I'm not A fat panda

I had a good time in the 4km ocean swim on Saturday. My friend Secret Sara had a totally crap time in the same swim, although I didn’t realise it until afterward, or that it was her very first ocean swim ever. At first we were swimming together and I was encouraging her, but then it occurred to me how annoying it must be to have someone constantly yapping on when you’re doing it hard. I thought she’d probably prefer me not to be at her shoulder saying ‘go Sara go’. I tried to stay just ahead of her and wait at each bouy to wave to her so she’d know which way to go, but then every time I waved, the safety boat would roar over because they thought I was in trouble. Then the weather blew up and I was having to concentrate on my own sighting and moving with the swell – and when I got to the next bouy I couldn’t see Sara any more. Every time I stopped I asked the lifeguards if they could see her and they always could; she seemed to be moving steadily, so I kept going. The course was two long thin rectangles; by the short end of the second loop it was getting so windy we were just about swimming uphill. Sighting was a matter of waiting for the top of a swell, line up the bouy and hope for the best until the next one. If it had been that rough when we started I don’t think they’d have let us set off. I became engrossed in the rhythm of breathing and sighting, one two three two two three three two three sight two three, one two three two two three.... It was hard to see the markers on the outermost leg of the course because they were white (stupid stupid stupid when the whole world at water level was pale grey). At one stage it was raining so hard that I couldn’t see the shore, or the bouy, or anyone. I just bobbed up and down in the water for a minute, enjoying the lovely sounds of the ocean and the rain and the feeling of the water…..a beautiful moment. Exhilarating. I peered in the direction I thought the marker should be and there it was, so off I went again. I kept asking the lifeguards if they could see Sara – they always could - and telling them her name and asking them to encourage her for me. She’s so strong and determined that it didn’t occur to me that she wouldn’t be ok. The water got more and more rough. I was just grinning at the sheer magnificent lunacy of it all. I was feeling strong, and happy with my technique, and tired and very cold and worried about Sara as well. I was so happy to round the last marker and be headed in. This was almost the most difficult leg of the race because you had to cut diagonally across the swell. The lifeguards kept telling people to look for the yellow pole but it was almost impossible to see against the coloured bathing boxes – I found the lifesaving club and then sighted on a tall building behind it for a while one two three two two three three two three aha there you are, you bastard until I could see that wretched pole. Once I got to it I could see the finish. It was a mess – they had laid out the cans for the 1.2km race so we had to weave through them, and there were a lot of swimmers warming up as well. I just kept swimming and sighting and watching the red letters get larger and larger, one two three two two three three two three bring it on two three… All too soon my fingertips hit the bottom and I stood up to stagger through the shallows and up the beach. I’ve been spoilt doing triathlons, I think – I was so surprised they didn’t take off my chip! I don't know why I felt as though I was going to be sick, but once the urge had passed, all I could think of was where Sara might be. I squinted out through the rain and all the 1.2km people until I saw a little white cap in the distance. She was still a long way out and moving very slowly so I went out again to swim her in. I nearly had tears in my eyes at how brave she was to keep going when she was obviously exhausted. We got to the shallows and her poor legs were cramping so I helped her up and over the line. I took her chip off and she just started crying and saying she was never ever doing that again, a very sensible response really, so I hustled us off to the change room to start to get warm. I was absolutely shaking with cold. Sara kept saying she wasn’t cold at all so I was worried about that too. It was only when we were getting changed I realised Sara had never done an ocean race before. The other women were so lovely, they were all praising her and telling her that it was a technically difficult course (true) and a really hard day (f#$% yes). Because I have been swimming in the ocean for most of my life I am not scared of the sea. I cannot comprehend how hard that must have been for her out there. To gut it out like that leaves me in awe.
To conclude the swim report, I would like to express how much in love with my car heater I am. When I got home J and Noddie were at a birthday party so I fell asleep on the recliner with the heater on full blast hello? Summer? This is LBTEPA and I would like to ask just when the F#$% you are planning on arriving? Then we watched Kung Fu Panda, now officially my new fave movie. Fave lines:
Tai Lung: You're nothing but a big fat Panda
Po: I’m not A big fat Panda, I’m THE big fat Panda!
.....making a neat segue into Sunday’s triathlon, where I was not just an old slow Athena. I was THE old slow Athena. In answer to Jeanne’s question, you "accidentally" enter a triathlon the day after a 4km swim when you fail to comprehend that Dec 13th and Dec 14th are consecutive days. You’re right, I need to be more big picture. Let me confess that I just wasn't feeling the love on race morning. It rained so hard I was soaked to the skin setting up transition - it was worth my TA membership just to stand in the Triathlon Victoria tent. Some effortful reframing was necessary to avert the complaining-despair death-spiral. My happy place was hiding but I found it eventually. The quickest way to describe things is to remind you of my race report of a couple of weeks ago, subtract ten degrees, double the howling wind, add squalls of stinging sideways rain and take away one Athena so I got first place and a nice new pair of sunglasses. I’m still in love with my car heater.