Run Melbourne 2010

This could be a real blah blah blah post...
....I didn't really feel like doing this race because I was still tired from Queensland and it was a weekend away from home blah blah blah...
but I had to becuase I'd bought the race t-shirt and you can't wear it if you didn't run it subtext what a legend I am being able to punch out a HM whenever I want (sub-subtext: what a wanker) blah blah blah...
I started ok on a 9:1 run:walk but after 9km I started having persistent knee soreness so I ran one song:walked one song all the way to the end blah blah blah...
but it's not! I'm so glad I went! It was a great day, a really fun course which went around my old stamping grounds, and it seemed every second person was a friend from coolrunning. People really got stuck into having a good time. This bloke was a BIG bit of all right, and very brave, but not too bright as he did the whole thing (half mara) in thongs! (AKA flipflops, for my foreign friends. I have no information regarding his foundation garments)I saw this bloke too, and his matching mates in red and green.OMG my eyes, my eyes....this is Mr Wombat, the beloved of my beloved Mrs Wombat (in costume THANK GOODNESS aarrgghh my eyes...)
I had a great time at the back of the pack. It was a two-loop course, and we passed the 10k runners just before they started; they cheered and clapped and called encouragement, before they zoomed past me like I was tied to a tree. Lots of people read my shirt and spoke to me or patted my shoulder as they zoomed past - so kind and friendly! The maths award goes to a bloke who told me quite seriously that I was 50% tougher than the 10km runners! Well done sir!
It was a huge day - all in all 17,000 people got out there and had fun in the half, the 10 or the 5km. It was cold, but not raining, and gosh it was just a privelege to be there.
My time? Who cares? I suspect it will be a PW by a significant amount, but that wasn't what it was about. This is what it was about.

Team Stupidly Determined (Victorian division)

More anon, suckers-out of the marrow of life!

Highlights package

My new medal - did I mention I have a new medal? I do! I did a marathon to get it and it's grouse! - has worn a groove in my neck and been shown to everyone foolish enough to ask how I went and too slow to escape once I get started. As the layers of memory of the day have sorted themselves into an enduring recollection, little snippets of oh-wow-wasn't-that-a-cool-thing! have popped up and sparkled at me, making me smile and smile.
In no particular order, here they are
- the elites flying by. They are so amazing, like another species!
- the frail, white-haired old lady on her balcony playing Chariots of Fire on her boombox for us
- all the little kids, so thrilled to get high fives from a runner (any runner, even me!)
- seeing the Spousal Unit and Noddie at 32km. I'd been kind of looking forward to seeing them outside our apartment at 27km, and when they weren't there I thought they were probably a bit tired from doing the 5km (WELL DONE S.U. AND N!!) and I'd see them at the finish. I trundled on, almost to the finish (not my finish, the real finish, I had to RUN PAST IT and do another 12km) and there they were! If I hadn't done all my crying a few kms back I'd have wept on J's shoulder. It's a bit lonely out there at the back when things are a bit tough; just getting that reminder that there are people out there who love you and are cheering for you is like a sudden blaze of sunshine on a grey day.
- cheering the Coolrunners coming back the other way and getting a go CoolRunner! in return
- the cameraderie at the back of the pack. We leapfrog each other, pass and re-pass and worry when we see our mates slow or lying on the grass. Yay for Narelle the last official finisher - you toughed it out darl!
- asking the already-finished people walking back to their hotels and pools and showers and couches please can I see your medal? Without fail they showed it to me and told me you can do it, keep going, your medal is waiting for you
- the volunteers at the aid stations, road closures and checkpoints. Some dressed up in flowers or wigs or other craziness, some didn't, but all were just so splendidly encouraging and kind. Even the ones who put the Endura and the water in the wrong colour cups - this wouldn't have been such an issue if I hadn't tipped it over my head!
- the mighty Emma and her adorable husband R who appeared like djinns out of nowhere on the corner of a road in the mankiest, most desolate stretch of the last 10km.
- the runner dressed as Mt Fuji. How hot s/he must have been!
- the bride and groom who ran the race in wedding outfits as part of their honeymoon. They were quoted in the local paper as saying 'the marathon is long, just as our life together will be'. Bravo and hear hear!
-the little old bloke in the thick tracksuit and the hat with the dear little dog.
- the vision-impaired runners with their guides
- zooming around each turnaround with my arms outstretched like an aeroplane. It's important to celebrate these things!
- the mad Philipino (?) bloke who galloped up and down the back end of the field cheering us all on. I couldn't keep up with him, he tried to make me but I just had nothing left. He was like an adorable, whistle-blowing, bell-ringing, super-talkative guardian angel for us all down there at the back.
- the bloke with the ghastly, ghastly rap music at the 35-6ish mark. I wanted to KILL HIM - hadn't I been through enough? What had I ever done to him? Then the song 'if you're going through hell, keep on going' came on the 1p0d and I couldn't help but laugh.
- the other bloke at the 35km checkpoint telling me I was looking good and don't worry, you're 15 minutes ahead of the cutoff, you'll be fine. Although the video shows me waving in a perfunctory fashion (it was meant to be pleasant!) and grunting acknowldgement (I thought I was smiling!) I was so grateful I could have kissed him.
- if Noddie, the Spousal Unit and the Mad Philipino bloke were angels and Emma and R were genies, then Dizzey was a blessing from heaven. She appeared with 5km to go and trundled along with me, running and walking, running and walking, lamp post to lamp post. Becuase she was there, the no really this is too far and it's been going on too long, I can't run any more imp that was trying to get a grip on my shoulder just had to f#$% off. Team LBTEPA was throwing it all at the line. Thanks for my PB Dizzey!
- I know I mentioned this in the last post, but getting into the finishers' chute was like going to heaven. There is nothing, nothing like knowing you've Done It.
- so many people at the afterparty thanking me for organising it and giving them the chance to connect with other CRs, sometimes for the first time. I am so lucky to know so many lovely people.
- my racing stripe! After running six hours in the warm northern sun, my lily white Victorian legs sported a shorts line that made me smile every time I saw it - on myself, or the other people who were taking the stairs at the waterslide park quite gingerly too!
So there you go.
Now it's almost two weeks later. My medal is in my pocket. Did I mention I did another marathon and got a new medal? This afternoon I'll be driving to Melbourne to stay with the magnificent Mrs Wombat, then tomorrow we're trundling around the Run Melbourne half marathon, because the bling is nice. That's pretty funny really. Stupid Determination rules!!
More anon, partners-in-fabulousness!

