not far from the tree

It's been a quiet week in Lake LBTEPA

Not much going on other than the usual Friday swim, get Noddie up/fed/dressed, make beds, clean kitchen, fold washing, go to the pool with Noddie, lunch and vegie shopping at the market, grocery shopping, drop stuff off at the op shop and physio, force Noddie to have quiet time, walk to the Sharing Park*, watch Play School, make Noddie's dinner, organise the bath - type stuff.

Oh, and we bought Noddie some new shoes.
She chose them herself .


Heredity is a scary thing.


More anon, bon vivants!

*The Sharing Park is at the end of our street. J and I named it when Noddie used to shout at other children children for going on 'her' slide.

Sofa so good

ooh aren't I just sooo funny?

Plan FTF is going interestingly well – "feeling the feelings' seems to be ‘unblocking’(ewww! airy fairy psychobabble! eeewwwww!) lots of things. Tired angry scared things, wafting off to the universe and leaving me the better for their absence. Overall I’m just feeling happier and more calm. If I practice hard, who knows, maybe it will last.

I’m noticing particular times I think about a nice glass of red wine – organising Noddie’s bath and dinner (hunger, frantic-ness); after she’s been put to bed (phew…); when I sit down to work on the bastard thesis (freakout!). Recognising they are just feelings, not imperatives, makes it easier to do something else instead.
Blog-divas Mary and Lisa have made lists of 10 things that they are grateful for/ happy about - Mary is actually doing a list every day for the next 14 days, so she’ll have one for each mile of her Ironman on August 26th! Tell you what, why don’t you nip over there and tell her she’s a legend? I’ll wait here.
Back now? Hi again!

10 things for which I am grateful.
1. It’s getting light in the morning by the time I get home from the pool

2. The jonquils are out – which means it’s nearly SPRING!
3. My new togs.
4. The woman who wears her pjs to the pool every morning (and doesn’t appear to bring any other clothes – does she wear them home as well? In daylight?)
5. Finally seeing some coherence in my thesis.
6. You - my supportive and thoughtful blog friends.
7. If you mix Velish into pasta sauce your 3yo will suck it up like a super-sopper and ask for more. Mwahahaha!
8. My car heater on these lovely clear – but frosty – mornings.
9. The new desk-tidy in my study. Mmmmmmmmm…tidy……….and mine is blue.
10. Thinking about the souvlaki I am going to have for lunch.

Now, why don't you have a go?

More anon, accomplices!

PLAN FTF

*WARNING: LSAP (long self-absorbed post) AHEAD*

How many times can I say it? – you people are the BEST. I do appreciate your thoughtful responses and shared experiences enormously. They have certainly informed my New Plan (‘cause you know I do like me a plan….)

This might sound a bit defensive but I want it out there – I have never even been close to drink driving, OR not being able to look after Noddie. I am a self-critical catastrophiser so I have been worrying about what might happen if I continue along this path. A long time ago I read a post on a weight loss blog where the writer (in the middle of a huge weight-loss journey) had found herself irritated by a colleague who was stressing about having 5 pounds to lose. Bah, 5 pounds? she thought. Try having 50 pounds to lose – and then she thought.…what if I’d started worrying at 5 pounds? What if I’d said here’s the line, that’s enough? That’s my thinking about this drinking issue. It’s a small-ish problem now, with the potential to become very serious if I don't do something about it. The line is here.

Now the plan is this......
F.T.F.
Feel. The. Feelings.
Ooooh, profundity, so early in the day! But what does it all mean?

I was particularly affected by Angel and Jeanne asking me to look at why my drinking is creeping up, and what I am using it for. It's clear to me that I often use it – and other, possibly more socially acceptable, yet equally inappropriate-when-abused activities (Hi ebay! Hi rice crackers!) – to avoid my feelings. Agitation, anxiety, anger, frustration, fear – why not put something in my mouth? Hey presto - instant calm! Instant finally-getting-one-f%&*ing-second-to-myself! Instant comfort!
I am always inspired by the magnificent Duane. He has written that since he stopped medicating himself with food he has cried more than he has in the last decade – but he’s also happier than he has been for ten years. In his honour I tried an experiment yesterday. Whenever I felt edgy or tense, I sat with it for a moment and puzzled out what the feeling really was. Named it. I experienced it instead of making myself tired pushing it away. If it was illogical I challenged it (why on earth would J be angry because it took longer than I thought to drop Mum at the station? And if he is, so what?). And I felt better. Every time. All day.
That’s the plan for now. Whenever those ‘trigger feelings’ hit, I will take the time to FEEL them. That way my actions will be my choice rather than mere reactions to unpleasant stimuli. I’ll see where that takes me.

