Eagle Point race report

Race report: Eagle Point Triathlon
600/20/5: 1:42:56
Stone motherless last by 16 minutes
Rating: Very Pleased

You will recall that I showed up to this race for one reason: becuase I was convinced I was Too Fat to go out and sweat in public with a whole lot of skinnyfasts. Well, we here at LBTEPA Operational HQ might be assailed by these thoughts from time to time (damn you PMS and Christmas kgs) but rest assured, my five faithful readers, we NEVER let them win. I felt like throwing up as I filled in my entry form at the kitchen table, but I put my bike on the rack, set off, signed up and set up. It was a gorgeous morning with not a ripple on the lake. I am so lucky to live in such a beautiful place.Another older slightly lardy lady set up her hybrid bike next to mine on the main race rack. Bwahahaha thought evil shallow LBTEPA, I'm SURE I can beat HER.
She had set up on the wrong rack and did the mini tri. *pout*
The main race started an hour after the mini tri. I spent the time cheering the backmarkers and breathing very carefully...calm in...fear out... don't get that the wrong way around! Finally it was time to go. I'd already decided that I would enjoy the swim and hate the rest - hey, don't knock it, it works for me!. The water was warm and there was no wind so it was glorious, apart from PEOPLE WHO CAN'T SIGHT FFS LEARN TO SWIM IN A STRAIGHT LINE MATE OR GET OUT OF THE F&*^ING WAY. And cut your bloody toenails! (Hang on, remark my five faithful (and observant) readers I thought you were planning to enjoy the swim?)
*hangs head in shame*
The bike leg was... well, the undertrained, significantly heavier than last time bike leg. I swore a lot. I kept going. I must tell you about this bit though. At one point on the course we turned on to a fairly main road. The marshall there was super-conscientious and very nice too. He must have thought I'd dropped out or something, as I rounded the last corner and he was about to drive off. Oh well, I thought, fair enough. But not he! No! He screeched his dark blue SUV with the tinted windows this is relevant, I promise to a dust-clouded halt, leapt out, grapped his "slow" sign and tore out onto the road. After I passed him he got back into his SUV...
and trailed along behind me at an absolute crawl, picking up the race safety signs as he went. It was too funny, slow old me wearily pushing on, with my big shiny security escort behind! It got even better - the marshalls at the next corner also had a dark SUV, and they fell in behind the first marshall collecting their signs as I pedalled and puffed slowly along. I had a convoy!
My goal for the run was to Not Walk the first loop. It was 28 degrees and about 10000% humidity. The LBTEPA Survival Taskforce quickly recalculated and came up with a new goal: don't throw up, cry or DNF. Too easy! Not. I did run a lot more than I walked. I knew I was last by miles - my old mantra they took my entry money, they can WAIT got another outing today - so as I steamed up the chute I did the whole arm-waving grandstanding thing and got a big cheer from the skinnyfasts. Maybe they thought I'd died.
But look! Look at this!
600m swim 0:08:23 - I knew I was having a good day!
20km bike 1:04:33 =18.59kph. This is good for me! Especially with three - count them, three, oh, life is so harsh -trips up a MFFB* pinch hill that had all the skinnyfasts out of their saddles, what hope did I have?
5km run 0:30:00=6:00min/km. If those numbers are even close to accurate that is an absolute BLINDER for me! Especially as I was Not In The Mood.
And look at this!
2nd 40-49F: LBTEPA!
Lessons for the day: courage is its own reward and showing up is half the battle - but bling is good too! And sometimes you're doing better than you think you are.
More anon, pressers-on!
*A very rude aggregation of very rude words that I used MANY TIMES (in my head, I've been well brought up) on the ride

Australians all...

...let us rejoice!
Happy Australia Day!

More anon, pav eaters!
BTW Sunday's race report is on its way, stay tuned...

