Race report: Bairnsdale Olympic distance

WARNING: THIS POST IS VERY VERY LONG.
IT CONTAINS MUCH SWEARING.
ALL SONGS ARE TO THE TUNE OF ‘ALLOUETTE’.

Just FYI: Nutrition Plan (all hail the mighty nutrition plan!)
5.30am - Muesli
7.30-8.00 Powerbar
T1 and T2: big slug of Gatorade
Bike: gel every 40 minutes (changed to 30 in 2nd loop to fit in with terrain). Complete bottle of water each loop.
Run: half bag of sports beans at first water station, rest if wanted. Spare gel in pocket.

You know the best way to halve your pre-race nerves? Get up AN HOUR LATER THAN YOU PLANNED! That way you only have half the time to stress out, and have to use some of that to rethink your Nutrition Plan, cause 5.30am muesli is so not going to work at 6.45. After a banana and a piece of raisin toast I sequed smoothly back to the original Plan. Phew! Seriously, I was freaked out. No time for even one cup of tea, nor, well, how can I put this? Let’s just say it was good the portaloo lines were short. Both times. My parents live about 500m from the start so Minerva and I coasted down the hill to transition in the quiet foggy morning. I had a couple of extra things to think about because it was a longer race, with hills: specifically, when to put my gloves on; puncture kit or not; and how to make sure I didn’t forget my T1 drinks. I ended up sticking the drink in my helmet and my gloves in my bento box; I went without the puncture kit because we had flash-o seatpost bike numbers and they didn’t both fit. I had to throw something into the lap of the tri gods and that was it. It was still quite dark and cloudy and I was feeling pretty lonely and – ok, ok, yes – a bit scared, ok, f#$%ing terrified. I sat propped against post to chew my suddenly-a-bit-difficult-to-swallow energy bar and watch for the family coming down the hill - if they made it to the start - I’d bolted out the door so fast to get to transition before it closed that we hadn’t worked anything out. How happy I was to see them! Kisses and cuddles all round were just the thing *beams in recollection*
True confession: before we set off to the start I spoke to the timing blokes and made them promise they wouldn’t pack up before I finished. Sad.
I’ve run the river track to the swim start many times, but it was so strange to be ambling along in my wetsuit and sandals. People were saying how cold the water was so I was pleasantly surprised when I climbed down the rocky embankment and slid in. Being in water always makes me feel peaceful and happy, so by the time it was our turn to go I’d Shut my buzzing neuroses The F#$% Up and was back inside my own head again at last. Whatever happened, I’d done all I could to prepare. It was showtime!
Swimming down a sluggish brown river under a pale sky and calm beautiful trees is on my ‘I hope they have this in heaven’ list.

I just motored along, long and strong, enjoying myself. When the bridge near the finish came in sight I started thinking about transition and what I would do…drink, sunnies, helmet, number, socks, shoes….. drink, sunnies, helmet, number, socks, shoes…..being whacked in the face made me really angry! It probably meant I was out and running faster than normal (not that you’d know)...drink, sunnies, helmet, number, socks, shoes and OFF WE GO!Being a bit familiar with the bike course helped me work out where I should put my gloves on. And don’t say ‘on your hands’, smartarse! Not the highway, not the roundabout, not the gravel. That left the flat bit near the church. Done. It was time to climb.
Huffing and puffing up a long grade like that makes me tired so I kept my breathing as slow and even as I could. *Sings: Just relax now, just relax now, just relax now, that’s a good girl. Again it was good I knew the course because it’s a bit deceitful. There are three shorter get-thee-into-bottom-gear-and-grind inclines after the first long straight one, but because I was expecting them they pissed me off instead of making me sad. *I’m a legend, I’m a F#$%ing legend, I’m a legend, riding up a hill. Don’t look at the top, just keep going. Don’t wobble, there are cars. Just keep going til the next reflector. Just keep going, that’s the way....
The last corner on the hill is so steep it almost makes you laugh in a ‘you must be f#$%ing joking’ way – it looks as though you’re ‘there’ at the highway turnoff, but then you have to get out of the saddle and attack a nasty little 100m rise before the swooping undulations of the next 8km. *I’m a legend, I’m a F#$%ing legend, I’m a legend, riding up a hill. Tell the marshal I’ll see him in an hour and off we go. I always try and thank race marshals, especially in a race like this where they are out there by themselves for ages waiting for the back-of-the-packers. It was also a gauge of how much I was struggling. If I was getting too stressed or too tired to forget common politeness, then the whole point of the day – to enjoy myself – was lost.
Only the first five elites lapped me which pleased me immensely! The last downhill into town is absolutely brilliant; a pity about the right-hand turn onto a main road at the bottom, oh well. Tip for young players: don’t make your Olympic distance the first time you open and scoff a foil pack of strawberry-banana chemical sludge on the fly. Two weeks ago on my ride to Whittlesea I thought practising gel-eating was a bit of a waste of time, but on race day by crikey I was pleased I had the knack. Zoom zoom zoom through the flash new estate, (thankyou marshal! See you in an hour!), not far to go into town. Only what the race director described as a ‘pinch hill’ and what I described as a ‘bitch pig (or was it pig bitch?) hill’to go. Out of my saddle again? F#$%ing f#%$ers! Whose idea was this? Wave at the Spousal Unit and Noddie and around we go again
No one was more surprised than I that I didn’t have to get off my bike halfway up the second climb and weep bitter tears. It seems the 2.5kg of missing lard and 380km of TITS (Time In The Saddle, you disgusting creatures!) since Christmas has made a difference. Another 20 minutes of sweating, swearing and baring my teeth*I’m a legend, I’m a F#$%ing legend, I’m a legend, riding up a hill. I could see a tiny red figure at the top, waving and cheering. My Mum was up there waiting for me! Thanks Mum! Not long after this the Tall Old Bloke (TOB) passed me for the first time so I knew I was last. I wasn’t, actually – there was another, even older bloke who had mechanical trouble, of whose existence I was unaware. TOB was on a very nice looking bike but it didn’t stop him getting lost twice! He was obviously faster at 68 than I will ever be, but I don’t think it’s too harsh to point out that that obeying the marshals – or even noticing the marshals – is an essential race skill. The pinch/pigbitch #$%^#$% hill came around again, as they do, but I was fired up now and swore at it – stick to what you’re good at, no? – until I was on the flat again. Time to get my gloves off and think about T2.
This was the time I felt worst about being so slow. People were running to the finish line; even faster people were obviously waiting for us to start the run so they could get their stuff. The marshals and officials looked sorry for me. F#$% ‘em. They took my money. They could WAIT. I had checked out the course so I knew ‘that awful hill’ was actually a set of steep stairs - an extra walk break! – so I wasn’t scared, especially since someone had swapped my legs for some that felt strong and co-ordinated. Yay! That morning Noddie had insisted she was going to run with me to 'help me' (now everyone say ‘awwwwww’). As I passed her I could see that the Spousal Unit had tried to get her to run with me, towards him, but that she didn’t quite understand and was just standing still. This whole day was about all of us, not just me, so I went back and got her. Even now I get blinky thinking about her little face lighting up as she took my hand and we ran together to Daddy for sweaty kisses and hugs. Off up the road I went. I’m a legend, I’m a F#$%ing legend, I’m a legend, running up the hill. Nine minutes run, one minute walk. Whose legs were these? I hoped they’d let me keep them. It was getting a bit warm as TOB caught up to me (again) just as we reached the stairs. He was a lot more cheerful about getting repeatedly lost than I would have been! On we trotted. I’m a legend, I’m a F#$%ing legend, I’m a legend, running all the way. We were both a bit upset to find that the water stations were not every 2km as we had been led to believe. It might not have made much difference to the fast people but when you’re still running at noon there’s a big difference between water at 2,4,6 and 8km and 2,5,8 and 9! It seemed to affect TOB more than it did me, probably thanks to the two whole bottles on the bike. Thankyou Nutrition Plan! All hail the mighty Nutrition Plan! Where’s our water, where’s our f#$%ing water, where’s our water, you f#$%ing p#$%s? I tried not to sing that too often because I was mostly in a pretty good mood, running my intervals and singing to myself about what a legend I was. 5km to go! I can do 5km at 5am with a hangover! I am so finishing this bastard, yes I am! The run course was very pretty and mostly along trails, such a treat for my footpath-hammered feet. By the end of the shadeless stretch along the river bank, though, I was pretty angry watching poor TOB up ahead of me trying to run a bit and then having to walk. Especially since there had been a drink station set up at the swim start, which they’d obviously packed up. Where’s our water, where’s our f#$%ing water, where's our water you f#$%ing p#$%s? The last 2km of the run would have broken my heart if I hadn't been expecting it. They ran us past the finish line and up the steep-as-the-stairs track to the road past my parents’ house, then around the block to the finish. Transition was mostly empty and TOB had stopped at the 8km drink station and seemed to have given up (although he did finish) but I was really focused doing all my darling family proud by finishing strongly. When a man at the 9km drink station commented that I was ‘doing it hard’ I snapped, no, mate, I’m doing it slow, and I kept running. Past the cow paddocks, up the nowhere-as-big-as-the-hill-near-my-house-that-I’ve-run-up- three-times-a-week-for-the-last-month, over the top – hi Mum! Thanks for running with me! It really did help! You ROCK! - around the corner and down the hill to the chute and I was finished. All I had to do then was walk back up the hill again (nooooo!), eat fish and chips (my wonderful Sherpas' richly-deserved favourite lunch) , and smile at how blessed I am.I'm still smiling.

