Right back there

I was lying awake last night, not fretting about the 3000 words I have to write on the ethics of prenatal genetic diagnosis by next Wednesday, or the way my anticipated five and a half/six hours on the road on Sunday will probably end up closer to six and a half/scarily close to the cutoff. Really, I wasn't. It's just that the antibiotics make me a bit nauseous, my head still aches most of the time and the extra asthma stuff I have to have for the next few days makes my heart race a bit. Meh. It seems to be working though, so I'm sticking with it. But I digress.
I tried all the usual calming things as I lay there; I thought about my nice warm house and soft sheets and sweet daughter (she was asleep at the time) and my adorable husband (ditto), and all my other blessings.....and I still could not get my heart to slow down. It was a pest. I wanted to sleep. It occurred to me that listening to music might pass the time, so I got up and got my 1p0d. I snuggled down again and clicked it on
I love my 1p0d. I only ever listen to it when I'm running. I've chosen all the songs carefully so they cheer me up or rev me up or lift me up. They're my friends. I've spent a lot of time with those songs, feeling calm and strong, huffing and sweating, usually by myself, often in the dark when the lights are pretty or when the sun's coming up. Running with my music is a very good place to be.
And oh, my friends, my friends -
as I lay floating on my songs in the dark last night -
I was right back there. It was like magic. Each track took me to a place I know well - that running place, where I am calm and happy and peaceful and strong and sure of myself.
I love it there.
And my friends, my friends - on Sunday, I'll be there again.

More anon, peaceful grinners.
BTW if you're planning on being anywhere near the MCG around lunchtime on Sunday, email me and I'll give you the Spousal Unit's phone number. You can cheer me in!

Unthinkable

F@ceb00k post Oct 1st
LBTEPA has handed in another assignment! Yay! and lost her voice and is coughing b/c of the Return of The Virus! Boo! But I ignore this virus! Virus schmirus! Give it your worst, virus - I will treat you with the utmost scorn (and panadol and betadine gargle and sleep)
F@ceb00k post Oct 3rd
LBTEPA is just about in despair at being so sick so close to the marathon. Does it matter if you lie on the couch coughing for the last ten days of your taper?
F@ceb00k post Oct 4th
LBTEPA is getting sicker and sicker and is past panic.
SMS to the Spousal Unit, Oct 5th
Good news: i don't have a virus. Bad news: severe bronchitis. Good news: antibiotics! And there are 6 more sleeps until the marathon! Plenty of time! (curling into ball and rocking back and forth now).
I do not, I cannot have any thoughts about this.

But I do have this.......- the best race shirt ever!

- and this - it's not finished yet, but I'll be carrying it in my pocket on M-day.
more anon, rainbow chasers

words of wisdom

Dear friends: I need your help!
As fellow tilters at the windmill of life, you've learned lots of good stuff about keeping on keeping on, and I need to know it.
Now the plan is this: I'll be taking 6 or 7 gels on the m-word in eight and a bit days' time OMG OMG OMG!!! Bestow upon me your wisdom, my friends, that I may stick it to my gel packages, read it when I open them, and hence obtain spiritual as well as physical nourishment as I wend my way around the 42.2km OMG OMG OMG!!!
So far I have come up with "remember you paid to do this", and the mighty Emma has contributed "Trained hard, race easy" and "The finish line really does exist". I might write that last one on my hand!
Thanking you in anticipation
*mwah*
LBTEPA
More anon, band of brothers!

Weight

As I trundle around our neighbourhood I often get to thinking about stuff.
I was thinking about my weight the other day. I'm not exactly sure what it is at the moment, which is unusual for me. Around seventy none of your business kgs, I would think. I'm a bit of a stress eater, alas, and a stress drinker as well. I used to weigh myself almost every day. When marathon training cranked up, work went mental, I kept getting sick, and uni obligations didn't magically go away, I decided something had to give. And you know what? I don't miss it at all. I didn't realise how much importance I was giving That Number. One thing I have learned - again - from Very Slow Marathon training, and the people I have met along this journey *hi Emma! hi Mary and Jeanne! hi Mrs W!*, is that my value is not determined by my weight, or my measurements, or my speed. Or by how I respond to stress, for that matter.
And another thing.... I've been lighter than this. I could lose weight if I put a lot of effort into it - but quite frankly, at this moment I have better things to do. Unlike when I was lighter, I have a happy marriage and a rich family life. I'm studying and working hard toward a rewarding career. I'm in very good health, apart from these wretched everlasting viruses. I'm going to run a marathon (in two weeks, eeek!). Life is good. Maybe I'll throw out my scales altogether! Probably not, though...but still. What could you do with the energy you use worrying about your weight?
More anon, deep thinkers!