I promise the next post will be chock-full of amusing anecdotes about the inadvisability of teaching your small child the words ‘flatulence’ and ‘inevitable’. And possibly ravings about how much I enjoy driving my car now I don't need crutches any more...and swimming........... mmmmmmmmmmm swimming.......and a picture of my chart with more boxes crossed off....
You have been warned.....

More anon, lab rats!

Seriously, folks

This post breaks the cardinal LBTEPA rule ‘cheerful follows whiny’. This isn’t a cheerful post, but then neither is is it complaining or sad – actually, writing it (this is the third draft, I’m such a perfectionista LOL) has made me feel quite cheerful! So there you go.

I need your help, my friends. This is probably the most personal thing I’ve ever put into my blog. I need to cut waaaaaaaaaaaaay back on my drinking. It has crept up and up over these last few months; since I got out of the cast and life has become harder and more painful it’s got to a point where I’m a bit worried about it. This feels very shameful and I’ve been putting off writing about it – my protestant teetotal background talking. But I want to get it back under control. It’s a bad habit at this stage. Habits can change. A hard day with Noddie, yet another day banging my head on the thesis train wreck, being unable to do something I wanted to because my foot is too sore – these things do not need anaesthetic!
I don’t have a plan yet, but I have a goal. I want to go from at-least-a-couple-of-glasses-almost-every-night (my stomach turns thinking about posting that, but it’s the truth) to about twice a week. Star stickers and crossing-off boxes on my chart have proven ineffective strategies. I’ll think of something.

This issue sort of symbolises the way I feel my whole life is going – making excuses and letting my standards slip. I used to be proud of my self-discipline, and now I’m not. Even under the circumstances – yes, this has been a hard year – this has gone too far. I hope letting you guys into my shameful little secret will give me the kick up the backside I need.
...........
no, that’s really not right. Having you all on my side will give me the motivation I need. So thanks!

More anon, drinkers-in-moderation!

Cheerful my lardy posterior

You'd better thank Duane for tagging me as it means I will not be writing about how fed-up, slack, lazy, stupid, undisciplined, fat, unmotivated, sore, disorganised, unpleasant, whiny and cranky I am feeling today. A lucky escape for you.

Jobs I’ve Held
Gym attendant; Tutor; Pool lifeguard; Personal carer; ESL teacher; Training officer; OH&S consultant

Movies I Can Watch Over & Over
The Wizard of Oz
Fred and Ginger movies - so suave, so graceful, so beautifully dressed!
Jackie Chan movies - so strong, so acrobatic, so fast!
Rocky Horror Picture Show
The Full Monty

My Guilty Pleasures
Blogging
Ebay
red wine
driving my car vvvvvvvvrrrrrroooooooooooooommmmmmmm!
I was going to say shoes but I don’t feel guilty about them

Places I have lived (in order)
Melton, Victoria; Ballarat, Victoria; Melbourne, Victoria; Japan; Melbourne again

Shows I Enjoy
Spicks and Specks; Top Gear; Dr Who; Torchwood

Places I Have Been on Holiday
Broome; Darwin; Japan; Cook Islands; Canada; Italy; Vanuatu

Favorite Foods
Pad Thai; fried kwa cheo; Prawns; lasagne; rare steak

Websites I Visit Daily
Google reader – to check up on my friends; theage.com.au; abc.net.au

Body Parts I Have Injured
Ankle; Hip

Awards I’ve Won
Humanities Dux at high school…I guess I peaked at 18……

Nicknames You’ve Been Called
Punk; Podge; Muscles; personal Spousal Unit nicknames that would make you sick so I will give them a miss

Pick 5 Other Bloggers
Wes; Lisa; Dante; Morsey; Jeanne

I'll just go and eat half a bag of marshmallows now so I will feel a bit ill. Hang on, already done that. Hmmph.
More anon, grumblers!

The Plan

You are all DARLINGS. Thank you all so much (((((HUGS)))))
Now, what you've all been waiting for - the plan! The plan is this:

I'll swim, lay off the vino a bit, do my physio exercises and 10 minutes of core/upper body work every day, and work on my thesis, and in four weeks I will be well on my way out of this depressing mess. I WILL.