NOTE: When I emailed the RD about the water he acknowledged that they had stuffed up and was very apologetic.

Through the wall*

167 232 LBTEPA Olympic F 40-44 3 S 25:52 T1 02:16.7 B 1:49:33.2 T2 02:09.6 R 1:18:33.4 3:38:25.7

Somehow I must always remember how good this feels.There’s a permanent FIGJAM grin on my face and I feel lighter than air – I did it!
I did all the work – day after day I went through that too-busy too-tired wall that was really called your dreams aren’t worth chasing after. I did all the planning and scheduling and fitting-in-with-the-family and one-less-piece-of-pizza. I gave the finger to the fear and the shame of being too fat and too slow and the you don’t belong here, everyone will laugh at you thoughts. After sitting through the carbo dinner with all those 43 minute-10km single-digit body-fat triathlon machines I wanted to cry, but I went home and packed my race bag and checked my elastic laces and made sure everything was ready. Next morning I went down and set up my stuff and I really wanted to run away, but I walked to the start through that wall of body image issues THAT WERE ALL IN MY HEAD and I started to swim. And I NAILED my nutrition plan - all hail the mighty Nutrition Plan! -and I kept on going and going and going until it was time to stop. Just the way I'd imagined.

I did it.
I did it.
Unbelievable.

*grin*

More anon, comrades. Race report on its way.
*I know my good friend Iron Wil won't mind me pinching her tagline.

F.U.S.

I don't know, turn my back for a second and everything goes to wrack and ruin - Cheerful LBTEPA here, back to take over from that tiresome Sooky La-la LBTEPA. Many, many thanks for your encouraging words to her. She has been sent out the back with a can of HTFU and a spoon.
F.U.S. does not stand for F#$% U, Spousal unit (although it could, given that we have just had a fearful blue - loyalty prevents me from divulging the details; we have sorted it out now).
It stands for my plan for this weekend's triathlon:

Finish,
Upright and
Smiling.

One of my Best Plans Ever, I think! There's a much longer post about why I am doing this and how I talked myself out of talking myself out of it during my run this morning - OMG how good do your legs feel at the end of tapering? Why wasn't I told? - swirling around in my head, but I must continue flinging random articles into bags so I can pick Noddie up and head east before the long weekend traffic goes nuts. I do have a list, but when I tipped everything out of the too-small bag into the far-too-large bag I found seven tee-shirts. Tizzy, anyone?

More anon, lovelies :)

Not scared of the bike leg any more

...because I've just looked carefully at the RUN course of my first Olympic triathlon this Sunday. I have one thing to say about this:
F#$%F#$%F#$%F#$%F#$%F#$%F#$%F#$%F#$%F#$%F#$%F#$%!
That'll teach me to read the course description rather than expanding the blurry aerial photo map 250% and studying it with a magnifying glass. Ignoring the word 'challenging' was clearly another crucial error. Mum's startled 'Oh! I didn't realise you were going up that awful hill!' (she lives nearby) didn't help either. And it's going to be hot.
Excuse me while I go and process some blind hyperventilating terror for a couple of hours.
F#$%F#$%F#$%F#$%F#$%F#$%F#$%F#$%F#$%F#$%F#$%F#$%
Fear not, Wes and Benson - positive thinking and problem-solving strategies are scheduled for later this evening. Just have to sweat with fear and whack myself with the What. Were. You. Thinking? bat for a while.
And I was just starting to feel a bit rested and a tiny bit confident....
F#$%F#$%F#$%F#$%F#$%F#$%F#$%F#$%F#$%F#$%F#$%F#$%!

More anon, quiverers!

Acronyms R Us

My friends, my dear friends...comrades, pals, companions in life's vicissitudes...
I have a confession to make. I have been lying to you.
You have had race reports and smiling photos and funny freak-outs and peptalks to others, but underneath all that, I'm feeling lost. Life seems a bit disconnected and directionless, and as though things are spinning around and around me and flying away faster than I can catch them.
I just gave the biggest sigh as I wrote that. Putting it down has made me feel a bit better.
It doesn't make sense to feel like that - I'm training hard and regularly, eating (fairly) well and maintaining my detente with the Demon Drink. Pretty tired from 5.15am starts, but all set to taper for the Olympic Tri next week !!!!(excuse me for a moment while I FREAK OUT!!!!) and then get started on my big mid-year project. Physically I feel strong, although sleep deprived thanks to that matricidal spawn of satan, I mean poor Noddie, sleeping very badly (= Mummy up at least twice every night) for the last week. Noddie and the Spousal Unit are their lovely selves; work is as ok as it ever is. I don't know what's wrong. I could be a stranded alien, or a pod-person who's just realised it, or I could be irritable because we haven't really settled into a routine this year....or I could just be naturally cranky. I don't really care. In keeping with my devoutly-held belief that if you have a plan you can change it, while no plan = you keep drifting, The Plan Is This:
The Chart Is Back!
Don't pout like that and say is that the best you can do? This is my mini-crisis! It's all about me here!
Last year my charts reminded me to do what I wanted to do in the midst of what I had to do. I let them go during the thesis-finish craziness and the lovely summer holidays because there are times when structure and goals aren't the be-all and end-all (claps hand to mouth - did I just say that?).
That time is OVER. This year my chart will remind me that I don't have to feel aimless.
Headings include the usual - Training, Stretching/Core, Friends - but also two new ones, EWD and DWD - Eat Wisely Day and Drink Wisely Day. The number of nights I've gone to bed and sighed sadly, that was stupid, better try harder tomorrow is creeping up, and I don't need any extra ammunition to criticise myself, I can assure you. Wise is a flexible word - sometimes it's wise to eat tuna salad and drink water, sometimes pizza and red wine are the thing. It's a non-judgemental word too, which suits the mood I'm in.
Hey ho and away we go, eh? Bring on the red pen and some boxes to cross off.

