem Noddie's school pants.
Must. Study.
Must stay connected with dear friends
Must ride ok ok mostly on the trainer in front of the tv. Don't judge me
Must. Study.
Must read Noddie stories and listen to her prayers
Must run. Thinking insane thoughts about next few races. MUST RUN
Must do pushups and physio exercises
Must drink more water and try and come up with some way to curtail after work scoff-fest
Must. Study.
Must freak out about amount of reading and presentation-writing to be done in the next week
Must try and retain some of what I'm reading.
Must remember that I'm busy now because I've had so much FUN this summer!
Must. Study.
Must go to a funeral on Tuesday :(
Must. Study.
Must. Study.
More anon, crazy diamonds!

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Sad

My friend's sister died from leukaemia yesterday. She was 21.
Another friend's dad died on Monday, eight weeks after being diagnosed with bowel cancer.
Chateau LBTEPA is quiet this week. Hug your loved ones, my friends.

Monday, April 13, 2009

I know I should have been at home studying all weekend

.....but life's far too short to miss important things
like a day out with the family, splendid hats, ten to seven on Easter morning, a happy egg hunter, a lovely long run along the river road, my sister's salty sea dog, and wondering if, after all these years of my Dad's insane boat trips, it's too late to mutiny.
More anon, belated knucklers-down!

Thursday, April 09, 2009

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

A cautionary tale

That Bug Was Yuck. It so nice not to be plagued by germs and to feel vaguely capable of donning the runners and heading out. Not that I have yet, but I can now contemplate the prospect as realistic. Maybe tomorrow.
Completely changing the subject: are you the bill-payer in your house? Do you sometimes put things off and say, I'll pay that later? And then sometimes forget and get the red bill and say oooh! whoops! and hop onto the internet quicksticks so that the power won't be cut off? Here's a quiz for you, reluctant paper-jugglers: guess which one you really must never never forget to pay. No idea? Well, boys and girls, let the voice of Bitter Experience give you the good oil: The dog registration.
Neglect it at your peril. Yes, that innocuous little green one from the council there, lurking in your to-do pile minding its own business, politely coughing from time to time so it moves higher up the stack, and then slipping down again because...well because I'm vague and hopeless, ok?
DO NOT FORGET TO PAY THIS BILL.
Otherwise, on the day you are too ill to lift your head off the pillow to let your dogs in, there will be a severe thunderstorm and they will get out, and because you didn't pay their registration they will be taken to the lost dogs' home on the other side of the city even though they were caught two streets away from your house (and they are microchipped, so the nice kind animal control officer lady can let you know and nearly make you cry because she is so nice and you feel so sick and so stupid) and you will have to drive across the city next morning to ransom them even though you still feel like death warmed up and you will be up for nearly a thousand dollars (stupid owner fine + careless owner fine + forgetful owner fine, times two). I have a medical certificate so I may be able to have the careless owner fine waived, but it's still a lot of shoe money. Sigh.
I have decided that my function in life is to be a Warning To Others.
But then again.... J and I were recalling how seven or eight years ago when we were massively broke this would have been an absolute gut-wrenching financial disaster, whereas now it's 'merely' a monumental pain in the arse.
More anon, puppy parents
An hour later: AND NOW VIC ROADS IS SAYING WE HAVEN'T REGISTERED OUR CAR??? WTF???
K-Rudd could have just kept his free money and saved himself the stamp

Friday, April 03, 2009

Oh well

Underdone I'll have a crack at pretty much anything, as you know, but underdone plus acute viral gastroenteritis (thanks a lot, Noddie, and your germy little mates)? Sorry Geelong, see you next year. You were a treat to finish the season, not my A race. Don't be offended.
More anon, seers of the big picture!

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

It's raining fabulousness

OMG OMG OMG I am just about incoherent with excitement! This evening I will be basking in a glow of fabulousness as I dine with the creme de la creme of Melbourne Blogger Royalty! Adding further lustre to the occasion - if that's possible - will be International Blogging Superstar, enthusiastic embracer of life and all-round hilarious chick Dietgirl! Ooooh!!!
*fans self*
I didn't know whether I could make it tonight because the Spousal Unit's shifts are so tiresomely erratic at the moment, and we are hosting our church's Lent study group at our house this year etc etc etc and and and...so complicated...but it's all fallen into place and I'll be there!
Now whatever shall I wear? These girls can dress.
I'm so excited about this, and so in love with my new car did I tell you I had a new car? Oh, I did? Would you like to hear more? that it's almost blotting out the full-body aches from Noddie's latest share-it-around phlegmfest, which if they don't go away will make Sunday's tri a bit of a pain, as it were oh dear oh dear oh dear...... but I'm sure they will. Drugs are good these days
More anon, incurable optimists!

