Like it?

Waddya reckon? I really like it! Now it says what I am about this year.
I'll tell you all about it later as Godzilla wasn't about so I am going to the pool right now.
More anon, splashers!
*later*
 Swimming is one of my favourite things! It makes me feel happy! I'm going to do it more often! Today's was short becuase I want to go again tomorrow. I rode my bike to the pool which was fun too, and ticked off a couple of Goals in my Book. I heart my Book. It's purple!
So about the new blog...
I am absolutely grateful for the blessings in my life. I have a loving and supportive marriage, a healthy, happy kid, a more than financially adequate and satisfying job in a location I like very much, and I'm in pretty good health. Life is good.
I'm not making the most of it.
Over the last few years my full engagement with life has been eroded by deaths and worries and sadness and stress. I've stopped catching up with friends, and swimming, and riding my bike, and knitting, and playing the piano, and even planning so all these things can happen in the available time. It's time to do Life properly again! As I mentioned, I have a Book becuase I like a place to scribble. I'll probably summarise My Triumphs hahahahaha here every week, but the daily thoughts and ponderings will be done non-virtually. I'm so retro, no?
Henyway (so French I am, non?), that's what this is about.
What do you do when you want to change things up?
More anon, violets!

yeah well

This staying focused thing is all very well. WAY harder than it looks, but. HOWEVER.
NOT GIVING UP. KEEPING AT IT.
Overall, far less drinking (except water, sloshing that stuff down  like ...um... water?) and noticeably more exercise.  My bike and I are having good times together! The pool has fallen victim to tiresome unscheduled adult responsibilities utter lameness, poor time management, and excuse-making. I AM NOT ACCEPTING THIS. Tomorrow is swimming day unless Godzilla stamps on the pool. If Godzilla stamps on the house, or the car if my togs are in the car, I will borrow another car, drive to the shops and buy some more togs. Actually, if Godzilla stamps on the pool I can go to the lake because my friend returned my wetsuit the other day. It. IS.ON.
Other goals: talking to friends is actually not so bad, who knew?
My house is being transformed, one drawer at a time. This is pleasant.
This blog is sounding demented. I love love love the tennis and it's been brilliant but it's turning me into a(n amiable) zombie. I'm going to bed now. 

I think I'll cut out these pictures and stick them around the place to freak me out when I start having good reasons making excuses for not working out. These are SCARY stop kidding yourself faces.
Just what I need :)
More anon, Death-starers!

Open up and say ahhrrrr!!!

Hi Blog!
So how did it all go, you ask? Life at Chateau LBTEPA this week has been interesting, and complicated. Interesting in that I kept remembering, oh, that's right, that's how you do that, and complicated in that we are in the midst of a Major Family Upheaval which has resulted in a close family member moving in with us indefinitely and also in many rather painful conversations. But these things happen. In addition, The Spousal Unit's primary work is longer as my domestic engineer so I'm having to dust off ye olde household management/multitasking skills. Oy karumba!I am so rusty!
1. drink a big glass of water first thing every morning DONE even though sometimes the water was consumed at 11am because that's when I remembered. Like most changes, it's a matter of REMEMBERING which takes PRACTICE, which is, fortunately, an LBTEPA core skill.
2. clean out a cupboard DONE so very many more to do.....le sigh....
3. ring a friend DONE this morning because I knew I'd be writing today, thank you goal list
4. 2 swims, 2 bike rides, plus walk/running. Errrr... 3 bike rides plus walk/running. I learned PREPARATION IS EVERYTHING ie check the compressor battery is charged the day before you plan to ride because your tyres WILL need to be pumped up and you will get very cross about how long it's all taking. MUST get to grips with reluctance to swim.
5. physio exercises every day - done every day!....until all the therabands broke one after the other in a hilarious series of snaps that had to be a good ab workout from laughing so much. I've subbed in a little core set instead. I'll buy more theraband tomorrow.
6. Alcohol-free days (aim: 3). Errrr.....Two completely free days but focus on sipping on other days (see 'Major Family Upheaval')
7. No fashion blogs. What time suckers. During a brief skim on Saturday morning I realised they're far less interesting than I remembered. Temptation decreasing.
What's next, you ask? I want to reinforce this stuff. It's not automatic or even my preferred mode yet. Then I'll go bigger. Therefore this week's goals are:
1. drink a big glass of water first thing every morning
2. clean out a cupboard or shelf
3. ring a friend. Isolating myself is a very bad habit.
4. 2 swims, 2 bike rides, plus walk/running
5. physio exercises every day
6. Alcohol-free days on Wednesday, Thursday and Sunday
7. No fashion blogs.
Insight of the week: Stuff is how it is, and you can either wallow, or accept that it's there and get on with things. Helloooo Captain Obvious!