Staring down 42.2

Sheesh, you people - no pressure! But leaning forward confidentially I need to tell you something - it's only now, nine days later, I've felt that I could write a race report that didn't sound like a whole lot of whingeing and excuses. It took me this long to realise that it just was how it was. I have waded through my issues and am not buying into this whole feeling-bad-about-myself-because-I'm-not-perfect crap. I am old and fat and slow and I am a Very Slow marathon runner. This is how it was.
Pre-race
I had a bit of an inkling I wasn't totally on top of my game wellness-wise when I woke up on Thursday with a cold sore. Ewwww. Can anyone say 'run down?' Noddie doesn't sleep too well when Daddy is away so I hadn't had much uninterrupted sleep since Wednesday, but we got to Melbourne happily enough, then aarrgghh went to the in-laws aaarrrggghhh for dinner aarrgghh and to stay the night aarrgghh. I sat in the living room away from the footy, doing my race nails and sticking inspiring quotes on my gels. I couldn't think of many. Song titles - defying gravity, paid my dues; friends' names; sayings sent to me by you, my five faithful readers. I came up with 'it's a pleasure and a privelege', but I didn't use that one. Noddie only woke us twice.
Our plane on Saturday was delayed for an hour which was a bit of a worry - hello worst nightmare, being delayed so long we couldn't pick up our race packets! - but turned out ok. We did get there on time, and I got to catch up with my good CR friend Dizzey while we were waiting. She had planned to do GC as her first full marathon but had a whole lot of family/life stuff happen and pulled out. We were talking about our preparation; when I said my last long run had been 4 weeks ago she winced and looked away. I was still coughing like a seal with a pack-a-day habit and getting a bit desperate about my bastard sinuses. I told J after the race that I knew better than to hope for a whole marathon training program uninterrupted by illness, but I would like to actually bloody run one when I wasn't sick! It was all shaping up so well hahahahaha, but during the conversation with D, I at last found my One Thing, my reason, my mantra: STARE DOWN 42.2km.
We got to the expo in time and picked up our race packs, then spent the GDP of a small country on chest-and-sinus clearing medicine, on the advice of a charming and clearly very wise pharmacist (she was running the half). After a quick dip in the spa at our apartment it was time to catch up with Team Stupidly Determined at the CoolRunning pre-race do. To be honest I didn't really want to go but I'd organised it so I really had to. Using Noddie as an excuse, we didn't stay late. I was so scared I could hardly eat, and people kept saying don't worry, you'll be fiiiine. Don't worry? DON'T WORRY? Only the mighty Emma told it like it was: it'll hurt a lot for a long time, but you'll finish. A couple of annoying skinnyfasts kept faffing on that there were no hills on the course. We told them we had a lot more gravity to deal with than they did; we would decide what was a hill, thanks.
Sunday morning . Race day. Dun dun dun duhhh. I sat up the back among the walkers and the first-timers, just waiting. It was a beautiful morning. 1-18km - not so bad. I need to learn to go out slower...yes, that is possible.
19-24km - The drugs wore off. For half an hour or so I started coughing more frequently and my head was aching more and more.
You know what...I'm finding it hard to bring myself to go back there, I really am. Bloody hell it was hard. I think I'll just cut-and-paste my post from the running forum I belong to.

"Although I took a really long time - 6.16.58 - my race report can be quite brief. 'I was undertrained and off colour. I ran/walked 4:1 until my head ached and I coughed so much I vomited, cried, then walked, then took some medicine, then H'ed TFU and ran/walked every other lamp post for 15km'. Sounds a bit pathetic. Oh well, it was what it was and if anything I proved a worthy member of team Stupidly Determined.
In a way though, it was a good day and an important day b/c I stared down 42.2km and didn't give up.Highlights were cheering the CRs going the other way, seeing the Spousal Unit and Noddie at 32km, the Mighty Emma and her husband a few km later, and the wonderful Dizzey, who stuck with me over the last 5km. The support for us back of the packers is so lovely, it really keeps you going so thanks to everyone who cheered me on and told me I could make it.