Monday, March 30, 2009

Tempo

Just lately, life has been running at tempo rather than the adagio pace I prefer. I don't mind it, which is good because now that uni is in full swing and I persist in persisting with my mad endurance sport hobby, things won't be slowing down any time soon. I do prefer more pauses in a day, and less housework after dinner, oh well. Despite the volume and intensity, Masters-level study is great - after all those years of theory theory theory it's finally super-practical and relevant. I can picture myself doing this stuff!
I had the best day yesterday. I slept in a bit then went for a run, zoomed into the shower then off to church, then had lunch and a nap then spent the afternoon on the front step in the sun drinking tea and reading 50 marathons in 50 days that I got for my birthday. Of course now that means my 'study breaks' today will be spent washing dishes and stuffing washing in the machine and hauling it out to the line and back in again before the idiot dogs chew it. These things happen.
Exciting news - my darling peugeot hatch has finally reached the beyond-practicable-to-repair stage, so I've bought a (sort-of) new car! It's a 2007 Renault (another French car, what was I thinking?) with under 20k on the clock, much better than we thought we'd do with our budget. It's a snazzy pale gold colour called champagne, which is very apt for me *beams* I'll pick it up on Tuesday night. I can't actually picture myself in a sedan, and the soft clutch will take a bit of getting used to after driving a sports setup for so long, but I'm sure I'll manage LOL.
In other good news, the Grand Prix is over and the footy season has started, rather well as it happens. There's one more race this weekend to wrap up the triathlon season, which will be good fun if the weather holds. Then I can start to get my breath back!

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Rejoice

Sorry if this is a bit garbled but I'm going to be super busy this week & most likely won't have time to post. I just wanted to make sure I always remember how happy I feel at this moment.
Today's race, with its decent swim, good bike and fairly tragic run, was brought to you by this quote from John 'the Penguin' Bingham's book The Courage to Start:
"we need to spend less time worrying about doing things well and more time rejoicing that we are doing them at all."
Ten years ago I walked with a cane and hoped I'd get better from from chronic fatigue syndrome if I didn't give up. My friend A still struggles to recovery from CF. Two years ago I'd just trashed my ankle and didn't know I was facing a reconstruction. My friend M would have loved to be out there today but can't race this season for medical reasons. I kept thinking of these things today, and of a comment Nancy once made: this is a get to do, not a have to do. I get to do triathlons with my strong healthy body, and you can't wipe the grin off my face.
Today I got third place - out of four!! (I hope your knee gets better soon, Jill) - and took out the series Athena championship. So far this season I've done six sprint triathlons, two Olympic distances and two ocean swims. It's been one of the best summers of my life! Special thanks are of course due to the Spousal Unit and Noddie for being the best cheer squad a woman could wish for *mwah*
Take it from me, kids: never, ever underestimate the power of optimism, perseverance and good friends.
Life is wonderful
So are good people. So is swag!(click and have a look - mine is red!)
More anon, blessing-counters!
And bring on Geelong!

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Letting it go

Category leaders in the triathlon series I am doing have been invited to participate in their own wave, immediately following the elites. I am the leading Athena (70kg+ women. The male equivalent is Clydesdale, 95kg+) because I have raced more times than anyone else. My 40-point lead comes from gutting out two duathlons (yuck) on my own in the rain. Let's be honest here - I am big, and strong and determined, and I Am Slow. The thought of lining up with the skinnyfasts makes my stomach churn. Last summer I copped a huge amount of stick on a tri forum for campaigning that the Athena category should be included, or indeed that it should even exist. Anonymous, venomous nastiness about my weight and my fitness and my character. I know it came from a tiny minority and most triathletes a) are very encouraging or b) couldn't care less, but there have been times when the echoes of that hatefulness have made my hands sweat. I haven't let that experience stop me racing and I don't know why I am so apprehensive now.
Ok I do.
I'm afraid of scorn and judgement and people thinking that I don't belong on the course or deserve my podium. I'm afraid of what other people think. I'm afraid I don't deserve it.
Did I just write that?
Crikey.
*thoughtful pause*
You know what? It's easy to say (as J has, bless him) that I shouldn't worry about what other people think, and that the opinions of strangers don't matter. It is true, but it's not so easy to do.
However, we here at Chez LBTEPA are all about Doing the Hard Things and also Utterly Gratuitous Capital Letters.
All that #$% happened more than a year ago. It's been in my head for too long. As of now I'm officially Over It. I Hereby Let It Go.
* visualising screwed-up bits of paper with mean writing on it, floating out of sight on the wind* I'll be lining up in the series leader wave on Sunday. I earned my points and my podium and my prize and I'll be taking them. So there.