More anon, me hearties!

Now The Plan Is This

hahaha not really 

Hi Blog
I'm back!
It's nice to be back from such a brilliant trip, and to declare 2015 OVER. What a stupid year it was. I got back from hols yesterday and start work tomorrow so I'm in a bit of a rush today, so this will be quick.
This weeks' goals:
1. drink a big glass of water first thing every morning
2. clean out a cupboard
3. ring a friend
4. 2 swims, 2 bike rides, plus walk/running
5. physio exercises every day
6. Alcohol-free days on Wednesday, Thursday and Sunday (being specific is part of the Master Plan, bwahahaha)
7 No fashion blogs. What time suckers. 
See you next week! 

Resolute

Bonjour Blog! Still in France, still hammering the museum pass and being a proper culture vulture. Not to mention the bread....oh my I am so spoilt now. The bread at home will be intolerable. But I have Had Thoughts. Oh yes I have.
It seems I am quite easily discouraged these days. How to remedy this? Quick wins. So my resolution this year is to blog weekly, with a weekly resolution, all of course aimed at the Bigger Goal of getting properly fit and dropping significant lard. For example, when I get home the first week's resolution will be to swim and ride my bike twice each (plus the normal walk/run) and have four alcohol free days. I can do that for a week. Then I'll do it, and more, for another week. Then one day I'll wake up believing I am self-disciplined and can stick to a regime, because I'll already be doing it. Genius. Must be the Parisian air :)

More anon, Euro-trash!

Next year

Next year, my pretties, next year...is when the healing and strengthening of this year are combined with more fitness and less lard - and more blogging! I have a feeling about 2016....and what's more I have INTENTIONS and PLANS and ENERGY to work hard at them. It could well be epic. We shall see.

In the meantime we are GOING TO PARIS TOMORROW!!!!!!

and then to Malaysia! We are beyond excited.

Stay safe over the break, if you get one, and hug your loved ones.
More anon, globe-trotters!

Is there anywhere you'd rather be?

This race report has taken so long to get done! I did start it about a week after the race, and it was a complete ripsnorter if I do say so myself, but the blogger ate it and  I was all discouraged and then life got crazy and somehow I didn't even want to remember it at all for some reason. Maybe I was in an 'all too hard' headspace? I do go there sometimes...but seeing as I'm doing another half next Sunday (!!??!!??!!) which I have entered purely on the strength of how magic this one was, I am going to cement this in my memory right here and now. ONWARD!

