Dreaming big

I’m going to sound like a complete half-back flanker* but bear with me. I’ve been really surprised at the amount of ‘oooooh you’re doing a triathlon’ I’ve had since I went public with Grand Plan Summer 06-07 (i). Even the Spousal Unit asked me why I didn’t just work at getting better at running. At the moment I’m happy with my half-marathon. I’ll do more of them next winter. I’m going to have a crack at my 10km PB in December but that’s only because I wrote it in my 06 goals, I’ve paid for the race entry, and I’m finding speed training quite enjoyable.
Digression: Yes! Me! Speed training! Running at a speed where you’re puffed! More than once! (how startlingly fun and interesting it was is another whole, probably deeply tedious, post)
Why do I do these things?
I’ve thought and thought and it comes down to this:
I strongly believe in individuals’ responsibility for their own health.
I plan to be one of those mad old bats tearing around doing surprising things when they’re in their 80s, so I need to practice.
I like adventures!
I like being part of huge buzzy events, and occasions and communities where achievement based on honest endeavour is celebrated.
I like projects and having a plan (hello Captain Obvious!)
I like doing things I can show off about (hello again C.O!)
I like to try and do things that scare me a bit , but not too much, but which I think I could probably manage if I work at it. As a mum and in my not-very-high-powered job, my day-to-day life is consumed by minutiae, picking up the endless tide of shite and doing the washing and making sure my colleagues check their first aid kits and do their audits and all that unnoticed and unheralded stuff. So half marathons and triathlons are how I live large and dream big. They’re kind of my secret life.
Do keep the following in mind when reading of my feats of athletic prowess(ROFL*).
I am VERY SLOW. VERY VERY SLOW.
I am lucky and grateful to be in a good place in my life right now. I am no longer suffering from depression, an unhappy marriage, chronic fatigue, or infertility. There’s absolutely no way I could have even contemplated any of my current projects six years ago. Back then, ‘dreaming big’ was walking to the corner, paying our bills and getting a job.
I started running two and a half years ago. I ran 1 minute walked 4 minutes because that’s all I could manage. At that time my aim was to maybe do a 5km one day. It’s all happened in little steps.
I have a very supportive husband and in-laws, and one healthy child.
Uni will be over for the year in 2 weeks so I will have more spare time until February.
It’s the right time for me to do these things.
I’ve really written this because I don’t want anyone else to be thinking, “Oh dear, I should be doing…….” just because I’m doing them. It’s your time to do what you’re doing.
The main thing I've learned is that it's okay to want big dreams and try to make them happen. You might be taking small steps, but each single little one is important and valuable, because it’s taking you where you want to go. By taking little steps you learn that you can dream big. Start with making a small dream come true for yourself, and see what happens. When it's the right time your dreams will grow.
Oh dear, this has gone all Oprah…. sorry, too many cups of tea, an afternoon nap and a brain-explodingly tiresome assignment I’m avoiding. But I’m not going running until I finish the f#$%ing thing so I’d better get stuck into it.
BTW did you notice I've clocked up 800km on my running ticker this year? FIGJAM*, eh?
more anon, dahlings

Why I really do it - my two inspirations.


* = rhyming slang for a tosser
* = Rolling On Floor Laughing
* = F*#% I'm Good Just Ask Me