Knee-deep

Picture this: LBTEPA, knee-deep in the murk of self-dislike (every extra kg is solely due to slackness, laziness, personal weakness and plain old lack of character (unhelpful core belief: I must be perfect in order to have any worth as a person)), body-image issues (ditto, plus I don't belong here, I'm too fat, they're all laughing at me) and plain old butit'srainingandcoldIdontwannnnaaa! (to be fair, it is raining and not terribly warm)........
sipping on a nice hot cup of HTFU
then going out to DO.THIS. #$%&ing. TRIATHLON.
More anon, waders!

Rolling on

Last night I left the Spousal Unit and Noddie at the camping ground in Mallacoota seriously what is this camping thing about? ignoring millenia of human progress in construction and engineering to sleep on the ground under fabric?? and drove the 256km home becuase I am working today.....
and then I called in at my friend's house because it was her son's birthday, and there was some wine oh I know, I know.... and no food becuase I arrived so late...
and then when I got home there wasn't anything except a frozen chicken pie in the freezer, and the tennis was really exciting and the recliner was really reeeaallly comfortable maybe that's why people go camping, so they appreciate their furniture more? so I stayed up a bit later....
and then I woke up at STFU you stupid birds o'clock, and I thought #$%* it, why don't I just roll over and go back to sleep...
and then I thought
BECAUSE I'M AN ATHLETE, THAT'S WHY. IT SAYS SO IN MY SIDEBAR.
So I rolled out of bed, into my gear, on to my trusty steed Minerva and down the driveway. I can't say it was one of my fastest or most enthusiastic bike rides, but is there such a thing as a bad bike ride? Never pass up an opportunity to zoom down a hill yelling 'wheeeee!', that's my motto.
Back up the coast tonight - we're going kayaking tomorrow!
More anon, camp followers!

So on.

2011. The Year of Getting On With It. Yes yes yes, my five faithful readers, it is So. On.
I have decided that this year I am no longer the person who buys stuff on ebay becuase she's stressed about an essay or worried about her Spousal Unit or Noddie. I am no longer the person who shares a bottle of wine with her Spousal Unit at the end of a rough day out of habit. I am no longer the person who cracks it when she (ahem) "can't fit in" a workout because she hasn't read the Spousal Unit's roster.
Now The Plan is This - 2011 Edition
- not buy ANY shoes or clothes until at least November. Exclusions: undies and running shoes. When you need them, you need them.
- maintain reasonable drinking habits including at least 4 alcohol-free days a week. Yeah yeah yeah, LBTEPA, you say, I've heard that before....and so you have. What can I say? It's time for another crack at it.
- plan my exercise schedule around my available time.
- put a notice on my pantry that says mindful? to remind myself that if I can't or don't want to notice myself eating something..... then I shouldn't be eating it.

In other news
- we're going camping this weekend. Eeeek. It's been nice knowing you.
- I'm having a grouse time organising our agency's teams for the local corporate triathlon in February. Here are the team lists
ALLSTARS
LBTEPA “PNF” C.
R*** “Chrissie” T.
E*** Javi M.
SUPERSTARS
C*** “Moffy” L.
S*** “Macca” H.
J*** “Crowie”O.
I think we'll do well.
It's been horribly hot and humid here this week, but we're not on fire or under water, for which blessings I could not be more grateful.
More anon, optimists!

Waddya reckon?

Well! *fans self*
That was a weekend, sportsfans. I understand that if you click this link you can see the heavily doctored evidence that yes indeed, my dear friend A and I painted Melbourne an ironically retro shade of red. We walked, we talked, we cruised places from our distant student past, we bought ironically retro stuff from cool markets, we ate, we drank coffee, we rode on trams and we walked some more. Whenever we got a bit tired (which was fairly often I must say) we drank champagne in grand old pubs and uber-cool little bars and just soaked up the inner city ambience.
And now I'm home again. It. Was. Fab. I am recharged and refreshed, and it's time to get properly stuck into 2011.
So far Project Just Bloody Get Up Will You is batting 100 mind you I don't set the alarm every morning, as is my secret plan whoops what a giveaway to do some sort of exercise every single day. This is pleasing.
Another thought which has been tickling the innards of the 'ol LBTEPA noggin is the notion of eschewing retail therapy as a stress management tool until at least November. Ebay might well crash, but that's not my problem. I do have plenty of clothes, AND SHOES. I could maintain appropriate standards of decorum and fabulousness for quite some time without further wardrobe supplementation, or, I tremble as I write this, any new shoes. I would exclude running shoes, undies and the Melbourne Marathon race singlet from this veto of course. Waddya reckon?
More anon, cupboard spelunkers!

