Now I suppose I'll have to get one of those countdown doovers

Damn you, online entry! How many more times will I rue my impulsivity? How many days left until October 7th?

This thing has A CUTOFF TIME AT 11KM!
If I make it, I get to do a lap of the MCG!!!!!!!
I can pretend I'm Kerryn McCann.

I feel faint.

MUCH more anon, big dreamers.

Back away slowly

If I were you I'd be retreating as fast and as far as possible from the cesspit of infection that is Chez LBTEPA, spraying disinfectant as I went.
Noddie's sniffle has progressed to a fruity cough, although that didn't stop her riding her little bike all the way down our hill to the creek yesterday, and along the path and back (but not up the hill. She's not stupid). Her bike has trainer wheels; I fear what will happen when they come off because I already had to run to keep up with her! She's such a game little thing - after we got home she flaked it on the couch for a good hour.
J has a nasty cold which of course means he thinks he can loll about watching TV while grunting monosyllables, and I have a stupid infection requiring antibiotics. After I finish this post I'm off to G00gle whether I should be training this week. I usually follow the "above the neck" rule but I don't know how that goes with antibiotics... It's a good thing we are all healthy and recover quickly.

You would really be far better off nipping over to visit geekgirl, Simlin and Nancy and congratulate them on their great races this weekend!! Well done all of you!

In closing, I'd just like to say WOOF WOOF WOOF!

more anon, diehards

Sniffly Saturday

Noddie has had the sniffles and a cough the last couple of days so we have put in some solid sessions of Playschool in front of the new heater - the latter, BTW, which has usurped my electric blanket as one of my top three favourite things in the house, along with my mp3 cause it makes me run, and the computer because that's where all my friends live. I never said I wasn't fickle.
I am steadfastly defying any viral invasion with echinacea, patented cold remedies, vitamin C, plenty of water and sleep, and exercising as though The Schedule was the Gospel. So far so good.
Just wanted to share a really nice moment with you - I was running this morning (oh how casually she writes that!) when the sun came up, and I was all washed in gold! My elongated shadow was my playmate in that fiery, gorgeous world. It was a moment of joy and it's made me smile all day.
I'd best be orf - it's playdough time, woo hoo! I might let Noddie have a go later.
More anon, strivers :)

Make 'em laugh

How to make people laugh
- overdo it on the bike in February
- rehab shins, calves and achilles in March
- sprain your ankle really thoroughly in April
- rehab that
- run twice in 10 days as your only preparation for a hilly two-loop 8km
- forget your 5/2 run/walk plan; run all the way!
- walk around again with your kid
- imbibe injudiciously most of the afternoon
- sit down at your desk most of the next day
- attempt to walk down stairs while people are watching
Voila - helpless giggles from the assembled throng!

Maaaaaaaaate........
Ow ow ow ow
I haven't felt this much of a dill since....um....
But....
I don't care! It was a SPLENDID day! And after the bike last night and the pool this morning I am much better! And my medal is in my pocket because it makes me feel happy!

Does swimming in the morning make you hungry? It's not long since lunch and I could gnaw my own arm off.

more anon, carb-cravers!

Happy Mother's Day

This will be short because I'm pretty tired, the Bulldogs won in a thriller, and I had to spend the afternoon with my m-i-l so I've had a couple* of sherbets.
*ok, more than a couple. But for the best possible motives.
I love my Mum. I do my best to be a good Mum to Noddie. I had a magnificent example.

It was a beautiful morning that turned into a golden day. Mum was stoked with her 4km time; my 8km was slow but I was happy with it, considering. Noddie was a complete legend doing the 4km walk, although we spent some time being 'trains' - Lara was the driver, Mummy was the weary carriage and Daddy was the engine, pulling us all up the steep bits! My ankle is tired and a bit painful but not at all sore. Phew.

Now if you are lucky enough to have your Mum nearby, go and hug her and tell her you love her.
More anon, my friends.

Noddie's very first race number

*wipes tear from eye*
I'm so proud.

Tweaking

Firstly, get thee hence to Wes’ page and shower him with praise for finishing his very first triathlon!!
Secondly, THANKS for all your comments; as you know, I LIVE for attention LOL.

An ebay-free existence is weird. I am quite horrified at how much time I spent trawling for size 10 red shoes and size 14 wrap/crossover tops!

