I got the job

How to have fun

Complete all Sunday duties/chores/obligations/naps by 5pm
Put on
- explorer socks
- bike shoes
- leg warmers
- knicks
- hr monitor strap
- sports bra
- singlet
- new thick jersey
- rain jacket
- riding gloves
- winter gloves
- hr monitor watch
- wrist ID
- helmet
- glasses
Go out on Minerva for the first time in four weeks
Grin like an idiot
Maintain normal heart rate
See an amazing stormy sunset from the bike path
Get caught in soaking rain three minutes from home
Smile

We have both kinds of music

Don't get me wrong - I'm not running for Mrs Dismal 2008, or in anything resembling dire straits! My life is chock full o' the blessings of family, friends and material things. I just like this song :P

If you're going through hell, keep going Rodney Atkins
Well you know those times
When you feel like there's a sign there on your back
Says I don't mind if ya kick me
Seems like everybody has
Things go from bad to worse
You'd think they can't get worse than that
And then they do

You step off the straight and narrow
And you don't know where you are
Use the needle of your compass
To sew up your broken heart
Ask directions from a genie
In a bottle of Jim Beam
And she lies to you
That's when you learn the truth

If you're going through hell
Keep on going, don't slow down
If you're scared, don't show it
You might get out
Before the devil even knows you're there

Well I been deep down in that darkness
I been down to my last match
Felt a hundred different demons
Breathing fire down my back
And I knew that if I stumbled
I'd fall right into the trap that they were laying, yeah

But the good news
Is there's angels everywhere out on the street
Holding out a hand to pull you back up on your feet
The ones that you've been dragging for so long
You're on your knees
You might as well be praying
Guess what I'm saying

If your going through hell
Keep on going, don't slow down
If you're scared don't show it
You might get out
Before the devil even knows you're there

Yeah, If you're going through hell
Keep on moving, face that fire
Walk right through it
You might get out
Before the devil even knows you're there

If you're going through hell
Keep on going, don't slow down
If you're scared don't show it
You might get out
Before the devil even knows you're there

Yeah, If you're going through hell
Keep on moving, face that fire
Walk right through it
You might get out
Before the devil even knows you're there
Yeah, you might get out
Before the devil even knows you're there.

Not that I support the gun lobby in any way, but as the mother of a daughter who will one day be a teenager, I've become quite partial to this one as well LOL
Can you tell I'm looking for distractions while I wait for those pesky job people to get back to me?

More anon, out of the closet C&W fans!

then again

I got a bit of a shock yesterday when I went for a walk at lunchtime. Just a twenty minute amble in the sunshine, chatting away with my friend, then up the stairs again to my office on the second floor. Nothing.

Mate. Maaaaate. Ever had those swimmy black not-enough-oxygen thingys in front of your eyes? They went away quickly; it was just scary to be so weak. But I'm getting better. Another stroll today, then a Very Short swim tomorrow. I really really need to get in the water. Mmmmmmmmmmm water.............

At this rate my Exciting Summer Plan (I'd tell you but I'd have to kill you) is looking unlikely. Sigh.

Then again, the people I had the interview with emailed to tell me that they will be contacting my referees on Monday! Ooooh! This isn't the job of my dreams, but it's a (biggish, sideways) jump into the right sector. It will be a huge change. Fingers crossed for me please!

More anon, oarsmen!

Waiting, waiting, waiting

Facebook conversation, or why I *heart* Sara
Between (Secret Sara) and (LBTEPA)
LBTEPA
HI Sara
I went back to the Dr yesterday and have been given the big DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT for the Whittlesea ride.
I'm so sorry.
I hope I can still train with you at some stage, it's just that my immune system has taken such a beating I have to get back into things really gently.
They refunded my entry fee though, nice of them
Sorry again :(

SECRET SARA
The most important thing is to get better- I am fine about going by myself- remember last year when my friend backed out on the City to Surf in Sydney- I went anyway. Hope you are doing the chicken soup thing or whatever works.
How did the job interview go? I hope you were DAZZLING. Rest up and I will see you on the road in the cold when you are well!
sara
I think she is front runner for "the nicest person evah" award.

