A satisfying conversation

~In which LBTEPA's best self does not appear~
Last Saturday I was on my way back along the trail working my way through 30km when a couple of perky types breezed past me. I knew one of them vaguely from the tri club and the post office (I live in a small town) but not the other one. They were moving well faster than me of course, everyone does but I was feeling ok so there was a bit of "Hi!" "Hi!" and I thought nothing of it.
About an hour later, near the end of the trail, the two women breezed past again. "Hi!" said I again. I'm known for my originality. Keep going! said the one I didn't know.
There was a pause as I took this in.
Keep going???Keep going??? I left home at 5.30am! GGGRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!! thought I, but said nothing, only waved (breezily). It seemed the thing to do.
Not long afterward I reached the end of the trail where the two breezy types had stopped (ha!) and were stretching. It happened that it was time for one of my walk breaks so I stopped as well, and said
Nice day for it
Yes, it's good to be finished isn't it?
I'm still 5km from home, but I'm looking forward to getting there (see? Still breezy. Not aggressive At All)
Oh! How far have you done?
Umm, I'm running at the Gold Coast in five weeks so I'm doing some long ones now (see? Not showing off At All)
Are you going up for the marathon?
Yes
Are you doing your first full marathon up there?
Umm, no, this'll be my fourth now
(thinks: bwahahahaha, I'll give YOU keep going!).
(notes faintly startled looks, feels extremely smug)
How about you guys?
We're training for a half marathon next weekend!
Oh, are you doing Traralgon? Wow! That'll be great! Have fun!
(thinks: aww, your first half, how sweet).
Better get this finished now, bye!
Bye!

Please note: LBTEPA's Evil Twin has been coaxed back into her cage with tea and toasted sandwiches. Indiscriminate mental rantings at perfectly nice encouraging strangers have now ceased and normal blog service will resume shortly.

More anon, comrades!

Not being one to complain (stop laughing!) I am just going to say how happy I am to have sent off the second draft of my literature review to my supervisor after an 11-hour revise-a-thon yesterday b/c she only sent it back last Thursday - she's expecting, poor lambie and has been a bit off-colour - and the Spousal Unit was working on the weekend and I had to go to Melbourne on Sunday to see my Dad, who is recovering wonderfully thank you God, and the sinus surgeon (all good-ish, just some pesky stuff but we are on to it) and didn't get back until Monday night and had to work on Tuesday morning. Tomorrow when I get it back I'll deal with whatever needs to be fixed up and hand it in. Then all I have to do is my stats exam.
Oh, and train for this pesky marathon thingy I have signed up for and bought plane tickets and booked a hotel......
Look, it is what it is. I've been a bit sad that my (ahem) "readership" has dropped off (grandiosity anyone?) but at least now that not many skinnyfasts read my burblings (hi Wes! Hi Mark! Hi Paul!) I'm not going to get lectured that I'm not respecting the distance because I have fish and chips for tea every Friday and my life ate some of my long runs. And some of my mid-week runs. And a little bit of my cross-training. 42.2km is going to happen on the third of June. It's going to be slow. It's going to be quite painful at some points. But that's ok. You do your impressive, well-organised, amazing 42.2km and I'll clap as you go past. I love seeing really good runners. They are so strong and well-trained and beautiful. But I'm not them, and I am going to do my underdone, slow, cheerful marathon my way.
Mind you this calm could wear off at any time and the AAAAARRRRGGGGGGGHH OMG oshitohshitohshitwe'reallgoingtodie monster could jump out of my head at any time. You have been warned.
More anon, day-trippers!