Scattered

This isn't a blog about my work so I'll just say that things have been very difficult but I'm a big girl and will manage. Thank goodness I only work part-time and have a very happy home life.
I've handed in one of the three uni assignments I have due - a day early! go me! - and that was the one I had the least idea how to do so the others should be easier to crank out.
If this is coming across as distracted and lots of sentences and ideas all running together, welcome to my head at the moment! Scatty LBTEPA has moved in and doesn't appear likely to disappear in the forseeable future. Similar to the viral infection that is driving up the share prices of sinus medication manufacturers, but what can I do? I'm so used to operating sub-par after this #$*!?$ winter of everlasting lurgis that, after the four days that I spent either sleeping or propped up feebly near the heater, I'm ignoring the #$*!?$ out of it. A good way to start my taper, no? I'm confused by my taper. I feel quite good. I've added a few extra hills to my mid-week runs but am sticking to my (ahem) "race pace" and maintaining my cross-training, aka spinning away on my bike trainer watching triathlon on TV. Sad.
My marathon race pack and number arrived yesterday. I opened it and thought
- oooh how exciting!
- this probably means I actually have to do it
- I think I'm a bit offended at being described as Extremely Slow (runners expecting to take more than five and a half hours). I prefer the term "thorough". However, as the Spousal Unit pointed out, if I'm offended by being called slow I should get a new hobby. Don't you get all logical on me!
- waddya mean, 1p0ds are 'strongly discouraged'? You tell me this NOW? (I did look very carefully for such a pronouncement on the website before signing up). I can feel some civil disobedience coming on.
- this probably means I actually have to do it.
Hey guess what? I've raised more than a thousand dollars for CanTeen! I have the BEST FRIENDS IN THE WORLD
More anon,...um.....what was I saying?

Found

I've been looking for the pair of schmicko 0akley sunnies I won last summer for so long that I was convinced they were gone for good. And I've been looking for my copy of J0hn B1ngham's Marathon Running for Mortals for weeks and weeks, as I find obsessively reading and re-reading it to be soothing, what with three assignments due, yet another !&?#$*%?! bug to will from my body and, oh yes, a full marathon to do IN 20 DAYS AAARRRGGGHHH.
Yesterday I found both of them.
*beams*
More anon, cheery little souls!

through and through

Our Bulldog hearts are broken.

Dummy spit

*WARNING! WARNING! WHINGE ALERT!! WHINGE ALERT!!*
I'm in my study trying to crank out the 3000 word essay that's due next Wednesday. I've written more than half of it and I still don't have a #$%ing clue what I'm doing. I hate uni.
I hate my virus-ridden husband, my disease-ridden work colleagues and my germy child with a smouldering loathing that may transcend time and space. My joints ache, I'm wheezing like a geriatric VW and my #$%ing sinuses have turned on me again. According to the quack I have another viral infection. Prescription: rest. Ha! I hate everyone. I am LBTEPA and I Will Be Cranky if I want to.
I'm going to the footy tonight with my sister. Between us we've attended nine losing preliminary finals. For us to win would be the upset of the season. Stupid footy. GO DOGS!The Schedule says I'm supposed to do another 35km this weekend. I may tell it to #$%& off. My spot on the team for Delhi won't be at stake if I'm one long run short.
Hmmmph.
More anon, paranoid androids

HTFU? I don't THINK so!