So, LBTEPA, how are you getting on with your stars, I hear you ask? I didn't hear you ask? Oh well...... you may want to skip this next bit...up to you of course...
In my tweak-it-‘til-it’s-perfect way, I have amended the criteria somewhat.
- physio exercises and stretches every day. No calf raises, no star.
- as far as possible, cheerfulness! I feel so very flat lately that this is a hard -but clearly important - habit of mind to maintain.
- eat like a lean person – start when I’m hungry, stop when I’ve had enough. Food as fuel and pleasure not anaesthetic against agitation or anger.
- no impulse buys. This is a bit complicated, but I have decided that one lunch and one coffee each week is ok. No earrings unless they are astonishingly fabulous AND better than the ones I am wearing, no lipstick, and NO beads! Mmmmm…beads…….
- un-stupid drinking. You know what I mean.
Nothing too hard, nothing too easy. Everything is aimed at longer-term goals – lose weight, throw a lifebouy to my plummeting mood, smarten up my finances, recover from this injury stronger than before etc etc – but gives me immediate rewards. I can have a star if I judge that I've put in a fair dinkum effort on all these things.

I am NOT talking about running because I am SULKING. My ankle has been all sore and sting-y and unpleasant since Saturday and I am going back to my physio tonight so he can tell me everything is normal and it’s ok and I didn’t do anything bad to it.

For the last four or five Sunday nights, I have put my swimming stuff near the door ready to go to the pool before work next morning. And for the last three or four Mondays I have got out of bed at the usual time and shamefacedly put my swimming bag back in the wardrobe.
Yesterday morning ........
*drumroll*
I got up early and went swimming! It was just lovely!I like this photo so much I put it up as the wallpaper on my work pc

What small victories have you had lately? Go ahead, talk yourself up! You deserve it!

More anon, back-patters :)

3 things

1. I am eschewing ebay because I have been using it to soothe myself when I'm agitated or despondent at uni or work. That's not what it's for. It's for reaffirming my status as a bargain-finder of legendary repute.



2. I made this for Noddie yesterday and felt all sentimental because I can remember my Mum making me a sock puppet. I'm sure I didn't call mine Daniel though.





3. I went for a run this morning.
*beams; exudes glow of quiet satifaction*

The things you learn...

If I was one of those impressively athletically successful people my blog would be bursting with impressive workouts, graphs and race reports.
If I was one of those madly keen weight-loss champions my blog would be full of recipes, charts and profound thoughts on my relationship with food.
If I was one of those wonderfully philosophical parents, my blog would be an oasis of reflection, learning and adorable family anecdotes.
Tough luck on you guys, eh? If that level of focus and excellence is what you're after, click on a few of my 'good reads' - those people are a source of inspiration to me every day. And you are too. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate what you write in my comments, I really can't.
I digress.
I like to have goals. Now that I am temporarily without them, I have realised that having things to look forward to that excite me, that involve effort and measurable improvement, is one of my great pleasures. It's been really hard just waiting patiently for my ankle to heal. I want to plan, and train, and get excited! I have not run even once yet. I'm a bit scared - ok, ok, petrified out of my mind - of what will happen when I do. BTW it's not fear that's stopping me - like the lovely Jeanne, I await, and await, and await medical permission to hit the footpath.
One thing I am really looking forward is the Mother's Day run. I urge anyone who's never done it to show up, do something for breast cancer, and enjoy an amazing, beautiful experience. It's such a tremendous atmosphere, I just love it. My plan is to run 3min walk 2. After my Mum does the 4km and I've finished the 8, we will meet up with J and Noddie and do the 4km walk - Noddie's second race as an official entrant!! I've got her an event t-shirt and she'll get her own bling too. I know I should use my powers for good and not evil, but I want her to be as hooked on big races as I am, mwahahaha...
In the "Why can't the new things we learn about ourselves as we get older be all good?" category:
I am an impulse buyer when I am under stress.
I didn't know this. I'm usually a really disciplined shopper. But the siren call of my four letter friend - no actual shopping, no actual money - has ensnared me. When I worked out how many clothes I've bought in the last three months I cringed. In a beautifully-dressed way. But still.
So the plan is this.
NO EBAY FOR TWO WHOLE MONTHS. That should be long enough to bring that nasty habit to its knees. Roaaaaaaar!

More anon, Scrooges!

