Pretty

I want a pretty tri top. With flowers or a groovy pattern, in pretty colours like yellow and orange and pink and red. Any good brands you can recommend? Do you know someone with a cool tri top who you can bail up and ask where she got it? The roomier the better, and I don't need an inbuilt bra - my girls are looked after by Enell.
No news from uni about my thesis yet. They are SLACK and I have written to the course co-ordinators. If I don't get some news soon I will forward it to the vice-chancellor. Grrrr.
We'll be flat out this weekend. It's my birthday and I've accidentally asked 25 people for lunch on Sunday.

For you, Jeanne

This is mainly for me – well der, this is My Blog – and for the lovely Jeanne who is doing her first tri soon, and likes to emulate the laudable example set by boy scouts and Be Prepared.

WARNING: LONG. It’s pretty much unedited as well; I just want to get it all down - splat!

GATORADE PORTARLINGTON TRIATHLON
800/26/8 2.23.39
RATING: THRILLED
PRE-RACE
We all had naps on Saturday afternoon after the beach, and I had the worst dream – I slept through the alarm on Sunday morning until 7.30 am- and the race started at 8.30, an hour and three-quarters away! In my dream I frantically tried to work out how I could get there, how I could start…then thankfully woke up, my heart pounding.
I shoulda shoulda shoulda got up and driven to the bike shop to get some sports beans, stupid supermarket not stocking them any more grrrr, but I was too tired/had a CBB attack. As you will see, this bit me on the behind next day.
Next time I am going to write a list, I swear, so much less wearing than cruising through the preparations, wetsuit, check, togs, check, bike shoes, check, etc etc etc, then realising I’d not put my goggles in my bag! Vaseline, check, anti-fog (flash name for smear of dishwashing liquid) check, bike, check! I loved the yellow top I wore last time but being a riding top it chafed so badly under my arms I couldn’t bring myself to wear it again, and wore a running singlet. No pockets, alas, and I could have done with some. I’ll just have to keep hunting for a groovy, pretty tri-top. I didn’t want to wake everyone as I left so I made up a thermos of tea the night before and picked up a couple of pieces of raisin toast at Maccas on the freeway, as that’s what I would have had anyway.
At Portarlington I found a parking spot and scarfed down a breakfast drink. I was alarmed to note the F#$%ing Steep Hill BETWEEN the BEACH (where I assumed the swim would take place) and the ROAD – likely site of ride and run. What was this? My dear “friend” (I use the term loosely) M had assured me that the run course was ‘flat as a tack’. Well my lovelies, she LIED LIKE A RUG. But I get ahead of myself.
Transition was long and thin and I was in ROW 25 (see, I learned from last time) next to M and the other Athenas. One seemed quite friendly, although she was quite expansive in her attitude to scarce Transition real estate (I squeezed in ok). I gave her a cheer on the run and she cut me dead (b*tch!) - but she may have been a) tired b) hot and tired or c) someone else entirely.
SWIM
I’d never been in the same wave as M before so I fell into the pre-race chat trap – and almost missed the start! Sh*t! On with the goggles and off we go! It was so so so flat, and so fun to swim out and around the pier. My strategy was to push it to almost-out-of-breath. Plenty of time to get my heart rate down on the bike…or so I thought….
TIME: 800m 15.59
LESSONS
Write a list
Concentrate on the start!
T1 3.08
Run run run. Sh*t! My wetsuit wouldn’t unzip. I got it off in time, eventually! I’d even practiced at home (!) so I was pretty pleased with how quickly those bike shoes jammed on and I was off…up up up the steep steep hill. Had I left my bike in its lowest gear? You bet your sweet bippy I had! Hill schmill.
BIKE
Things started to come a bit unravelled. I had it in my head that I was first Athena (I wasn’t) so I wanted to make them work to pass me! I kept my cadence high up and down the ‘undulating’ course, but I felt as though I was breathing too hard (cos I don’t have a fancypants heart rate monitor like some people, you know who you are Wes) and couldn’t seem to slow it down. Because I didn’t have the sports beans I’d decided to have one bottle of water and one of Gatorade on the bike, but I hadn’t really worked out how much and how often to drink it. I was quite thirsty and a bit worried about not having enough plain water. I confess to feeling a bit discouraged when the other Athena passed me as though I was tied to a tree. ‘Cause that’s how I ride, no use kidding myself. I don’t know if the organisers had a shorter time-limit than normal, but they started the waves in a funny order – elites first, then all the old/slow/fat types, then everyone else. So all day after the swim it was fwoom fwoom fwoom (being passed on the ride) and patter patter patter (passed on the run). I remembered these wise words from the lovely Mary Sunshine
MY EDGE IS MY EDGE.
NOT ANYONE ELSE'S.
IT'S MINE.
For others, my edge may be merely a warmup pace but to me it is MY EDGE--MY BEST--MY CHALLENGE.
so I now actually enjoy watching people pass me in races--I wonder about THEIR edges...but I know that at that moment in time, I'm working MINE.
I repeated those words – my edge is MY edge, and I’m working it - to myself many times during the morning. I didn’t know the course and there were no km markers so I didn’t know how far there was to go, and I didn’t have enough water, and I really started to flag: at one time I kept looking down to see if my brakes were rubbing. They weren’t. I didn’t dare think about the run, my legs were hurting and there seemed a long way to go. Sooky la-la LBTEPA was hovering at my shoulder and I had to keep swatting her away. An angel flashed by just then and said, hey, we’re nearly there! Only 8km to go! She was the first person who’d spoken all day, and I don’t know if it was her encouraging words or what I was sucking down at random out of my drink bottles (see? No plan = Not good!) but I started to feel stronger. All you have to do at this moment is ride your bike, I said to myself, all you have to do is ride your bike. The run is for the run, not now. Just ride your bike. And by and by I was zoooooming back down the steep hill and being shouted at by the dismount officials
TIME 26km 1.05.59 (23.6km/hr - an improvement for me!)
LESSONS
Have a plan about what and when to eat and drink
Study the map so I know roughly how far I’ve travelled
Don’t try and race other people.
Try and stay calm enough to think through things and problem-solve methodically
All you have to do during the bike leg is ride your bike
Riding with aerobars is REALLY FUN.
T2
Run run run. I do not know why I am so slow in T2. I was the fastest in T1, and I’d practiced at home exactly how I would jam my feet into my runners with their swish-o new elastic laces to eliminate all that time-consuming doing-up business. The winning Athena was out in under a minute! She must have flown!
RUN
Straight out of T2 was a set of sand stairs up to the (allegedly flat) run course. I walked up them, and the next 50m or so to the drink stop. I’d been hoping there would be Gatorade at the drink stops (I couldn’t remember) but there wasn’t, so I’d have to bet on having downed enough on the bike to keep me going for the next hour. I stuck to my plan of 9:1 run:walk even though it was tempting to keep going just so that it would be just a little bit longer before the people coming up behind me would pass me. They were going to anyway. My run, no-one else’s. I felt unexpectedly strong once I got started, and I tried to think of a mantra to keep my rhythm going. I came up with “strong and smooth and run run run” (thanks Playschool!). Walk every water station, drink a couple of mouthfuls, tip the rest down my back, strong and smooth and run run run. Morning after morning I’ve practiced hold your form, you can keep this up indefinitely, just relax, so I just slid into those thoughts as the kms clicked over. Often my dear, supportive blog friends popped into my mind. It was nice. Toward the end I was feeling very weary, but ok, looking forward to the next walk minute…and my watch died! That Useless Piece of Unreliable Timex SH*T! Arrrggh!!! Foul-mouthed LBTEPA made a brief but pithy appearance, especially since the last 2km were the ‘undulating’ bit. My “friend” M is dead to me. Her delightful boyfriend G (a speedster triathlete, who later said I must have had a good ride as he'd expected to pass me much earlier!) was walking out to meet her; when he called there's only two more hills til the finish I’d have felled him with a blow but I needed to concentrate. And by and by I was running down the hill and through the chute and I was finished
TIME 56.39 (7.05/km, once again an improvement for me especially since it was 8km)
LESSONS
Practice running up hills!
Staying calm makes everything easier
POST RACE
I cheered M across the line and watched the end of the presentations and then went to get my medal. They tried to tell me the late-finisher results weren’t up yet so they’d post it to me, but it’s amazing how persuasive you can be leaning tiredly and sweatily on a table saying, are you sure? Really? The female 65+ winner was similarly determined, and they couldn’t be rude to an old lady so in the end they caved and coughed up the bling. I wore mine all the way home.