Just one

As my five faithful readers know, LBTEPA loves her some plan. I do. One of these days I'll even post my latest chart, all full of ticks (and crosses *sad face*) as I find the building blocks of a good life and put them into a fun order.
I've got lots of plans for 2011, but only one New Year's resolution:
GET UP WHEN THE ALARM GOES OFF.
The definition of insanity, as you, my five faithful readers, fountains of all wisdom, know, is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. At the end of last year I knew I had to CHANGE SOMETHING. But what?
My friend at work told me her resolutions this morning - exercise 45 minutes every day, only eat healthy food (she even refused a dark chocolate seashell this morning), and be happy.
Cynic that I am no! you cry, it was all I could do not to roll my eyes and invite her to make an appointment for a couple of weeks' time. Then again, she might do it! I hope she does!
I couldn't. It's too much. I can only get my head around small things at the moment. But my one little thing underlies many other changes that I want. I want to fit exercise into my routine. I want to feel disciplined. I want an incentive to go to bed earlier. See? My one little thing makes so many other things possible. Clever! Win-win-win! And (almost) failure-proof, too
*beams*
What's your one thing? What's the smallest, most basic element of your change?
More anon, treasures!

Words

To start with, may I say a huge THANKYOU for all the kindness and helpful advice in response to my last post. You guys are THE BEST *mwah!*

As you know, here in HTFU City on the continent of LBTEPA on Planet Cranky, we are not given to, nor very good at, manifesting, nor reflecting either if it comes to that. Which is why it may seem odd that we have come up with three words which we hope will sum up the coming year. Why on earth would a confirmed lip-purser and hmph-er at airy-fairy new-age BS (to use the technical term) indulge in such behaviour? Am I drunk? Not at the moment, and if I was I can assure you that I would be even less inclined to such goings-on.
However, I have, as I said, felt lost. I need a map. I need charts, lovely charts full of stuff to tick off. But what stuff? What do I want to do, and more importantly, why? I think I need a big picture to colour in. Even if I don't, I need to change something. 2010's strategy of "struggle on with gritted teeth" isn't sustainable.
So.
In 2011, to be LBTEPA is to be
AN ATHLETE
CONNECTED
SPARKLING
An athlete
- to steal a comment from the mighty Tea, is an athlete, not a hero.
- is consistent-ish. Life happens.
- is careful-ish about what she eats and drinks
- makes workouts happen. They will if I make them, they won't if I don't.
- isn't precious or a diva. If there's only time for 5km when she wanted 7, an athlete doesn't wring her hands and get all "oh woe I am such a loser oh woe" on herself. She gets it done.
- takes physical limitations into account but doesn't let them rule her life
- dreams big, and is patient
A connected person
- friends that new person who's invited her - nothing bad will happen
- makes that call. Yes it's been ages, but tomorrow it'll be even longer
- accepts she'll always think she sounds like an idiot leaving messages but does it anyway
- smiles at people
- blogs regularly
- calls retail staff by their names
- wades through shyness, ego and worry about being pathetically needy to JFDI. Friendliness is everywhere even in a tri club full of skinnyfasts, who'd have thought? if you look
A sparkling person
- smiles a lot
- doesn't buy into staffroom or lunch-table whinge-fests.
- laughs often and loudly and accepts that people will look at her askance when she does so
- speaks passionately and sincerely
- has fears and doubts and neuroses. So?
- does stuff, just because she wants to. No-one really cares. The Not Right Police aren't coming.