The Dr has prescribed no exercise until at least this coming weekend (three whole weeks off!!$%#&??!!), and then to start very slowly, maybe (and I quote) with 'some gentle walking'
Resulting inner monologue:
Walking? Walking?!!??!!??!!
Walking isn't exercise, it's how you get your lunch!
followed by
Don't be such a prat, Mrs Tickets-on-yourself
and then
Maybe I've been sicker than I thought....I'll wait until the weekend. And then walk.
If you have any thoughts on immune-system boosters - superfoods, supplements, anything - tell me! This winter has been Utterly Tiresome to say the least.
My interview went much better than I expected. I was nearly sick with fear and had to overcome an all-but overwhelming urge to run away, but apart from that the old skills came back pretty easily and I am very hopeful. We should hear by mid next week.
Waiting, waiting, waiting....

Bits and pieces

I’ve started drinking green tea. I quite like it, possibly because of my blocked nose.
As you know, I was unhappy with my Gold Coast Half Marathon time at first. A lot of it was *activate whining voice* but I worked so haaaaaaaard, and I reaaaaaalllly wanted it, and it’s not faaaaaaair. Don’t frown disapprovingly like that. You’ve been there. You know you have. Except possibly Benson, who I am sure is actually a superhero in disguise (how can I not look up to a man who uses the phrase ‘pegging out the fun-meter’?). Or Nancy. Or Katy. Or Brian. Ok, ok, it was a lame-arse dummy-spit. I’m over it now. It did give rise to some brain-numbing cogitations - to the poor Spousal-Unit's brain at any rate, as he was obliged to listen while I faffed on. My goal was to beat 2.30. For a half-marathon. That’s slow. Some people run full marathons in that time. I wrestled with this.
Argument 1. what right have you got to be so upset? Would have running 2.29 for a half got you a slot on the team for Beijing, a BQ or a Six Foot Track spot? Who other than you gives a rodent’s rear end? Get over yourself, Mrs Self-aggrandisement 2008!
Argument 2. No no no no no! (I have a lot of conversations with myself, we get quite vehement) Just because I’m slow doesn’t mean my goals aren’t important. I’m entitled to be disappointed when I don’t reach them. It’s about the process, not the outcome. I did the work and I’m allowed to be proud, and disappointed. Another champagne? Ta! As time has passed argument 2 has cemented itself as the Official Opinion. That’s good: the Spousal Unit can stop feigning interest/comprehension now.
Sh*t! Better turn off whining voice now. Meant to do it ages ago. Sorry
My brain has turned to mush. Evidence: Nell Campbell was on Spicks and Specks the other day. This is a top show - last week I had the great pleasure of hearing not one but two Irishmen uttering the phrase "budgie smugglers". But I digress. I could not remember the name of Nell Campbell's character in the Rocky Horror Picture Show. My friends, my friends - I watch that movie at least twice a year. I’ve danced on the stage at the Valhalla. I am not in any of those photos. Luckily my brother and sister answered my sms sos so I could sleep easily.
I had a startling realisation this week. I don’t NEED to have large scary goals ALL the time. This is unexpected, but explains why I’m not worrying about being able to do the Hills ‘o Doom bike ride next month. I’ll decide later.The sky won’t fall if I DNS*
My job interview is next Tuesday. If this pans out I could be working in the field I’ve been studying, rather than getting-paid-for-showing-up-to-answer-the-phone-(should-it-happen-to-ring). That would be good.
I have just discovered that there is an Olga Berg outlet around the corner from where I work. Next to an I *heart* Billy shoe outlet. Which are open on Fridays. Which is a day that I work. Is it so wrong to walk around a warehouse crooning and patting things? **

More anon, appreciators of life's pleasures!

*Victoria Police forensic graphology experts have established that, despite appearances, this section of the post WAS written by LBTEPA and NOT some other, sensible, person. LBTEPA is yet to make a statement.
**Yes I bought some shoes. And a bag. You knew that.

What we did on our holidays

So many souvenirs! Noddie brought home a race number, hat and medal, a stuffed koala and a toy seal, a taste for daredevil rollercoaster rides after we got lost and went into the teen area of Dreamworld by mistake, and slap cheek
The Spousal Unit brought home the contentment that comes from having cable TV and driving a fun hire car for a week, and bacterial gastrenteritic colitis (I wrote it down)
I brought home a good run, a medal, time with good friends old and new,the deep satisfaction of rollercoaster riding and severe acute bronchitis. No exercise at all for a week, then start back slowly. Sheesh. We are the most crap advertisement ever for the Healthy Lifestyle. I have a job interview this week too, not sure when, but that's what codral is for. It's a very good thing that Team LBTEPA always has a a good time.