I was expecting 2.35+ so I was really happy with my time. I also learned a lot about racing harder, yet staying within myself. The Olympic distance tri in a month’s time is twice the swim, 14km longer on the bike and 2km longer in the run. This was a good stepping stone.

THE END

*looks around* You still here? Crikey!
More anon, gluttons for punishment!

3rd out of 4 ain't bad

800m swim 15.59. 26k ride 1.06. 8k run 56.41. Overall 2.23.40
The difference between having a pretty good time and an awful time is In Your Mind.
Mucking up your Nutrition Plan isn't The End.
All you need to do when you're riding your bike is ride your bike.
8km is MUCH further than 5km.
If you just keep going, you get there.
Everything is easier with friends by your side - so THANKS.
Race report soon. I'm pretty tired.

More anon, strivers :)

Nuffin

That's what I have for you, my friends.
It's been a bit of an up-and-down week, nothing too fabulous, nothing too dire except the couple of days of upsetting (being frighteningly reminiscent of those dark days of chronic fatigue) bone-deep weariness and joint pain, which, thankfully, seems to be buggering off whence it came, and good riddance. Tiredness? Low iron? That disgusting germ-factory, sorry, my darling Noddie's latest cold, or her nightmares waking her (and Mummy) up every three hours four nights in a row? Going out of my MIND wondering whether my thesis markers will ever emerge, golem-like, from the department's dark maw and release my precious grade? Who knows, but pummelling it with sleep and vitamin C seems to have done the job. Can you overdose on VitC? There's nothing wrong with glowing in the dark anyway.

My dear friend Act-As-If LBTEPA had to step up and run my life for me this week. She was great, Acting As If I was in a good mood, As If I could give a rat's posterior about exercising, and (really punching above her weight here) As If I am the sort of person who generally eats and drinks in moderation. She did well: I don't hate myself for sinking into gloom, sloth and lardiness. Thanks mate!
Tomorrow I have to get up at half-past stupid o'clock and drive down the coast to sunny Portarlington for a triathlon. 'Cos I've paid for it and I said I would. I'll be treating it as a long, looooooooooooong training day now I have my A Race to focus on. Ooooh don't I sound all hardcore and keen? It's a bit longer than I've done before so it will be interesting to see how it goes (aka oh shit, I'm pretty sure this this is gunna hurt, not thinking about it not thinking about it not thinking about it). I'm not sure how the Nutrition Plan will go seeing as I have mucked up a bit of it already (I'll tell you later). I'm racing with my aero bars on my bike for the first time too. Nervous? Moi?Must go and pack the car now so I can have an early night.

We went to the beach today and had great fun with the waterproof case for the camera
More anon, grinners!

No guts, no glory. No, really.

It’s done. It’s on. I’ve finally decided – after weeks and weeks and weeks of whiny-arse cry-baby lala to-ing and fro-ing, from which, you will be pleased to realise, I have uncharacteristically spared you – that I WILL do the Bairnsdale Olympic Distance Triathlon in March. Yes, the Victorian Olympic Distance Championships. Yes, the one with the Bastard Hill (twice).
panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic
This is despite the following email from the race organiser, responding to my bleating about time cutoffs etc
Don't let that worry you - we don't have a cut off time and last year the legendary Bruce Burston (65-70) came in to hundreds of cheers in 3h25m.
Please Note: If I do anything under 3hr50min I will be leaping about with glee.*
I asked a lot of people whether they thought I should do it, given that I will be SMFL (Stone Motherless Last) by half an hour to a sixty-eight year old. The responses fell into two distinct categories – ARE YOU MAD? (the vast majority) and OF COURSE! WHO CARES IF YOU’RE LAST? IT’S ALL ABOUT HAVING A GO! (the crazily gung-ho). I know, I know, how disgustingly two-faced of me when I’ve ranted and raved about it not mattering how fast or slow you are..…but still..…I fear pain. And hills. Did I mention there are hills?
panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic
Once again the Spousal Unit revealed the key to it all. I quizzed him again** this morning as to whether he thought I should do it.
Well, I wouldn’t do it.
Why not?
I wouldn’t like to come last by half an hour. But you should do it.
Why?
You enjoy that sort of thing.
He’s right, you know.
I do enjoy - that's not quite the right word - facing the unknown; grappling with an idea my mind has somehow fixated on and worrying and worrying at it through the whole process of I can't do that, how can I do that?, I can do that! It’s the reason I ran my first half-marathon, just to see what it would be like. It was awful because I was so under-prepared, but also one of the most fun things I’ve ever done. This Olympic Tri will be really hard; it's the longest distance and time of anything I've ever attempted. It will be a window into what I'm really capable of. There's something satisfying about sucking down that little gulp of fear every time I think about it. Sort of.
panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic
I enjoy doing things that take consistent work over time. Things I have to earn. No-one will know if I skive off my long ride – except me when the Bastard Hill kicks my behind. To be honest, I enjoy being able to do things other people can’t - even if they’re things that other people are too bloody sensible to do! Is being a teeny bit smug really such a bad thing? Don't answer that. I like doing things I feel really proud of. Concentrating for a long time interests me. It’s fun (once again I am sure that's not the right word!) to try and work out what might happen and how I can prepare for it. I can feel a Nutrition Plan coming on! What I really enjoy is having stretch goals that make me feel faintly ill to think about. Is that a bit sick?
panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic
Now I have to work out a training plan with A Lot Of Bike – but enough swimming so I don’t drown in the Bay Swim. So difficult! So complicated! Tell me again, why am I doing this?
It’s the Gatorade tri in Portarlington this weekend. There are four Athenas! Not that I would ever say hahaha I TOLD you people would go in it if it was offered, oh no I would never say that no no no no. Have I run 8km in one go this year? Ummm, that would be once. Eek. Oh well.