The 2015 Melbourne Half Marathon was one of the great ones - just a really, really good day.Of course as seems always the case it was a bloody drama leading up - I got so very sick I was just staying upright and utterly dreading race day. Luckily we live in the 21st century, despite efforts of medical providers in my town to have us believe otherwise. Picture your heroine at 5.40 a.m. g00gling 'Melbourne CBD walk-in clinic' before hopping the train, in the faint hope that a Big Smoke dr would take pity on her - then picture her relieved delight when she found a clinic near the station with facilities to make online appointments! Up yours, neo-Luddites! The wonderful, kind, perceptive doctor looked at me and, in stark contrast to what I would have got from the I'll-make-you-beg-for-antibiotics-becuase-you've-already-had-some-this-year neanderthals at home, said you look shocking, here, have some medicine. We might have to move back to the Big Smoke. I heart that doctor so much.
Armed with my magic pills I made my way to the hotel and took myself to bed. After an afternoon watching travel and cooking documentaries I was sufficiently revived to both meet the Mighty Emma's gorgeous new beau, and to partake of sustenance. Things were looking up.
Next morning all was even better. I could pretty much take a full breath whenever I felt like it and my head wasn't aching. It was a nice cool morning and I was filled with delight to be in a starting crowd again. The Mighty Emma and I did our usual alternating oscillating between ohshitohshitwe'reallgoingtodieeee and ohmygoshi'msoexcitedthisissoawesome, luckily refraining from actually killing each other.
The gun went off and within minutes it became clear that any plans I'd had about (ahem) 'running' were Not Happening. I tried run 1 min walk 3 for the first couple of km with the only outcome being increasingly nauseated dizziness and a stupidly niggly calf (of which more later). I cracked the sads for a bit and even contemplated bailing. Luckily for me, and for the five faithful readers of this race report, I had a good hard look at myself and essentially (ok, literally, aloud) told those thoughts to F--- Off - they were no use to me. So I talk to myself when I'm racing, whoopee do. If I was walking this half, then I was walking it the absoulte best I could. It. Was. On.
I trundled up St Kilda road telling my story to anyone who slowed down enough for me to catch them. Steroids make me chatty but they all seemed understanding.  It was a lovely morning, cool and sunny. I have so many pleasant memories of all the places on the course that it was one joyful recollection after another fuelling my pace. I kept re-focusing over and over. Form form form. Effort effort effort. It started to get painful around Albert Park so I got a bit creative with my self-talk. I am Godzilla crushing this race, rooooaaaarrrr!!! Pain? I don't fear pain! I charge at pain! I trample it! On and on I strode. It was nice when we got back on to St Kilda road again with all the buzz of the full marathoners on their way. My (almost) favourite part was when we turned left behind the National Gallery to do a little loop around the Concert Hall and under the Arts Centre. As a Slow Marathon runner we get sent on another course, so I'd never been there and I was So Excited. I was just so excited to be out there, to be feeling strong, to be in the sun surrounded by My People all sweating together working hard. I felt fierce and happy and determined which is the Best feeling Ever. I missed it so much before so I soaked up every second.
Mind you I did crack it for a bit when we were sent straight into the 5k runners. 'Just stay on the left' the marshall said. 'You shouldn't be here' a charming member of the oncoming hordes screamed at me. 'YOU'RE ON MY COURSE' I muttered furiously to myself.
I also could have done without being run into by the junior 3.5km runners and their parents, awesome consideration of the slow runners again but this is the Melbourne Marathon and they're about quantity not quality, and without the steep pedestrian bridge at 20km.

I was getting pretty tired by this point and only realised by the glares around me that I was saying I don't know who the **** William Barak is but I ****ing hate him out loud.... ooops... hashtagsorrynotsorry.

Now this terribly sentimental song here could have been written about my group of uni friends. It reminds me of such happy times and sums up so much of why Melbourne is my town. At 2.15 ish there's a line 'is there anywhere you'd rather be than with me at the MCG?

.....and would you believe it, that's what was playing when I ran into that great stadium! The sky was blue and there was that fabulous buzz from loads of happy excited people and I was running, becuase I'd sworn I was going to run around the 'G even if I didn't run another step, and Weddings Parties Anything were playing and I had tears in my eyes because I was strong again and it was all just perfect.
My time? 3.34 off my face on steroids and antibiotics and with a bung-ish leg, just three minutes slower than well and intact in July. I got a medal. It's all very good.
The End


Since then the calf has been giving me curry so I have been working diligently to strengthen it and to modify my gait. A playlist for Sunday has been prepared with exactly three hours thirty minutes of music on it, for that is my goal. It's three days out and I'm not even sick, so things are looking very promising
More anon, trotters!

Behold!

On Sunday, most likely with help from ventolin, cough syrup and immodium if the week's trend continues, I'll be covering 21.1km on foot. Yay!! It'll probably take me close to four hours (see above, plus the 20-odd extra kgs I'll be hauling around) but you know what?