35km is a big milestone in Very Slow Marathon training. It's the furthest most people run in preparation - the last 7km is meant to appear magically out of the air (or somewhere) on race day. Hmmmm.
It was certainly a big milestone for me. I wasn't looking forward to it in any way. It became even less inviting when I found out that the Spousal Unit was starting work an hour earlier than usual on Saturday and I would have to be home from my five-plus hour run before 9am. I'll give you a moment to think that through.
I had a wee bleat about it on F&ceb**k, no details, just that J's hours meant that I'd have to get up earlier than I had planned. My darling friend Wes had a teeny go at me, suggesting that I might like to HTFU (Harden The F*** Up). No offence taken, mate, I thought to myself, but I'll show you HTFU. Yes. I. Will.
So, Saturday morning. I left home at 3.30am. Three Thirty Ay Em. Yes. I. did. You're right. That's insane. But when J works on the weekends, a five hour block of time is hard to come by. It was a choice of bite it from 3.30-8.30 on Saturday morning, or bite it from 5pm-10pm on Sunday night. Which would you pick?
Nothing notably horrid happened on the run. It wasn't a whinge-filled suffer-fest. I just ran and ran and ran. I filled up my water bottle when I saw a tap, I had a gel every hour and I ran some more. The sun came up (handy!), it didn't rain, it took a long time, and my feet hurt so much by the end that I was looking forward to my ice bath. Yet another example of the world of wrongness that is VSM training.
I'm a bit jealous of people who train with others. I read in a book (of course I bought a book. How else would you prepare for a marathon?) that these groups are simply bursting with cheery souls whose sole joy in life is to encourage the slow, the tired and the bleat-prone. I SO need one of them. I do. As my five faithful readers know, life LBTEPA-style is all about getting what I need, so on Saturday I decided to become my own Tiresome Cheery Friend.
LBTEPA:I'm so slow! TCF: yes, but I'm thorough!
LBTEPA: My feet hurt. TCF: because I'm kicking so much arse!
Once I'd hooked TCF answers to my bleats, it was almost funny - I'd slip into o woe, o woe! and my TCF would make me smile, just like that.
After I got home and had my ice bath, I posted about my epic FIGJAM-ness on F&ceb**k. One of my friends replied that she'd got home from a big night an hour after I left to run! Now that's stamina.
However: I hereby claim the right to NEVER EVER HAVE TO HTFU AGAIN*. SO THERE.
More anon, legends!*Or at least for several weeks

Yawn

I glanced at the clock yesterday morning, clicked off the alarm so as not to awaken the Spousal Unit and rolled out of bed to run. Drink, chew, dress, go. It was dark, as I expected. Unexpectedly, however, it was still dark when I was half way around. The bakery people weren't sweeping the footpath and the loos near the station weren't open. That's when it dawned on me.... I'd got up an hour early. I'm such a dill! But all the other hardcore athletes (ahem) out there greeted me, and it was pretty running by the creek listening to the birds. It was also good practice for the unmentionable time I'll be leaving home on Saturday morning. But let's not go there yet.
It's Noddie's school concert tonight. We are all wildly excited.
More anon, dawn treaders!

Tumbling

Hi hi hi everyone!. I had the funniest post almost finished and then it didn't save, so there's another gem lost for posterity. Oh well. At the moment I'm feeling as though I live in a tumble-dryer - warm, purposeful, a bit confusing, quite enjoyable.... but always at the back of my mind there's this please can I just stop?
Noddie and the Spousal Unit have been as sick as I have ever seen them. Poor loves. Thank goodness they are getting better at last. Please send a prayer to your preferred deity that my immune system holds up against the barrage. Note to self: get some of that olive leaf extract Sharyn recommended.
I have two more long runs to do - proper long runs, not the 'just for fun', yet, as always lately, glacially slow....le sigh.... 21km I did on Sunday night. What's happened to me? What sort of person says, thank goodness, only three hours on The Schedule ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY SCHEDULE this weekend? I just can't think about 35km. I can get ready for it, and I will do it, but I can't think about it. Too. Scary. Yet horribly fascinating at the same time. I'm focusing on the shopping trip planned for afterward with Mrs W, my partner in team Stupidly Determined. We're getting matching shirts! Have you been over to my fundraising page lately? I've had to raise my target total again! I am so grateful for everyone's generosity.
I have eight and a half thousand words to hand in before M-day as well. Not much hope of escape from the dryer in the near future, but as I said, it's warm in there. It's time to really focus on my priorities. I do too much housework anyway.
More anon, sparklers!