More anon, Big Dreamers!
panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic
*Insofar as I am able to given that I will probably DIE.
**He's a patient man

For we are young and free

Race Report - Williamstown Australia Day swim
2km - 41.39
Swim rating - pleased*

What a GORGEOUS day. That's Noddie in the foreground; in the background you can see how unbelieeeeeeeeeeeeeeevably flat it was - I've never done a swim before where you could see all the buoys along the line at the same time! The water was clear, the sky was blue and the sun was shining....so there was no reason for my slightly disappointing time, but it was such a joy to be alive out there I'm really not fussed. My sister was good enough to pop along and take on Noddie-wrangling duties, which was lovely - without her I'd not only have been unable to participate, but I'd have had no hope of erecting or dismantling the @#$%ing @#$%er beach tent.When I told J I was going to write this race report his response was, what? Run into water; swim; swim more; swim more; finish? That'll be a short post! Now I can't think of anything else to say! Except for the sighting-impaired bloke who zigzagged back-and-forth in front of me for almost the whole way - I swear, if he learned to sight properly he'd have beaten me by miles. As it was, I eventually managed to get a few body lengths ahead of him, yay! Then because it was full low tide we had to run the last 50m through knee-deep water - or rather, being about eleven feet tall he scampered through it like some irritating giraffe while I waded crossly, so I was easily pipped to the line. Bother! Then it was off home to an afternoon of cricket on TV. Life's good, apart from the unfortunate after-effects of the rather strange choice of post-race refreshment - a curry pie. I think all the 1k swimmers took the plain ones. We live and learn.

I should put a bit in here about how lucky I feel to live in our fortunate nation. I fervently hope that over the next few years we can regain our standing in the world as a humane and honourable country. Australians all, let us rejoice!

More anon, aquamen!

*32 seconds slower than last year, which I rated as "thrilled". Hmmmm.

Grumpy, or no guts, no glory.

I'm grumpy and I've decided to take it out on you. You may have more fun if you come back tomorrow.

*Beginning of rant*
Over the last few weeks several people have told me they probably won't do (an event) because they'll be 'too slow' or will do a 'bad time'. It seems what they're really saying is that they don't want to join in because they don't think they'll be good enough at it.
Maybe these are just excuses to not do things that they don't want to do? In that case, why not say, well actually I don't want to do that because I'm not interested. Why make up fake reasons?
But what I want to know is this - waddya mean, 'good at'? Waddya mean, 'too slow'? Who said Time A is 'better' than Time B? Where did this come from? When did effort slide down the kudos scale?
We must STAMP OUT this thinking. It sucks the pure animal joy out of moving our bodies. It sucks the joy out of our well-earned triumphs and achievements. This kind of thinking makes us smaller than we are. It's a waste.
Accept that as an 'adult onset' athlete you will never be 'up there'. And unless you make your sport a, or even the, highest priority in your life - and if you really want that, then good on you, I will cheer you as you zoom by - and spend a huge amount of time and effort, and manage yourself really really carefully so you don't get injured, you still won't be 'up there' even if you've kept at your sport all your life. Suck it up.
Then go for real glory.
Have the guts to dream big. Accept your real limitations and responsibilities and still live the biggest life you can. What's tickling the back of your mind that you'd do 'if only'? Find a way.
Glorious.
Have the dedication to say, I know what I need to do - even if that means taking waaaay longer than you'd like - and I am prepared to do it (says she, who blew off yet another 5.30am this morning, sigh...).
Or else say, this isn't what I thought it was, it isn't for me , or it isn't the right time for me to do this.
Take heart and pride in the small daily triumphs over heredity and history and inertia and fear.
Glorious.
Glory is being out there out there in the waves and the dark and the wind and the sun. It's crossing that finish line you weren't really sure you would reach. Glory is in going harder than you thought you could and doing stuff you never imagined.
It's saying, well, that didn't go so well, but I did my best and I'm proud of myself. No-one cares what you look like or your time except you. How freeing is that?
Give those 'not good enough' thoughts the finger. Show up. Have a go. HAVE FUN.
See how good it feels?
*End of rant*

In other news:
Two nights ago I went to check on Noddie becuase she was being unnervingly quiet. She'd rearranged her bedroom furniture.

Just write something

It seems the longer I put off writing the harder it gets, so today is "drag self by scruff of neck to the puter and have at it" day! Mojo has been quite low this week in all respects - could it be the return of the Bastard Bacterial Infection and Horse Pills knocking me about? - I dunno, and I also don't know why I always blame my own lack of willpower/discipline/character/any redeeming qualities whatsoever when I sleep a lot (and don't train much) BECAUSE I'M SICK. But as we say here at chez LBTEPA after a Noddie-disciplining episode, that's fimished now. I think the main thing is to refrain from self-flagellation and remind myself that, let's be completely honest, my spot on the team for Beijing isn't at stake is it? Last night I was all fired up to spend forty-five minutes on my bike trainer when Noddie went into the tired/hot/a bit peaky four-year-old Complete Meltdown she'd been threatening all day. As Nancy's husband put it so eloquently, our highest duty is as parents: I hopped off the bike and onto Noddies bed to read her into calmness and sleep. The bike can wait.
So what's been happening? Half-past dark starts haven't been happening, so that means training has had to be sqeezed into the day and hasn't been happening as much as I'd like. It's been hot and Noddie has been tired and very difficult and thus AFDs haven't been happening - yes I am quite aware of my dysfunctional stress responses and I'm working on them *oooh, defensive aren't we?*.Luckily I've been reading in a lot of other blogs (another reason I haven't been writing? hmmm?)that other intrepid souls have been struggling mightily with CBB* syndrome. It's all very well to say 'Look at me! Here are my impressive plans!', but another altogether to commit to doing what it takes to make my dreams come true. I can't do it in that fired-up, all guns blazing way that suits many people. Fever pitch doesn't last. I just have to think - and act - myself into a state of mind where this is what I do. I get up early. I exercise regularly. I increase my workouts in accordance with my actual capabilities and don't get injured. I eat sensibly and drink in moderation.
I wear cool shoes- yes, I have jumped ship from asics to adidas; thus far the relationship seems very promising
and cool gloves- thanks for the bike shop voucher Mum!
and I run in lovely placesI have to move to my parents' town, I really do...
and I ride up big hillsOK it doesn't look that big from the top but seriously it was HUGE
I remember that all this exercising and racing is a get-to-do, not a have-to-do, and I have fun All The Time.