Well they SAID

There was all this stuff all over the interwebs (so it must be true) about how the end of the world was on this weekend so I thought what the heck, I may as well lash out seeing as it's all puffs of smoke/long white smocks and wings/oblivion from now on - and then some charming WatchTower sellers came around and said it wasn't this weekend after all! But I've already taken the tags off and moved the buttons so I'm keeping it. More anon

Dear Diary

Dear Diary
Last Tuesday I ran out of my thyroid medication. I was a bit disorganised that day no! you cry so I didn't get around to looking in the basket on top of the fridge for the script until Wednesday and realised I didn't have a refill left. Bugger I said, for the rest of the week wasn't looking filled with clear space to go the the drs and get a new one. Then stuff happened, as it does, and I forgot about it again. On Thursday I drove my parents three and a half hours to Melbourne so my Dad could have a heart procedure, just a keyhole thingy, no dramas. Or so we thought cue sinister music dun dun duhnnnn.....
There were three huge blockages and the valve is more buggered than they expected so poor Dad will be having A Triple Bypass and Valve Replacement! Cue wide open eyes and horrified gasp! Well of course we knew that was going to happen said my saintly yet sometimes quite annoying parents, he was far too crook for it to be fixed with stents, we were expecting this and it'll all be fine. They're old no offence Mum, they know heaps of people who've had OPENHEARTSURGERYAARRGGHHH and are now prancing about like young gazelles. That's all very well, say I, but this is My Dad!!!
I love my friends. One post on EffBee and I was inundated with stories about how their Dads/Uncles/Inlaws/friends at work have had OPENHEARTSURGERYAARRGGHHH and are now prancing about like young gazelles. A running friend of mine is actually a cardiac ICU nurse hi DG!!! and she said most of her patients who have had OPENHEARTSURGERYAARRGGHHH are now prancing about like young gazelles and Dad will feel much better really soon. Which is good.
It was pouring on Friday and Dad looked pretty crook all the way home so it was a bit of a strain, especially for Mum b/c I like to sing when I'm driving. Dad's a bit deaf so he was spared. I remembered to ring the Spousal Unit and get him to pop in to the Dr and order a refill for my thyroid medicine because they won't do it over the phone. I had planned to do my long run on Saturday morning, but instead we got stuck into the housework so the house was pleasant and welcoming again. Noddie and I had a massive row about how like an irretrievably spoiled brat she was choosing to behave, and I did a bike workout while J took Noddie to tap dancing. He did the shopping while he was out and came home with some mouth-watering prawns that he made into a delicious curry for tea. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm!
4.45 am came around really quickly on Sunday. I set out in my cool hat with the light in the brim, my camelbak, 1p0d, gels, gloves, the lot. I could tell pretty early it wasn't going to be one of those 'effortless' ones where you just float along (do you ever have them? You do? Bully for you *sulks*) but I'm pretty good at getting the not-super-fun ones done by now. I just felt strange. The curry made plain its displeasure at being awoken and shaken about at such an hour, but there are plenty of trees along the trail and it wasn't really too bad. It was more that I kept going hot and cold for no reason. After a while I felt almost separate from myself. It wasn't like normal tired and leg-weary at all. I was eating and drinking to The Schedule. I was going even more slowly than usual yet still moving! How does she do it? At 18km, all I could think was that I had to sit down. I. Had. To. Sit. Down. So I did.
Yes.
I. Sat. Down.
There are nine Benches O'Temptation on my 30km route. I do an out-and-back so that's 18 little moments of enticement to be given the finger before trudging gamely on. Never, ever before, not once have I stopped and rested on one. I didn't this time either - there wasn't one in sight so I sat on the ground. Just sat there. It was like a strange dream, where I was moving like cold honey and had no choice about it. When I got up again I had no run left. It crossed my mind that a Real Runner would be all Brave and Keen and walk home to Get the KMs On The Legs. After about a nanosecond I gave that idea the flick and rang my mum because the fam was at church. It seemed to take a long time to walk back to the highway. Mum's Jaguar is really comfortable.
Notes to self:
a) don't expect your thyroid medication to kick in overnight
b) DON'T RUN OUT OF THYROID MEDICATION SCRIPTS YOU IDIOT
c) The Spousal Unit's prawn curry is yummy but contra-indicated prior to long runs.
More anon, livers-and-learners!

Oh, come on

Surely I wasn't the only one who looked at this on the bookstall at the market and saw "The Race Leader"?
More anon, slightly-obsessives!