That'll teach me

If you need the word 'smegged' explained to you, the best thing to do would be to get a dvd of the utterly hilarious BBC series Red Dwarf.
For those who must know now, a brief explanation: the word is used in much the same way as other vulgar euphemisms. Some examples: 'smeg off!'; 'can't be smegged'; 'this smegging piece of smeg still doesn't work, even after I've wasted the whole smegging evening reinstalling the smegging operating system'.
Research has found no ascertainable connection with expensive kitchen appliances.
As far as conjugation goes, you can bung it in pretty much anywhere. Mostly it just makes you sound like a bit of a half-back flanker, as I have helpfully demonstrated. Don't say I never do anything for you.

Now do let's LET IT GO, and talk about me instead.
My star tally is up to ten, which means that my eating/ drinking/ spending/whingeing have been on track for well over half the time. This is good.
My research proposal, ethics and funding submissions have been slapped into submission and handed in on time, despite my having to reinstall my stupid computer's operating system.
And best of all, my hop count has also reached ten! Not long now until we are free again, my pretties ...not long now....

more anon, barnstormers!

Acting As If

Positive? Moi? Why thanks darls!
It's been hard to write lately because I have been feeling so up and down.
It might all seem relentlessly positive; that's because that's the mindset I am trying to create for myself. Underneath there's always that little voice....
I am so sad that my ankle hurts and feels weak and unstable
I'm talking big about the Mother's Day run but I am NOT confident about doing it
Hurting myself again would be really bad
When did my waist turn into a beanbag?
Do you really lose all ability to lose weight when you turn 40? That WAS sudden!
I hope I'm not hurting myself with my new cleat position
My house is a mess
I feel like such a failure

I can't live like that. Boring, waste of energy, unattractive...you fill the gaps
So the plan is this...

I am Acting As If these are true

I am strong and healthy and I heal well.
I am lean and I drop weight easily.
I am determined and capable.
I am cheerful, and always look on the bright side.


I know it makes for boring posts, but it gets me by.
And by Acting As If, I will Make It So.

I coudn't be smegged vacuuming yesterday so I moved all the furniture around instead :) My house is still dusty but much more chic.
On our Saturday Train Adventure today, I took Noddie up the Rialto Tower. I love being up high!

Important stuff.

I think one of the very important things ANZAC day teaches us is to apply some perspective to our small troubles, and to give thanks for our blessings. We can all do with more of that.
Lest We Forget.


I am cross with myself because my stupid ankle is a bit tweaky after I didn't-even-roll-it-just-lost-balance-off-a-curb yesterday during Noddie's and my 6.5km Epic Adventure Walk to Daddy's Work And Back. It took us about 3 hours, what with detours through Secret Parks, stops to turn Teddy's pram into a train (Noddie's obsession du jour; at least when it was a train she didn't want to leave it behind in someone's front yard), a sausage-in-a-roll picnic in Bunnings' car park, and we've-counted-twenty-houses-so-it's-time-for-another-bikkie breaks. Gosh that kid is a trouper. I was so proud of her I nearly cried.

I've been feeling a bit fed up all this week, for no real reason, but am remaining true to the LBTEPA code of stoic cheerfulness and have earned a few more stars. Hey, you remember I was fancying myself as a bike guru? I cannot BELIEVE the difference moving my cleats back 1cm has made!! Oooh I felt so strong and powerful as I trundled along on Minerva yesterday! And guess what? I think the mothers' day fairy might be getting me a biomechanical bike fitting! Bliss!*does excited girly hand flap*

Best be orf now chaps, as I have to get something vaguely resembling a 2000-word research proposal done by tomorrow afternoon.

More anon, bibliophiles!

We're baaaack!

Minerva and me, we're back on the road, bay-beeeee! Woooo hoooooo!
My wonderful physio, he of Infinite Powers of Healing, has Spoken. And he has Said that Minerva and I may once again ride out through the land. And the people (well, me) rejoiced!
He also said when you can hop you can run. People with IPoH make obsure pronouncements like that. But don't you worry boys and girls, hop I shall.... Project Skippy is underway as we speak - I'd tell you about it, but the details are so top secret I'd have to kill you... well actually they're so boring you might die, involving as they do tiresome and repetitive exercises on steps. Moving on.