I hope this post doesn't have the same effect as those R&M posts in December! I promise I'll tell you about yesterday's meltingly humid run along the river (with Noddie as my drink sherpa on her bike, thank goodness, or I would have died, srsly) and my awesome captaining of my work's tri teams. I'll even show you my chart if you like!
More anon, sparklers!

Lost

The crew of the good Ship LBTEPA would hereby like to issue a distress call. Nothing so severe or dramatic as a "Mayday!" but seriously, We Are Lost. We are eating and drinking like combine harvesters, can't form a positive thought to save our lives and have yet to establish a workable exercise routine. Despite loving our family and new life tremendously and not regretting The Move for one minute, we are so lonely that reading our Christmas cards made us cry because we miss our friends so much. It's a pretty lame scene on the poop deck these days.
We have seen the race shirts for the Olympic Distance tri we were thinking of doing and quite frankly they're not worth the effort. We would like to point out that 'the effort' is not only 1.5km swim, 40km bike ride and 1okm run but also a 600km round trip to Melbourne, and working out what to do with Noddie since J is working. I've never been this heavy and I feel disgusting. It's a big horrid cranky mess.
Quite obviously, I need A Chart. A Chart is The Answer. It's Always The Answer. Charts lead to movement and I'm so tired of being stuck. But what should be on it? Only my five faithful readers, fountain of all wisdom that you are, can help me. What do you do on a daily/regular basis that makes life full of energy and zing and purpose and fabulousness?
More anon - when I hear back from you!
PS I didn't kill the inlaws. It all went superbly :)

questions

1. How was your Christmas? I hope it was fab! Ours was, and continues to flow on into the Spousal Unit's birthday celebrations today. Happy birthday J!
2. How ironic would it be if the utter boringness of that 'reflect and manifest' thingy I was doing - the one during which I identified my word for 20111 as 'connection' - had driven away all my blog reader friends? Is anyone still out there?
3. Can I finish the G@torade olympic distance tri in two weeks, under the cutoff? I have to say, it feels pretty groovy to know I could finish it no matter what, extra lard and post-surgery training slack-o-rama and all. Must find out the bike cutoff time...
4. Can I transform the house and myself into a vision of loveliness and whip up yet another rolling afternoon-into-evening feast in the next two hours, without a) getting stuck into the sherry b) bursting into tears or c) killing my inlaws?
We shall see....
More anon, revellers!

Happy Christmas and all that

Best wishes for safe and peaceful holy season to all my imaginary internet friends.
Ho ho ho!

Out

I'm clearly far too cranky to do something like this reflect and manifest project. I don't feel like talking about myself all the time. I'm stopping.

Prompts 17 and 18

Prompt 17: Lesson learned. What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward?
The best thing I learned about myself this year is my capacity to hold onto a picture of a hopeful future. In comparison with many, we've had an easy ride this year, but, la-las that we are, we struggled. There were dark times. This may sound pretentious, but the majority of the time I lived by and modelled my values. If I didn't, I caught myself and (usually) apologised. I led my family through our winter and here we are, relatively healthy and functional, ready for a happy Christmas and a cruisy summer. Yay.

Prompt 18: Try. What do you want to try next year? Is there something you wanted to try in 2010? What happened when you did/didn't go for it?
This is not my prompt.
I, LBTEPA, am like Yoda:
Try not, young Skywalker. Do, or do not.
I mean, I try small things, like a different cut of sk1ns (naaah) or hot water and lemon in the morning (hmmm) or a new crochet pattern. But Big Projects? I either do them or I don't, and I always know why. I wanted to do two marathons and move across the state and have three jobs and keep on with my Masters in 2010, and I did. I was often scared and full of doubt, but I had A Plan, and faith in it, and there was enough incidental enjoyment going out in the lovely countryside and communing with my sisters in Stupid Determination to make it worth the price in time and fatigue. If it hadn't been worth it or if the price had been too high I would have stopped. Not. Failed.
Next year I want to try.... ummm.... something will come to me, I'm sure! And I'll enjoy it!
What do you want to try?