Exceptional restraint

The mind of the female, married, employed, studying, be-offspringed endurance sport afficionado is a complicated place. Take the weekly long run, for example no really, take it, I don't want it hahaha oh no I can't believe I did that sorry. Say, just for example, your would-be Very Slow Marathon runner plans, say, 28km as her long run for the week. This will require well over four hours away from the house. Her kid is seven so can't be left alone for too long and must be in bed by eight pm lest all hell breaks loose on the morrow. It is not the right-thinking VSMr Way to treat her parents or inlaws as free last-minute babysitters who exist to take up the slack on her lack of forethought. The VSMr's husband might be starting/finishing work any time between 6am and 9pm, on any five of seven days. Her only guide to this is a crumpled and scribbled-on roster on the fridge, which is about as accurate as my footy tipping. She also must fit in two mid-week runs, at least two cross-training days and a rest day here and/or there. The latest mid-week run must be two days before the long run. The long run Must Be Done becuase it's 8 weeks until VSM#4 and I was sick last week. It's mother's day on Sunday, which means a 10k, but that can be a trudge-fest if necessary. I'm on a seven year streak of mother's day bling. I'll crawl if I have to. Uni is Just Too Horrible to Mention but is another time-piranha.
To be precise Noddie's new favourite phrase, awww my time management is a sudoku in sanskrit.
So when I spoke to the Spousal Unit yesterday (Thursday) and at the end of the conversation he casually mentioned that he had changed his Saturday shift from a 10am (doable if I leave at Stupid O'Clock) start to a 7am (You're F#$%ing Joking) start, I restrained myself to remarking (in stern tones) that this was EXCEPTIONALLY INCONVENIENT, rather than swearing aloud, bursting into tears or leaving the office and driving home specifically to dong him on the noggin with a wok. I thought that was rather well done.


More anon, Carthaginians! We shall find a way, or make one!

Evolution

This time last year I would have kept going on that run on Saturday morning, and suffered and suffered and suffered and got a lot sicker for my stupidity. The year before I would have spent a lot of energy blaming myself (not being in perfect health all the time is solely and completely one's own fault, no?) and on oh why? oh why? oh woe! oh woe!
This year I'm just irritated and a bit gloomy about being sick for so long, and doing what I can when I can. So go me! Yay! (I think).
In other news:
Project You Don't Want to Have to Admit You Stuffed Up, Do You*? has been going well, with only one confessional sms required in the first seven days. The ante is slightly up this week (hint: chocolate and wine, crikey) but I'm up for it. LBTEPA's crack team of Multivariate Statisticians continue to toil gamely away at the Impossible Assignment, aka OMG I'm Going to Fail*, albeit with frequent breaks for refreshing wallows in the self-pity pool and looking at shoes on the interweb. But Progress Has Been Made*, and that's the main thing. I keep reminding myself that once this b@stard is handed in there's no more course work, and (ahem) "only" two placements and my thesis to do before I am a Proper Psychologist who will finally get paid Proper Money.*
So. Onward! 2-way ANOVA here we come.
More anon, sparklers!

*The Ethics Committee of LBTEPA Institute would like to assure readers that No Capital Letters Were Harmed in the Production of This Post

Because this year I am an athlete, not a hero

You'll be so proud:
Friday
Most of the day - sore face, a bit wheezy, slightly raspy throat. It's a smoky day, it's nothing
8pm - get everything ready for the morning's long run
10pm - tell Spousal Unit I don't feel well. I'm sure I feel better in the morning
10.15 pm - bed
Saturday
1am, 2am, 3am, 4.15 am - wake up and check the clock. I still feel a bit crook, oh well when I get up I'll feel better
5.15 am - get up, get dressed drink tea, eat bread and vegemite etc etc. Think about ventolin and panadol for my poor sore head and tight chest
5.55 am - hit the road
6.05 am - think about ventolin and panadol
6.10 am - go home, go back to bed. There will be other runs.

*accepts rapturous applause*

More anon, big-picture thinkers!