I was just happy to finish under the cutoff, hop into the pool at the hotel then wobble back to the Surf Club to celebrate (addendum: and, after numerous restorative sherbies, remark repeatedly and with astonishment that I am So F#$%ing Brave I Can't Believe It. Thanks to all present for not telling me to Shut the F#$% Up. I'd had a Big Day. You were very kind). On the principle that you value most the things that were hardest to acquire, my second marathon finishers' medal will always be one of my proudest posessions (btw, how nice is the bling this year? Well done, organisers!). Team SD does Gold Coast 2010
I wish I hadn't watched the race videos though, nothing like illusions shattered, I don't look like Paula Radcliffe at all . "
THE END

My race was ruled by the thought pain is inevitable: suffering is optional. That made things simpler, if not any easier. It was hard, it was difficult, it was painful. But I couldn't with any truthfulness call it awful, or horrible. I could say with accuracy that it hurt, but thinking this sucks, I hate this was a choice. Dammit. Because I knew that, I couldn't go there, no matter how much i hurt or how tired I was. It never crossed my mind to give up. There was simply no reason to stop. That thought saved me from the despair death spiral. I owe my medal -which I am of course still wearing - to that thought.
Why did it not even cross my mind to DNS or drop back to the half? My options were finish under the cutoff (preferred), be dragged off the course (seemed likely at one stage, hurrah for medicine!), or be pulled off the course by the sag wagon. Every time I saw that b#$%$# van I told it to f#$% off, under my breath of course, I've been well brought up. I was NOT going to shave 4-5km off the course like a bloke I passed twice, but who never passed me. You work it out. I saw him later with a finisher's shirt talking about how he was worried about making the cutoff. Shame on you sir!

Here's a video of my oh-so-happy finish. You might want to turn down the sound a bit, the Mighty Emma is Very Excited. Being in the finishing chute - at last! - meant I no longer had to fiercely restrict my thinking to Just Keep Moving. I could finally, finally entertain the sweet sweet thoughts that I was going to finish, and that I could stop. You bet your sweet bippy I was pleased.

The Spousal Unit asked why I do these enormously challenging things. I explained that I need to keep pushing my limits. I need to stare down Hard Things. I find it very interesting to develop mental and physical strategies to Just keep Moving No Matter What, and throw them at race day. There was a pause. Then he said ok, I know why you do it...but why do you want to do it?

Which is the big question. The answer is, because I want to. And that's enough.

And this is enough for today.
More anon, patient ones. Splash on!

It took a long time, but it was a long way

More anon :)

Five steps to glory

Now the Plan is This:
1. Work today. Finish last minute errands, cleaning and final packing. Work until 12.20 tomorrow. Catch the train to Melbourne at 12.40. Thank Mum for bringing Noddie and the bags to the station SHE IS A LEGEND THANKS MUM. Catch a suburban train to the in-laws’ place. Reunite with the Spousal Unit who has been in Melbourne all week for work yep that was SO CONVENIENT and made for a low-stress week NOT. Spend evening at the in-laws without the fortification of alcohol. DO NOT WATCH FOOTY. DO NOT LOOK AT WEATHER REPORT (20 degrees, humid, windy, 20% chance of rain). Do race nails. Sleep.
2. Load up with headcold medicine. Catch plane to Gold Coast. Pick up race packs. Check in to hotel. Dine with Team Stupidly Determined and other CRs. Feel sick with envy at skinnyfasts*, sorry I mean anxiety. Sleep.
3. Start race. Wonder why, I mean think about how lucky I am to be doing this (x 6.5 hours). Enjoy scenery and race day experience. Be patient and calm and hold my form (x 6.5 hours). Adhere STRICTLY to Hydration and Nutrition Strategies ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY HYDRATION AND NUTRITION STRATEGIES! Using previously established decision criteria (ie is cold a) gone b) the same c) worse) select and adhere to Run:walk Strategy A (run first 5km, 4:1 to end), B (4:1 all the way) or C (4:1 until 30km, then 5:5). Keep moving, no matter what (x 6.5 hours).
4. Get medal. Feel indescribably happy. Stand in ocean. Stagger past post-race party venue to get back to hotel whose idea was that? Sleep. Reunite with Team SD. Drink champagne and talk loudly and excitedly about the day. Stagger home to hotel, cunningly selected for its proximity to post-race celebrations I knew there was a reason.
5. Refuse to remove medal or climb any stairs (x 7-10 days).
I know there were only meant to be five, but this is actually why Noddie and the Spousal Unit are coming on the trip!
6. Go to theme parks. See cool animals. Eat fairy floss and hot dogs. Scream on rides. Sleep (x 4 days). Go home.
You can follow me via the race tracker on Sunday, if you are so inclined. The link to the site is on my sidebar and I believe there’ll be a big button to click on the day. My "thorough" approach to the event means you’ll be able to wander off for a cuppa or weed the garden between updates! I’m so considerate!
As my five faithful readers can tell by the above waffling, I’m currently really scared and trying really really hard to be brave, with, alas, limited success. If you were holding back, NOW is the time to send me an encouraging comment. I don’t know what internet access I’ll have for the next week, but I’ll try and stick up a quick post with my time so you’re not worrying too much *pokes out tongue*

More anon, reachers for the stars!
*As for the skinnyfasts, remember this - as I will

What's on my chest

apart from phlegm, but come on, you know you'd be more astonished if I didn't get sick just before a big race. The Dr tells me it's a virus, and my focus needs to be on 'symptom management'. You know what that means? Pain killers. Ibuprofen. I do not touch that stuff as a rule, but this is on medical advice. I knew there'd be a silver lining in here somewhere.
But I digress. My five faithful readers know that LBTEPA is, first and foremost, an uber-fashionista. I'm all about Putting Together A Look. This afternoon I was packing for Queensland next Saturday - don't ask, it's all too head-bangingly complicated - and realised that the whole VSM#2 story was laid out right there on the bed next to my suitcase. A stirring tale of courage, despair and perseverance, in size 14 100% cotton
*wipes eyes, gazes nobly at horizon* ....now, read on....