More anon, thrill seekers!




Sorry the photos are all over the place - the formatting looked perfect on the previews!

No Photos = Did Not Happen

Team LBTEPA had a very nice time indeed on the Gold Coast, despite the weather (and after all, a rainy day at a theme park = MORE RIDES, does it not?) and assorted lingering lurgi. We got home last night and nothing is unpacked. Not. A. Thing. It's about midday, Noddie is asleep on the couch in front of Playschool, the Spousal Unit is playing V8 Supercars on his PS2 and I'm faffing around in my pjs and dressing gown editing photos, putting them on Facebook and reading Coolrunning race reports. Aren't you proud of me for being so cruisy?
It seems that I am to reap the consequences of running in the rain a couple of weeks ago instead of resting and taking care of myself properly - my new nicknames could be any or all of 'phlegm-chest', 'razor throat' or 'fearsome bark that makes me think my head will come off' although that last one seems a bit wordy to me. Thank you for not saying I told you so. This bodes ill for a quick return to any focused training, but I'm not thinking about that until Monday when I confab with my dr about how to sort this out Once and For All.
If no photos = did not happen, then here for your viewing pleasure is what did.See that big building? We were staying there and I didn't even notice we ran past it. Only about 500m to go at this point, THANK GOODNESS.
More bling for Noddie
and there's no time like the present for a boogie to the band!

LBTEPA's brush with greatness - Katy the Greaty!

So secure she's taken off her medal (I wore mine until Wednesday)
Discussing the importance of post-race hydration with Mrs Wombat.
Now if you're very good I might post some more photos next time. There's an incentive if ever you had one.
More anon, lotus-eaters!

Happy(ish)

2:31:35
So many ways it could have been different. Noddie could have slept more than 90 minutes at a time without waking up;J could have gone to the doctor on Wednesday (as I Told Him to) and not passed his gastro on; it could have not rained (sideways - ah,the irony of my last post!) so hard my shoes got soaked and the laces stretched so I had to re-tie them twice. It is what it is. I learned a lot. I knew by about 11km that a PB would take something surprising, especially since I couldn't get my HR under 155. 5km to go I turned my watch around so I couldn't see it and just went for it. I just ran and ran and ran as hard and as long as I could. I actually said to myself, if you vomit then you vomit, I didn't come all this way to not throw everything at a PB. I passed 65 people in the last 1.5km. It just wasn't my day. I've run the gamut of (not necessarily appropriate or sensible) emotions from rage at Noddie's and the Spousal Unit's "thoughtlessness" (YES I am a bad mother, but you knew that) to gutted at how close I went (66 seconds) to self-blame (I just didn't work hard enough) to self-pity (why do I bother?) to thrilled at having been part of such a great day - although that took a few post-race rehydration units with some sterling new friends. Let me salute you all, my friends! Mrs Wombat for her first half-marathon, Emma for a new PB, Katy for her first hm since breaking her femur, Jaykay and Plodbod for their first marathons and Michelle for her overall awesomeness. I have a fuzzy recollection of agreeing to target Melbourne 2009 as my first full marathon but what happens on the Gold Coast stays on the Gold Coast, I reckon.
I'm going to run out of coins for the internet before I work out how to upload photos onto this machine tonight, so

-more anon, philosphers!

Pleased, Happy or Thrilled?

So:
4 more sleeps until my "A race" - coo er gosh doesn't that sound all serious and keen? But this has been my focus for several months now, and it will be the best prepared I've ever been for a half certainly compared to the last one ahem hem with five runs over 16km on the tally.
Now all the big kids have A, B and C goals, so if I'm to maintain the ruse that I am Serious About This then I'd better get some too. However, I will eschew alphabetical classifications and use Pleased, Happy and Thrilled.
Pleased: finish strongly and have fun.
Happy: 2:30- 2:35 (my PB is 2:30)
Thrilled: anything under 2:30.
Wishy-washy? Perhaps. I just don't know what to expect so I'm setting it up to be failure-proof.