More anon, sages!

Race report - Big Bay Swim

Shock announcement: LBTEPA secretly relieved swim course changed for safety reasons!
In a stunning develoment, sources close to our heroine reveal she was secretly very relieved that the 3.5km open water course was changed to a far more sheltered 2.5km course following predictions of high winds including 30 knot gusts. It's not that I couldn't do it, LBTEPa told close friends, it's that I have to run tomorrow and I really don't need an epic tough-it-out-a-thon just at this point.
Even so, our heroine spent the morning leading up to the event murmuring to herself I do this for fun you know, over and over again, in the vain hope it would sink in and her stomach would stop churning. An unfamiliar starting point, confounded by 100000000000 Summer Cycle participants blocking the roads, added to her nerves, as did the crowd of lean mean aquatic machines milling about talking airily of the Bloody Big Swim, Busselton, etc etc. The wind-whipped trees and whitecaps on the channel added atmosphere, but not in a good way. LBTEPA would like to point out that this photo is in no way a true representation of the grey, gritty, chilly conditions (do you like her new haircut? She's undecided. It will grow out). Swimmers teetered down the boat ramp into the warm(ish, well, not icy) murky bay and trod water as they listened to yet another safety briefing. Observers reported LBTEPA as smiling excitedly, just before having her goggles knocked off (for the first time..grrrr) by other over-enthusiastic competitors. It was difficult to find a place in the field as so many slower swimmers were ahead at the start, and so many stronger swimmers were utterly sighting-impaired, completing a significantly longer distance at a significantly faster pace than the back-'o-the-pack swimmers, yet still impeding the BOPers with their torturous wending.
The middle portion of the event was described by LBTEPA as 'an absolute cow' - swimming with chop at the start of a race is pretty normal, swimming in swell is all right because you can get a kind of rhythm going, but swimming perpendicular to chop is just stupid! Also described as 'stupid' (among other things) by LBTEPA was the utterly pointless biffo from the hardcore (i.e. wetsuit-free) old blokes in the last third of the race. As our intrepid correspondent pointed out, it's not as though they were swimming for sheep stations. Knocking my goggles off achieved....what? These bloody minded old codgers got up our heroine's nose for a while until she realised the swim would be finished soon so she'd better just bloody well enjoy the crap out of it while she still had the chance (apologies for LBTEPA's tiredness Tourette's. We will smack her hand). Blue(ish) skies, open water - a treat, and a blessing to have the opportunity. It could well have been ok to have swum the originally-planned course. However, as LBTEPA said after the race, if it had been as bad as forecast the swimmers would have been all right, but we also need to consider the life guards who provide such sterling safety support to the event. It wasn't the full-on adventurous swim we'd all looked forward to, she said, but these things happen. LBTEPA would like to thank her parents for carting her around to ocean swims throughout her teens so that this was a challenging-but-normal rather than are-you-out-of-your-mind-you-lunatic? Sunday morning activity, the ever-spunky Spousal Unit and the sadly very off-colour Noddie (the reason for LBTEPA's solo appearance this a.m.), and her supportive fans.

More anon, conquerers of the waves!
LBTEPA (now sleeping heavily) would like to assure readers that no jellyfish were harmed, or even sighted (yay!) during the making of this feature.

FREAK OUT! And fake it until the champagne arrives

16 days until the Bairnsdale tri. Swim 1500, ride 40km UP ENORMOUS HILLS, run 10km Medic! Oxygen here, stat! LBTEPA appears to have fainted! Minus 5 days for taper…that’s 11 days to get trained and get planned and get ready and I’m doing the Port Melbourne-Williamstown swim on Sunday, so there’s a long ride day sacrificed for chop and swell and jellyfish and 19 f#$%ing degrees and rain!! What was I thinking? What am I thinking? I’m FREAKING OUT, that’s what! Aaaaahhhh! ...breathes in…breathes out…. Must. Make. Lists….. lists will save me! Oh, and denial. Olympic distance? What Olympic distance?

This is a bit of a heard-it-all-before half-arsed self-help-book rant, and I'm sorry about that, but it's been rattling around in my noggin for a few days now; it seemed important to let it out. When I showed my friend S the podium photo from Elwood last weekend, her comment really stuck in my mind.

Geez, if you’re the big girls, the others must be tiny! There’s nothing wrong with you three!

This is true. There is nothing wrong with the shape of my body. And I know it. I want to lose some weight, certainly, but not because my current weight is 'wrong' - it is what it is. It’s taken a long time, but I do know it. My friend M (about my height, a fair bit more slender) doesn’t. It made me so sad when she watched the 20-25 year olds on the podium and said Look at them. They can’t weigh more than 45 kilos. Her boyfriend G commented mildly that if she weighed 45kg we’d have to take her to hospital, but she didn’t smile.
Hey you! Yes you! You know who you are - making yourself miserable comparing yourself to other people. Faster people, lighter people, younger people. Stop it! Or at least, decide to do it less today than you did yesterday. You are perfectly fine the way you are!
No I’m not, you reply, I eat/drink/do/don’t……
Yes. You. Are. You’re living your best life, with what you have, where you are (mangling one of my favourite quotes, thanks Eleanor).
Listen to what you say to yourself. Would you take it from anyone else? Would you let someone say it to your child? I must say having Noddie has helped me with smacking down my self-critical voice - I am always extremely careful never to comment negatively on my - or anyone's - weight or appearance in her presence.
Suprisingly, though, saying those I wish I wasn’t so hideously ugly and badly dressed and socially inept and boring so I could have some friends things out loud to J before I go out actually removes their power somehow*. Out in the light they are revealed for what they are – old voices from forever ago, and sad bleating for reassurance. Sometimes they’re PMS talking, but I can recognise those sneaky bastards now and smack them down too. I don't have to listen to them any more. I can reassure my own self now. I’m strong and brave and I can hold my head up anywhere - or at least fake it until the champagne arrives!
The magnificent Nancy linked to this – I think we should all sign it, or make one of our own.

Must go and FREAK OUT again now! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! Sixteen, I mean eleven days!!!

More anon, biters-off of more than you can chew!
*He usually just looks faintly surprised and says Oh.

