I still cannot really get my head around the fact that I am voluntarily walking into a hospital with the intention of allowing my foot to be cut open. This makes no sense to me, yet I am still going to do it. I am deliberately subjecting myself to pain, temporary disability and significant inconvenience. What sort of nong am I? Don't answer that!
This endless wrestling match between logic and fear is quite distracting. Frontal lobes versus brain stem. Homo sapiens against australopithicus. I have been utterly unimpressed by my level of cheerful stoicism (why is there no abstract noun for frantic?), and as for moderation - all I can say is if you bear even the slightlest resemblance to a glass of wine, cheese, rice crackers or bread, then for your own safety, run, don't walk, away from me. Gentlemen may wish to look away here - it appears I am dealing with PMS as well as terror-induced loopiness. Great.
There's a wierd compulsion to do all the things I won't be able to after Thursday - swimming, walking with Noddie, hopping on a train, driving my car - although, strangely, not cleaning the bathroom or stocking up on groceries. I am over the casserole thing too, thank goodness. It struck me that if our situations were reversed, the Spousal Unit wouldn't be thinking he should clean the house from top to bottom or lay in supplies. I was acting as though I don't trust him to look after me. That's pretty disrespectful, and untrue. Understanding in my heart that I will get all the support I need has made all the difference.
Three sleeps to go.
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Logic need not apply
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14 much-appreciated comments:
I understand the state of chaos in your mind. This is a lot to digest in a short period of time. I'm sure things will work out, though. Try (when/if possible) to relax. I know, it's hard. But try. :)
The trouble with the cleaning thing, for me anyway is that as soon as I'm sick or incapacitated, I start noticing things that wouldn't worry me any other time!
Well, the whole thing has been just painful to read about...But I've done some reading and there's apparently supposed to nearly always be VERY good outcomes from the procedures like yours. High hopes, and fingers crossed!
you'll be able to walk...crutches? right? i hope noddie slows down for you.
right.
The doctor is our friend :-) He's going to make you mo betta! Keep your chin up and persevere!
Hey there! You will do just fine and you are making the right choice!
try not to do the whole What If thing. Trust me it just messes with your head way too much. Wine and carbs will quiten them. Tried and Tested. Keep positive and focus on your recovery.
Thankyou for your kind words, it's certainly a tough time for my friends, what I am feeling would only be the smallest amount compared to them.
I'm sure you operation will go well, especially if your surgeon can mock you about it.
Even if you're needing 6 months of rehab, that bring you back in what, January? You can make the end of the tri season yet!
I wish you all the best and a speedy recovery!
You'll finish the rug you are knitting! LOL!! (Who are you kidding??!!!) Winter is a good time for plaster - I'll concede that one!
Plus plaster equals SYMPATHY. Never underestimate the power of sympathy. Complete strangers will offer to carry your bag. People will stand up on the bus to offer you their seat. And that's just the unsolicited sympathy. Don't abuse the power but you can ASK for sympathy too! And it works!!! You might need a drink of water, or a box of chocolates, or maybe a box of chocolates (did I say that already?) All you need to do is look sadly at the cast, or hobble pathetically, and the power belongs to YOU!!
Man, I'd be enjoying this whole process! Once that cast comes off, you lose the power. You can be in all the pain in the world but you need the visual reinforcement of a plaster cast and crutches to make it work.
If it helps.... 7 years ago I voluntarily walked into the hospital and had BOTH my feet cut open simultaneously. And some bones removed and other ones rearranged, with some pins stuck in to hold it all together.
The recovery was surprisingly manageable with minimal discomfort. That surgery remains one of the best decisions I ever made.
I really, REALLY hope your experience is as smooth as mine was!
My friend went in for the same thing and seven years later she says it was one of the best things she has ever done. Pain is no fun, so get rid of it ASAP. I wish you well.
just think of hte post surgical sexy footwear you'll have.
He, he, he.... nong....
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