Worries

I've had a bit on my mind lately. The dog ate my running sunglasses. True! Could this be an omen? Of what, though?
People are telling me that these long runs get easier. So far longer = harder. I'm not convinced.
People are telling me that the atmosphere of race day makes everything better and will carry me through those last 7km (my longest scheduled run ALL HAIL THE SCHEDULE! is 35km). I'm not convinced.
People are telling me that, like me, they themselves hated every step of the interminable suffer-fests known as long runs, and that they too were consumed by doubt at, firstly, their ability to finish the marathon, and secondly, the wisdom of running a marathon at all, since, let's face it, 42.2km is a Very Long Way, especially if one is Very Slow. My worry is this: after they finished they were immediately consumed by the desire to do another one!!! I don't know what I'll do if that happens. I might book myself in for some intense chardy, chips and couch therapy just in case. The Spousal Unit would certainly roll his eyes and sigh deeply, but he's had a lot of practice at that.
It's a lovely time of year here in beautiful Melbourne. Early spring, blossoms in the trees, just that bit warmer and lighter.....and it's footy finals time and my team is looking good! No finals games have been played yet so nothing has gone wrong. I'm not kidding myself: I've followed my team for a Very Long Time. I'm braced for crushing disappointment.
But not yet.... More anon, Scraggers!

Respect the distance

Stuff I learned this morning
- 33km is A Very Long Way
- I'm STUPIDLY determined
- I should have listened to Secret Sara All praise to Her Infinite wisdom!
- shouting at your ipod after it falls off for the 100000000000000th time doesn't help
- You'll never walk alone kept me from giving up and ringing J for a lift home.
- When you are having an utterly crappy time, don't talk to anyone. Listen to your music. Think about the next four minutes. Do. Not. Cry. You can cry when you get home.
- even if I have as slow, painful and difficult a run as I did today, I'll make the Marathon time cutoff.
- if you just step into your ice bath wearing all your running clothes it somehow makes it better.
- next time I think I'll do (INSANE THING X) just to see what it's like, I'll think about it again and say naaaaaah........
More anon, strivers

Excuses excuses

This should be the inspiring, sweat soaked, tea-swilling and baked-bean jaffle*-scoffing recounting of 33km, as per The Schedule. ALL HAIL THE SCHEDULE! Sometimes I hate The Schedule. But I do what it says. It's the boss and will get me over the line on Marathon Day. That's six weeks and one day from now NOT THAT I'M COUNTING no no no noooo.
But a niggly hip and a sweaty weird stupid headcold thingy kept me awake last night and I feel like a limp sweaty weird headcold-y dishrag this morning. Meh. Live with a germy five year-old with lots of germy little mates, that's what'll happen unless you have a cast-iron immune system (BTW If you do have one, and could spare it for six weeks, could you send it here?). I'm now off to bed for the day with my uni reading. I've almost caught up, thanks for asking.
HOWEVER
I'll run tomorrow morning and let you know how it went.
No excuses.
(thanks for the link Tea, that's the greatest!)
More anon, teeth-gritters!
*For those enquiring commenters on my last post
JAFFLES: AN INTRODUCTION.
Jaffles for the baffled.
Baffling jaffles
FOR JEANNE: everything there is to know about vegemite