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.........

The lifeguards undoubtedly think I'm a complete nong when I jump in and splash around doing somersaults and playing in the bubbles. AND I DON'T CARE.

You can hear Noddie from our room if she opens her window when she's having her 'quiet time' (hahahahaha). I don't know whether she was yelling 'Arr harr, me hearties!' at the dog or the neigbours.

The crying game

Roughly this time yesterday I sat in the car park outside the surgeon's rooms and cried. The cast was off and the surgeon was happy because everything was 'normal" and 'progressing well'. This? Normal? This scaly, wrinkled, scarred, swollen, painful thing, that wouldn't bend? Another week on 'crunches' - progressing well? Another week feeling like crap because I have to ask people at work to carry my tea. Another week without my car (stupid sports clutch). And another week that I can't push Noddie on the swing at the park, when I promised her I'd take her today.
I drove around aimlessly for a little while, bought some petrol, thought about what I'd have for lunch (at 10am). Putting things off. Finally I pulled into the swimming pool car park. I didn't want to go in. I'd been keeping myself bouyant through the whole time in the cast by imagining this day as triumphant, strong, back-to-normal. Now my folly had risen up and slapped me and I was crushed.
But I went inside, on my crutches.
And I took my horrid scar and revolting scaly leg to the edge.
And I jumped in.

the most beautiful feeling in the world

Mmmmmmmmmmmhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
It was magic. Magic, I tell you. Mmmmmmmm......

Then I swam 5 x 100m - that's all - and nearly puked. It's going to be a long road back. :(

After the best standing up, no fuss shower ever, I hobbled painfully back to the car and cried again. The Spousal Unit copped it big time when he rang to see how I was, poor treasure - but I did tell him that I knew these feelings of sadness and disappointment and shame were temporary and would pass if I gave myself some time to process them. Not fun, but true.
Later in the day my physio took a look at the mess and described it as 'beautiful' - what is it with these medical people? Swimming is excellent for flexibility so I can do that. Lots of exercises and stretches. I can do that. He wants me on crutches for a week, gradually increasing weight bearing, to make sure I develop a properly balanced gait and not a limp. I can do that. Not all the time, either, just when I'm not at home. I can do that. Back to see him next week to see how I'm going on our 12-weeks-til-running plan.
Guess what I did when I got back to the car? (*hint - more hankies in the wash). And I talked myself down from a large block of turkish delight to a can of diet lemon squash. Woo f#$%ing hoo.

I took Noddie to the park and pushed her on the swing.
Then we all went out to dinner to celebrate and had a lovely time.

This morning my swim was a bit better. The bruising is down and my skin is presentable, thanks to sorbolene and my loofah.

Now, comrades - onward!

Planet Hoppity - FINAL REPORT

NOTE: This post contains gratuitous smileys.

LEVEL OF SUCKAGE - High.
Not "Very high" or "Extreme" - I have a loving supportive family, a nice, warm house and a tolerant boss. Most importantly, this is temporary. It's just been a BIG pain

HOW OVER THE WHOLE F#$%ING THING I AM - Indescribably

HIGHLIGHTS
I was going to say NONE, but this little ‘crisis’ has really brought the Spousal Unit and me closer together. He has been tremendously supportive and I am so grateful and proud of the way he has stepped up. Don't worry, I've told him so! In a strange kind of way I've enjoyed not having any goals or expectations of myself for a while. A low-pressure, no-plan environment seemed the best way to get through this. And J has awarded me 9 out of 10 for how I’ve dealt with this whole tiresome affair LOL.

LOWLIGHTS
-Getting stuck at the top of an escalator at the station with Noddie halfway down crying hysterically because she'd left Mummy behind.
-Pain
-Leaking garbage bag (= wet (= cold) foot for two days)
-Finding it so easy to live a ‘nothing’ life – is there something wrong with me that I can drift along in limbo for two months without really caring?

