Oh my but I have SUCH lot to write - so many (ahem) 'profound' thoughts to record for posterity!
But today I have a question for you, my five faithful readers.
Just suppose you were a heavyish middle-aged-ish Very Slow Marathoner who had A Big (and very expensive) Dream of running an amazing race in a Magic Kingdom on the other side of the world. Suppose you worked hard and saved up and trained and dreamed of little else for a couple of years. And just suppose fate cruelly snatched that Big Dream from you by way of a last-minute injury, while still obliging you to travel across the world and keep a stiff upper lip while your nose was rubbed in what you couldn't have.Suppose you did this with as good grace and as much gratitude as you could muster, becuase life isn't all about you, and returned home, and got on with life, and then had another injury, one that sometimes seemed endless. Sometimes you wondered if you would ever get your athletic life back again, ever. And always, always, you got on with stoically mourning that Big expensive Dream on the other side of the world.
Then suppose you had travelled several hours to celebrate the birthday of a someone who you would have considered one of your dearest, closest, have-your-back-no-matter-what friends, with whom you have shared many trials and tribulations over these fifteen years and to whom you speak regularly. During conversation at this dinner party it came up that she herself was going across the world to run at the magic kingdom next January. Seven weeks from now she will be wearing those three medals that you so longed for.
She'd never heard of the race until you told her about it.
It sold out in August and she has only mentioned it to you yesterday becuase someone else made a comment.
She's extremely well off and could afford to do any race on the ****ing planet if she wanted to.
She's done two half marathons and one full to date.
Now suppose that some time over the next frozen day you decide that, whilst acknowledging unreservedly that she has every right to go wherever she pleases, you don't need people like that in your life.
Question: do you tell her you never want to see or hear from her again and she sure as F*** better not wear her Team SD shirt to run Goofy, or just very determinedly and politely (for that is the LBTEPA way) let the friendship go?
The vote here at chez LBTEPA is tied. I'm torn, but leaning toward the latter approach. You?
More anon, cogitators!
7 comments:
I have been through something similar. This might be immature, but I quietly ended the relationship. If she called, I was short. When she texted me, I did the same. Then, I put her on my restricted list on FB. Mature? No. But, that's what I did.
I have to say I am not mature at all and would have to ignore her until at least May next year and if you haven't missed her too much then no problem.
Was she trying to protect your feelings by not telling you?
Sara
I would go with the latter.
But would, had I not already, enquire why she had not mentioned this previously. That answer may or may not change my approach. More likely may not change anything but you never know.
Chris
If you decide that you don't need this relationship in your life, don't put any more energy into it, just let it go.
I'd go with the latter. I no longer open up a situation to discussion unless I'm prepared to go into those discussions and nut things out - ie. if I think the friendship deserves saving.
If you had a long history and were good friends, I would not necessarily let the friendship go over this.
Perhaps let her know how you feel. It might not have occurred to her that you would be upset.
take a break and think about it.
Sorry to hear that.
What would I do, or what do I think I should do?
What I wish I would do: Be happy for her.
What I probably would do: Avoid her calls and secretly hope she twists an ankle, and then feel like a jerk.
What I hope: That you someday, not too far from now, get to do the races and have your own medals.
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