The day the music died

When I got home from the slowest run EVER yesterday, the Spousal Unit was standing in the driveway colluding with the neighbour about the insane secret shed project they think I don't know about. They looked a bit surprised when I lurched past them, mumbling shoot me now, just shoot me now............ then J told the neighbour I'd just run 30k and he looked even more surprised. I only regained the power of coherent speech after I'd got outside a pot of tea and a baked-bean jaffle.
Oh. My. Goodness. It was HAAAAAAAAAARRRRDDDD. It started out hard and slow and went downhill from there. The alarm went off at 4.50am - yes, gentle reader, four fifty ay em - that's not stupid o'clock, that's ten to OMFG o'clock. The reason for this ridiculousness was that J had to leave for work at 10.30 and I didn't want to be cutting things too fine. Scoffed half a vegemite roll and a cuppa and hurled myself out the door before I thought better of it. That's a lie. I thought better of it the whole way. You know that feeling where you can't get your shoe tied properly so your foot slides around? No? Oh well. I just could not get it right... then my knee started hurting.... oh it was a world-class whinge fest out there, it surely was. It wasn't until about 11km in that it struck me - tightening the lacing at the bottom of my shoe might be more effective in keeping my forefoot still than ineffectually fiddling with the laces at the top. Can anyone say DOH? It sounds so minor, but meant that I never got into any kind of rhythm; the first hour and a half is usually the bit of these long runs that isn't quite so rotten, and yesterday it was just niggly and stupid the whole way. And then...the sun had come up and it was becoming quite pleasant yes I know I know, being out running for 90 minutes before sunrise is just wrong wrong wrong, and if you think it isn't well here's a *raspberry* and you can keep your perky virtuousness to yourself THANKYOU and I was trundling up the third-last hill of course I know exactly how many hills there are, waddya think I am, not anal-retentive? when
*cue sinister music*
my music died!
It was the last straw. My legs hurt all the way. I forgot to eat one of my scheduled gels ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY NUTRITION PLAN, and my mood plummeted with my blood sugar. I tripped really heavily and bruised my knee - and let me tell you, endorphins work really well whether they're provided by pleasure or shock, it's just when they wear off that the effects are different- and I was all alone with my own thoughts! Nooooooooo!
If I ran through the permission-to-sook checklist once I ran through it a dozen times. Any joint pain? Sharp muscular pain? Any wheezing or weird sweaty dizziness? Are you soaking wet and freezing? No? Then, LBTEPA my friend, it's not so bad really. It's okay. You can keep going. Have another little sip of HTFU and run for four more minutes (my primary goal is to stay uninjured so I'm using a 4:1 run:walk interval to get the Ks on my legs).
I have to say, though, in some ways it was a nice change to go without music. It was quite peaceful. I might do it again one day. But there's one thing I do know - because I thought it many many times on that pathetic crawl around the northern suburbs - if the Running Gods send me one like this on marathon day, I'll still make it. I can slide down into self-doubt and utter hatred of my utter lack of ability, and trip over things and wreck my tights (luckily my horrid old tights that were going into the op-shop box anyway, not my nice new tights. That would really have upset me. And Noddie was able to use her favourite new words, subdural haematoma and contusion! So it's all good! But I digress) and pick myself up again and keep on going. Yes I can. And yes I will.
And by crikey that pot of tea and baked-bean jaffle were the best I've ever had.More anon, earl grey fanciers!

Things it's good to know

- you have to laugh
This appeared today on the noticeboard (of the crisis counselling service!) where I work.
IMPORTANT NOTICE
Due to recent budget cuts and rising utility costs, as well as current economic conditions, "The Light At The End of the Tunnel" has been disconnected.
We apologise for the inconvenience.
- I can still think on my feet
Last week Noddie and I had the following conversation
N: I don't want to be a mummy or a nanna
LBTEPA: (thinks: GOOD!) oh?
N: becuase I don't want to have my tummy cut open for a baby to come out.
L: fair enough....
N: did you have your tummy cut open so I could come out?
L: (thinks: bugger! I can't tell outright porkies to my five year old) no, I didn't.
N: well, how did I get out then?
L: (thinks: bugger! I am SO not having this conversation) you just came out.
N: but how did I get out?
L: (thinks: bugger!) oh look! There's a train!
N: Oooh! A train!
L: (thinks: PHEW!)
Other things I know
I am gradually slowly little-by-little chipping away at my mountainous backlog of uni reading. Boxes are being ticked. I've done this before. I can do it again.
To Commenter EE: if I gave M this shirt she could wear it as a dress. The colour makes your usual getup look quite restrained and tasteful :P
To Commenter Paul: the word verification on your blog doesn't work so I can't leave a comment! I wear those gorgeous socks for runs over 1.5 hours. They are used and recommended by the magnificent Iron Misty. They are super comfy and I never get blisters, and they look cute. What more could I ask for?
Things I'm not sure about
Can I possibly be getting another bug? sniffle sniffle hack hack. Curse Noddie's permanent, potent germ-miasma!
Emma suggested I could run for Team Uni. That has crossed my mind, especially since I might get a free ~ purple! ~ singlet out of it. And being an Official Representative of My Uni, at my age, weight and speed, would be amusing. It's all a bit complicated though, and the singlet, although desirable, clashes horribly with my CR hat and lacks the pockets I will need for my Nutrition Plan ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY NUTRITION PLAN! What sayest thou, gentle readers?
One thing I am absolutely sure of
I am surrounded by amazingly generous friends and family. I've already passed my original fundraising target for CanTeen, and am approaching my revised target so fast that I've had to raise it again! I am humbled by the encouragement and kind messages I have received (but don't forget the can of HTFU and the roller skates at 35km. I'll be needing them).
You all ROCK.
More anon, rainbow-gazers!