True confessions

Eight-and-a-tiny-bit months from now I am going to
- fly for 15 hours with an 8 year old
- spend 3 days in Honolulu
- fly for fourteen more hours(two flights)to Florida
- get my race packet at a massive expo I've seen photos, it's scary
- walk around a theme park all afternoon
- do a half marathon
- walk around a theme park all afternoon
- do a marathon
- walk around a theme park all the next day
- spend three more weeks touristing and having a splendid time
The eating and drinking habits currently being practiced at Camp LBTEPA do not support these plans. Your heroine would like to point out that she does not consider her weight per se to be the issue. Instead, LBTEPA wishes she could in all honesty describe herself as a poster girl for strong and fit and fabulous, but alas, cannot. She would have to put her hand up in answer to "who feels bloated and tired and heavy?" Although it may sound cool to live by the motto if you can't be a good example be a dire warning, quite frankly this sh*! is getting old woot woot woot Lent is over!!!!!
It's time to smarten up.
Yeah yeah yeah, you say, politely concealing either a yawn or a contemptuous smile, we've heard this before, Mrs All Talk No Action. What's so different about this time?
To be quite truthful: I don't really know.
I'm still going to have the same life, family, job, studies and marathons to manage. I'll still be me, mood swings and what's the point I give up pour me some bubbles and all. But what other options are there? Give up? Not an option! Seeking a healthy, sustainable way to live is the LBTEPA Way, and that's all there is to it. Long Happy Life R Us.
Noddie and I were watching a dvd of the 2007 Ironman World Championships onya Macca! while I did my bike workout I know, that poor child. She said she wants us to do an IM together when she's old enough. I'll be 55 when she's 18. So there's that. Then there's OMG not very long at all oh dear oh dear until Gold Coast, Melbourne, Goofy...... I hope there'll always be another Big Thing on the horizon, and there's no reason why not....if I take care of myself.
Just between you, me and the other four faithful readers, there is one big difference this time. My secret weapon = accountability. Don't worry, I won't be spilling my guts on the interweb and begging your forgiveness! (Ewww. And Not Your Job). A kind friend of mine from the non-virtual world has agreed, God bless her, that if I stuff up on my (not very difficult) weekly goals, I must text her and confess. No BS. No excuses.
Eeek!
I can feel a new phase coming on............

more anon, rainbow seekers!

Things pass

The longer I do Very Slow Marathons and other Glacially Slow Endurance Sports, the more I learn that the the title of this post is true. There's a thread on a running forum that I grace with my presence from time to time, along the lines of "how do you maintain a positive mindset during your long runs?" Keen Helpful Types have provided advice such as run with friends ,vary your route, never run with music becuase it stops you Communing With Nature, run with music, ogle local hotties, remind yourself that every step is making you fitter and stronger and getting you closer to your goals etc etc etc. God Bless their enthusiasm and their little wicking socks.
My answer? I DON'T.
Expecting your old mate LBTEPA to be in a positive frame of mind for the entirety of her long runs is about as realistic as imagining her willingly buying a white car with automatic transmission or leaving the house without lipstick. Not. Gunna. Happen. Recipe for disappointment. Just as a side topic, I find 'low expectations' to be a very helpful strategy in many situations. One is often pleasantly surprised.
Which leads me neatly to Saturday's long run. I don't know whether it was becuase I was coming down with something although you'd think I'd be used to THAT by now LE SIGH or whether I'd actually managed to string together a reasonable week of training prior to the run, but I was a bit leg-weary quite a bit earlier than usual. Like 5kms in. Bugger, I thought to myself, this is gunna be a toughie. And I was right (cue sinister music dun dun dun daahhhhhh).
As devotees of the LBTEPA Diaries will recall, I am lucky enough to run along the rail trail and be uplifted as I sweat by the beauty of the early morning sky, cows, trees, the music of the birds and frogs etc etc. That stuff doesn't always work, you know. If you're really stuck in a head full of I'm so slow, why do I bother, I'm a joke, I'm so fat, what a loser, I hate this, I'm so slow, why do I bother sometimes all the charming cows and delightful frogs in the world can't get you out.
No! you gasp, as well you might. However did our heroine make it through?
She sucked it up, that's how. After trying coaxing (come on, cheer up, you can do this), bullying (FFS* you big la-la stop being such a baby) and reframing (which only works when you know what? this isn't so bad isn't A Lie) - I came to the conclusion that this was just how it was going to be today. Oh well. A cranky noggin and tired legs does not equal stop and go home. Elementary, my dear Watson. Just Keep Going is a case of mind over matter - I hated every step, wanted to stop oh so badly and wished with all my heart that I had a less stupid hobby, but I didn't really mind so it didn't matter. I just kept going and going and going, drinking my water and having my gels and eventually I realised that I was feeling a bit less terrible. Mind you I was very happy when I rang my Mum and she agreed to run the last 6km with me, preventing me from lying down on the path refusing to move or ringing the Spousal Unit for a Lift Home Of Extreme Lameness. If she hadn't got a sniff of the barn and taken off 1km from home, thereby obliging me to chase her, I mean she's 72 for heaven's sake I have some pride we might still be friends.
Lessons from Saturday's 24km:
24km is a long way but slow people get there the same way fast people do - one step at a time.
Realising that you've done this before and didn't die is helpful.
Things pass if you let them.
Even if they don't, you can still Just Keep Going.
Mums are grouse even when they make you run (ahem) 'fast'.
Ice baths cannot be accurately described by persons who have foresworn swearing for Lent*.
More anon, scholars!
*thought-swearwords don't count