So Minerva came in from the back verandah and was dusted with a baby wipe and had her tyres pumped up. Then I rode her dowwwwwwwnnnnnnnn the big hill we live on to see if I could remember how to use the flicky-flicky gears (I could), then uuuuuuuupppp the big hill we live on to see if it was any easier than last time (it wasn't puff puff pant pant). Then off we went out into the wind and the fresh air and the spits of rain and I felt more alive than I have for weeks. *beams*
Now my glutes are tired, but that's good because it means I'm actually using them now LOL. Three guesses as to how I overused my calves so badly *pouts*. Life is so full of possibilities for biomechanical error, isn't it? My ankle feels a bit sore from twisting my foot to unclip, which is a bit of a worry, but I will think about it later. Since I'm fancying myself as a bit of a bike guru these days (hahahahahahaha) I'm going to move the cleat on my right shoe back about 5mm to see if it fixes the unbalanced feeling when I pedal. Tres fascinating, no?
My next post may be from gaol as the Spousal Unit has been giving me such SERIOUS 'tude* about picking up after himself lately that I may have to have him taken out.

More anon, bipeds**
*Ooooh I am so scary and gangsta LOL
**and a big hello to any quadrupeds who may be reading as well! Everyone is welcome at Chez LBTEPA, we're not picky AT ALL

and on a more cheerful note,

'cause cheerfulness is our raison d'etre here at chez LBTEPA...*

check out my new poster boy for the slow, the lardy and the proud. What a legend! Be inspired by his big dream here!

More anon, trundlers!
*By this I mean no disrespect whatsoever to those affected by the Virginia Tech tragedy. It's just how I cope with the world.

Rant, interrupted

I was going to have a rant about this (alleged) despicable, contemptible behaviour - even in football there has to be a line which players have too much self-respect and humanity to cross -
but then I heard about the dreadful tragedy at Virginia Tech, and I didn't have the heart.

When you go out, smile at the next person you see.
Let someone in before you in the queue or the traffic.
Ask a stranger who looks upset if she is ok.
Hug your beloved spouse and child and tell them you love them.
Speak out when the basic humanities are disrespected.
Always choose to be kind.

Love one another.

Star light, star bright

If my whiny evil twin was in charge today this post would be all
My ankle is a mess
It hurts to walk, it’ll be forever until I run again or even get on the bike
Why do I f#$% everything up all the time
It will take eons to get fit again
I nearly weigh The Number again and I don’t care,
Why don’t I care? Because I am lazy and I suck
No wonder I have no friends/am so fat/have such awful clothes etc etc
Oh woe is me, oh woe!
(and you, my dear long-suffering readers, would be saying, there she goes again…)
But
That crybaby sooky-arse la-la has been banished to the sleepout, and I am running the show, mwahahaha!
And I have A Plan!
Like my poor Bulldogs (another football team for you, Wes) I need to get Back To Basics. What things are contributing to the downward slippery-slope of sloth and lardiness? What can be done about them?
Currently, pain + inactivity + other stresses = helplessness = eating and drinking and whining.
There is little to be done about the first two for the moment, as activity is pretty much restricted to what my ankle will take, which is not much. Rest, Ice, Compression, Elevation and Patience. And Stretching. So that would be RICEPS. Or PRICES. Anyway. On to the rest of the sorry equation.
I know what works for me in terms of motivation and habit change. Small changes. Failure-proof, a-bit-hard-but-not-too-hard goals. Regular small rewards. What can I do that will give me all these things? Aha!
*drumroll*
Star Stickers!


I knew you'd be impressed.....

In order to get one of these little treasures on my calendar, I must
- stretch and do my physio exercises
- STOP when I realise I’m eating from tiredness or anxiety or anger
- Seek the support I need from J.
- challenge ‘it’s no use, you may as well give up’ thoughts.
- not more than one alcoholic drink, and most importantly
- strive for cheerfulness!!!

Don’t laugh – actually, laugh if you want to, it’s not your motivation that has gone AWOL! This will be the magic that transforms the LBTEPA universe!! So far (three days into the experiment) “Star Days” have made me smile as I rebuild my physical and mental strength. I *heart* my star stickers!