28 in the bank

You know that bit of philosophising the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result? I have a new definition: heavyish,almost middle-aged (I'm allowed to kid myself! I'm running the Melbourne Marathon in eight weeks I need some delusions!)woman does VSM (Very Slow Marathon).
And you know that triumphant energetic feeling you get when you charge home at 9.30am after a pleasant 4-hour 28km run? NEITHER DO I!
I do know some things though
- I have the most wonderful generous friends in the world. THANKS THANKS THANKS to everyone who has clicked onmy fundraising link and helped me raise money for CanTeen. I've already had to increase my target amount!
- leaving home at stupid o'clock means you have the beautiful sunrise almost to yourself.
- 28km is a bloody long way, but if you start at stupid o'clock you can get it done by 9.30 and then go about your Saturday
- running 28km before lunch means you spend a lot of time at family parties smiling vaguely and being grateful for soft chairs.
- fluoro green and purple clash horribly. Don't recoil like that! I warned you I'd post a picture of the shirt! But it's ok. I kept my jacket zipped because it was cold. No retinas were harmed during the run.
- fatigue and pain are not bad things in themselves. They are if you let them be. They will suck out the will for forward motion, nay, the will to live, if you let them. I am learning that VSM training is mostly about mind games. And not glimpsing youself in plate-glass windows. In my imagination I am Paula Radcliffe. I choose not to accept reality at this time.
My new best friends are bodyglide (get your mind out of the gutter, people -it's anti-chafing stuff!), blister tape and my toe socks
More anon, packers-up of your troubles in old kit bags!

Perspective

Well.

Since last we spoke, gentle reader, I have worn a smart new dress to my 25 year high school reunion (don't do the maths on that, the answer is O.L.D.) and straggled home very cheerily at 1.30am after a really good party.
Lessons: Living well is the best revenge. So are great earrings and a really smart new dress.
A smile and good posture are the best accessories.
A 100% dyed-in-the-wool b#$%* at 12 and 18 is still a 100% dyed-in-the-wool b#$%* at 42, and it's not wrong to be pleased that she still slouches and has bad skin.
It's a gift to be able to see adolescence from the perspective of a satisfying adulthood.
It's silly to get all choked up when described as ' really popular', when that's the last word I'd have used to describe my peripheral place in the school galaxy. It was 25 years ago, why do I care?
It's a pleasure to meet the good people that my schoolmates have grown to be.

I have finished my first assignment for the semester three hours before it was due (thank GOODNESS for electronic submission).
Lesson: it's harder to shoehorn very slow marathon training and study into my life than I expected.
Some time in the next few hours, one of my closest friends will be landing on Planet Parent - and I haven't finished darning in the ends of the crochet blanket I'm making. Eeek!
Lesson: write my blog posts in one go! Baby Jade has arrived! Congratulations to M and G, and welcome to the joyful, maddening, amazing, frustrating I think I've made my point journey of parenthood.

J got home from work at 11.30pm the other night. Two hours later we were woken by a phone call from his work mate, who said you know how we were joking that my wife was so dark with our long hours she might not be home when I get there? Well she's taken the kids and gone! He came over for dinner last night and talked about it a bit; it all sounds a big sad mess.
Lesson: count my many, many blessings. Appreciate knowing what I want, and more importantly, knowing that it's ok (and important) for me to put my own needs first sometimes. Generosity and energy come from feeling whole and supported.
Tomorrow I'll be rising at 5, running 28km, then going to a family lunch then out with friends. I can't believe that I just wrote that sentence, or that there is so much potential for mishap in a sixteen-hour period.
Lesson: I'll let you know on Sunday.........
More anon, thrillseekers!

What it's all about

Hi! Back again after that brief sinus-induced hiatus. Luckily their influence over my life is waning somewhat. Thank you horse pills. We're off to the old home town this afternoon for another high school reunion and I want to enjoy myself rather than spreading metropolitan lurgi throughout the countryside. I still don't have any idea what I'm going to wear though!