More anon, goddesses!
BTW, I don't think I am fat. I am happy about my body and what it can do. I am LBTEPA and I am fabulous

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Race report: Victorian Olympic distance championships

1.5km/40km/10km
3.28.20
Rating: Very Pleased

There were many possible titles for this post
- it's better to fear pain than to fear failure
- training is cheating
- you call THEM jellyfish?
- enjoy every minute
- expletive deleted hills (I need more gears)
- the great sock disaster of 2009
- you’ll have to work harder than that to beat me!
- It’s not meant to be fun

Worry about the training I haven’t done this summer kind of hummed underneath everything during the week before the Victorian Olympic distance tri championships. The trouble was, I knew I could finish anyway – it was just a matter of how slow would I be and much would it hurt. This time last year I didn’t know that. Is it better to fear pain than to fear failure? Conclusion: yes.
I enjoyed the pre-race carbo dinner more than I did last year – for a start, the guest speaker was hilarious! Everyone was teeny and lean and scary looking (yes, I have issues! You knew that!) but I hugged memories of my two previous Olympic distance races tightly and they warmed me a little bit against the cold fear and doubt. Later that night, though, I was just about hyperventilating with terror. On the way in the door I said to Mum that I couldn’t do it, it was too hard, I was too old, too slow, too fat, too lazy and triathlon was a stupid sport anyway. She, bless her, just offered me an alarm clock so I wouldn’t sleep in. The Spousal Unit asked me why I did it at all if it was so awful? Wasn’t it supposed to be fun? I didn’t have an answer for him then but I worked it out next day. More on that later.
You have to walk along the river to the swim start. On the way I got chatting to a lovely bloke about how as a spouse, parent, student, employee AND triathlete, we have to deal with racing when our other priorities have meant that we haven’t done ‘enough’. While we strolled along, this obviously highly intelligent bloke made a Very Good Point, viz: EPO and other performance enhancing drugs are cheating because they give some people an unfair advantage. Training enhances performance too. Therefore people who train a lot are actually cheating. Fair play is important to me so I felt much better at once.
We slid into the cool brown river hmmmmahhhhh so nice…..A few la-las were making a fuss about the small number of teeny tiny non-stinging jellyfish floating about. As my five faithful readers will recall, I am oblivious to anything less than shoals of the creatures the size of my thigh so I sniggered to myself and enjoyed the last few moments before It Was On. It’s always hard to concentrate on working hard in the swim when there’s plenty of room and the surroundings are beautiful but I did my best and put it away in 26.49. Noddie and Mum were having a lovely time yelling and cheering me on. I decided not to wear socks during the ride – but then I was just about to get Minerva off the rack and realised I hadn’t put my shoes on either! Major DOH! There’s a reasonably steep rise at the beginning of the ride which is a good ‘get your head into it’ start. After that, before theHill Of Doom, there’s a stretch of quite rough bitumen which is a bit disheartening to the easily disheartened, i.e. moi. Luckily I’ve learned that disheartened = agitated = A Bad Time in more than one sense. My five faithful readers knowthat I am quite adept at conjuring Cheer The Heck Up for Goodness’ sake strategies out of thin air – but my friends, my friends! Sunday’s was the best ever. Want to know my secret to a good race? Shal I tell you? All right then…...I decided to enjoy every minute.
Yes.
It was that simple.
Enjoying every minute meant I never fell into the complaining/despair death-spiral. Enjoying every minute kept me from focussing on my quads and my glutes and, um, how can I put this? how much I’d have appreciated waterproof chamois butter ow ow ow and how everyone I’d beaten out of the water whizzed past me on the Hill of Doom as though we were in some weird time-slip sci-fi movie. If I may digress, though, this year the elites didn’t lap me until the 17km mark, a pleasing improvement on last year *beams*. Enjoying every minute also meant that I had about fifty seconds every minute left over to bitch and complain and moan. Perfect! Then I’d chortle at how hilarious I was, and keep riding.
It’s really hard to explain what it’s like in my head during an endurance event. It’s as though there are two LBTEPAs. The first is grit-her-teeth competitive, concentrating on technique and form and breathing and nutrition and Going Hard. The second is happily vague, oblivious to weather and hurt and shortness of breath, looking at the scenery and generally having a lovely time. In shorter races the former tends to dominate, but in longer events I am learning to almost retreat to that happy place and let Keen LBTEPA do her thing. Nuffy LBTEPA’s most important job during the ride is, of course, to Not Think About the Run. There’s a little pinch hill (aka short steep leg-burner mofo) right before you get back into town. Last year I slogged up it. This year I got up out of the saddle – yes, you read correctly! – and powered up it! On both loops! *pause for wild applause*
Another digression: after the race, my dad (a very good cyclist) looked at Minerva and did a double take. How did you get around there with only that many gears? You need more gears! Once I recovered from the (sort of) compliment, I passed this on to the Spousal Unit. I believe the Mothers’ Day present fairy is on the job.