That's probably enough for today. Cheerio my ducklings!
more anon :)
*Can't Be Bothered

Gunna

All through the hoo-ha of my thesis at the end of last year I was looking forward to 2008 as my 'gunna year ' - I'm gunna do this, I'm gunna do that!
No uni! All that lovely lovely uncommitted time! I can get really tired and it won't matter!
Oh, the plans I have made!
Here they are.

Walk Noddie to kinder and be a kinder mum (I gather they cut up oranges and things? Ewww, I hate oranges *makes face* But I'll do it for Noddie). I was able to rearrange my work days so I have Noddie's kinder days off. Thanks boss!
Recreational reading? Sounds like fun! Bring on the trashy crime novels!*
Prune the roses. Our thirty six rose bushes have struggled on gamely the last two years but I keep expecting a handsome prince to ride out with Sleeping Beauty on his pommel.
Clean up the jungle/rubbish tip that the back of our yard and our shed have become while I've been too distracted to stop the Spousal Unit bringing Important Stuff home and leaving it around in huge messy piles arrgghh. I shouldn't go so crook at him when he made jam last night mmmm jam mmmm from the plums the birds didn't get but I'm just a big meany as you know.
Piano lessons. That tall wooden thing in our living room will no longer just be a place to put stuff out of Noddie's reach.
Sewing mmm new clothes mmmm, although since my twenty-two year old Singer died some of the fun has gone out of it - whipping it up on the Toyota doesn't have the same ring to it :(

And the really fun stuff....
26/01 Williamstown Australia Day Swim 2km
03/02 Gatorade Portarlington 800m/26km/8km
17/02 Gatorade Elwood 600m/20km/6km
24/02 Big Bay Swim Williamstown - Port Melbourne 3.4km
01/03 Pier to Perignon Swim Sorrento Portsea 4km. (maybe)
09/03 Victorian Olympic distance championships Bairnsdale 1500/40/10 (maybe)
30/03 Gatorade St Kilda 750m/20km/5km
11/05 Mothers' Day Run 8km
22/06 Run to the G Half Marathon (maybe)
06/07 Gold Coast Marathon. My very first shot at the Big One!
11/10 Melbourne Half Marathon. I WILL run around the G!
19/10 Bay in a Day Ride 210 km

.......who knows what else?

I can't wait.

More anon, big dreamers!
*how many exclamation marks can I use? Lots!!

why I can't possibly write anything.

I'm having far too good a time.
More anon, sybarites!

Closure

A very experienced triathlete said to me recently that we should think of what hills are doing for us, not what they are doing to us. I think this is a wise perspective and one I adopt whenever possible. Not when I'm actually riding up a hill, as I'm too busy swearing. But still. The Scary Bastard Hill makes me queasy with anxiety no more. More and more pissed off as it goes on and on and on, yes. Panting and red-faced with hurting legs, yes. Triumphant at the top, yes! Hill schmill. Bring it on! The arrow at the top of the elevation chart is where I stopped and turned back - twenty minutes up, ten minutes down, wheeeeee!
I had a moment of closure yesterday. I finished the run around the river trail that I started last Easter and abandoned when I tripped and snapped my ankle ligament.
I'm sorry I haven't posted much lately. I am so deep in holiday lassitude it's all I can do to get my Mum another cup of tea.
More anon, cruisers!

going to the country

So there I was all primed and bursting with enthusiasm and a New Plan (ooooh! a New Plan!) when POW! I was struck down with a stupid germy infection and have spent the last two days wobbling feebly about, bleating I'm sick in plaintive tones, and lying down in my room with the door shut while J took over arsenic hour (approx 5.30 - 8pm, for the edification of the child-free) parenting duties, mwahahaha. It was almost worth it.
Thanks to the miracles of modern horse-pills I am feeling much better today. I fished out a Pilates dvd that I bought at the supermarket ages ago - hey, Lisa McCune said I had to! who am I to ignore such wholesomeness? - and had an unco go at it. Noddie thought it was great fun and is insisting we take the dvd to Gran's tomorrow. Yes! We are off to my parents' for a week! The Spousal Unit is driving us up tomorrow and we are going to the races on Sunday - bring on the big hat, baby! - then he is going home in the evening and rejoining us next Friday for my Dad's 70th birthday. Poor J (he'd have had a better chance of getting holidays if he'd actually asked for some; my sympathy is limited cause I'm a big meany). We led an expedition of survival-trained SAS to the sleepout - also known as Mother's Despair or J's Black Hole O'Shite - and extracted the bike carrier so Minerva will be coming too! There's a tri I really kind of sort of have no idea why I want to do in March, which has a hill I really want to have conquered before I commit myself (to being DFL. In the Victorian Triathlon Chanpionships. Maybe I should just have myself committed). I Fear this hill. Driving up it makes me anxious. I WILL ride up it this week.

More anon, shake-n-bakers!

Happy New Year

The second annual NYD tri was hard work - it's 41 degrees today and the gym air conditioning, although struggling gamely, wasn't really up to it. But it was fun, in a sick way. Noddie had a sleepoverat Nanny and Pa's last night and J and I went to a party. It was quite like the old days - in the afternoon I whipped up a cool frock to wear, and we slept in until 9am!
Everyone is doing the big reflection/resolution thing and I think that's a good idea, but it's so f%&*ing hot here I'll have to do it in two parts.

WHAT I LEARNED IN 2007that springs to mind right this minute and what gave me the lesson.
Complaining, bitching, moaning and wallowing in self-pity is a normal and essential part of getting through hard stuff (ankle reconstruction, thesis)
Being really clear about your priorities makes life much simpler, if not easier (thesis).
Most things turn out ok if you are determined that they will (ankle reconstruction, thesis).
People's opinions may hurt me but they don't stop me (the Athena thing).
I am so blessed with loving people in my life. It's important to keep reaching out and telling them (J, family, nearby and online friends)
Big dreams fit into a little life if you let them (triathlon, uni).
Some people look at a problem and only see why it can't be solved. They are pains. Don't hang around with them. Hang around with people who see life as an adventure full of fun things to be enjoyed.