Last Christmas I couldn't walk Noddie to school without pain. I had to think about every single step I took. Now, if I can walk/run a half marathon, then I will do so, wheeze and cough be damned. Especially one where the finish is in a great big cool stadium with 10000 of my closest friends, including The Mighty Emma, YAY! Team Stupidly Determined races together again!! and I get a medal!
The Spousal Unit and I had lunch today with a non-sporty friend. When I spoke of my plans for the weekend, she got a very funny look on her face

I mentioned this to the Spousal Unit later: she thinks I'm mad, doesn't she? Do you think I'm mad? Well, quoth he, you've always been a bit mad...nothing wrong with being a bit mad.
I *heart* the Spousal Unit.
I've made up a playlist for Sunday with three hours 59 minutes of music. My goal is to only hear any of it once. But if not... behold the field! I'm just soooo taken with that!
More anon, caution-tossers!

ermergerd

ermergerd it's been more than a month since I put pen to paper (as it were). I'm plugging away at more fitness/less lard, with more success at the former, but that'll do for the moment. My main focus is to Keep At It no matter what. I'm not getting discouraged becuase I haven't done what I planned, instead doing what I can - taking into account we're still quite a tired sad household - I can't believe it's only ten weeks since J's dad died - and Noddie has been busy being startlingly impressive all over the place (apologies to my effbee friends for the slightly sickening succession of Proud Mum posts). The leadup to taking two whole weeks off  was MENTAL - including the insane dance teacher's impossible costume demands!

yes I made these, figjam eh? and I can apply false eyelashes and eyeliner wings like a BOSS me stressed? hahahahahahaaaaaaaa

- and now we're nearly through eisteddfodd week, involving 13 performances in 3 towns (2 solos, 2 duos and 2 troupes, so "only" six costumes thank ****). We worked out we've covered more than 1500km this week! Noddie loves dancing and works very hard at it, so even though it's an alien and faintly disturbing world to me, I'm happy to be the least crap Dance Mum I can be (I'll never be good at it. Song and dance makes me want to poke myself in the eye with a pencil).  I'm walking when I can, (ahem) 'running' when I can, and taking great pleasure in being able to run up the many many stairs in dance theatres. I couldn't do that a few months ago - thank you glutes for coming to the party at last, and thank you 10000 reps of physio exercises! I'm resigned to a slow melbourne half marathon in a few weeks, but far more focused on how wonderful it is to be able to just say, oh well, walk/running 21.1km will take me over 3 hours at the moment when last Christmas my goal was to walk 2km without soreness. It's all good!

more anon, divas!

onya bike, Noddie

I am such an idiot.
What do I think about and worry about and get upset about? My health and fitness!! And what do I prioritise? My work and the housework and the family and every other bloody thing and not what's important. Certainly family and work have to come first when they need to come first , but acting as though fitness is the unimportant afterthought, when to me it clearly isn't, makes no sense at all!

Oy karamba. (sound of LBTEPA smacking head).
And another blinding flash of illumination: my main weakness is my core and glutes, I need to ramp up my cardiovascular fitness, I can't really walk/run every day....and I have a bike that isn't on its trainer....
well it is now.
More anon, pedal-pushers!

of mice and men

The entire story of the last few months could be 'life got in the way of my best laid plans'. But it never used to, even when things were super-challenging, so it's my doing really. I have to keep working at it, just chipping away at making exercise an always-do/who-I-am thing rather than a negotiable priority. I'll work it out. I'm a bit peeved becuase my lower back has taken to spasming and shrieking at me, which is unpleasant. I'm hammering the roller and stretching and if it hasn't come good by next week I'll go back to the cranky and disapproving yet extremely good physio.
I've pondered the 'do the open water swim without a wetsuit and be sneered at running up the finish chute as my unconstrained lard flops about' - this DID happen last year (I DO have togs on, in case that gave the wrong impression!) - and have come to the conclusion that I must focus on the 30 min of enjoyable swimming not the 90sec of humiliation at the end. I can't get my wetsuit back as the person to whom I have lent it is a) training for her first ironman b) afraid of water and c) also doing the event. meh.
Then again, I could lash out for a ticket to Brisbane instead to see my footy team, who this season have made me very very happy with their best performance in many a long year....hmmm... hot blokes in tight shorts and a reasonably likely win? Hmmm.....