I don't want to miss a thing

I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
While you’re far away dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure

Don't want to close my eyes, I don't want to fall asleep
Cause I'd miss you baby and I don't want to miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you, the sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you baby and I don't want to miss a thing

Lying close to you feeling your heart beating
And I'm wondering what you're dreaming
Wondering if it's me you're seeing
Then I kiss your eyes
And thank God we're together
I just want to stay with you in this moment forever
Forever and ever

Don't want to close my eyes, I don't want to fall asleep
Cause I'd miss you baby and I don't want to miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you, the sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you baby and I don't want to miss a thing

I dont want to miss one smile, I don't want to miss one kiss
I just want to be with you, right here with you, just like this
I just want to hold you close, feel your heart so close to mine
And just stay here in this moment for all the rest of time

Don't want to close my eyes, I don't want to fall asleep
Cause I'd miss you baby and I don't want to miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you, the sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you baby and I don't want to miss a thing ....

It's always been our song.
Happy anniversary sweetheart. Eight down, sixty-two to go!

Race Report - Gatorade Elwood

RACE: Gatorade Race 5 Elwood
DISTANCE: 600/20/6
TIME: 1.42.44
RATING: EXTREMELY PLEASED
What to say, what to say? I used The List* for all my packing and planning the night before, I had everything I needed for my nutrition plan and executed it perfectly so I felt strong and confident all the way. After a fast swim (apart from the jelly fish sting to the face! Bastard!) and a pretty good bike leg – I could see my friend M only a km behind so I was riding scared, I can tell you - my run was a surprise. It wasn't too hot - starting in the fourth wave has its advantages after all - and I was singing the Playschool song that my mantra (strong and smooth and run run run) comes from and pretty much in my happy(ish) place most of the way. I stuck to my 9:1 run:walk intervals - and every single walk break a lean mean tri machine zooming past reached out and patted me on the shoulder with encouraging words. It was so lovely to be reminded that most triathletes are supportive and helpful. Strangely I had no urge to justify or explain myself to them. Maybe I’m getting all well adjusted? There was nothing left in the tank for a sprint at the end but I managed to do a raised-arm Wes-esque finish. I still have the most shite T2 in the universe, oh well, but the run was 15s/km faster than Portarlington two weeks ago. Woot!
After I gulped down five cups of water I went to the first aid tent to get some help with my stung face (did you know they don't use vinegar now? Just warm water) and to look for M because we couldn't find her and she hadn't been feeling well. My hands started to shake and shake and I had to sit down but I soon felt better.
The winning Athena – henceforth known as Carbon Fibre Chick as her bike was fully sick featherlight carbon, Zipp wheels and everything (now everybody say ‘oooooooooooh!’) – was terrific at the presentations. As usual they didn’t present the Athena category; the announcer was about to wrap things up when CFC grabbed me and the other Athena, marched up to the announcer and demanded we be given our medals, on the podium thankyou very much. They faffed on about the final results not being available etc etc but were powerless in the face of her implacable determination. I got third because the fifth Athena (does that sound like a movie?) was a DNS, but you’ve gotta show up to score as I always say. But that's a different movie altogether
I didn’t tell Noddie and J about my medal because I wanted to surprise them when I got home – and look what they surprised me with!

The newbie didn’t show when she said she would so we didn’t catch up, but she did come down and have a look and we talked on the phone after the race. I hope she felt ok because it’s a massive day and easy to be intimidated by two and a half thousand competitors and all the brawn and toys and smack talk – but there’s enough room for everyone.

More anon, sleepyheads...zzzzzzz....
* Let me know if you want a copy and if you sign a code of secrecy I'll email you one

HVD2U

Happy Valentine's Day for yesterday to you all.
We don't do much Valentine stuff because it falls in between my birthday and our wedding anniversary next week, but we did plan to get Noddie settled early and watch a Fred and Ginger movie. This was scuppered by Noddie announcing that she was going to sleep outside in her tent and would we put it up for her as she'd already built a campfire. Now, while I have every respect for Noddie's capabilities, I confess I was nonplussed by this statement until I was led out to inspect and admire a small pile of leaves.
Who am I to squelch such a spirit of adventure?
So I sat out on the verandah with my book, responding appropriately to the piping calls of my offspring
I'm very brave you know
You don't have to check on me 'cause I'm not scared
Are you still there Mummy?
You don't have to check on me 'cause I'm in my tent with Teddy and we're very brave
etc etc etc
until she declared that it was getting a bit dark and she was going to sleep in her own bed. By then it was too late to start a movie, but we made some nachos and ate some birthday chocolate and declared the evening a success.
It's been a stupid training week. I have not got up early enough often enough, lunchtime swims didn't happen 'cause tiresome people keep ringing me up and emailing me, the nerve.... and after work never works. I don't know why I think it will. J and Noddie would be perfectly fine but it seems mean to just prance in the door and then sail blithely out again when both of them are tired and we haven't seen each other all day. Priorities, you see. I just have to Suck It Up and Get Up, especially since J starts at a new store soon and his shifts will be changing, not in a way that suits me. My friend IronWil has a saying for these times
Get Up. It sucks, then it doesn't
Go and train. It sucks, then it doesn't.
Always.
As usual she is spot on - and she gets up way earlier than I'll have to! I just have to remember that I always feel worse if I don't get up than if I do.
In other news - I lost 1.5 kg and 12 cm in January. Woot.
The fabulous Iron GeekGirl's charming husband SB (is this sounding like a translation exercise?) mentors an online beginner triathlon group. One of the group lives in Melbourne and is planning the last Gatorade tri as her maiden event. SB recalled that I too reside in that great metropolis, and now, thanks to the wonders of the internet, we (the beginner - heck, why not just call her Maree? since that's her name - and I) will be meeting on Sunday morning so she can have a squiz at how a big triathlon works. Meeting in Elwood, with some help from New Mexico! How cool is that?

More anon, true romantics

Sorry

Noddie, tomorrow before kinder we are going to uni to see an important day in history.
What's history, Mummy?
History is when something very important happens that no-one will ever forget. And we'll never forget we saw this day either.
What history is happening tomorrow?
Kevin Rudd is going to apologise to the Aboriginal people. We're going to watch him on a big movie screen with lots of other people.
What's apologise?
He's going to say sorry.
Why is he sorry?
He's sorry because of all the bad things that the Government did to the Aboriginal people in the past.
What bad things?
Just really really bad things that were wrong and shouldn't have happened (you think I'm going to explain the stolen generations to a four year old?
Did Kevin Rudd do the bad things?
No. But you know when we have a fight or something bad happens and everyone says sorry and we all start to feel a bit better and can start to make things better?
Yes....
Well, when Prime Minister Rudd says sorry to the Aboriginal people for all the terrible things that the Government did in the past, we can start to fix things.
Oh. Do I have to be quiet all the time when we're watching the apology?
*Later*
Daddy! Tomorrow we're going to watch Kevin Rudd say sorry so we can all start to fix things! And I'm never going to forget!

There haven't been many times in the last decade when I've felt proud to be Australian. This is a great thing. Today is a great day.

What more could a girl want?

Breakfast in bed, a bike computer, a new sports bag and Shauna's book! Perfect weather, family, friends, and cake. And best of all, those fine blogging women Kathryn and Sara came along and proved to the Spousal Unit that they aren't imaginary!