You might be wondering why I am doing this marathon in October. I certainly wonder from time to time! I'm running this marathon for myself, undoubtedly - I want to see what it's like to run very slowly for the better part of a workday, as you do you don't? oh. Fair enough - but also to raise money for CanTeen, which supported my friend Sally and her family as her sister Kim fought leukaemia.This is an email I sent around yesterday to everyone I could think of. I have to confess I've never really seen the logic in getting sponsored to do stupid things, but now I'm seeing it's a way to overcome that sense of helplessness one has in the face of life's cruel randomness. It certainly is a motivation to train and do this thing as well as I possibly can (not very well, I'm not kidding myself ). Another bonus is learning how generous people are, whether with money or other kinds of support, whether kind (albeit puzzled) thoughts and wishes, practical advice and of course the odd can of HTFU when I need it! I appreciate ALL OF IT.

Anyway.....

HI everyone
*ahem* (straightens shoulders, attempts not to stammer)
In the next little while I'll be doing a couple of things I've never ever done before.One is a full honest-to-goodness-all-the-way-OMG-what-was-I-thinking marathon (that's 42.2km, aka a f#$% of a long way)
The other is asking people for money. I'm running this marathon to raise funds for CanTeen, in honour of my friend Sally whose sister Kim died of leukaemia earlier this year, aged 20.
I'd appreciate it if you'd think about clicking on the link below and having a look. If you're able to spare any cash I'd appreciate your donation very much - a dollar a km is $42 (I've got to stop writing that down, it FREAKS ME OUT), a dollar an hour for my projected time is $6 (ditto)

http://www.everydayhero.com.au/alison_crotty (there's a link on my sidebar as well)

In return for your support, I promise
- to count my blessings and celebrate the gift of good health
- to train regularly with the aim of avoiding injury and getting to the start
- restrict my (public) whingeing to amusingly self-deprecating anecdotes
- wear the BRIGHT fluoro green (and very oddly-shaped) shirt Canteen sent me at least once (not in the race though, I need something with pockets for all the food I'll need)
- send you a photo of myself in said shirt (optional)
- keep doing this (below) until I either finish or am pulled off the course
- not do this (below) before the finishIf you don't wish to donate, and can send along some encouraging thoughts/prayers/emails/spare roller skates at 35km, that would be fantastic! And of course if you have nothing to do on Oct 11th between 12.30 (in my DREAMS) and 2pm, you could come along to the MCG and cheer me in. I'll be just like Kerryn McCann, only way older, heavier and slower. But I'll still be smiling!
cheers and see you soon
LBTEPA

So there you go. I'm off to ransack my wardrobe for something awesome yet effortless.
More anon, reminiscers!

Hi!

Hi everyone
This is LBTEPA's sinuses, guest author for the day! You've heard a lot about me, I know.
LBTEPA is lying down at the moment wishing she could rip me out - a bit uncalled for, I think!- becuase I spent the last couple of weeks dripping annoyingly and then blocking up not to mention making her snore like a combine harvester, the Spousal Unit is a saint I tell you and am now infected and making her cough and feel utterly crappy and take antibiotics. She'd never really cut her nose off though; she wears sunglasses all the time and they'd fall down without me.
She's not been exercising much this week after dragging me out in the wind on Sunday night that'll teach her, hahahahaha! except for a session on her bike trainer. She toughed that out, I'll give her that. Yesterday when she tried to run I made her feel all sweaty and weird and want to throw up. That's when she decided to go to the doctor. Now she's eating horse pills to make us feel better. I know she wishes it was easier to tell the difference between a touch of the sniffles and incipient infections, and I know I could make the signs clearer...but sheesh, where would the fun be in that? Mess with her head in every sense, that's my motto!
It's not as though I want to f#$% up this insane marathon thing. Not really. I can't help it that I need a lot of attention! I'm going to try and get myself sorted so LBTEPA get her two thousand word literature review done for uni next week, and have a nice time at her high school reunion on Saturday night (she hasn't even decided what to wear yet, can you believe that?). She's not freaking out much about all of this though - a nice change! Maybe having a head full of clag is doing that?
Well, cheerio for now, bwahahahaha and lovely talking to you