More anon, flyboys!

....just quickly

ok so now the excitement has subsided and we are back into Real Life, boooo, The Plan for the res of the year Is This
- swim the Hazelwood Pond 1.5k swim with my friend on 5th Sept. This will involve actually going to the pool in the intervening time, a novel concept these days. I can do it
- Melbourne marathon half
- no full marathon - can't do it physically in the time, and even if I was about 3 months ahead of where I actually am, domestic imperatives dictate that I don't have available time to lay down super-long training walk/runs. Not upset by this. I'm not doing underdone sufferfests. Nor is endurance sport either my job or my highest duty.
- Sussan half marathon in December,if the date fits with the aforementioned domestic imperatives.
- Sub-goal - get to a reliable 2km of non-stop running so I can do the mini-triathlons our club runs every spring and summer. I'd love to drop a few kg on the way but if that happens it'll be a bonus.
Here we go!
I pinched this from the MIghty Tea. Thanks darl!
More anon, bling-chasers!

How did it go?

How did it go? I absolutely effing SMASHED IT. I was FIERCE. I went as hard as this heavy weak body could go, ALL THE WAY. It felt MAGIC. I did not falter. I stuck to the plan, and concentrated, the whole three and a half hours. That's more than half an hour faster than I was expecting, I'll have you know, and I wasn't wearing a watch so it was just go go go and then the best feeling ever at the end! I was so happy, all the way! There were hardly any times I wished I had another hobby :) When I was coming up the (mercifully short) finish chute, (for I was well and truly had it), I was laughing and laughing - such elation! Oh my goodness I love that feeling!
And let me tell you, the shower you have after racing  for several hours and then driving 300km home (ewww) is the best shower ever.

In like Flynn

Here at Chateau LBTEPA we are moving from utterly shocked to mourning J's dad, and getting on with all the house-sorting and what-will-we-do-with-the-dog -ing stuff. Thank goodness there's no hurry.
I had a brilliant walk on the trail on Friday. I think I've conquered my shoe issues - touching wood - I'm finding nutri-grain a good pre-long-workout breakfast that doesn't fight with the gels (don't shudder!),  and I was certainly faster than I expected!
Just to cover all my bases, and to make sure that I won't be doing a 600km round trip 'for the satisfaction of finishing', I rang the race organisers asking to confirm that even if it does take me 4.5 hours to finish 21.2km, there will be a) a finish line and b) a medal for me. They rang back this morning, answering in the affirmative to both.
Ack! As my dear friend the Mighty Emma would say, ohshitohshitohshit we're all going to die! 
Oh who am I tricking? I am so looking forward to this! I know it'll be hard work, that I am quite underdone, and there will be times when I will feel embarrassed and hopeless and ashamed of my weight and my pace. These times will be fleeting! I will be focussed on the fact that last December my goal was to walk Noddie to school, 1km from my house! Now I'm sooking about being too slow over 21.1km! I am so lucky!

I was going to put another photo up because this one makes me look fat, but then I remembered a conversation I had with the Spousal Unit on the weekend. I said, you know what? Last summer I was fat and weak and broken and depressed. Now I'm strong and getting stronger, and happy, and fat. Can't grizzle about that!
More anon, stompers!

I think I will

You know what? I looked up the cutoff time for the half marathon I was planning to do in a couple of weeks' time....and there isn't one.  

I've paid, I can walk 21.1km, they have to wait. Then I get bling. I think I'll do it .

 

 see? Niiiiice bling.......

More anon, gluttons for punishment!