Alas, it is now time to recount the great Sock Disater of 2009. I brought the Wrong Socks. They look very like my Good Racing Socks, which was how they were able to deceitfully pass themselves off as their brethren, but they are a bit too big. They don’t go on quickly, especially when you’re in a hurry and your hands are shaking a bit. If stuffed on in a hurry, the right one bunches up under your toes. Yes, my five faithful readers, you do well to gasp in horror. They bunch up. The day was warming up, my feet were already a bit damp, I had 10km to gut out and there would be a Krakatoa of a blister on the ball of my foot if this pedalian saboteur was not sorted out. I tried to wriggle it back into place as I ran but that didn’t work. There was nothing for it: after a couple of kms I had to stop althogether, untie my shoe and re-adjust my sock. Bugger! Ah well, preparation is part of triathlon. Live and learn, eh?
I met Pete B during this race last year. He’s 65 and a Spartan Legend and razzed me big time about coasting the downhills during the ride. We’ve chatted all summer at various tris and I knew he was racing. I was wondering where he had got to – could he have outswum me? I hadn’t seen him on the road – when, shortly after the sock fiasco had been resolved, he came into sight about 100m behind me. It Was On. Last year he was affected by the heat, but it was much milder today. I knew he’d catch me eventually but by crikey he was going to have to work for it. When he runs, Pete breathes with a distinctive hoo, hoo sound. We were by ourselves on the path along the backwater and I could hear it, getting closer and closer. Bring it on, old man, I grinned to myself, and I ran on. Through the flash housing estate we went. There was nothing but Hoo, hoo, and the slap slap slap slap of our feet on the footpath. I thanked all the marshalls and so did Pete. I was holding grimly to 7min kms, and km by km he was reeling me in. As we turned to run along the river I spoke to the marshall that guy behind me’s name is Pete – tell him he’ll have to work a bit harder to catch me!I never looked back. On and on I ran. It was like a dream. I didn’t want to blow up with 4km still to run and I didn’t want to leave anything in the tank, and I wasn’t quite sure how to manage it. It was beautiful by the river, which was good because I was starting to hurt. Form, balance, breathe….hoo, hoo....aha, here he comes, good on you Pete *grin*. In the distance I could see the swing bridge – and there were Mum and Noddie, screaming encouragement. I was so happy to see them! Pete put on a surge there and passed me just after we crossed it. Two and a half km to go… He took longer than I did at the drink station, and I caught him again. The run course goes past transition, which is rude, then up a very steep footpath, which is even ruder! I walked up it and so did Pete. Two km to go. We ran side by side along the street where my parents live. Mum and Noddie had left us the best surprise outside the house! Side by side we ran, around the corner and past the paddocks, around the next bend. One km to go... and the last hill, a short steep little mind-#$%*er of a thing. I started up it, then cracked. I had no 'vertical' left. I had to walk. A few steps later Pete said a rude word and did the same. Mum told me later she thought we were waiting for each other. We weren’t. It was still So On. It was great. I started to run again and so did he. I wanted to throw up. I wanted him to sprint away so I could cave. I wanted that finish line more than anything I’ve ever wanted in my life. We were laughing (as well as you can with no spare air) as we went around the last corner, side by side. A hundred metres to go, neither of us giving an inch, throwing it all at the line for 126th place. The announcer saw us coming and started yelling like mad; the skinnyfasts sitting on the ground waiting for the presentations cheered and clapped. Could I take Pete? Did I have anything left? Did he? With twenty-five metres to go, somehow, somewhere I found a little bit more… and I was done. 3.28.21. Eight minutes faster than last year, and eight seconds outside my Olympic distance PB. That’ll teach me to bring the right socks. Pete and I hugged ewwww sweaty said Noddie and laughed and thanked each other for a great run. He's a legend in every sense.After trudging up the hill again noooooo! and shouting my faithful Sherpas to fish and chips, I fell like a stone into a deep pool of sleep and it was all over. The whole thing is like a dream now, a dream that makes me smile and walk taller when I think about it.
When I spoke to the Spousal Unit on the phone that evening I had an answer to his question. It's not meant to be fun*. It's meant to be satisfying, in the way that things that take effort and focus and guts are satisfying. And I am satisfied. I took my fears and issues and my not-enough training and my imagination and dreams and heart and I threw them at that race. I did better than I thought I could, and I had a great day - including a lot of fun - with people I love and admire.
I have hung the sign Mum and Noddie made in my study.
More anon, philosophers!

Sunday, March 08, 2009

Bairnsdale Olympic Distance tri: done

After I'd ridden up and down those EXPLETIVE DELETED hills for nearly two hours, I didn't care that Pete is sixty-five and has run every single Melbourne marathon. I was going to make him work hard to beat me into second-last place.Thanks so much Mum and Noddie for being the best Sherpas ever *mwah!*More anon, ardent desirers of a long nap.