LOOKING FORWARD TO
-Being in a pool (mmmmmmmmmmmm……floating...….)
-Not keeping my mind carefully blank about the future
-Not having to ask people to get me a cuppa
-Carrying things
-Pushing Noddie on the swing at the park
-Stepping on to an escalator without thinking about it
-Driving my own zippy little manual car instead of the clunky auto station wagon
-Not having to organise 2 garbage bags sticky tape and scissors to have a shower.
-Dancingyes, this is how I dance. Suck it up.
-Getting in and out of a car easily
-Two warm feet
-Not having stiff shoulders and tired hands every morning
-Wearing necklaces and low-cut tops (trust me, these are not the go when on crutches)
-Using my nice work bag not a shopping carry bag
-Wearing two shoes and matching socks
-Not having to think about the practicalities of every bloody thing all the time

NOT THINKING ABOUT
-Walking any distance
-Running
-Riding my bike
-Wearing my gorgeous heels
-Racing. Mother’s Day 2008 is looking good
But guess what? I just entered the three of us in the Father’s Day 5km walk on Sept 2nd. We all need some bling! Two more sleeps and I'm out of here.

More anon, Rip Van Winkles!

Oh, the plans I have made!

Five sleeps to go until I leave planet hoppity! *does happy hop*
You should just see the lovely lovely chart I've put together to kickstart my return to mobility. Oooooh it gives me tingles, so many gorgeous columns for every day and targets and achieved and weekly weight; so many sexy rows for exercise and water (yes) and after-work binges and takeaway (no). I am absolutely tingling all over at the thought of crossing off all those dear little boxes with my red texta.

No, really.
Don't make that face. You knew I was odd.

that's just silly

*crackling radio noise*...sports commentators fade in.....
aaaaand in a verrrry disappointing loss of form after a solid and consistent first half, LBTEPA has dropped the ball, yes, dropped it and it's rolled right away into the corner. This is inexplicable, she doesn't even seem to be looking for it, she's just wandering around gloomily with a complete lack of focus, what a disappointment for this capacity crowd.....oh this is such a shame Phil, she's cracked like a walnut in this tough stage.....

But wait! In yet another astonishing reversal of form, LBTEPA has found the ball and picked it up - she has turned the corner, lifted her game and is back in town! In the greatest comeback since Lazarus she's come out snarling, taken a good hard look at herself, and had a red hot go! She's got back to basics, dug deep, and is just happy to get the four points*. She's moving with purpose, and the cheerfulness we have come to expect! Well Michael it just goes to show a slump isn't a life sentence. Go LBTEPA go!

and the crowd goes wild!

More anon, barrackers!
*Let's see how many Coodabeen Champions footy cliches I can work into this.

Unusual fauna sightings

My living room, 6.10pm Friday night.
We were watching The Tour, as you do (surely you do? But there's an angry and devious peleton! What's not to love?) as it zoomed across the windswept Camargue, when Noddie called out excitedly.
Look Mummy, lots of emus! Lots of pink emus!*

More anon, ornithologists!
*Now she thinks 'flamingo' is the funniest word ever

Missed it

My very first post was on Monday July 17th 2006. Happy New Year!

* sorry about deleting the last post. I decided it was both too personal AND too boring

J and the giant killer

WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS THE WORD PHLEGM. NOT MINE, BUT DISGUSTING NONETHELESS.

Sit down before you read this - but my poor Spousal Unit has actually taken himself TO THE DOCTOR because he feels TOO SICK TO GO TO WORK.
I know, I know.....I'm as astounded as you are.
He rang me earlier to tell me he has bronchitis and a chest infection and has to take super-mega-antibiotics and stay home from work (under the lovely soft fuzzy new blanket mmmm) for two days.
Oh, how I laughed. In hurt tones he enquired, why do you titter so? (yes we do talk like that, shut up). I replied, well....

I really wish that I ever ever said "I told you so" ('cause I never ever do*) because I've been saying for ten days that green phlegm (I warned you) and a cough and a temperature mean you're SICK and you should go to the DOCTOR, so IF I ever said "I told you so" then this would be the perfect time, but I don't*, so I'm laughing at you instead.

And he laughed too. Poor lambie.

I am fine, thanks for asking (touching wood and chugging vitamin C). Noddie has the sniffles but I saw on Dr Phil (I said shut UP) that they're meant to have 8-10 colds a year (???) so she's underachieving badly and this is a chance for her to catch up. All ill-effects from the baked-potato incident have passed and I'm enjoying being back at work, which surprises me. I have composed a rude letter to the Glad garbage bag company pointing out that their product is supposed to be WATERPROOF, or is it just me who thought that? I'll be double bagging my foot from now on. Oh, the thrills, eh?

More anon, adventurers!

*This IS true. I think "I told you so" is a very unhelpful and sometimes destructive remark. I make heroic efforts to ensure that it never passes my lips despite, as you have observed, considerable provocation.

