Just write something

It seems the longer I put off writing the harder it gets, so today is "drag self by scruff of neck to the puter and have at it" day! Mojo has been quite low this week in all respects - could it be the return of the Bastard Bacterial Infection and Horse Pills knocking me about? - I dunno, and I also don't know why I always blame my own lack of willpower/discipline/character/any redeeming qualities whatsoever when I sleep a lot (and don't train much) BECAUSE I'M SICK. But as we say here at chez LBTEPA after a Noddie-disciplining episode, that's fimished now. I think the main thing is to refrain from self-flagellation and remind myself that, let's be completely honest, my spot on the team for Beijing isn't at stake is it? Last night I was all fired up to spend forty-five minutes on my bike trainer when Noddie went into the tired/hot/a bit peaky four-year-old Complete Meltdown she'd been threatening all day. As Nancy's husband put it so eloquently, our highest duty is as parents: I hopped off the bike and onto Noddies bed to read her into calmness and sleep. The bike can wait.
So what's been happening? Half-past dark starts haven't been happening, so that means training has had to be sqeezed into the day and hasn't been happening as much as I'd like. It's been hot and Noddie has been tired and very difficult and thus AFDs haven't been happening - yes I am quite aware of my dysfunctional stress responses and I'm working on them *oooh, defensive aren't we?*.Luckily I've been reading in a lot of other blogs (another reason I haven't been writing? hmmm?)that other intrepid souls have been struggling mightily with CBB* syndrome. It's all very well to say 'Look at me! Here are my impressive plans!', but another altogether to commit to doing what it takes to make my dreams come true. I can't do it in that fired-up, all guns blazing way that suits many people. Fever pitch doesn't last. I just have to think - and act - myself into a state of mind where this is what I do. I get up early. I exercise regularly. I increase my workouts in accordance with my actual capabilities and don't get injured. I eat sensibly and drink in moderation.
I wear cool shoes- yes, I have jumped ship from asics to adidas; thus far the relationship seems very promising
and cool gloves- thanks for the bike shop voucher Mum!
and I run in lovely placesI have to move to my parents' town, I really do...
and I ride up big hillsOK it doesn't look that big from the top but seriously it was HUGE
I remember that all this exercising and racing is a get-to-do, not a have-to-do, and I have fun All The Time.

That's probably enough for today. Cheerio my ducklings!
more anon :)
*Can't Be Bothered