More on goals later, must fall asleep in front of, err I mean watch the Hopman Cup

Happy New Year, my friends :)

Party's over

What a great Christmas. Santa brought a new camera!*
After accidentally going to an Italian-language Mass (don't ask) we had a sit down Christmas dinner for 6 with the flash china and all the festive table decorations. In keeping with the spirit of love and joy of the day I refrained from murdering my mother-in-law.
3 hours later the rest of my family arrived for the present-swapping extravaganza and verandah chillout, including my parents and their astonishingly tall new dog. It was great fun to see everyone, catch up and just be together. Like most families we've had our share of tensions and rows over time: this year was a wonderful blessing. Especially the news that there will be a new niece or nephew arriving in June! Congratulations M and L!Boxing day was a haze of cuppas, the Sydney-Hobart and the Test. There was a lot of sitting down and eating another mince pie.
The 27th, J's birthday, was another cleaning-and-cooking endurathon - but get this - I burnt the birthday cake! I couldn't believe it! Good thing no-one knew or I'd have had to kill them. It was a great party, loud and silly(this is not me. It is my tiger suit) and packed with good friends .The 28th was spent destroying the evidence by more or less upending the house into the recycle bin then hosing it out.
Now the party's over and I'm glad. December was so crazy that there was no time for a Plan, only exercising when it fit in. I managed 5 times a week of this and that, but now I am thrilling to the sweet call of crossed-off boxes and quiet sunrises. It's time for a new Plan.
BTW, is anyone up for a New Year's Day Tri? I did one last year as part of an online event and it was so much fun I think I'll do another one to kick off 2008.

More anon, enthusiasts!
*Ans you have no doubt noticed.
My younger bro gave me the complete set of Fred and Ginger movies! Bliss!

HB 2U SU!

Happy Birthday to the Spousal Unit!

*Normal services, including moderation, real food and intentional exercise, had better resume shortly or I might pop.

Joyful and triumphant

Wishing you a happy and safe Christmas full of love.

Unbelievably relaxed

is the zeitgeist here at chez LBTEPA this post-thesis pre-Christmas week. Finish up work? Clean the house, shovel out the study (cause it's the spare room as well), catch up with the mountain of washing, train every day and get enough sleep? Christmas lunch with the in-laws segueing into dinner for fourteen as the family wanders in? Easy peasy when you're fuelled by post-thesis, pre-Christmas, summer holiday smiles. And mince pies. And the cd player stacked with carols. Sing it with me, you know you want to - O tidings of comfort and joy!
The best surprise of all is that my best, oldest, funniest friend A is arriving from Perth tonight! I am officially Over Excited. I hope you're all enjoying the lead-up to Christmas . If you're not, I can recommend a very good book .
UPDATE: that story everyone tells that the first and probably only didn't-clip-out-in-time fall from your bike will be at a virtual stop, at a crowded intersection next to a car full of jeering hoons, and nothing will be damaged but your ego? TRUE.

More anon, choristers!

It seemed like a good idea at the time

to celebrate the end of the academic year with a 4km swim...
and it was!
I was going to do a race report but you've all been so sweet about the last one LOL and the technicalities of open water swimming - sight up-swell of the bouys so you're using the swell direction to keep swimming straight, for example - are a bit esoteric and lacking in that pep and punch with which I try to endow my posts.
I had such a good time I don't feel like thrashing the details to death - it was well organised, the rain wasn't too hard and flattened the waves down a bit, I was pleased with my time, and the sausage in bread (with onions and sauce) I had in the warm car afterwards as the rain poured down was one of the yummiest things I've ever eaten.

The thesis has landed

Let the happy dance commence!

The epic adventure of the Comeback Kid

Race report: Gatorade Tri series race 2 Elwood
500/20/5
Warning: VERY LONG. VERY VERY LONG. I’m not joking. Really, bail out now if you’re not feeling up to a full-on endurathon

Pre-race
You will be unsurprised, yet thrilled, that I worked out my Nutrition Plan - all hail the mighty Nutrition Plan! - and had my stuff all packed/laid out for the morning by 9.30 on Saturday night. This was (let me pop in a quick Parental Advisory Warning here) without even writing a list! Shocking. I’m such a rebel.
There was one crisis – what to wear. Planned garb was a navy and white sleeveless running top, but the Nutrition Plan called for eating on the bike. I have yet to succumb to temptation and get a bento box and I couldn’t think how to attach a sports bar to my top tube. The Spousal Unit said, why don’t you wear that yellow bike top? I said, oooh, it’s not very flattering. So I tried them both on and the Spousal Unit thought they were equally flattering (bless him). Then it occurred to me that racing in the running top was APOLOGETIC. It said, I have flab on my waist so I have to hide. It said, I’m sorry I have double digit body fat, I’ll get out of your way. The yellow it was.
Sunday morning I woke up and rolled out of bed just before the stupid o’clock alarm and was out the door by stupid-45. Getting up early most days has had the unexpected benefit of…er…how can I put this?...training my digestive system to cooperate when required. Very handy indeed, and that’s enough said about that.
I raced at Elwood last year so I had my magic-secret-parking-place all cased out.
Check in, stickers on, find wave start time, transition set up, off down to the beach to watch the mini-sprint swim start. Did you notice forget to note transition rack number? So simple to do, yet so tiresome!
The atmosphere at these things is brilliant. The field for both races reaches 2,500 so transition covers a footy oval and the place is abuzz; the big clubs and some schools have marquees and everyone seems excited and pleased to be there. Down at the beach I ran into M and her boyfriend G. M was upset because she wanted to race as an Athena too but the change wasn’t processed in time. G was trying not to be too excited because he was in the final three for the pro-for-a-day prize – and ended up being chosen! Go G go!
I also went up and introduced myself to the CEO of Supersprint, who was as charming face to face as he was on the phone. As per the Nutrition Plan I sucked down a breakfast drink and kept sipping water. Soon it was time to traipse back to the bag compound and suit up. The water was quite warm, although a bit choppy: I contemplated ditching the wetsuit but decided to stick to the plan cos it was miiiiiiiiiiiiiles back to the bag dropoff and I wanted to stay cruisy.

Swim: apart from a recent precipitous decline in training – the thesis came first, alas! – there were no problems. It was a bit crowded around the buoys and choppy as it got deeper but the ride home on the swell reminded me why I love ocean swimming.