Remember

- whatever it is you're struggling with, someone you know will be doing it far better than you and really easily and banging on about it on effbee and/or their blog, which will also be much nicer, cooler and have lots more comments than yours.
- do not take this personally.

So what's happening with all of you these days? I'd love to be thrilled by the awesomeness of your lives!

More anon

Later that day

The wonderfully conscientious people who work at the sinus surgeon's office rang back 4 times I left my phone in the car ok? to tell me that since my surgeon is on holidays they spoke to another surgeon aren't they The Best? who said that prolonged aerobic exercise was ok as long as my nose doesn't get any worse, or (I quote) "uncomfortable".
I see just one problem with that...... you'll have to click on it to see it properly, but it's pretty funny

I put 24 km in the marathon bank this morning, about which - since I must keep writing and writing and writing and writing and writing -
more anon, teeth gritters!

Oh c... I mean b.... I mean oh dear

Giving up swearing for Lent is still a challenge. Bring on Easter Sunday, I say - I'll be hopping around the front yard with my bunny ears on dropping the F-bomb like it was chocolate eggs.
When I haven't been working/mumming/spousing/training I've been writing and writing and writing and writing to try and keep up with what I thought was the timetable for my uni assignments...until I actually checked it today and found that The Big One (5000 words, 100% of the unit) is actually due three weeks before I thought it was. I feel sick. HTFU time Has Arrived.
Training for VSM #4 is going well thanks for asking, although the Bastard Sinuses remain a presence. Someone asked me how the antibiotics had worked and I said, oh, really well, it's all good except my nose is still bleeding a bit and my face is pretty painful....
...there was a pause as she looked at me as though I'd said my nose is fine, EXCEPT IT'S ON FIRE. Which in effect I had. *slaps self on head*
Reality has sunk in, gentle readers. I'm waiting to hear back from the surgeon's office about the advisability or otherwise of frequent prolonged aerobic exercise (see Marathon Training, above).
Le sigh....
Breathing in, breathing out, writing writing writing writing panicking writing writing......
More anon

Let the panicking begin

Rewards

Yesterday the Spousal Unit had an early shift = no morning workout for LBTEPA. These things happen
Sad things happened to three people I know.(ditto)
One made me really ANGRY as well, because I feel so helpless about the whole stupid mess mind you it didn't happen to me and it's really none of my business
So being the impressively balanced person and dedicated athlete that everyone so admires, *coughbullshitcough* I had a good cry and then dived into a big pile of pizza and chardy = no evening workout for LBTEPA if you can't be a good example be a dire warning I suppose
I set the alarm but forgot to click the button good thing I think the subconscious is a load of cr@p eh?
I had a really nasty nightmare altogether now boohoohoo poor baby
and woke up at the veerrryyy end of the available-time-to-run window, just a teeeensy bit dehydrated *coughbullshitcough*
and in the most savage of moods. In these circumstances, as a rule, more sleep = good
unless...
the Spousal Unit was on a late shift = no evening workout for LBTEPA = whine all you want but get your lardy arse the expletive out of bed (I'm hanging in there with the 'giving up swearing for Lent' thing, as you can see) and on the road.
For my pains (and don't think there weren't any, cause there bloody were), I got the most beautiful sunrise you ever saw.
I don't think it meant anything but it was nice.
86 days until VSM#4, and 274 days until The Stupidest Idea EverTM