More anon, twinklers!

the horror, the horror

Let it be stated at the outset that I have nothing but admiration for those plucky souls who are publicly taking charge of their own health on The Bigge$t Lo$er. Nor would I presume to criticise those people who find the program inspiring - everyone is entitled to her own opinion, and yes, sometimes something is edited in that is quite moving. The show repels me on the grounds that it seems to me superficial, voyeuristic, emotionally manipulative, discouraging and occasionally dangerous in its advice. Not to mention that "...we'll find out after the break..." shite....aarrgh...come orrrn AJ, you're a legend, why are you doing this?
So imagine my dismay when, after eight years of blissful cohabitation, I found that my dear Spousal Unit - friend of my bosom* and helpmeet in life's vicissitudes - had turned to the dark side. He cannot miss his daily B L fix. I could not be more appalled if he'd taken up smoking, started voting for Our Glorious Leader or ditched his beloved Pies for the northern code. What to do? What to do? Luckily a) that show is on at Noddie's story time so I have a legitimate excuse for leaving the room, and b) it can't be on for much longer, surely....
but then , J has gone back to the gym this week for the first time in four years. So what do I know?
In ORN (Obligatory Running News - all the coolest blogs have it, just ask Wes) ...errr... there isn't any. The floppiness of my rainbow-hued ankle has concerned my physio to the extent that he is treating it like a grade 2 sprain.That's me on the exercise bike for the next two weeks at least. No permanent damage, though. No worries. Nothing worth getting upset over, no?
Upset, no, appreciative of quantities of champagne, yes....

I am lying. I'm a bit upset. My heart has cracked a little bit, the way it does when the universe gives you ar wee reminder of its haphazardness. But not to worry. As Noddie would say, these things happen.

LBTEPA'S ATTITUDE FOR APRIL = cheerful and stoic.



More anon, hippety-hoppers!

*He just read this over my shoulder and said, "I'll say, rwowr!" Pervert.

what not to do on your holidays

DO go to the races with your family

and have a lovely time

DO NOT trip over and alarm your dear mother while running

IF YOU MUST have a cold bath, make sure you have a classic to read and something nice to drink

DO apply a compression bandage after icing a bruise. It works a treat and I am almost all better today :)

DO empty your pockets before getting into the bath :(

Goodbye, my little red companion!

*TUESDAY MORNING*
It works again!

Hi ho, hi ho

..it's off to work I go....
The bowels of the uni library are my home for today, as I avoid dirty bathrooms and crumb-y rugs and unpacked weekend bags, instead facing up to unread articles and an unwritten research summary. Wait! What's that?
*NEENAWWNEENAWW!!! NEGATIVITY ALERT! NEGATIVITY ALERT!*
If I was to hear Noddie bleating like this (unlikely, although her vocabulary is increasing - she was in the back yard 'helping' the Spousal Unit hang out the washing when she pointed at his Shed O'Shite and told him it was disgraceful hahahaha...suck it up, J, cos she's not wrong...) I would ask her, how can we say that in a cheerful way?
Hmmmm...
I think I have my head around my thesis argument, I just have to write it down. I can do that.
Tomorrow we're going to Mum and Dad's for the weekend.
My achilles tendons, shins and calves are ever so pleased with all the stretching they are getting, so I have been able to run three times this week!
*short pause for happy dance*

Hot cross buns exist.
On Sunday we rejoice in the resurrection of love and hope.
What's not to be cheerful about?
Bugger, grumbles LBTEPA's whiny twin, I was looking forward to feeling miserable all day...

Now *whistling (and inflicting all my dear readers with an irritating earworm)* hi ho, hi ho, it's off to work I go...

Have a very happy Easter everyone :)

Maybe mojo, and an experiment.

I seem to have plummeted through March with an unpleasant splat. But the new month has imparted some new positivity and energy. I believe I might find my mojo soon!
This shin/calf/foot thingy has provided unexpected learning – constant niggly pain makes me HUNGRY! As does being Slightly-Under-Par. I am ATTRACTING WELLNESS GODDAMMIT! Aches and sniffles and cough, FEAR ME, and BEGONE! (It's a little known fact that being an Evil Overlord IS the most effective way of Attracting stuff). Given that I am generally the headcold Bleatmeister, refusing to give any quarter to being S-U-P was an interesting experiment – I ran and exercise-biked and took Noddie to the Aquarium and did housework, and the s-word (sick…shhhhh!) was never allowed to cross my mind. Mind you I did chugalug echinacea and panadol and vitamin C, but that was for wellness. You see? Hey, it kept me amused.
How do you all keep yourselves from diving into yummy stuff when you’re S-U-P? All words of wisdom gratefully accepted! (I’m picturing a SWAT team surrounding the house - step away from the hot cross buns LBTEPA…nice and slowly…)
More anon, dominators! mwahahaha!