T1: I’d been mentally rehearsing this all through the swim. Rip down the wettie, off with cap and goggles. Where the f*&%is my bike? What’s my f*&%ing row number? Found it! (phew) Out of the wetsuit (thank you cooking spray), food out of helmet (where I put it so I wouldn’t forget it) into pockets, jam on helmet and sunnies. The two-towel-trick (two towel trick …that’s fun to say!) worked well again. My stuff is laid out on the first towel; I put the second one on top of it all, then flick it out and stand on it while I put my socks and shoes on. Whatever grass and sand doesn’t come off from stepping on the towel stays on – and before you cry ‘precious!’, my ankle is still very tender around the scar and a sock protects it a bit. My bike shoes have laces and Velcro – don’t ask, I didn’t know what I was doing when I bought them – so I tied the laces very loosely when I was preparing so I could just jam my feet in and zoom off. I velcroed my gloves onto my handlebars so I could put them on when I got going. I might not bother with them next time though.

Ride: My race plan for all three legs was ‘don’t get comfortable’. I tried to go just a bit faster than felt good; no saving myself, no doubting myself, just go. If I blew up in the run, stiff bikkies. The Nutrition Plan called for half a sports bar and a whole bottle of water on the bike, so that’s what I had. Next time I’ll open the bar beforehand cos it was a bore getting it out on the move. It was a bit disheartening to be passed by so many people, but that’s what you get when you ride like you’re tied to a tree, eh? Actually I was quite pleased with the bike time as for me it was pretty fast. Being passed by the big boys on their carbon-fibre wheels was wild – fwoom fwoom fwoom and they were gone in a blur. My legs hurt a bit in the second loop but I told myself they were supposed to and that once I finished all I had to do was run a 5km, just like I do three mornings a week, rain, hail, shine, heat or hangover.

T2: I have no idea why this took as long as it did, apart from having to find my f*&%ing bike rack arrgghh! Helmet off, hat on, bike shoes off, runners on. Note to self: buy some elastic laces. Run run run. Did you notice forget to take off bike gloves? Thank goodness for those pockets, eh?

Run: Plan A was to try and maintain 9:1 run:walk for as long as possible, walk through the water stations, and eat a mouthful of sports beans at the first water stations (thus spaketh the Nutrition Plan). To my surprise I didn’t have to use Plan B (4:1 run:walk) at all! I kept repeating to myself, just relax, just hold your form, your form will get you home, just the way I’d practiced on my morning runs. It was so gratifying to be able to keep going, never too comfortable, just keep going, all the way home. I was pretty tired in the finishing chute but was startled from my concentration by M (whose wave was 40 minutes before mine), bellowing encouragement. Bugger this, I thought, I’m bloody going for it (a bit of tiredness Tourette’s there, sorry). How fast could I go? Could I catch the woman ahead of me? The answers to that were: a bit faster, and yes I could!
In honour of the lovely Wes – who ran his first marathon this weekend, huge congratulations mate! – I raised my arms in triumph as I ran under the arch. Then a very nice lady took off my chip and J and Lara were waiting for me.

Post race: drink drink drink water water water.
We met up with M and G and toddled over to the awards area so he could get his prize. I told J and M I was tired and didn’t need anyone sneering at me so I’d just go home and they could post me my medal. They threatened to drag me up if I didn’t go when I was called and J is very strong so I gave in. Part of me was proud and thrilled at my PB and how strong I felt and how my ankle didn’t give a single twinge; part of me was frightened in case someone from That Forum was hateful to my face, and a bit angry that I couldn’t enjoy it all properly because I was frightened. I got up when they called my name, but then they started calling the next group (the Clydes I think) to the podium so the helpers just gave me a medal (and a very nice new bike jersey which I wasn’t expecting), promised to send me a medal with Athena on it and that was that. M was cross (she’s a very good friend) but I was kind of relieved.
When all the other competitors had gone I got on the podium with my medal and J took my photo.
After a sleep in the afternoon we went to J’s work Christmas party which was a complete hoot as usual. Monday morning my feet were tired from dancing so much. A good day.

Important things to remember.
Consider going without the wetsuit.
Note bike rack row number!
Don’t bother with bike gloves for a sprint distance
Open energy bar package beforehand
Vaseline prevents chafing ow ow ow ow ow.

The End.

Geez I’m glad this is over. Bring on Christmas – that’s if my supervisor ever reappears and reads my thesis so I can hand it in.

More anon, pontificators!

172, 129, 77, 7

172 - days since ankle reconstruction surgery
129 - days since plaster was removed so I could swim again
77 - days since I got the all clear to run and ride
7 - minute PB today for 500/20/5, yeeeeeee haaaaaaaaa!

Do you like my medal*? Even though there weren't any other Athenas, I think I earned it! BTW that thing Noddie is holding and in which she is so very interested is a sandwich.
More anon, darlings.
*It has "women's 65+" engraved on it cos they weren't expecting me, but they promised to send me another one ROFL

move along, nothing to see here

*picks self up, brushes self off, pretends nothing happened*
My uni supervisor rang me and said I could have another couple of weeks to finalise the Thesis that is Eating My Life and since I have already done my Christmas shopping I am going to take it.
I wish wish wish wish wish, oh how I wish it was OVAH but as a long-time mark-slut (no comment from you please Eat 'em), if I can get a few more points by dragging this out into eternity (Dec 20th) then I will. At least now I'm not so frantic; it just means I'll do the swim next Sunday on practically zero preparation cause I had scheduled my last, ok my only >2.5km swim for next Wednesday and now I'll be holed up in the stats lab instead. Such is life, eh? They can't close the course on me LOL
I tried a 9:1 run:walk interval instead of the usual 4:1 yesterday as a practice for this Sunday's triathlon TIANLFTBADBITRT*. Verdict: doable, especially if I remember to eat on the bike**. My orthotics have arrived back too, right in the nick of time! My life is so dramatic!
I'll probably have to think about cleaning the house too - in the tunnel-vision get-it-done-this-week existence from which I have just emerged, vacuuming and toilet scrubbing have been the least of my worries. Now as I look about me and survey the squalor I realise that this Cannot Continue. I'll just have to move to another house.

more anon, treadmill-escapees!

*That I Am Not Looking Forward To But Am Doing Because It's The Right Thing - and will no doubt end up enjoying hugely.
**Sprint shmint, it will take me close to two hours and I can't do that without fuel.