More anon,cross-dressers*
*coz by crikey I was cross this morning when I got dressed. These things happen

Satisfying

Let me start with an enthusiastic round of applause to my friend the amazing Secret Sara who completed Trailwalker yesterday! Well done you legend!
The Bastard Sinuses are really putting up a fight this time Ha! I, and my antibiotics, laugh with scorn at them! Haha! so I'm running at about 75% energy at the 'mo. These things happen. No dramas apart from daylight savings ending sob - and by the way, summer 2010-11, that was a poor effort! Booo! and Noddie still getting up at the same time. Le sigh. I still put 22km in the marathon bank, and finished another piece of uni work from the now-ever-so-slightly-less-daunting mountain.
I ran along the rail trail yesterday. It's so pretty there, and level, and there are no cars excuse me LBTEPA, Captain Obvious would like his cape back which makes it much easier to switch off and kind of float on top of the physical effort. I was talking to some blokes at a work thing during the week who could not comprehend how moving doggedly along for 3+ hours could be something I look forward to. I could only give them the same answer I gave Noddie when she asked me did you enjoy your run Mummy? I replied it was satisfying on many levels. Poor kid.
I don't run for fun. Running for a long time is not fun. I run because I like it. I like being strong and (relatively) healthy and doing hard stuff that takes a long time to prepare for. I like showing off and feeling a bit smug and surprising people when they ask me what I do in my spare time, and I'm prepared to work bloody hard for that! I like having something in my life that's just there becuase I want to do it. No other reason. It's mine.
And there's the bling too of course.

....did I mention the bling? Oh. I did. Sorry.

Someone else asked me why I do marathons rather than, say 10k races. I told her, I do a 10km, I'm pretty much always going to be at the back of the pack. I run a marathon, I'm still at the back (of the back of the back) of the pack but I've done a marathon. I can't explain it better than that.
Or maybe with this

More anon, lunatics!

Maaaaaaaaate....

Maaaaaaaaaate......
There is just So Much Going On at Schloss LBTEPA. I am almost speechless with feeling overwhlemed, and since bleating maketh not for a good blog, I have shut myself away from you, my five faithful readers. But you know what? No more. Best brace yourselves.
After a week of bleah, I've got over the Bastard Sinus Infection from Hell, which I must say was a pale shadow of its previous incarnations. I also must point out that it's been six months since I was last really crook, which is unheard of here at the LBTEPA Centre for Disease Control. I've been to Melbourne for a couple of days for uni don't get me started on how shabbily we are being treated now that the course is no longer taking students grrrrrrrrrrr and realised that I have so much work to do that between now and mid-June Noddie and the Spousal Unit might just as well get used to pushing pita bread under the study door
*fans self at the frightening enormity of it all*
Ooh ooh ooh!! I meant to tell you!!!! Not only did we shell out for our tickets to the US during the week, but I also signed up for Goofy! It. Is. Really. Happening. The entries have been open for a couple of weeks but the link to the size chart for the race shirts was broken for a while and I wasn't taking the chance of getting the wrong size. Stop laughing! This little jaunt is expensive and I want mementos that I can wear to the shops for years to come.

Ok for shops

Not ok for shops

It's 96 days until VSM#4 and all I can say is AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!! I did 20.5km on Sunday morning, after getting off the train at 10pm the previous night ('coz I'm just hardcore like that) *snort*. In my infinite wisdom, rather than a nice out-and-back along the rail trail (shade, level, asphalt) I chose to do a point-to-point to the inlaws', where Noddie was staying because J was on an early shift blah blah blah boring domestic minutiae. From now on when I drive or ride my bike along a charming country road chockers with scenic vistas etc etc I will notice whether there is any verge to the road (a clue: no) or a noticeable and irritating camber most of the way (clue: yes). It was good to get into that almost peaceful mindset where there's a long way to go and there's nothing you can do about it and it's not a bad day really and it doesn't hurt that much. Mind you this reverie was frequently interrupted by %$&#*! A car! Jump into the bushes! but that was ok too. I got there in one piece. I'm glad I don't have to do a marathon today.
Back to the study now. I don't really care for pita bread that much.
More anon, big dreamers!