I get a rush of blood to the head and pay my entry money. Excitement! Optimism!Training starts! It's all good!Runs get longer and longerI get sick again.Time to eat, and make Plans.Plan A: Plan B: 5:59:59 hahahahahaPlan C: make the cutoffThe real reason I do this.More anon, hipsters!

stuff to take with me

So.
Eight days until I toe the line for VSM#2. I'd say I couldn't be more scared but there's a week to go so there's plenty of time for more Freaking Out. But enough about my unstable mental state. I need wisdom from you, my five faithful readers. I'll take five or six gels with me on M-day. I'll write stuff on them to lift me up, help me up and fire me up. What should I write?
So far I have
- one step at a time, one km at a time, one marathon at a time
- I am marvellously made (from psalm 139)
- the finish IS there
- pain is inevitable, suffering is optional
What thoughts lift or fire you up?

next time: why?
More anon, truth-seekers!

JG, PM.

To mark the historic occasion of the swearing-in of Julia Gillard as Australia's first female Prime Minister, I would like to say GO BIG RED!!! WOOF WOOF WOOF!

Four things, not connected

Today is the winter solstice, the shortest day and the longest night. This is one of my favourite days of the year, because it means the light is coming back.
Over the last two weeks I have bought three pairs of pants that are far too big. I haven't dropped any weight or cms. I just - repeatedly - chose to purchase oversized strides! Whatever can that mean? Do I see myself as taking up too much room?
This last lurgi had better hurry up and bugger off, and take its cough and head gunk with it, because A) I am becoming bored with my bike trainer, despite having lots of lovely ITU World Cup to watch, B) I need to do some running, if only to wear in my new orthotics and C) I plan to run for 6.5 hours in thirteen days' time.
I'm off to Melbourne tomorrow night for the last exam of the semester on Wednesday. I'm hoping to hit the Saucony outlet afterward for some more shoes. New shoes....mmmmm....

Germ warfare

The scene: a war room. There are maps and charts everywhere. Uniformed minions bustle in and out. The phone rings constantly.
Yucky Germ bustles in.
YG: Roll call!
Horrid Lurgi: Here!
Disgusting Infection: Here!
Unmentionable-in-mixed-company: Here!
YG: no need to shout, UIMC. You made LBTEPA's life absolute hell for a week, for sure, but she's over you now.
UIMC: mutters unintelligibly
YG: no need to sulk either, sheesh you're touchy. Now, progress reports please.
HL: Well, I clogged up her head and made her feel all weird and tired for a week or so.
YG: how did that go?
HL: what can I say? She kept running! And working out! And staying cheerful most of the time!
DI: and I didn't do so well either
YG: I thought you did a mightly job! Antibiotics and everything!
DI (sighs deeply) well yes, and they certainly helped UIMC out...but we didn't stop her! She didn't give up!
YG: you did a MIGHTY job UIMC. Really knocked her for six
UIMC: thanks. I do my best. It didn't stop her for long though (frowns). She got all sad for a few days, but took care of herself and got better. What have you been up to, YG?
YG: stuffy head, sore throat, headache. Slowed her right down.
All: but....?
YG: blah blah blah resting a bit, working out when she can. Staying positive. Apart from a bit of comfort eating and drinking, we're just not getting through to her!
All: (deep sigh)
DI:Where's Annoying Chick Stuff?
HL: off being unpredictable with Cramps, Bloating and Cravings. They're trying their best to mess with LBTEPA's head. It's not working though.
All: What do we have to do to stop this woman? She gives in sometimes, but she never gives up!
YG: I reckon we back off for the moment. We've done what we could. Let her have the Gold Coast. Let's meet again in August, eight weeks before Melbourne.
HL and DI: oooh you are a devil YG! Perfect! See you then!
UIMC: mutters unintelligibly
(the group leaves the room)
More anon, germinators!!

Stop Start Keep On

Between now and M-Day:
Stop
- whingeing so much on my blog. Bleating out loud is helpful to me on some levels - if it's written down it's not in my head - I sleep really well - but sometimes it gets out of hand.

Update: Thanks Kathryn - you are so right! I need to bleat to get big scary sh*t done, and I will bleat!
- doubting myself so much. I will finish this thing under the time limit. I'll get the slow and steady run I've earned. The amount of training I've done isn't a reflection of my character. It might be a reflection of my commitment to this marathon, but in a way that's a good thing. I have taken on a lot of rewarding challenges this year, and my family is my priority. The GCM isn't even third on the totem pole at the moment. Melbourne, however.....a different story.
- thinking about how much it will hurt, 'cause there's nothing I can do about that. Frank Shorter, the American champion, said "You have to forget your last marathon before you try another. Your mind can't know what's coming." Project Amnesia here we come. Start
- getting comfortable with my goals. I need to sit with the part of me that is ashamed of being so slow and pat her hand and tell her it's ok. No-one I care about is laughing at me. People probably do feel sorry for me but I have to deal with that. As the Spousal Unit pointed out, if you need to be good at a sport to enjoy it, you've got the wrong hobby.
-remembering how much I have put in. I'd have liked more long runs, but my mid-week runs and cross-training have been consistent. Many of my long runs have been excellent training for getting through a bad day.
- having faith in how good I am at just keeping on going. Apart from Mrs Wombat and the mighty Emma I suck it up better than anyone I know.
- looking forward to the whole day. I think I'll write a list of all the good things that will happen on 04/07.