Pretty

I want a pretty tri top. With flowers or a groovy pattern, in pretty colours like yellow and orange and pink and red. Any good brands you can recommend? Do you know someone with a cool tri top who you can bail up and ask where she got it? The roomier the better, and I don't need an inbuilt bra - my girls are looked after by Enell.
No news from uni about my thesis yet. They are SLACK and I have written to the course co-ordinators. If I don't get some news soon I will forward it to the vice-chancellor. Grrrr.
We'll be flat out this weekend. It's my birthday and I've accidentally asked 25 people for lunch on Sunday.

For you, Jeanne

This is mainly for me – well der, this is My Blog – and for the lovely Jeanne who is doing her first tri soon, and likes to emulate the laudable example set by boy scouts and Be Prepared.

WARNING: LONG. It’s pretty much unedited as well; I just want to get it all down - splat!

GATORADE PORTARLINGTON TRIATHLON
800/26/8 2.23.39
RATING: THRILLED
PRE-RACE
We all had naps on Saturday afternoon after the beach, and I had the worst dream – I slept through the alarm on Sunday morning until 7.30 am- and the race started at 8.30, an hour and three-quarters away! In my dream I frantically tried to work out how I could get there, how I could start…then thankfully woke up, my heart pounding.
I shoulda shoulda shoulda got up and driven to the bike shop to get some sports beans, stupid supermarket not stocking them any more grrrr, but I was too tired/had a CBB attack. As you will see, this bit me on the behind next day.
Next time I am going to write a list, I swear, so much less wearing than cruising through the preparations, wetsuit, check, togs, check, bike shoes, check, etc etc etc, then realising I’d not put my goggles in my bag! Vaseline, check, anti-fog (flash name for smear of dishwashing liquid) check, bike, check! I loved the yellow top I wore last time but being a riding top it chafed so badly under my arms I couldn’t bring myself to wear it again, and wore a running singlet. No pockets, alas, and I could have done with some. I’ll just have to keep hunting for a groovy, pretty tri-top. I didn’t want to wake everyone as I left so I made up a thermos of tea the night before and picked up a couple of pieces of raisin toast at Maccas on the freeway, as that’s what I would have had anyway.
At Portarlington I found a parking spot and scarfed down a breakfast drink. I was alarmed to note the F#$%ing Steep Hill BETWEEN the BEACH (where I assumed the swim would take place) and the ROAD – likely site of ride and run. What was this? My dear “friend” (I use the term loosely) M had assured me that the run course was ‘flat as a tack’. Well my lovelies, she LIED LIKE A RUG. But I get ahead of myself.
Transition was long and thin and I was in ROW 25 (see, I learned from last time) next to M and the other Athenas. One seemed quite friendly, although she was quite expansive in her attitude to scarce Transition real estate (I squeezed in ok). I gave her a cheer on the run and she cut me dead (b*tch!) - but she may have been a) tired b) hot and tired or c) someone else entirely.
SWIM
I’d never been in the same wave as M before so I fell into the pre-race chat trap – and almost missed the start! Sh*t! On with the goggles and off we go! It was so so so flat, and so fun to swim out and around the pier. My strategy was to push it to almost-out-of-breath. Plenty of time to get my heart rate down on the bike…or so I thought….
TIME: 800m 15.59
LESSONS
Write a list
Concentrate on the start!
T1 3.08
Run run run. Sh*t! My wetsuit wouldn’t unzip. I got it off in time, eventually! I’d even practiced at home (!) so I was pretty pleased with how quickly those bike shoes jammed on and I was off…up up up the steep steep hill. Had I left my bike in its lowest gear? You bet your sweet bippy I had! Hill schmill.
BIKE
Things started to come a bit unravelled. I had it in my head that I was first Athena (I wasn’t) so I wanted to make them work to pass me! I kept my cadence high up and down the ‘undulating’ course, but I felt as though I was breathing too hard (cos I don’t have a fancypants heart rate monitor like some people, you know who you are Wes) and couldn’t seem to slow it down. Because I didn’t have the sports beans I’d decided to have one bottle of water and one of Gatorade on the bike, but I hadn’t really worked out how much and how often to drink it. I was quite thirsty and a bit worried about not having enough plain water. I confess to feeling a bit discouraged when the other Athena passed me as though I was tied to a tree. ‘Cause that’s how I ride, no use kidding myself. I don’t know if the organisers had a shorter time-limit than normal, but they started the waves in a funny order – elites first, then all the old/slow/fat types, then everyone else. So all day after the swim it was fwoom fwoom fwoom (being passed on the ride) and patter patter patter (passed on the run). I remembered these wise words from the lovely Mary Sunshine
MY EDGE IS MY EDGE.
NOT ANYONE ELSE'S.
IT'S MINE.
For others, my edge may be merely a warmup pace but to me it is MY EDGE--MY BEST--MY CHALLENGE.
so I now actually enjoy watching people pass me in races--I wonder about THEIR edges...but I know that at that moment in time, I'm working MINE.
I repeated those words – my edge is MY edge, and I’m working it - to myself many times during the morning. I didn’t know the course and there were no km markers so I didn’t know how far there was to go, and I didn’t have enough water, and I really started to flag: at one time I kept looking down to see if my brakes were rubbing. They weren’t. I didn’t dare think about the run, my legs were hurting and there seemed a long way to go. Sooky la-la LBTEPA was hovering at my shoulder and I had to keep swatting her away. An angel flashed by just then and said, hey, we’re nearly there! Only 8km to go! She was the first person who’d spoken all day, and I don’t know if it was her encouraging words or what I was sucking down at random out of my drink bottles (see? No plan = Not good!) but I started to feel stronger. All you have to do at this moment is ride your bike, I said to myself, all you have to do is ride your bike. The run is for the run, not now. Just ride your bike. And by and by I was zoooooming back down the steep hill and being shouted at by the dismount officials
TIME 26km 1.05.59 (23.6km/hr - an improvement for me!)
LESSONS
Have a plan about what and when to eat and drink
Study the map so I know roughly how far I’ve travelled
Don’t try and race other people.
Try and stay calm enough to think through things and problem-solve methodically
All you have to do during the bike leg is ride your bike
Riding with aerobars is REALLY FUN.
T2
Run run run. I do not know why I am so slow in T2. I was the fastest in T1, and I’d practiced at home exactly how I would jam my feet into my runners with their swish-o new elastic laces to eliminate all that time-consuming doing-up business. The winning Athena was out in under a minute! She must have flown!
RUN
Straight out of T2 was a set of sand stairs up to the (allegedly flat) run course. I walked up them, and the next 50m or so to the drink stop. I’d been hoping there would be Gatorade at the drink stops (I couldn’t remember) but there wasn’t, so I’d have to bet on having downed enough on the bike to keep me going for the next hour. I stuck to my plan of 9:1 run:walk even though it was tempting to keep going just so that it would be just a little bit longer before the people coming up behind me would pass me. They were going to anyway. My run, no-one else’s. I felt unexpectedly strong once I got started, and I tried to think of a mantra to keep my rhythm going. I came up with “strong and smooth and run run run” (thanks Playschool!). Walk every water station, drink a couple of mouthfuls, tip the rest down my back, strong and smooth and run run run. Morning after morning I’ve practiced hold your form, you can keep this up indefinitely, just relax, so I just slid into those thoughts as the kms clicked over. Often my dear, supportive blog friends popped into my mind. It was nice. Toward the end I was feeling very weary, but ok, looking forward to the next walk minute…and my watch died! That Useless Piece of Unreliable Timex SH*T! Arrrggh!!! Foul-mouthed LBTEPA made a brief but pithy appearance, especially since the last 2km were the ‘undulating’ bit. My “friend” M is dead to me. Her delightful boyfriend G (a speedster triathlete, who later said I must have had a good ride as he'd expected to pass me much earlier!) was walking out to meet her; when he called there's only two more hills til the finish I’d have felled him with a blow but I needed to concentrate. And by and by I was running down the hill and through the chute and I was finished
TIME 56.39 (7.05/km, once again an improvement for me especially since it was 8km)
LESSONS
Practice running up hills!
Staying calm makes everything easier
POST RACE
I cheered M across the line and watched the end of the presentations and then went to get my medal. They tried to tell me the late-finisher results weren’t up yet so they’d post it to me, but it’s amazing how persuasive you can be leaning tiredly and sweatily on a table saying, are you sure? Really? The female 65+ winner was similarly determined, and they couldn’t be rude to an old lady so in the end they caved and coughed up the bling. I wore mine all the way home.