It's all been a bit mad here this week as J and Noddie slowly come good from the gastro and I try and look after them, keep up with the washing, start to pack and clean the house since we leave at 6am on Saturday, and do my last taper runs. Oh, and go to work. Things have been so topsy-turvy that I hit the 5kg-of-lard-off mark this morning *does happy dance* and I almost forgot to be thrilled about it! Being a bit flustered has had one benefit - I've also had no time to panic about this. In seven weeks. Eek.

3 more sleeps and we'll be somewhere it's not cold and raining horizontally.....
More anon, loungers-by-the-pool!

House of plague

The Spousal Unit and Noddie have both had viral gastroenteritis (or so the doctor described it) all weekend. J was so sick he asked me to drive him to the doctor on Sunday morning.
Things I am glad about:
- I haven't caught it (fingers crossed, please!)
- the 24-hour clinic 2km from our place
- whatever the doctor gave J, because it worked.
- our washing machine and dryer (I know, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! We were running out of sheets and it's been freezing and drizzly)
- Gatorade, because J can keep it down
- they're much better today
- five more sleeps until we leave for Queensland. Six sleeps until the Gold Coast half and Noddie's interstate racing debut

more anon, Florence Nightingales!

Not a Run Melbourne race report

I often get comments about getting up early, training out in the weather all the time, how I must be so 'disciplined', 'dedicated' etc. etc (ahem, LOL ROFL). As you know, this is far from the case. When I was little my Mum used to play us a bedtime story tape of Peter Rabbit. Peter sang a little song about why he got into such mischief. It pretty much explains everything, and goes like this:

Why do I do it?
What is the cure?
My brothers and my sisters find it easy I am sure
That's how I've been ever since I begun
Why do I do it?
Why do I do it?
Why DO I do it?

BECAUSE

IT'S

FUN!

Happy anniversary

June 22nd 2007 June 22nd 2008

Running a hilly half marathon in the rain was undoubtedly a stupid idea* given that the doctor told me to stay in bed until tomorrow, but I was happy with my time (if not my heart rate), considering. I wanted to celebrate being on two strong legs, and I did.
I plan to spend tomorrow glued to the live feed from Ironman Coeur d'Alene, where my blogger mates Misty, Brian, Tea and SWTG are dreaming big and going hard.

More anon, happy people!
*VERY, VERY STUPID. DO NOT DO THIS. DAIS, NAID (Do As I Say, Not As I Do) *cough cough*

It could have worked - renamed NO, YOU DUFFER, IT COULDN'T

When Lurgi Attack (top name for a movie, no?) here at chateau LBTEPA, the normal procedure is thus:
1. strike dramatic pose, complain frequently and loudly;
2. Rest Rest Rest (always secretly convinced that I will certainly lose every skerrick of hard-earned fitness and gain at least 11kg in four or five days);
3. Get better, start training again (see 1.)
This time I thought, well, why not be all TTHU* and maintain a reduced exercise program, of course monitoring frequently for Bad Things such as those weird hot and cold sweats or trouble getting a full breath.
This seemed Like a Good Idea At The Time because
1. It amuses me to pretend to be all gritty and hardcore;
2. I've read in lots of places that 'above the neck is ok' (although reading back over that, it sounds like what I'll tell Noddie before her first date WHEN SHE IS 28), and this was just a HEAD cold;
*UPDATE: My doctor tells me this is a MAJOR furphy. Sick = sick. Rest = rest. LBTEPA = STUPID.
3. No pesky head cold is going to stop me having fun;
4. No Bad Things were happening.........
until yesterday, when my short slow swim told me loud and clear that I lost the toss BIG time. Maaate.... it wasn't exactly unpleasant (especially after I hit the codral). I just couldn't move. Or think. Oh well. I've crawled out of bed today to email my boss, J is taking me to the doctor for some horse pills later, and these tiresome aches and razor throat will disappear by Sunday. They will. Even if they don't, it's time to start tapering for the Gold Coast so I was going to rest more this week anyway. So there.
It could have worked.
UPDATE 1: (smacks self on head) NO, IT COULDN'T, YOU NONG!. Oh well. Live and learn. Take your antibiotics. Sleep.
UPDATE 2: The wonderful Spousal Unit interrupted my moaning about being too stupid to realise I had an acute infection to say he thought I'd have got sick anyway and I probably hadn't made myself worse by soldiering on. He's so nice.