Keep On
- being careful with what I eat and drink. Work on being "very careful".
- training 5x week
- resting when I need to, especially since cold season is upon us cough sniffle cough
- seeking support and encouragement from my friends

What to do?

Hi there blogsphere! It's me, Freaking Out LBTEPA!
We've just come back from an utterly fab weekend of recharging in the Big Smoke. Noddie stayed at her nanny and Pa's while J and I spent the night at a flash-o hotel and had a splendid meal at a smart restaurant with charming waiters and quantities of delectable titbits made of duck and roast veges and scallops and beetroot-cured smoked salmon OMG the smoked salmon mmmm......
but I digress.
It's 20 days until the M-word.
Look at the sidebar. The biggest number is 31. This is Not Good Enough. My Original Plan was to crank out 34 tomorrow, starting super early and having J drop Noddie at Mum's for an hour or so after he started work at 11.00. But........
J is working from 7 until 3. Are you with me here? That changes my run window from 6.30-11am to 4-8.30pm. On a public holiday weekend. In the winter. Noddie's bedtime is 7.30pm.
#%*&#$%. #%*&#$%. #%*&#$%.
Next weekend will be too soon before the M-word, and J will be working anyway and I have an exam the following Wednesday. #%*&#$%. #%*&#$%. #%*&#$%.
So at the moment these are the possibilities
1. Do the run tomorrow. Extremely unlikely. Yes I should HTFU but this is 2010, year of LBTEPA with No Backbone.
2 a). Work out every single day between now and then and hope for the best.
2 b). Stop eating and drinking altogether yes I've been having too many 'treats', of course I have (see 1). with the aim of having a few fewer kgs to drag around 42.2km in less than 3 weeks ohdearohdearohdearohdear, although that would involve discipline and refraining from wallowing in self pity (see 1).
3. Panic.

Learned colleagues, I await your opinions.
More anon.

Raspberry fool

My friend the mighty Emma wrote this recently:
"Before I went mad and became a marathoner, I had the great pleasure to chat to Lee Troop about the marathon. His wife was about to make her marathon debut. She had lived with a marathoner for so long, and wanted to know what it meant to run a marathon. Lee said "You think she would have figured it out from knowing me for so long. It's a long way, and it hurts".
I've never seen a better description. It's a long way, and it hurts."
The rest of the post was about how endurance is a double-edged sword. And it is! So complicated! Maintaining health means listening to your body - am I sick? Am I getting very run down and need to rest? Am I so sore that I need an extra rest day to avoid injury?
But maintaining endurance means not listening to your body! Very Slow Marathon training means wall-to-wall mind/body dualism - get up and run, keep going, don't stop, just a little bit further, four more minutes..... if I listened to my body it'd be like living with Father Jack - SLEEP! EAT! DRINK CHAMPAGNE!
So how was Saturday's run, I hear you ask? Bad luck if you didn't, there are 24 days until VSM#2 so it's all marathon all the time around here. I've warned my colleagues: when it comes to polite enquiries about my training, either be prepared to use your containment skills or Don't Ask.
My run was "good". I "enjoyed" it. That's "good" as in my nutrition and hydration went perfectly, apart from a bit of chafing from my new camelback. I've been using Endura gels b/c they a) are Australian made and owned b) don't give me a tummy ache or the sugar shakes and c) they're cheap. I am very tinny. In a huge bit of sad endurance sport tragic news, they have added new flavours to the range! Helloooo raspberry! No more bleah citrus for me, yay!
It was also "good" in that I didn't sit down and cry anywhere (or die). Please note I never said anything about not wanting to - the hills were both sizeable and numerous, and as a Stupidly Determined Larger Runner, gravity hates me. I "enjoyed" the run in that I was happy about my pace, my mental strategies and not feeling compelled to sit down and cry anywhere (or die). And seriously, the Rail Trail is such a gift. It's a fine gravel surface the whole way, gorgeous, gorgeous countryside, farms, forest, mountain vistas.... I even heard bellbirds! And the Big Scary Cows with the Big Scary Horns on the wrong side -the trail side - my side! - of the fence in the middle of nowhere didn't chase me after I sidled nervously past them.
Ice baths are ice baths nonononodon't makemeaarrgghhf***f***f***please canIgetoutNOW?, but I am officially a Huge Fan of compression tights for recovery. I think I might need a new pair........
Something funny just struck me - when I read Emma's post, I thought she calls herself a marathoner. I don't think of myself as 'a marathoner'. Now I've re-read this really slightly obsessed post, I think the evidence is against me! 25 days, people.....
Other grouseness in The Sweet Life of LBTEPA: Oh my but isn't the latest series of Dr Who BRILLIANT? I crochet while I'm watching, and the episodes have been so exciting my tension goes all wrong and I've had to pull bits out!
J is in Melbourne doing training this week so Noddie and I are heading down on the train on Friday afternoon squeals and girly handflaps - we haven't been on a train journey for EVER, then off shopping for new tap shoes and a red teapot, among other fab things ditto, then out with friends to a real Vietnamese restaurant for salt and pepper squid. Thinking about this makes me so happy I could just cry.

More anon, lotus-eaters!

When in doubt....

....put up a sign on the pantry doorspend some money weatherproof your new phone - ooh! It's red! Thanks J!and get out there again.
06:30 tomorrow. 31km. It's on. I'm scared.
See you in Bruthen.
More anon, trailblazers!