I was expecting 2.35+ so I was really happy with my time. I also learned a lot about racing harder, yet staying within myself. The Olympic distance tri in a month’s time is twice the swim, 14km longer on the bike and 2km longer in the run. This was a good stepping stone.

THE END

*looks around* You still here? Crikey!
More anon, gluttons for punishment!

3rd out of 4 ain't bad

800m swim 15.59. 26k ride 1.06. 8k run 56.41. Overall 2.23.40
The difference between having a pretty good time and an awful time is In Your Mind.
Mucking up your Nutrition Plan isn't The End.
All you need to do when you're riding your bike is ride your bike.
8km is MUCH further than 5km.
If you just keep going, you get there.
Everything is easier with friends by your side - so THANKS.
Race report soon. I'm pretty tired.

More anon, strivers :)

Nuffin

That's what I have for you, my friends.
It's been a bit of an up-and-down week, nothing too fabulous, nothing too dire except the couple of days of upsetting (being frighteningly reminiscent of those dark days of chronic fatigue) bone-deep weariness and joint pain, which, thankfully, seems to be buggering off whence it came, and good riddance. Tiredness? Low iron? That disgusting germ-factory, sorry, my darling Noddie's latest cold, or her nightmares waking her (and Mummy) up every three hours four nights in a row? Going out of my MIND wondering whether my thesis markers will ever emerge, golem-like, from the department's dark maw and release my precious grade? Who knows, but pummelling it with sleep and vitamin C seems to have done the job. Can you overdose on VitC? There's nothing wrong with glowing in the dark anyway.

My dear friend Act-As-If LBTEPA had to step up and run my life for me this week. She was great, Acting As If I was in a good mood, As If I could give a rat's posterior about exercising, and (really punching above her weight here) As If I am the sort of person who generally eats and drinks in moderation. She did well: I don't hate myself for sinking into gloom, sloth and lardiness. Thanks mate!
Tomorrow I have to get up at half-past stupid o'clock and drive down the coast to sunny Portarlington for a triathlon. 'Cos I've paid for it and I said I would. I'll be treating it as a long, looooooooooooong training day now I have my A Race to focus on. Ooooh don't I sound all hardcore and keen? It's a bit longer than I've done before so it will be interesting to see how it goes (aka oh shit, I'm pretty sure this this is gunna hurt, not thinking about it not thinking about it not thinking about it). I'm not sure how the Nutrition Plan will go seeing as I have mucked up a bit of it already (I'll tell you later). I'm racing with my aero bars on my bike for the first time too. Nervous? Moi?Must go and pack the car now so I can have an early night.

We went to the beach today and had great fun with the waterproof case for the camera
More anon, grinners!

No guts, no glory. No, really.

It’s done. It’s on. I’ve finally decided – after weeks and weeks and weeks of whiny-arse cry-baby lala to-ing and fro-ing, from which, you will be pleased to realise, I have uncharacteristically spared you – that I WILL do the Bairnsdale Olympic Distance Triathlon in March. Yes, the Victorian Olympic Distance Championships. Yes, the one with the Bastard Hill (twice).
panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic
This is despite the following email from the race organiser, responding to my bleating about time cutoffs etc
Don't let that worry you - we don't have a cut off time and last year the legendary Bruce Burston (65-70) came in to hundreds of cheers in 3h25m.
Please Note: If I do anything under 3hr50min I will be leaping about with glee.*
I asked a lot of people whether they thought I should do it, given that I will be SMFL (Stone Motherless Last) by half an hour to a sixty-eight year old. The responses fell into two distinct categories – ARE YOU MAD? (the vast majority) and OF COURSE! WHO CARES IF YOU’RE LAST? IT’S ALL ABOUT HAVING A GO! (the crazily gung-ho). I know, I know, how disgustingly two-faced of me when I’ve ranted and raved about it not mattering how fast or slow you are..…but still..…I fear pain. And hills. Did I mention there are hills?
panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic
Once again the Spousal Unit revealed the key to it all. I quizzed him again** this morning as to whether he thought I should do it.
Well, I wouldn’t do it.
Why not?
I wouldn’t like to come last by half an hour. But you should do it.
Why?
You enjoy that sort of thing.
He’s right, you know.
I do enjoy - that's not quite the right word - facing the unknown; grappling with an idea my mind has somehow fixated on and worrying and worrying at it through the whole process of I can't do that, how can I do that?, I can do that! It’s the reason I ran my first half-marathon, just to see what it would be like. It was awful because I was so under-prepared, but also one of the most fun things I’ve ever done. This Olympic Tri will be really hard; it's the longest distance and time of anything I've ever attempted. It will be a window into what I'm really capable of. There's something satisfying about sucking down that little gulp of fear every time I think about it. Sort of.
panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic
I enjoy doing things that take consistent work over time. Things I have to earn. No-one will know if I skive off my long ride – except me when the Bastard Hill kicks my behind. To be honest, I enjoy being able to do things other people can’t - even if they’re things that other people are too bloody sensible to do! Is being a teeny bit smug really such a bad thing? Don't answer that. I like doing things I feel really proud of. Concentrating for a long time interests me. It’s fun (once again I am sure that's not the right word!) to try and work out what might happen and how I can prepare for it. I can feel a Nutrition Plan coming on! What I really enjoy is having stretch goals that make me feel faintly ill to think about. Is that a bit sick?
panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic
Now I have to work out a training plan with A Lot Of Bike – but enough swimming so I don’t drown in the Bay Swim. So difficult! So complicated! Tell me again, why am I doing this?
It’s the Gatorade tri in Portarlington this weekend. There are four Athenas! Not that I would ever say hahaha I TOLD you people would go in it if it was offered, oh no I would never say that no no no no. Have I run 8km in one go this year? Ummm, that would be once. Eek. Oh well.