Conversations

Now I promise I haven't been wallowing in things and feeling all bullied and sorry for myself or any of that namby-pamby la-la B.S. That is Not How We Do Things here at Chez LBTEPA. However, I was rabbiting on to the Spousal Unit the other day that I knew I should do the triathlon this Sunday, even though I hadn't planned to, but I didn't want to because I could just imagine being jeered by nasty types from That Forum and it made me feel sick. The Spousal Unit answered, well, that means you have to do it then.
He often irks me beyond measure, but by crikey times like these prove the Spousal Unit is rock-solid gold (and how clever I was to marry him). It is that simple. I have to do it, and I'm going to, ready or not (and that would be 'not').
I smsd my friend M, who is doing the whole series, that I was coming along on Sunday. She rang back to see what was going on because I hadn't planned to race until next year. I outlined the ...er...background to my decision, and her first words were, right, I'm changing my entry to Athena.
So there will be two of us. M may be as mad as a meataxe* but what a good, true friend she is.

Now all I have to do is finish revising my thesis, get it bound and hand it in. THAT'S ALL?
Oh, and do some washing so I have something to race in on Sunday, run in tomorrow and ride in on Friday.
And plan my transitions
And my nutrition
And pick up my new orthotics
And run in them at least once
And pack my race bag
And work out family logistics (are they coming? Are we all going in the same car? etc etc etc etc)
And decide what to wear to J's work party on Sunday night (always a top do, and worth frocking up for)
And maybe buy some food
And did I mention I have to finish my thesis? AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
*laughs hysterically, slaps self on face, tells self to please GET a GRIP*
Excuse me while I go and have a little lie down....no, no time! Onward!

more anon, noggin spinners!

*M completely smegged her knee snowboarding in August yet is adamant that she WILL complete the whole series even if she has to walk all the runs, and even if she is risking chronic injury. Her boyfriend and I are beside ourselves, but what can you do? We love her.

SUB women's bike ride

That was SO MUCH FUN!

55 km, 2:32. Just the thing for the first day of summer - 700+ happy, friendly women enjoying cameraderie and adventure on a beautiful Saturday morning. Nancy please note matching lippy and nails, I'm keeping up the standard mate! I was thinking of it as a bit of a practice for the Olympic tri I'm vaguely kind of sort of at the back of my mind considering in January, so my nutrition strategy was water every 15 minutes, and starting an hour in, half an energy bar every half hour. It worked really well; I never had that awful, morale-sucking weariness and finished well capable of tackling the rest of the day - I went straight from the ride to a 4th birthday party (arrgghh), then our friends had a sherbet-fuelled barbecue in the evening. Thanks to my good planning I was able to tough it out :P

We are having a lovely quiet morning after yesterday's craziness. Christmas carols are on shuffle on the cd player and J and Noddie are decorating the tree. I'm thrilled to state that Noddie is vigorously spurning the tasteful, less-is-more approach to tree ornamentation.
I must get back to the bastard thesis (I'm hoping to knock it over today, then next week will be a matter of small revisions and formatting), but first must share with you the utter fabulousness of Geekgirl and SB : they are running the Las Vegas marathon dressed as Elvis, helping to set a world record of running Elvi!More anon, grinners!
BTW, I just turned over my calendar and found this.

Most people are very nice

Well what a bloody roller-coaster.
I deleted yesterday's post because I didn't want to subject you to the flood of invective and vitriol which was the major Australian triathlon forum's response to my posting that there was now an Athena category and could they let anyone know who might be interested. There are no rockets falling on my house so I won't say it was a nightmare, but I have never witnessed, let alone been subjected to such a sustained attack. Nasty nasty nasty, and utterly, viciously prejudiced against larger women. I was particularly upset when this tirade spilled over to coolrunnings.
However, this morning I have
- been out on my bike and not got a flat.
- received nine encouraging emails and private messages from both forums (THANKS to you all, you are GREAT)
- spoken to the EOC and withdrawn my complaint as the inequity about which I was concerned has been redressed.
-had a long conversation with the CEO of Supersprint during which all the misunderstandings which had led to this unpleasantness (mostly created by the threatening attitude of the EOC officer, sadly) were cleared up. I was encouraged to compete as an Athena and promised every support.
- contacted Transitions and had my membership removed. Those people are not what triathlon, and sport in general, are about.

Now back to my thesis. If I work hard I might be able to hand the bastard in early and do the sprint tri next Sunday.

2r = f squared

Yes, two rides and two flats. It was a lovely morning though.
This time I had the thing changed and was off in twenty minutes, a PB!
Writing the results section of my thesis has so far taken two days. Then I must write the discussion, the abstract, the table of contents and make sure it's all in APA style.
There's no way out of this but through.
EDIT:

I. AM. GOBSMACKED.

The Equal Opportunity Commission just rang.

SUPERSPRINT HAVE INCLUDED AN ATHENA CATEGORY IN THE GATORADE TRI SERIES!*

More anon, crusaders!
*I am LBTEPA, hear me roar!LOL

Blunk drogging

Oh, happy, happy day!

Normal service will resume shortly (hic!)

Flat

No, not a post about AWOL mojo nor a thesis-induced coma of frustration, but the epic tale of Minerva's first flat tyre!
Oooh gosh LBTEPA, you say, how very hardcore you are, riding about having flats and bravely mending them all by yourself in the middle of nowhere!
Alas, had it but been that simple.....had success not been thwarted by the slings and arrows of circumstance....alas!
Now read on....
Wake up feeling crampy and blah.
Decide to go out anyway
Put sunnies in pocket as still pretty dark
Ride
Watch sun rise, feel all privileged and cool
Take (fortunately el-cheapo) sunnies out of pocket
Drop them on road and watch truck run over them
Consider going home
Ride on
....
Notice back tyre is flat
Think to self, it would be the back tyre, wouldn't it?
Feel pleased I've had practice getting back wheel undone putting Minerva on the trainer
Resolve to never let the Spousal Unit (henceforth known as 'ol Iron Hands) put the back wheel on again
Briefly consider ringing Spousal Unit so he can undo the 'quick release' (hahahaha)
Struggle on
Cut finger
Undo 'quick release'
Remove wheel
Feel pleased at having remembered to put tyre levers in bike bag
Feel pleased at remembering how to use tyre levers
Feel pleased at having remembered to put spare tube in bike bag
Feel pleased at remembering how to get tube back in
Feel extremely pleased at remembering how to get tyre back on
Begin pumping up tyre
Check that valve doover is done up
Check that other valve doover is undone
Pump tyre
cut finger on pump
Check that valve doover is done up
Check that other valve doover is undone
Pump tyre
......
Check time.
Ring Spousal Unit for a lift home
Convince self it must be a faulty valve.
Feel cross at equipment failure preventing heroic journey - and tale - of obstacles overcome. 'Cause by crikey, although I do confess that until it came to the crunch I was a bit dubious about being able to do all the other stuff, I know I can pump up a tyre.
Put back wheel back on easily
Feel very surprised
Clean small proportion of total grease and mud from about my person
Wait by side of road.
Get lift home from Spousal Unit and Noddie
Tell Spousal Unit about eleven times that it wasn't my fault and I didn't just give up
Make Noddie's lunch, get her dressed, eat breakfast, shower, dress, take Noddie to childcare
Take Minerva to petrol station
Fail to inflate tyre using petrol station air thingy
Feel vindicated
Take Minerva to bike shop
Bike shop man has to hit JAMMED valve with a hammer to make it work
Feel vindicated
Buy new red bike sunnies


It's election day on Saturday. I'll be handing out how-to-vote cards in Orbost. You can make a difference to the future of this country. So do it.