Reality bites, with even more WTMI

Another trip to the dr, $75 (!?!?!) at the chemist and a day spent alternating between vinegar baths and the armchair closest to the heater and I've finally got the unmentionable-in-mixed-company things that have been making life miserable mostly settled down and had something like a night's sleep. Generally I think it's a great gift to be female, but this week I'd forego lipstick and heels and shave every day in a heartbeat. It's been pointed out to me that this rampaging unmentionable-in-mixed-company may have had something to do with Monday's debacle. Meh.
Strangely enough I had to have another day off training yesterday. I did try a short ride - yes I do need my head read but who among us hasn't been in that frantic OMFG it's only (x days) until (scary event) gotta get something done headspace? This time before Very Slow Marathon #1 I'd already chalked up a 30km and a 33km, then did another 33 and a 35 after that. If all goes well in the next weeks hahahahaha I'll have managed two 27s, one 30km and a 32km. Good thing GCM isn't my A race. It's looking like being a train crash. More anon, expectation-lowerers!

I Cracked (with extra added WTMI)

I cracked like a walnut at the 27km mark of my run. I could not keep going. That's never happened to me before. I felt almost bewildered at how much it was hurting to keep moving, how much nothing helped, none of the mind games, nothing. I don't know why it was a painful come on you can keep going slog from beginning to end - the late start? wrong breakfast? too much giggling at Eurovision last night? still getting over my post-antibiotics yeast infection? I warned you about the WTMI . It was when the nice man on the bike asked me if I was ok because I was lying on the wet grass in the drizzle (almost asleep, as it happened) that I realised the answer to 'how much can I take?' was 'no more'.
So I walked to Mum's and begged a lift home to get warm and try to dry out my phone. A particularly heavy downpour soaked it right through my fuel belt pocket. I think it's dead :(
I had a longer ice bath than usual because my quad cramped and I couldn't get out! I really did have to laugh at that. I don't know what I'll do if race day turns out like this. I have 2 more long runs scheduled; cross your fingers for me, eh?

Saturday night

Noddie is asleep.
The Spousal Unit is out at a work trivia night.
I have a glass of champagne, and Eurovision is on the TV.......
in the next room.
I couldn't do my long run this morning after yet another J's work rostering snafu I tire of these, oh I do.... wiped out my only 4.5 hour anywhere-near-daylight Noddie-free window for the weekend. I'm in my study working on my assignment with the aim of finishing it tomorrow night after J gets home......
so I can get that 31km done on Monday.
Sad.
More anon, one-track minders! I'm printing out this picture to stick up on my study wall. LOVE. IT.

Seriously

My female friends*: what do you like about yourself? Why are you awesome? Make sure you write it in the comments. Details please!
Now the real question: are these things more or less important to your real, full, whole life than than how much you weigh or your (perceived) physical flaws?
more anon, beautiful people!*Blokes are also welcome but I think this is much more likely to be an issue for chicks

Singing in the rain

Yesterday was an Epic HTFU Fail for LBTEPA. It included a very poor night's sleep, Noddie wandering in at 5am, and a big crybaby sookfest forty-five minutes later when the alarm went off along the lines of I caaann't go running, I'm too tiiiired, and now it's raaiinning and if I run after work I won't have time to do the groceries and I have to study sniffle boohoohooo waaahh, (Spousal Unit: there there) (SU and LBTEPA: zzzzzz) oh no it's 7.30 aarrgghh rush rush rush Noddie to school off to work busy day pick Noddie up from aftercare rush to dancing buy groceries eat dinner write assignment zzzzzzzz.
This morning it was still raining. LBTEPA's soggily triumphant H-eningTFU was brought to you by
Tim McGraw
Bonnie Tyler
ELO
AC/DC
and
Gloria Gaynor.
Damn it feels good to have my workout out of the way.

Note to self: remember how much better today felt than yesterday.

Now for another 500 words of my last assignment for the semester. I just found out I got 95 (!!) for my last piece of work so am a bit giddy and lacking focus. I also got some very good news about some consulting work I wanted. Whee!
So distracting! Must. Concentrate.More anon, sporters of fearsome coiffure

Fascinating

There are six weeks until VSM (Very Slow Marathon) #2 so it'll be all marathon all the time here from now on. That's a - I'd say paraphrase, but it's blatant plagiarism of the mighty Emma , whose medal, pictured here, I covet. It's the big one.When I say covet, I don't mean I'll be nipping across the border to her rural fastness and nicking that specific object. I want one of my own. When you think this out clearly, THIS IS INSANE. I'm doing this race in six weeks aaarrgghh and I WILL PROBABLY DIE. I'm willing to run for more than six hours - not counting the 6-8+ hours/week I spend on the road making sure I don't actually die on race day - just for an awesome bit of tinware such as that sported by my lovely teammate in Stupid Determination. Well let me tell you, my five faithful readers, IT WILL BE WORTH IT. Next time I complain, please remind me I said that.
I had a top run this morning. Unlike last week, I was not only not as crook as a dog, but well on my way by 7am. It was absolutely freezing - 2.5 degrees! - but a gorgeous, still morning with drifts of mist across the paddocks making the cows, trees and haybales etc even more picturesque. Given that Thinking Ahead is the LBTEPA way, I wore my shorts so that I could pop on my compression tights afterward as an experiment for better recovery (I told you VSM training is fascinating).
So. Shorts. 2.5 degrees. OMFG my legs were cold. I carried a water bottle to the start of the rail trail so I could refill on the way back (see? hydration strategy! Fascinating!) , but that meant I could only keep one hand at a time tucked in my jacket sleeve. Brrrr! Untucking them both worked for me a bit later when I slipped on some frost and went down on the asphalt ow ow ow! I gouged a bit out of my hand - it was that or my face, and I was able to continue with a tissue pressed on my palm to stem the gore, whereas a head injury would have meant abandoning the run (see? Stupid Determination! Fascinating!).
Other highlights: being nearly run over twice by a one-legged man on a recumbent bicycle. I am not making this up. On the return encounter, he called out are you in training for a marathon? I answered yes! That is such a cool thing to be able to say! I also avoided a tiger slug a full handspan long. The other cool thing was thinking of a new use for my obsessive watch-checking: each time I checked my watch (to see if it was time for a walk break. I do 4:1 run:walk for anything over 21km. See? The Galloway method! Fascinating!) I checked my form. Good balance? Light footfall? Energy from core muscles not shoulders or legs? As I got tired, I checked my watch more and more often so this worked very well.
My post-run ice-bath was...errrr.....character-building.
27km in the marathon bank is A Good Thing. It'll be a long slow one on July 4th, but I'm getting closer to believing I'll finish.More anon, daydream believers!