JKM

In answer to the question posed by the redoubtable Cilla, to whit: so? How did it go? The short answer is - well! which could also be accurately written well.....
I had about ten days feeling really well after the everlasting chest infection and started to build a routine of early rising and daily exercise..and then....
my sinuses started acting up...I couldn't believe it...I felt beside myself and frantic. I was poking around at the chemist looking for a magic potion or a new head or something, anything, when the chemist, one of the ironman finishers at our tri club (I know this but he doesn't know me) suggested a whiz-bang nasal douche that 'always worked for him'. Apparently it's isotonic or hyperbaric or mesiolithic or something, I can't remember and I don't care - it's the bees' rollerskates! Three days and my schnoz was as cooperative a schnoz as one could wish for!  This could really be a game changer.  I was able to whiz off to a regional health conference and walk before work and at lunchtime and go to the gym and think about rearranging life to revolve around exercise again. And then......
Four days after that (Wednesday of last week) my father-in-law died, very suddenly. He's been very frail for a while, but this was one of those shocking nice day with the family, out to dinner with friends, drop in his tracks on the way to bed and be found 14 hours later by the meals on wheels lady five minutes before the Spousal Unit and Noddie arrived to have lunch with him situations. Not unexpected, but shocking.
We decided we'd still go on our  weekend road trip that we'd organised months ago, on the principle that we could feel miserable just as well driving around the state as at home. I think it was a good idea, but it was three nights away from home, then two nights in our own bed before leaving for Melbourne again for the the funeral. Funerals are very tiring to organise and attend, I find. But I delivered a ripper euplogy even if I do say so myself.
Now we are home again, and in three days I'll be back at work after what's felt like being dumped by a huge wave onto an unfamiliar beach.
The Run Melbourne Half I planned for two weeks' time isn't happening. Nothing that hasn't been about keeping everyone going has been happening. Just Keep Moving has been the LBTEPA way. Keep the washing going, make sure there's food, answer the phone. The self-care standards I've set have been fairly low - drink heaps of water, get to the gym a couple of times and go for the odd walk. This of course has implications for my planned marathon later in the year - 42km is a long way even when you're walking, and I don't do underdone sufferfests. In a week or so, when life and sleep and exercise settle down, I'll have a think and set some goals. Stay tuned......
More anon, staggerers!

Once more, with gusto

Once more cleared for action, on the morrow at dark o'clock our heroine will embark on the next section of her path back to fitness. So there.

The things you find on g00g1e images...I might have to change the name of my blog!

More anon, full-forwards!

trap for young players

ahem. This post describes a hot contender for the stupidest thing I have ever done.
working out is good, yes?
pushing through things is good, yes?
learn from me, young grasshoppers - do not, I repeat do not, go to the gym and work out when you have a chest infection, lest you should strain the chest wall with the effort of breathing, and feel so sick and sore with chest pain that you go to the hospital where they think you might be having a heart attack but of course you aren't so you feel like a complete dill.

But my blood pressure is down from the other week! Yay! It wasn't me, it was the bug!
More anon, beepers!

rhetorical

how am I supposed to exercise and lose weight and get strong and train for this bloody marathon when my chest hurts so much all the time and wakes me up?But I have a plan....

thinking, but not too much

 The LBTEPA train got rather hesitantly back on track on the weekend. I walked for over 2 hours, reasonably quickly; no running though, the lungs wouldn't stand it in the cold air.  My current challenge is to not live the next 6 weeks (until the half marathon I intended/have paid/was well on track to do before I got sick) all at once in my head. I can't write off walking on July 26th yet - but I will be able to tell quite soon whether it'll be worth the weekend away/train ticket/accommodation to have a crack at it. My call now, based on current progress, would be 'no', which is massively disappointing and a huge worry concerning my planned November marathon. See how it works? I have to live in the future a little bit, but too much time there and I'm all sad and discouraged. LBTEPA the tightrope walker.
I'm continuing the gym workouts. The pitilessly accurate mirrors are, alas, still there, as are the startled looks from people I haven't seen for a couple of years. But no matter - it's the price I pay to get stronger. It is what it is. I don't have to like it. On my first visit the chickybabe who wrote my program spouted now let me know if there are any exercises you don't like and we'll change them, the most important thing is that you enjoy yourself. 
No it isn't, quoth I sternly, the most important thing is that I do it. She looked puzzled, but the feeble notions of gym staff are not my problem.

A daily gobful of this and I'm sorted!

More anon, sluggers!