More anon, comrades!

Happy birthday Noddie

Happy birthday darling.

What a lovely time we had :)

My brain hurts

The last three days I've been in the lab running analyses on my paltry data set and surpise surprise have found nothing approaching normality in the results so in order to fulfill the assumptions I've had to transform them all which helped with some but not all of them so then I ran my correlations and - hoorah! - found a significant positive correlation supporting my main hypothesis, but also - boo! - found a significant positive correlation between two of the factors of that scale and the dependent variable so I had to run partial correlations which immediately cancelled out the original significant finding (#$%*!).
*LATER: Hang on - I just worked out why that's not a bad thing, DOH! Jeez I'm slow...oh well, still 24 more sleeps to work on it.
It's Noddie's birthday on Sunday - we are making tiaras, don't you wish you were me? Of course you do. Tomorrow will be a slog of cleaning, cake making and icing, and decorating the house with ballons and streamers and Happy Birthday signs (here at chez LBTEPA we Do Not f#$% around on birthdays). Thank goodness I got the really hellish bit (shopping) out of the way this morning.

So I got nuffin what-so-evah for you today.
Good thing Kathryn tagged me the other day, eh?

Four dishes I like to cook:
1. Mrs. Miller’s chocolate cake – 3 eggs, 2 cups sugar, 250g butter…birthday decadence especially with butter icing. Mrs. Miller was a parent at St Bernard’s Bacchus Marsh when my mother taught there in about 200BC. She (Mrs. M) had 7 children so this is a BIG cake. So easy too – email me for the recipe
2. Boiled fruit cake. I can just about recite this recipe. Again, super easy and yummy.
3. Bread and butter pudding (are you seeing a theme here?
4. Cupboard surprise – when I look in the cupboard and am very surprised when there's somthing in there I can cobble together into a tasty repast (see also Fridge Surprise).
I don’t really like cooking which is why, when the Spousal Unit took over the cooking in order to avoid starvation when I was pregnant, I cunningly never took it back. Mwhahaha

Four qualities I love in people:
1. Kindness
2. Listening
3. Enthusiasm!
4. Reliability

Four places I have been:
1. Japan
2. Italy
3. Canada
4. Korea

Four things in my bedroom
1. The Spousal Unit
2. things I like to look at (besides the Spousal Unit)
· Jorg Schmeisser etching of sheep
· print of Monet’s Garden at Giverny
· Framed poem in Korean calligraphy
· Japanese woodblock print
3. Three clocks
4. My race bling, hanging from the corner of the mirror

Four dirty words I like to use:
1. Duty
2. Happy
3. Principles
4. Smeg

I tag Morsey, Jeanne and Lisa.

Smeg! I've just realised the time, I'm going home.
Have a great weekend all!

Mysteries of the universe

Now I'm by no means into all that Secret stuff, but an interesting thing happened to me recently. I have become disturbingly fixated on a BIG cycling goal for 2008. Of course I have been through the I could never do THAT/ how impossible/ terrifying/ exciting/ how can I make this happen? thought process many times over since the initial crazy notion tickled my brain.
Given my current zero-ish bike base I'll need to ride really consistently all winter to build up even an approximation of the necessary endurance, so once I'd broken the news of this latest and greatest-ever insanity* to the Spousal Unit I told him I wanted a bike trainer for my birthday. We started talking to bike people about the right sort to get, prices etc etc; it was all coming together nicely.
A week ago at the physio I was burbling on about my mad plan, mostly to distract myself from swearing at him for trying to force his thumb all the way through my calf. During a particularly evil manoeuver he remarked, we've got a bike trainer we never use, you can have it if you like.
Ooooh, really? said I, immediately more cheery despite the agony.
So yesterday I exchanged a gift-wrapped bottle of very nice champagne, cause I'm classy like that, for my new toy. And I put it together by myself, and it works properly too.
I don't think I attracted it, but what do I know?

Sleeps til Noddie's birthday - 5
Sleeps til the election (my Mum is the secretary of her local ALP branch; I always hand out how-to-vote cards and act as general factotum for her) - 11
Sleeps til SUB women's bike ride* - 18
Sleeps til thesis* due - 27
Sleep til big swim* - 32

Don't expect much sense out of me for the next month is all I'm saying.
More anon, pioneers!

*After all, what IS life without a stretch goal that makes you feel vaguely ill to contemplate? I haven't told you about my 08 running goal either, have I?

Believe

This was going to be all long and profound but I want to have a nanna nap before Noddie insists that she's had a rest and wants to come out of her room now.
So.
This week I got to believe.
Believe that all those weeks of stumbling, half-arsed, half-hearted, half-baked efforts, all the stuff-ups, blow-ups, make-it-ups, I-give-ups, all the plugging away at The Plan despite feeling inadequate and helpless and undisciplined and doomed-to-be-lardy forever
- all that -
will get me where I want to go eventually if I just keep trying to do the right thing.
Yes. They will. I know this because
- the number on the scale on Friday started with a 7. O, how I have looked forward to this day!
- I rode my bike for more than an hour.
- I cranked out 2km in the pool. Then I entered the 4km swim I was wavering over because now I think I can do it.
Unimaginable.
But mine, mine, all mine!
Cos I kept at it. I gave up, threw up my hands, said it was too hard and I didn't care, lots of times - just ask the Spousal Unit. But I always got back to it. Now I have this week, and this happy feeling, to keep me going back to it.
Dream big, keep taking little steps, and believe. I could be on to something.

In other news, it's Noddie's birthday next week and the guest list she dictated to her father is as follows:
Nanny and Pa
Gran and Grandad
Uncles, Aunts and cousins (assorted)
Dorothy
Glinda
5 little friends
Bob and Wendy
A, my best friend who lives in Perth
my naughty little sister and Bad Harry
Justine and Andrew from Play School. Mind you if Rhys popped in as well I wouldn't complain. Rwowr.
Should be a blast.

Bummer, there's Noddie already, finished adorning every inch of her bedroom floor with her toys and books and her paraphernalia and ready to start on the rest of the house.

*SUNDAY EDIT: The 7 has gone again, curse those mind-messing scales (and that chinese food). But I know what I saw.
More anon, jugglers!