More anon, Big Dreamers!
panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic
*Insofar as I am able to given that I will probably DIE.
**He's a patient man

For we are young and free

Race Report - Williamstown Australia Day swim
2km - 41.39
Swim rating - pleased*

What a GORGEOUS day. That's Noddie in the foreground; in the background you can see how unbelieeeeeeeeeeeeeeevably flat it was - I've never done a swim before where you could see all the buoys along the line at the same time! The water was clear, the sky was blue and the sun was shining....so there was no reason for my slightly disappointing time, but it was such a joy to be alive out there I'm really not fussed. My sister was good enough to pop along and take on Noddie-wrangling duties, which was lovely - without her I'd not only have been unable to participate, but I'd have had no hope of erecting or dismantling the @#$%ing @#$%er beach tent.When I told J I was going to write this race report his response was, what? Run into water; swim; swim more; swim more; finish? That'll be a short post! Now I can't think of anything else to say! Except for the sighting-impaired bloke who zigzagged back-and-forth in front of me for almost the whole way - I swear, if he learned to sight properly he'd have beaten me by miles. As it was, I eventually managed to get a few body lengths ahead of him, yay! Then because it was full low tide we had to run the last 50m through knee-deep water - or rather, being about eleven feet tall he scampered through it like some irritating giraffe while I waded crossly, so I was easily pipped to the line. Bother! Then it was off home to an afternoon of cricket on TV. Life's good, apart from the unfortunate after-effects of the rather strange choice of post-race refreshment - a curry pie. I think all the 1k swimmers took the plain ones. We live and learn.

I should put a bit in here about how lucky I feel to live in our fortunate nation. I fervently hope that over the next few years we can regain our standing in the world as a humane and honourable country. Australians all, let us rejoice!

More anon, aquamen!

*32 seconds slower than last year, which I rated as "thrilled". Hmmmm.

Grumpy, or no guts, no glory.

I'm grumpy and I've decided to take it out on you. You may have more fun if you come back tomorrow.

*Beginning of rant*
Over the last few weeks several people have told me they probably won't do (an event) because they'll be 'too slow' or will do a 'bad time'. It seems what they're really saying is that they don't want to join in because they don't think they'll be good enough at it.
Maybe these are just excuses to not do things that they don't want to do? In that case, why not say, well actually I don't want to do that because I'm not interested. Why make up fake reasons?
But what I want to know is this - waddya mean, 'good at'? Waddya mean, 'too slow'? Who said Time A is 'better' than Time B? Where did this come from? When did effort slide down the kudos scale?
We must STAMP OUT this thinking. It sucks the pure animal joy out of moving our bodies. It sucks the joy out of our well-earned triumphs and achievements. This kind of thinking makes us smaller than we are. It's a waste.
Accept that as an 'adult onset' athlete you will never be 'up there'. And unless you make your sport a, or even the, highest priority in your life - and if you really want that, then good on you, I will cheer you as you zoom by - and spend a huge amount of time and effort, and manage yourself really really carefully so you don't get injured, you still won't be 'up there' even if you've kept at your sport all your life. Suck it up.
Then go for real glory.
Have the guts to dream big. Accept your real limitations and responsibilities and still live the biggest life you can. What's tickling the back of your mind that you'd do 'if only'? Find a way.
Glorious.
Have the dedication to say, I know what I need to do - even if that means taking waaaay longer than you'd like - and I am prepared to do it (says she, who blew off yet another 5.30am this morning, sigh...).
Or else say, this isn't what I thought it was, it isn't for me , or it isn't the right time for me to do this.
Take heart and pride in the small daily triumphs over heredity and history and inertia and fear.
Glorious.
Glory is being out there out there in the waves and the dark and the wind and the sun. It's crossing that finish line you weren't really sure you would reach. Glory is in going harder than you thought you could and doing stuff you never imagined.
It's saying, well, that didn't go so well, but I did my best and I'm proud of myself. No-one cares what you look like or your time except you. How freeing is that?
Give those 'not good enough' thoughts the finger. Show up. Have a go. HAVE FUN.
See how good it feels?
*End of rant*

In other news:
Two nights ago I went to check on Noddie becuase she was being unnervingly quiet. She'd rearranged her bedroom furniture.

Just write something

It seems the longer I put off writing the harder it gets, so today is "drag self by scruff of neck to the puter and have at it" day! Mojo has been quite low this week in all respects - could it be the return of the Bastard Bacterial Infection and Horse Pills knocking me about? - I dunno, and I also don't know why I always blame my own lack of willpower/discipline/character/any redeeming qualities whatsoever when I sleep a lot (and don't train much) BECAUSE I'M SICK. But as we say here at chez LBTEPA after a Noddie-disciplining episode, that's fimished now. I think the main thing is to refrain from self-flagellation and remind myself that, let's be completely honest, my spot on the team for Beijing isn't at stake is it? Last night I was all fired up to spend forty-five minutes on my bike trainer when Noddie went into the tired/hot/a bit peaky four-year-old Complete Meltdown she'd been threatening all day. As Nancy's husband put it so eloquently, our highest duty is as parents: I hopped off the bike and onto Noddies bed to read her into calmness and sleep. The bike can wait.
So what's been happening? Half-past dark starts haven't been happening, so that means training has had to be sqeezed into the day and hasn't been happening as much as I'd like. It's been hot and Noddie has been tired and very difficult and thus AFDs haven't been happening - yes I am quite aware of my dysfunctional stress responses and I'm working on them *oooh, defensive aren't we?*.Luckily I've been reading in a lot of other blogs (another reason I haven't been writing? hmmm?)that other intrepid souls have been struggling mightily with CBB* syndrome. It's all very well to say 'Look at me! Here are my impressive plans!', but another altogether to commit to doing what it takes to make my dreams come true. I can't do it in that fired-up, all guns blazing way that suits many people. Fever pitch doesn't last. I just have to think - and act - myself into a state of mind where this is what I do. I get up early. I exercise regularly. I increase my workouts in accordance with my actual capabilities and don't get injured. I eat sensibly and drink in moderation.
I wear cool shoes- yes, I have jumped ship from asics to adidas; thus far the relationship seems very promising
and cool gloves- thanks for the bike shop voucher Mum!
and I run in lovely placesI have to move to my parents' town, I really do...
and I ride up big hillsOK it doesn't look that big from the top but seriously it was HUGE
I remember that all this exercising and racing is a get-to-do, not a have-to-do, and I have fun All The Time.

That's probably enough for today. Cheerio my ducklings!
more anon :)
*Can't Be Bothered

Gunna

All through the hoo-ha of my thesis at the end of last year I was looking forward to 2008 as my 'gunna year ' - I'm gunna do this, I'm gunna do that!
No uni! All that lovely lovely uncommitted time! I can get really tired and it won't matter!
Oh, the plans I have made!
Here they are.