It's all coming back to me now

so I put together 24 slooooow km on Saturday morning. It took a loooooong time and it was haaaaard..but I'm finding that all those slogfests for VSM 09 have had some lasting benefits. I know stuff now.
If you just keep going, things pass. The headache, the stupid-orthotic-won't-stay-in-the-right-place, the urgent desire to ring home and get a lift..they pass...or you get used to them and stop noticing. Same thing really
Pain is just pain. It's not good or bad or a reason to stop and sit down on any of the seven Benches O'Temptation along the rail trail.
My overtired inner crybaby cannot be soothed or bullied. She can be told whether you walk or run, we are going all the way home on foot in a kind, calm way.
I'm still a bit scared of unattended goats, even when they're tied up.
Noticing a cow's leg (!!!) behind a bush when you're 3km from the nearest proper road is a bit creepy.
I need new orthotics.
Being able to run for three hours when I have a sinus infection bad enough to need antibiotics which I now have, so now I can get better, yay! is strangely encouraging.
It's a bit sick to look forward to my post-run ice-bath as intensely as I do.

More anon,

Happy Mother's day #2

Race report: Mother's Day 10k
Time: 1.13 (ish) (watch time)(no chips)
Rating: Very Pleased

Rrready to rrrumble!

I was going to start this cautionary, yet happy-ended tale with a list of "Don'ts" but I'm trying not to be so bossy so here instead is a list of "Things That Will Make Your 10k Go Better If You Avoid Them" instead. Mind you read it.
1. Stay up unusually late two nights in a row prior to the run. Include a few sherbies.
2. Walk into a door on your way to bed and give yourself a big painful bruise and a bump that's exactly where the band of your running hat sits on your head
3. Have a bug that gives you the chills/sweats and a squirgly tummy
4. Fail to remind your spousal unit every single day for the previous month that you'll be running on mother's day morning, same as every other mother's day morning since 2003, and he needs to make sure he is available to Noddie-wrangle, not working.

5. Get all flustered and forget to drink anything except one cup of tea on a warm sunny day.

Do This Instead:
1. Be grumpy with everyone - the at-work Spousal Unit, cranky Noddie, the faintly amateurish organisers well it was a cheap race but starting 15 minutes late don't these people have a watch? and of course all the skinnyfasts.
2. Decide that it's such a nice day, and Mother's Day after all, you'll cheer the f*** up and enjoy yourself

Note the fabulous, handmade-by-Noddie Mother's Day necklace

This was my first stand-alone 10km for a couple of years; taking into account the list above and the amount of 'speed' training I've been doing hahahahahaha I wasn't expecting much. It looked like more of the same when only a few hundred metres after the organiser shouted I kid you not, gentle readers ready set go! there was clear air between me and the back of the pack. Oh well. I trundled across the grass and over the trestle bridge, trying to find some smoothness in my tin-man gait. Luckily I'm used to that, so I could soothe the frantic little OMG this is so yucky I wanna go hoommme baby in my head. You know how to do this. Keep doing what you know you should do. This will pass. Setting out with nausea, probably not the best plan, but be calm. Calm helps everything. Don't think about vomiting. This will pass. And little by little it did pass.
The course was an out and back along the river path. It's really pretty and I know it really well so I was able to get into that good split-brain state...one part of my mind on my form and my breathing and keeping it balanced and visualising being pulled up straight and smoothly along by a string out of the top of my head hey it's my suffering, I'll avoid it my way and the other part thinking what a beautiful day, how lucky I am to be here among the trees in the sunshine.... By the time I reached the bridge I was starting to get a bit hot but also to pass people. Slow people, elderly people, but at least I wasn't last any more.
The second half of the outward leg was the homeward route of my usual runs, so every metre is paved with cheerful thoughts. This was good becuase the skinnyfasts started to storm back past me at this point, a bit discouraging...I did clap and cheer for them though, I've been well brought up. It's even more discouraging when they (kindly) wave back and call keep going! Did I look as though I couldn't keep going? Mutter mutter grumble grumble
Anyhow...I got to the turnaround at Picnic Point, right near my house. Mmmmmm....home....but no! I bravely pressed on, because that's the LBTEPA way, and also because I have six consecutive Mother's Day medals so far and by crikey I was having that seventh come hell or high water
Soon after the turnaround, a strange thing happened. I saw someone in front of me - that wasn't the strange thing; she had on a red shirt and was visible for some distance - and started to chase her down.
The Spousal Unit often encourages me to do this. Just look for the person in front of you and pass them, he says. It beggars comprehension how he can have been my Spousal Unit for so long and not have realised that I have Only One Speed. The LBTEPA modus operandi has always been Go until they give me a medal, and then Stop.
But I digress. Gradually I ramped up the effort. Gradually I got used to breathing a bit harder and hurting a bit more. Gradually I reeled her in....and when I'd done that, I did it again. The woman in white, a chick in pink...they came into my sight, I went after them. I have no idea whose legs I had - my sinuses and chest were clearly still mine, the b*******s - but they were powerful and strong and weren't stopping until I had steamed down the chute, my arms raised in triumph a la the mighty Wes, in a three-minute negative split. It was fantastic.
Noddie and Mum rocked the 6km walk, too. Mum had planned to run but gave it up when J's roster snafu came to light. THANKS MUM!! YOU'RE ACE!! When I went to get her a coffee my hands were shaking so badly I couldn't get the money out, but that was ok. There was bling all round, and in honour of the occasion we gave the cake stall a serious going-over well it was for charity.......... The red leather couch in our living room has a view of the hills and is excellent for napping, and there was footy on tv. I love Mother's Day.

