That'll teach me

If you need the word 'smegged' explained to you, the best thing to do would be to get a dvd of the utterly hilarious BBC series Red Dwarf.
For those who must know now, a brief explanation: the word is used in much the same way as other vulgar euphemisms. Some examples: 'smeg off!'; 'can't be smegged'; 'this smegging piece of smeg still doesn't work, even after I've wasted the whole smegging evening reinstalling the smegging operating system'.
Research has found no ascertainable connection with expensive kitchen appliances.
As far as conjugation goes, you can bung it in pretty much anywhere. Mostly it just makes you sound like a bit of a half-back flanker, as I have helpfully demonstrated. Don't say I never do anything for you.

Now do let's LET IT GO, and talk about me instead.
My star tally is up to ten, which means that my eating/ drinking/ spending/whingeing have been on track for well over half the time. This is good.
My research proposal, ethics and funding submissions have been slapped into submission and handed in on time, despite my having to reinstall my stupid computer's operating system.
And best of all, my hop count has also reached ten! Not long now until we are free again, my pretties ...not long now....

more anon, barnstormers!