Walk Noddie to kinder and be a kinder mum (I gather they cut up oranges and things? Ewww, I hate oranges *makes face* But I'll do it for Noddie). I was able to rearrange my work days so I have Noddie's kinder days off. Thanks boss!
Recreational reading? Sounds like fun! Bring on the trashy crime novels!*
Prune the roses. Our thirty six rose bushes have struggled on gamely the last two years but I keep expecting a handsome prince to ride out with Sleeping Beauty on his pommel.
Clean up the jungle/rubbish tip that the back of our yard and our shed have become while I've been too distracted to stop the Spousal Unit bringing Important Stuff home and leaving it around in huge messy piles arrgghh. I shouldn't go so crook at him when he made jam last night mmmm jam mmmm from the plums the birds didn't get but I'm just a big meany as you know.
Piano lessons. That tall wooden thing in our living room will no longer just be a place to put stuff out of Noddie's reach.
Sewing mmm new clothes mmmm, although since my twenty-two year old Singer died some of the fun has gone out of it - whipping it up on the Toyota doesn't have the same ring to it :(

And the really fun stuff....
26/01 Williamstown Australia Day Swim 2km
03/02 Gatorade Portarlington 800m/26km/8km
17/02 Gatorade Elwood 600m/20km/6km
24/02 Big Bay Swim Williamstown - Port Melbourne 3.4km
01/03 Pier to Perignon Swim Sorrento Portsea 4km. (maybe)
09/03 Victorian Olympic distance championships Bairnsdale 1500/40/10 (maybe)
30/03 Gatorade St Kilda 750m/20km/5km
11/05 Mothers' Day Run 8km
22/06 Run to the G Half Marathon (maybe)
06/07 Gold Coast Marathon. My very first shot at the Big One!
11/10 Melbourne Half Marathon. I WILL run around the G!
19/10 Bay in a Day Ride 210 km

.......who knows what else?

I can't wait.

More anon, big dreamers!
*how many exclamation marks can I use? Lots!!

why I can't possibly write anything.

I'm having far too good a time.
More anon, sybarites!

Closure

A very experienced triathlete said to me recently that we should think of what hills are doing for us, not what they are doing to us. I think this is a wise perspective and one I adopt whenever possible. Not when I'm actually riding up a hill, as I'm too busy swearing. But still. The Scary Bastard Hill makes me queasy with anxiety no more. More and more pissed off as it goes on and on and on, yes. Panting and red-faced with hurting legs, yes. Triumphant at the top, yes! Hill schmill. Bring it on! The arrow at the top of the elevation chart is where I stopped and turned back - twenty minutes up, ten minutes down, wheeeeee!
I had a moment of closure yesterday. I finished the run around the river trail that I started last Easter and abandoned when I tripped and snapped my ankle ligament.
I'm sorry I haven't posted much lately. I am so deep in holiday lassitude it's all I can do to get my Mum another cup of tea.
More anon, cruisers!

going to the country

So there I was all primed and bursting with enthusiasm and a New Plan (ooooh! a New Plan!) when POW! I was struck down with a stupid germy infection and have spent the last two days wobbling feebly about, bleating I'm sick in plaintive tones, and lying down in my room with the door shut while J took over arsenic hour (approx 5.30 - 8pm, for the edification of the child-free) parenting duties, mwahahaha. It was almost worth it.
Thanks to the miracles of modern horse-pills I am feeling much better today. I fished out a Pilates dvd that I bought at the supermarket ages ago - hey, Lisa McCune said I had to! who am I to ignore such wholesomeness? - and had an unco go at it. Noddie thought it was great fun and is insisting we take the dvd to Gran's tomorrow. Yes! We are off to my parents' for a week! The Spousal Unit is driving us up tomorrow and we are going to the races on Sunday - bring on the big hat, baby! - then he is going home in the evening and rejoining us next Friday for my Dad's 70th birthday. Poor J (he'd have had a better chance of getting holidays if he'd actually asked for some; my sympathy is limited cause I'm a big meany). We led an expedition of survival-trained SAS to the sleepout - also known as Mother's Despair or J's Black Hole O'Shite - and extracted the bike carrier so Minerva will be coming too! There's a tri I really kind of sort of have no idea why I want to do in March, which has a hill I really want to have conquered before I commit myself (to being DFL. In the Victorian Triathlon Chanpionships. Maybe I should just have myself committed). I Fear this hill. Driving up it makes me anxious. I WILL ride up it this week.

More anon, shake-n-bakers!

Happy New Year

The second annual NYD tri was hard work - it's 41 degrees today and the gym air conditioning, although struggling gamely, wasn't really up to it. But it was fun, in a sick way. Noddie had a sleepoverat Nanny and Pa's last night and J and I went to a party. It was quite like the old days - in the afternoon I whipped up a cool frock to wear, and we slept in until 9am!
Everyone is doing the big reflection/resolution thing and I think that's a good idea, but it's so f%&*ing hot here I'll have to do it in two parts.

WHAT I LEARNED IN 2007that springs to mind right this minute and what gave me the lesson.
Complaining, bitching, moaning and wallowing in self-pity is a normal and essential part of getting through hard stuff (ankle reconstruction, thesis)
Being really clear about your priorities makes life much simpler, if not easier (thesis).
Most things turn out ok if you are determined that they will (ankle reconstruction, thesis).
People's opinions may hurt me but they don't stop me (the Athena thing).
I am so blessed with loving people in my life. It's important to keep reaching out and telling them (J, family, nearby and online friends)
Big dreams fit into a little life if you let them (triathlon, uni).
Some people look at a problem and only see why it can't be solved. They are pains. Don't hang around with them. Hang around with people who see life as an adventure full of fun things to be enjoyed.

More on goals later, must fall asleep in front of, err I mean watch the Hopman Cup

Happy New Year, my friends :)

Party's over

What a great Christmas. Santa brought a new camera!*
After accidentally going to an Italian-language Mass (don't ask) we had a sit down Christmas dinner for 6 with the flash china and all the festive table decorations. In keeping with the spirit of love and joy of the day I refrained from murdering my mother-in-law.
3 hours later the rest of my family arrived for the present-swapping extravaganza and verandah chillout, including my parents and their astonishingly tall new dog. It was great fun to see everyone, catch up and just be together. Like most families we've had our share of tensions and rows over time: this year was a wonderful blessing. Especially the news that there will be a new niece or nephew arriving in June! Congratulations M and L!Boxing day was a haze of cuppas, the Sydney-Hobart and the Test. There was a lot of sitting down and eating another mince pie.
The 27th, J's birthday, was another cleaning-and-cooking endurathon - but get this - I burnt the birthday cake! I couldn't believe it! Good thing no-one knew or I'd have had to kill them. It was a great party, loud and silly(this is not me. It is my tiger suit) and packed with good friends .The 28th was spent destroying the evidence by more or less upending the house into the recycle bin then hosing it out.
Now the party's over and I'm glad. December was so crazy that there was no time for a Plan, only exercising when it fit in. I managed 5 times a week of this and that, but now I am thrilling to the sweet call of crossed-off boxes and quiet sunrises. It's time for a new Plan.
BTW, is anyone up for a New Year's Day Tri? I did one last year as part of an online event and it was so much fun I think I'll do another one to kick off 2008.

More anon, enthusiasts!
*Ans you have no doubt noticed.
My younger bro gave me the complete set of Fred and Ginger movies! Bliss!

HB 2U SU!

Happy Birthday to the Spousal Unit!

*Normal services, including moderation, real food and intentional exercise, had better resume shortly or I might pop.

Joyful and triumphant

Wishing you a happy and safe Christmas full of love.