More anon, never-say-die people!
*Toughen The Heck Up. I'm in a genteel phase

S and M on the freeway

S(ara) and M(inerva) and I had the Best Day Ever riding along the freeway yesterday morning. I didn't take my camera; these photos are from the paper .Hard to imagine, but it was even more fun than it looks!
Highlights of the day
- waking up at 3.30am with a rotten headache from my #$%&! headcold, hopping online while the drugs kicked in, reading Nancy's post and remembering I needed my number and chip!!!!
- sleeping in, being horribly late and the wonderful Sara saying she'd wait for me
- parking in an illegal spot, realising it, joining the enormous slow queue of other confused sad late people, and then getting a super park only 1km from the start.
- finding Sara easily among the 26,000 other cyclists
- zoooooooooooming along the smoothest road I've ever been on
- a funny, positive thoughtful friend to pedal along, puff up hills and generally share the day with (((HUGS))) to you Sara!
- my arm warmers and gloves - so soft! so light! so warm!
- the quirky sculptures
- calling 'beeep' to each other and giggling as we rode under the toll points
- lowering my seat 3mm = no hip soreness at all
- getting mixed up with the 'family ride' - it was like riding through a chook pen, so funny!
- also very funny - a small girl yelling look Mummy, one of the really fast riders! as I passed
- the grease I got on my new red windcheater when I was getting Minerva out of the car aarrgghh!!! Nooooooooo!! came off easily in the wash
- a glorious nanna nap zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Other news

My friend is going much better and thanks you all very much for your kind thoughts and prayers ((hugs)) you are all the BEST ((mwah!!))
Other news: I'm very very pleased to report that Team LBTEPA seems to be getting on much better since the Family Meeting.
The 65km freeway ride is this Sunday, and if this weather keeps up I should drown or freeze to death before I fall off from exhaustion. As is my wont, I have resorted to the 'throw money at it' solution and invested in arm-warmers and some winter gloves.
I have now lost 4.5 whole kgs this year - what a speedster, eh? - and can write a thrilling new 'Xkg-1' number on the fridge and the stove splashback, woot! This is the lightest I've been in seven years.
Noddie's latest disgusting lurgi has attacked and is incommoding me somewhat, but echinacea and ibuprofen are keeping it at bay and me on the road and in the pool. Never surrender!
My new windcheater arrived startlingly quickly, no doubt because of the astonishing postage charges. I am utterly in love with it - so soft! so red! such a cool design! - and want to wear it All The Time.
Our new lounge suite will be here in about an hour. It's a La-Z-Boy with those footrest thingos so J thinks he's died and gone to heaven. He's actually sweeping the living room right now, so maybe I've died and gone to heaven!

More anon, rocker-recliners!

Perspective

I just got some news that put all my petty tribulations and triumphs into perspective. My friend who was admitted to the psych ward for excessive anxiety about her baby's development has finally got to see a consultant paediatric neurologist ie someone who actually knows what he's talking about and has been told that her 4-month old actually does have brain damage because of the medication she (my friend) was prescribed to help with breastfeeding. Which is banned in the U.S. because it's known to cause brain damage.
F#$%ing breast-feeding Nazis and their rotten stinking breastfeed-at-all-costs propaganda. F#$%ing judgemental no-kids know-nothing psychiatrist. F#$%ing dismisstive paediatricians and maternal health nurses. Bastards.
I don't know how she can stand it. How could anyone stand it? I just don't know.
Please send her your prayers.