Would you like food poisoning with that?

Next time we have lunch at a shopping centre food court I will embrace the greasy and the sauce-covered and eschew the madly healthy baked potatoes with tabouli and POISON mushrooms.
Urrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh.
Back to bed now.

Smile smile smile

I had SUCH a good time at the Melbourne Coolrunning midwinter drinks on Friday night! They are the nicest, friendliest, funniest, most encouraging bunch of intimidatingly fit, fast and lean overachievers with whom it has ever been my pleasure to quaff numerous sherbets. Reports of my dancing on the table are exaggerated. I was particularly pleased to meet the lovely Morsey at last *waves*. She ran a 10km PB this morning so get over there and swamp her with comment love :)
In other news, do pop over to Duane's blog and congratulate his daughter Kelly on her first triathlon. Go Kelly go! Duane inspires so many people and I am sure he is bursting with pride at Kelly's effort.

Tomorrow I go back to work, eek!

Half way

Can it have been three weeks already?
Too right it can.
Three more weeks until the cast is OFF!
And what have I done in these three weeks? Sweet bugger all, that's what. I.AM.FED.UP.WITH.MYSELF.

Wait a minute, hang on.....

While I was debating whether to enable comments on this post, aka whether I would pathetically beg for sympathy and encouragement, I flicked over to G00gle Reader (have you set one up yet? Maaaaaate, how convenient is it? I waste so much less time flicking through blogs wondering if certain people have posted YET - this means YOU Sparkdriver, don't you DARE close down your blog!)
and Iron Wil had written yet another inspiring and thought-provoking post.
She wrote about how being mean to yourself because you haven't measured up to whatever standards you were aiming for, for whatever reason, makes you feel as bad and confused as when you were a kid and other kids were cruel to you and you didn't know why.
SO. TRUE.
I emailed back to her that I think people with very high expectations of themselves actually need to learn how to be friends to themselves (some lucky buggers may be able to do it naturally, I hate them LOL), and to remind themselves to stay on the KIND side of the "I'm doing my best and that's ok" vs "try harder and stop making excuses" divide.
Lately more than ever, I fall on the latter side. It's a constant tightrope of questioning - am I doing my best under the circumstances, or am I being lazy and slack? I wonder why it's easier to call myself mean names than to admit I'm not superwoman?
I'm not lazy. I do waste shameful amounts of time on the internet. I'm stuck on my thesis and scared of what will happen. I'm disappointed my spring and summer will be spent rehabbing and base-building instead of racing. My job is nebulous, unsupervised and unsupported. I'm 7kg heavier than I'd like to be. These things don't make me lazy or stupid or bad. They just are. Being mean and angry to myself about them isn't helping.
Nor is the wine-and-chocolate cure, alas! Although I'm more than willing to keep working on it :) Never say die, that's me!

I used to have a rule that I'd never say things to myself that I wouldn't accept from another person. I should go back to that, no? But.... if I stop trying to bully myself into action and start being kind to myself, I'll have to feel the fear, the shame, the sadness, and the helplessness ....bugger, eh? Oh well, friends help each other through these things. I will be a good friend to myself. I might as well, I'm stuck with me!

My other problem is I hang around with too many of you indomitable never-say-die types LOL. Never change, I can't do without you!

More anon, philosophers

This post bears no resemblance whatsoever to the one I was planning, but writing it has made me feel a lot better

Another thrilling installment

Mum and I went a bit mental last winter in the feathers yarn section of Spotlight and this is what happened.

As always, I took the "why make it small and tasteful when you can make it BIG and LAIRY?" approach. But mmmmm it's so cosy....

In other riveting news, I discovered that my thumb drive is washable!
Yes, this immobility thing is getting a bit old....
So why do I seem utterly incapable of getting to grips with my thesis?
Sigh....

Lame humour

Hahahahaha, lame, geddit? Oh I am just so funny......
Just remember next time you say, I could do that standing on one leg, you're probably right.
Unless it's emptying a large vase of flowers or getting washing off the line.
Today I am taking Noddie on our Saturday Train Adventure to the city. By myself. On one leg.
Huge thanks to the friend who blithely changed her pre-surgery promise of spending today helping me with my tearaway 3 year old (J is working) to coming over at 5.30pm with her boyfriend to cook us dinner. NOT!
But Noddie and I Will. Have. A. Good. Day.