We have rummaged down the back of the couch

and paid our airfares to the US next January! Floridaand Hawaii, here we come!
I recognise that I will quite likely become more excited as time goes by, but quite frankly I can't see how.
More - much more - anon, adventurers!

Still here

...that should actually read Still here? So am I! How are you all? Keeping well?
As my five faithful and astute readers will have noticed, there has been little blogging at Chateau LBTEPA of late. This is becuase your hero is quite determined that this year will not be one tedious OhnooonotagainI'msickandcan'ttrainwoeisme post after another. So now that I am sick (and the above, I must confess has been a recurring motif in my thoughts and conversation), I've been a bit stuck for words, and energy for that matter. To be quite honest I've been riding the self-pity train all the way to Poor Me City. Trust me, you don't need to read about that.
But still
- it's been six whole months since the last Attack of the Bastard Sinuses. My five faithful readers will recognise that this is A Very Long Time between antibiotics for me. Hurrah!
- having the Best Sinuses Money Can BuyTM makes a huge difference. With this much room in the schnozz area, all I have to put up with is feeling weak and sick and a bit of pain, not OMGifImovemyheaditwillexplodepleaseshootmenow. Again I say, hurrah!
- although I'm very disappointed at missing the tri club championship race tomorrow, if Chrissie Wellington can suck it up cheerfully and graciously, then so can I. These things happen.
Now it's 15 weeks until VSM #4. I'm Quite Excited and also Quietly Confident. Let me tell you why.
The other week I set out on my first Long Run of this campaign (don't laugh, that's what I call them, it makes me feel all Napoleonic). Things did not bode well, my friends. Noddie and J dropped me off 14.5km from home while they went out in the boat (no chance of a lift home). It was 1pm (getting to the warmest part of the day) and smoky from the bushfires (not the best conditions for The Best Sinuses Money can BuyTM even at their efficient best). I couldn't get my shoe tied properly. My hip hurt. My water belt kept slipping. This whole marathon thing was a joke, I was a joke and what was I thinking putting myself through this humiliating BS again? It was a true blue whingefest all right. And then....
I remembered how to run. It didn't get easier and I don't think I got faster, but something in my head changed and I realised I know how to do this. Just Keep Moving. Think about your form and your breathing. Listen to your music and enjoy the scenery, the paddocks and the cows and the river and the trees. Run three, walk one. Let it hurt as much as it hurts and take as long as it takes. It was a good run, in the end. I've done another one since. It was good too.
More anon, cheerful pressers-on!

Tuesday ten

I used to live in Japan, not that that makes me anything special or any more or less shocked and appalled by what's happened there. When I think of how densely the (by our standards) flimsy dwellings are packed together and how flat the land is, I just feel sick. I've had to practice what I preach and limit myself to the occasional look at a news site. Thankfully, our dear blogger friend Kathryn is safe.
It's hard not to dwell on all these awful, awful things that have happened so close together. It's hard not to think that the world is an awful place and wish that 2011 would just finish the (*insert expletive here: I have given up swearing for Lent so I can't help you*) up and go away.
But we can't, and we mustn't. We can't pretend the world is kind and that bad things never happen to good people, but we must also notice the things that bring joy to our lives. I'll start.
Today I appreciate
- my fab new work pants, that I bought online (eek), arrived in 3 days and look awesome.
- J planting the rose I bought at the market
- I got the washing in off the line before the rain hit on Sunday night.
- It's so sunny today!
- Our budgie is chirping his little head off, such a pleasant sound
- a client cancelled just before lunch so I got the groceries-servo-pharmacy run done (= won't have to drag Noddie around after school)
- my placement for next semester has been approved!
- I saw the sun rise when I was out on my bike this morning
- Red shoes
- the Spousal Unit and Noddie
That's my ten.
What's good in your life today?

More anon, groovers!
Please note: normal programming will resume shortly. Oh my do I have some running stuff to faff on about!