Prompt 15 and 16

Prompt 15 – 5 Minutes. Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010.
Hokay....
moving, so many boxes! the horiible horrible beige house that turned into our lovely lovely house with a few tins of paint, our beautiful view, poor Jeff being so sick with pneumonia, learning to light the fire and split kindling, training for Gold Coast when it was so hard and I was so sick, finally finishing and being sooooo so relieved, behaving badly all week afterward becuase my head hurt so much sorry sorry to everyone I promise I'll do better next year, realising I had to quit one of my jobs (ahhhh the relief....) finding out my sinuses were f$%^ ed (= there was An Answer), running Melbourne Not Sick!! going sub-six, Grizzly Bear giving me his medal, my spotted blanket at the hospital , Cathy coming to visit me after the surgery, all my good friends from uni, my awesome job gosh I love it, talking to Emma on Skype, writing a million Christmas cards...aaaannnddd that's five.

Prompt 16 – Friendship. How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst?
I learn something important every time I talk to my friend B. She is a profoundly insightful, hugely experienced psychologist who is not only unbelievably generous with her expertise but also hilarious and a pleasure to spend time with. Thanks B!
My comrades in Stupid Determination, Emma and Mrs W, are always inspirational to me. I'm lucky to have them in my life.
*getting all emotional*
That'll do.

Prompt 14

I decided one more OMFG who writes this stuff? prompt and I'm out of here it'll serve me right if I don't manifest anything next year won't it? but I like this one.
December 14 – Appreciate What’s the one thing you have come to appreciate most in the past year? How do you express gratitude for it?
I was going to say this year I've really come to appreciate the Spousal Unit a great deal more than I have in the past - but we had a row last night and I'm a bit off him today :P
No, seriously. I can't appreciate just one thing after such a big year. I appreciate
- J
- Mum
- my friends
- the beauty of my new home
- the determination and intelligence I possess
from the bottom of my heart. I express gratitude for these things by noticing and naming them and by living my best life.

Prompt 13

Prompt 13 – Action. When it comes to aspirations, it’s not about ideas. It’s about making ideas happen. What’s your next step?
Oooh! Oooh! I know this one:
Sorry, bloke, but it IS all about ideas. It's about having an idea and not smothering it with "OMG too hard" or "I'm too busy/old/fat to ever do that". It's about letting your dear little idea out from under "can't do it right now so there's no point thinking about it" or "even though I'd love it I wouldn't be good at it and I'm scared people might laugh"and giving it space and light to grow.
Once you've done that

JFDI

If you have a Big Dream, or even a big Have To, JUST DO IT. Do something. Do ANYTHING. If there's one little thing you can do to take one tiny step toward it, do that. Have an assignment coming up? Get all your stuff out and do the easiest bit. Type the title page if that's all you can stand to do. Next day, do the next easiest bit - set up the reference file, start searching for articles. Do SOMETHING. Have to fold a huge pile of washing? Pick out all the towels and do them; tell yourself you don't have to do the rest unless you feel like it (and who knows, you just might). You want to get fit and strong? Walk for five minutes today - let the dog out so you have to go and get it - or go and sit in the pool or do one situp. Then do it again tomorrow. Keep the idea in your mind and chip little bits of it away. Want to go to Venice for Carnevale? Print out some photos and stick them up, buy a book....do something.

Oh, I almost forgot the most important part. Make excuses, whine, give up, say it's too hard and you hate it and you don't know who ever had such a stupid idea.....THEN DO SOMETHING.

Prompts 11 and 12

Reading these prompts, I am getting the sense that this is a project for someone at a different stage of life from mine.....
and I should probably have started a new blog for this too. For your convenience I'm labelling the 'prompt' posts as such. Normal programming will resume shortly and will be clearly marked!