The dining area at Southern Cross Station overlooks the tracks! What's not to enjoy?
*LATE EDIT* Noddie and I had a super outing. My Bulldogs and J's Magpies got up in thrillers. Friend and BF came over, cooked a delicious meal and we all had a lovely evening talking and laughing. Sickening, aren't we?

A happy day

I had a very happy day yesterday. I've been thinking whether to write about this but it was so important that I want to remember it. It's a bit more personal than usual so feel free to tootle off and come back when normal programming resumes later this week.
The Spousal Unit (hereafter referred to as TSU as he features heavily in this story) and I had A Talk. About a Serious Issue (SI) in our marriage. It's not really important what the issue was. I defy any Aussies reading to not hear Kath from Kath and Kim when they see the word "Issue". Mwahahah.
But the thing is, yesterday I felt as though TSU was really listening to me, and he didn't feel as though I was having a go at him. This probably happens 100% of the time for you clever-pants blissful-union types. TSU and I have to learn everything the hard way.
A few months ago I felt that, although we were trying as best we could, we were approaching a bit of a crisis. The SI was slowly starting to poison things. We weren't really unhappy, but we weren't as happy as I thought we could and should be. Even worse, we had a couple of massive blues which were so hurtful that I started to question whether TSU was who I thought he was. I was starting to get really worried about things. I'd tried and tried to explain my point of view but TSU didn't seem to want to, or know how to listen. I felt lonely and unsupported and I didn't know what to do. Then after one particularly horrid row, it struck me that he might be feeling the same way I was. Maybe he was being mean and defensive because, despite all my efforts to the contrary, he felt unsupported and lonely too?
I didn't want to think this. I wanted to stop trying and thinking and being generous. But not really. I really wanted Team LBTEPA* to be a team again.
What to do? What to do?
Not meaning to sound all Dr Phil here - what the heck, let's go there, shall we? I had to suck it up and see what I'd done to help create this situation. Recognise it, take it on board then try and change it.
So I wrote TSU a poem about how I was sorry I'd taken the easy road of seeing the bad instead of seeking the good. Stuff about how it was harder to make someone feel as though you have her back no matter what the situation, harder to let someone know that his wellbeing is the most important thing to you, harder to let someone know you're always on her side - and that from now on I would do the hard thing rather than the easy one. And I superimposed it over a nice sepia photo of us and hung it up in our bedroom (on his side of the bed LOL).
TSU isn't a 'talking about the relationship' bloke, but he did mention how the poem made him feel happier about things. Since then I've made a point of talking about Team LBTEPA more and reinforcing how happy I am to be in it with him.
I think my being incapacitated has helped too as TSU has had to man up, organise things and manage Noddie in a way he's never had to before. He's learning on his feet and doing a sterling job, BTW. Like anyone, he loves feeling competent and important and needed. Maybe he didn't get to feel like that enough before.
Which leads us to last night and The Talk. We both felt safe, comfortable and as though we were approaching a shared issue from the same side. And suddenly the SI wasn't so bad.
As I said, you blissful types might say, well duh! But we had to learn our own selves that if you don't focus on what's important it can start to slip away. And if your hearts are open you can get it back.
It's a happy day.

(from our fridge)

More anon, troupers!

*Team LBTEPA came into being when we toured Italy in 2002. We had our own little cheer and handshake, to be used when things were especially hairy (eg lost in the outskirts of Modena in the dark) or especially cool (eg upgraded to a suite). Names have been changed to spare your nausea at our mushiness.

Hoppity 101

Things to remember:
Lose 10kg
Do lots of upper-body work
NOTE: do this BEFORE you have to cart your lard around on crunches (as Noddie calls them).
Leave the packing tape in the bathroom (to do up the garbage bag over your cast when you shower).
Put scissors near towel, clothes etc so you can get the bag off after the shower.
You can bite through packing tape if you have to.
Don't try and do anything in the dark. There WILL be something to trip over.
The Naked Gun movies are hilarious.
Watching more than one at a time makes your brain hurt.
Don't pack away your bling - leave it hanging up where you can see it to remind you that being an athlete is a state of mind, not just activity.
Have a book at each sitting-down spot (kitchen, loo, couch, bed) so you don't have to cart them around.
A ham, cheese and tomato sandwich and a cuppa takes six trips to the fridge.
There's no hurry.
Having Noddie away at Nanny's for a sleepover and J away working on our rental house was lovely and peaceful.
I'm so glad they're back.