More anon

Snakes and ladders

I did 19km yesterday in 2hrs 30 minutes - don't laugh, this is a good non-race run for me! - with no soreness at all afterward. It's either the chi-running technique or the protein shakes after a long workout or both, but I'll be starting the Gold Coast half mara with the most consistent preparation I've ever managed.
Noddie's hobbies du jour include arguing, shouting, contradicting, being rude and disobedient, giving cheek and generally sending Mummy completely mental. This morning after yet another incessant argument-fest, I dropped the ball entirely and just started crying and couldn't stop. This was in lieu of shaking her until her teeth rattled, so it was for the best, although I wish my nose didn't spread across my face when I get the sooks cause everyone at work kept asking me what was wrong. Note to self: write rude letter to Avon about their 'waterproof' mascara, ha!
I racked my brains all day about how we could change the trajectory of this behaviour. All I could think of was a Family Meeting (we've never had such a thing before, but I was desperate) where we started by saying 3 things we liked about the other two, then we each got to set Limits for the other two. They have 'Limits' at kinder, and Noddie loves kinder so much I'm willing to ride that sleigh until it crashes into the gates of Hades. My limits are not be so cross and not shout so much, and Noddie's are to wear what Mummy gives her without arguing, except on Fridays and Saturdays when she can choose whatever she likes, and to either eat her breakfast or to explain politely that she's not hungry. J has some Limits too, but a wifely loyalty forbids me throwing the harsh light of public opinion on them.
Speaking of trajectories, I have radically changed a habit which has been worrying me for some time. For the last five weeks I have restricted my wine drinking to one glass - or fewer! - per day, 5 days a week. I didn't say anything because people can be a bit judgemental about drinking and also ok ok I admit it I was a bit ashamed that it had got this far, and a bit afraid I wouldn't be able to do it. But I made myself a little chart, and nicked some of Noddie's good behaviour stickers, and I did it!
I will soon be wearing this to remind myself that I can - and I do - make positive changes. It's not all whingeing and showing off!
The best news of all that I got today is that my dear friend M does not have lupus. It's a good day.
More anon, my friends

Welcome

Riding 40km along a new bike path in the fog that never burned off even at midday: a cold cold adventure.
Running in the dark foggy morning: freezing, but spookily fun!
Running out of petrol on the way to work, blocking the Hoddle St on ramp, being pushed to a safe place by a kind cyclist and then rescued by the Spousal Unit: an embarrassing pain in the a%se.

Hearing that your new baby nephew has arrived safe and sound: priceless! Driving a 300km round trip after work to see him, my brother and sister-in-law and introduce Noddie to her new cousin: absolutely worth it.
Welcome to our family, little Zach.

Ten minutes more

Off to face the Fear of Long Runs again (but it's a step-back week, yay!) after this so will keep it to a ten-minute 'splat' - I apologise in advance for all the lazy-arse dashes - yes I do!
Thanks for all the good wishes and prayers about my friend - she is improving little by little and has been allowed home for the weekend which is a good sign.
It was one of those stupid weekends where the best plans were thrown awry and a lovely sleep-in turned into a missed run b/c of lack of organisation by people other than myself, so I had to wrench my mind away from the 'failure' and back to the fact that May was my second-highest and most- consistent training month for the year. The fabulous Jeanne has been good enough to send on her tri-club swim workouts so lunchtime plods-up-and-down have turned into fun fun fun speedy(ish) playtimes.
On Saturday Noddie and I went to the airport and saw Mum and my sister off on their Big Trip - a month in the U.K! So exciting!

My beloved Doggies handed the undefeated Hawks a trouncing, causing me to dance and sing about the living room in an immoderate fashion and make Noddie laugh and laugh.
J and I went to an engagement party full of 20-somethings - why do they all wear so much black, I wonder?
(the following conversation became even funnier when it was repeated almost verbatim several times).
LBTEPA to 20-something uni friend: so good to see you - we'll have to catch up more often. Can I message you on Facebook? 20-S u f (very startled): Are you on Facebook?!?!!?
LBTEPA: darl, my parents both have Facebook pages
20-S u f (creaking sound of shifting world-view): Oh.......
Confirmed my social ineptitude by dashing from church to a blogger meetup, arriving half an hour late, finding no-one, apologising on facebook then finding out I was 3 weeks early. Please pass me the paper bag mask that none may recognise me.
The thing I love most about my kid is that a day spent arguing over everything and fighting with me about everything and generally driving me insane can end with an exciting adventure walk (aka what the f$%& else can I do to pass the time before J gets home ?) down by the creek in the foggy dark - with gloves and hats and torches!!! Cool!! - and all is well again.
That's 20 minutes....must be off - I'm wearing my "Warning: training with hangover" shirt and it's not even the slightest bit accurate and after the weekend I had that's an achievement too :)

More anon, celebrators of small victories!