Prompt 11 – 11 Things. What are 11 things your life doesn’t need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life?
The cliched answer is 11kg! One of the things I could do without is my habit of squashing tiredness and sadness with pizza and wine. There's not much else I'd prune. Most of the 'stuff' in my life is there for a reason - sentimentality, enjoyment, utility, haven't got around to shouting at the Spousal Unit to take it to the tip yet. I cull my clothes, books, linen press and shoe cupboard regularly. I'm pretty careful about not having people close to me in my life who are toxic to me. As my good friend the mighty Emma said, bugger it (or words to that effect), I'm keeping my stuff!

Prompt 12 – Body Integration. This year, when did you feel the most integrated with your body? Did you have a moment where there wasn’t mind and body, but simply a cohesive YOU, alive and present?
First reaction to reading this post: Huh?
Second reaction: I thought mind-body dualism went out in the 1980s.
If I really have to answer this question - and I do, becuase I said I would - I'd say the times I'm closest to just existing are when I'm in the surf. Swimming in the ocean takes all my thoughts and senses and my physical self and pummels them into an exhilarated laughing bundle that eventually lands in a happy weary heap on the shore. Swimming in the pool and riding my bike are similar.

Prompt 10

Prompt 10 – Wisdom. What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out?
Giving up my third job was the wisest decision I made. Although I liked my workmates and my office, I wasn't learning anything and it wasn't very lucrative. My family needed me at home more. It worked out beautifully. I like my home to be an oasis of order and calm hahahaha a girl can dream! The Spousal Unit is worrying less, and Noddie may possibly be less cranky and argumentative. It's difficult to tell.

Prompt 9

Prompt 9 - Party. What social gathering rocked your socks off in 2010? Describe the people, music, food, drink, clothes, shenanigans.
Par-tay number one with a bullet was the Gold Coast Marathon post-race gathering. I'd been so worried and scared and so weary and sad and I was just so f#$%ing RELIEVED to be finished and surrounded by my friends who all understood why I kept wandering around grinning like a fool saying I. am. so. f#$%ing. brave and were kind to me and made sure I had champagne. Clothes? Lots of finisher t-shirts. Food? Wedges ring a bell; there may well have have been pizza. Mmmm...pizza...Music? Bar tunes and I recall some footy (possibly both kinds) on the tv. People? Lots of tired and happy-looking skinnyfasts with varying degress of sunburn, mostly wearing medals. It was also the last time Team SD was together in all its loud fabulousness. Drink? Oh my, yes.
Honourable mention in the party stakes goes to Noddie's circus birthday. And I didn't have to run for six hours to go to that.

Prompt 8

December 8 prompt. Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. Reflect on all the things that make you different – you’ll find they’re what make you beautiful.
It was pursed lips all around at the LBTEPA think tank when our cerulean orbs alighted on the above, but we have decided that this month we're game for anything even Eat Pray Love-esque navel gazing oooh I never said that
So I asked my husband what makes me different? and he said, your spirit of adventure, your determination and your big laugh.

Would it be lazy to leave it at that?
I don't like to think of myself as particularly different - I know my good qualities and I know what I
Anyway, enough of like about myself. Does thinking of my good qualities as 'different' imply judgement of others? Am I overthinking this?
WHAT MAKES ME DIFFERENT
My spirit of adventure. You ask poor Noddie - I'll make anything into an adventure - a ride on a train, a bike ride by the river, a walk, driving on a new road for the first time. I like to express that spirit in other ways as well. I wear bright colours, pretty shoes, lippy and big earrings. I try and notice small things that fill life with pleasure and interest. A marathon is an adventure, from the time you decide to do it to the day you hang up the medal. And then there are the memories...
My determination. I think about something I want to do, then what needs to be done to make it happen and whether I can be bothered putting in the work. This is a less common way of approaching things than you might think - so many people focus on all the things that get in the way of their goal, then decide it's too hard and they can't do it. Eyes on the prize, darls!
My big laugh. I do my living in public (within the bounds of appropriate behaviour of course). I laugh loudly and smile often. I try to live by my principles and to speak up when I think something is wrong. I call things how I see them, which isn't as bad as it sounds becuase I'm inclined to see the good in people. Unless I don't like them. That's a joke.