More anon, dreamcatchers

Happy Mother's Day

Last night Mum and I trained it 4 hours to the big smoke to be part of the Field of Women, an event supporting the 14,000 Australian women and 500 men who are diagnosed with breast cancer each year. Fourteen thousand. It's hard to comprehend. There are only 12,000 people in my town. Standing on the MCG last night, we were in a sea of pink. The MC asked people to raise their hands if they were breast cancer survivors. So many, many women raised their hands. It was terrible and humbling to see.
I know so many wonderful mums. My sister, my sister in law, of course my own Mum. My late Grandma. Vicki. Erin. Joan. Bev. Misty. Mary. Nancy. Becky. Lisa. Mrs Wombat. Annaleigh. Sue. DeeDee. Jeanne. Linda. So many others. If you're a Mum, you probably don't think you're wonderful. YOU ARE.
It's Mother's day tomorrow. Mum and I will be running together because that's how we celebrate, rat b******* cold or no rat b******* cold. That's what drugs are for.
Make sure you celebrate your Mum, and/or the person who loved you and taught you to be great. If you're a Mum, celebrate your own self. It's a tough gig and you're doing a great job.

code

I hab too buch rodden code habbedig all over my body to run 24km today (coughs, blows nose, feels sad). I'b tryig dot to extrapolate to an Epic Marathon Fail in eight weegs (sniffle, cough, ache). The house is a bess and it's raiding outside, and I was really lookig forward to getting out id the fresh air for a few hours of pleasant sweating. Dow I'b takig the laptop back to bed to write adother crappy essay. Id's by party and I'll wallow in the pity pool (for a limited time only!) if I want to.
Od a brighter dote:
1. I got a new job *beams* I'm so excited!! That's three days a week now - just what I wanted and for a really good organisation too. Everything we hoped for with this move has fallen into place so quickly! We are so pleased and grateful.
2.Mum ad I are goig to this toborrow dight! I was lucky enough to go last time as well - what an experience to be on the MCG with 14,000 other women, all supporting those affected by breast cancer. Can you see me in the picture? I'm in the right armpit LOL. If anyone else is coming, email me so we can catch up!

3. Then it's Mother's day! Yay!

More adod, silver lining-seekers (coughs, gets more panadol)

Hereby

I just worked out it's 61(ish) days until I have to, I mean I get to run, I mean stagger, I mean travel on foot 42.2km at the Gold Coast. It's only 159-ish days until Glory awaits me at the G! Sixty-ish days, two months, might seem a lifetime at the start of the summer holidays, and is forever when you're gestating, but from where I'm standing it's the blink of an eye, I mean really f***ing soon. It is hereby time to get a couple of things out of the way.
1. WTF WAS I THINKING?? I'M NOT READY AND THERE'S NO WAY IN HELL I WILL BE READY BY THEN!!! Two Marathons (and a half) in three months - now is the winter of our bloody discontent, all right! That's 105.5 Very Slow km. More than fourteen hours of racing. Mind you, I will get three medals. Mmmm....bling....Stop distracting me, I'm trying to FREAK OUT here! I HAVEN'T DONE NEARLY ENOUGH WORK! I NEED MY HEAD READ, WHY DO I DO THESE THINGS?*short pause as LBTEPA rocks back and forth, whimpering*
I have come back from Melbourne with a bit of a cold. Colds always FREAK ME OUT. They stir up visceral memories of the bad old chronic fatigue days. So I am hereby FREAKING OUT. Might as well get it over with early, eh? The New LBTEPA Plan for Colds is to sleep sleep sleep, and cut out the cross training. Runs are non-negotiable. They Get Done No Matter What. That's the plan at the moment. I'll let you know how Thursdays's scheduled 24km goes panic panic not thinking about it not thinking about it
*short pause, as above*
2. I'm thinking about doing some fundraising again this year, but I dunno.....I'm having an attack of the CBBs
3. I hereby declare that the new Dr Who is BRILLIANT.
4. I bought a new bag in Traralgon on the way home. It's fab!More anon, sonic screwdrivers!
*CBBs =Can't Be Bothereds