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Look! Shoes!
Monday, October 08, 2012
The thing you don't want to hear
...your physio say the specialists at Olympic Park sports medicine have access to the best orthopaedic surgeons......
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.
.
Look! Shoes!
More anon, optimists!
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Look! Shoes!
Saturday, October 06, 2012
open letter
Dear LBTEPA
please please please pleeeaasse stop kidding yourself. Things are not improving. They are getting worse and worse - every time you (ahem) 'run', even at that paltry level and for that paltry distance, the soreness and niggles are more intense and last for longer. You can feel it all the time now, even as you're sitting there writing. Walking is getting more painful. You need to admit that the experiment hasn't gone as you hoped. It's time to stop running, darl, right now, before things are even more buggered up. You gave it a good shot, and you were careful and patient. It should have worked and it might have worked but it's pretty clear now that it didn't. On Monday you need to ring the physio and ask for that referral.
It's not the end of the world though, mate. It sucks and I'm very scared and worried too, but we'll get through it, I know
(((hugs)))
your ankle
PS I'm sure it will be ok. Eventually.
Did I tell you I was thinking of taking up cross-stitch?
More anon, thumbelinas!
please please please pleeeaasse stop kidding yourself. Things are not improving. They are getting worse and worse - every time you (ahem) 'run', even at that paltry level and for that paltry distance, the soreness and niggles are more intense and last for longer. You can feel it all the time now, even as you're sitting there writing. Walking is getting more painful. You need to admit that the experiment hasn't gone as you hoped. It's time to stop running, darl, right now, before things are even more buggered up. You gave it a good shot, and you were careful and patient. It should have worked and it might have worked but it's pretty clear now that it didn't. On Monday you need to ring the physio and ask for that referral.
It's not the end of the world though, mate. It sucks and I'm very scared and worried too, but we'll get through it, I know
(((hugs)))
your ankle
PS I'm sure it will be ok. Eventually.
Did I tell you I was thinking of taking up cross-stitch?
Friday, October 05, 2012
Since last we spoke
Since last we spoke, dear readers, I have been Out For A Run four times. What? you gasp, Why weren't we told? Why were there no fanfares and fireworks?
Well the thing is this: there are two things actually, don't confuse me. Thing 1: by (ahem) 'Run' I mean walk 50 steps run 20 steps for not more than 15 minutes. Try that for a while, if you want to DO YOUR HEAD IN.
But LBTEPA, you soothe (aren't you nice?) you've had a long lay-off. You have to start small. Be patient. From little things big things grow etc etc etc.. And haven't you been outside? In the sunshine and the fresh air? How nice is that? This is true, my friends. You are right, as always (you're great!). Being outside is one big happy bundle of Hello There Good Things I've Missed You!
But onto Thing 2, as we must. My physio has laid it down that this slow cautious teeny tiny very patient and disciplined program is to See What Happens. It's been more than five months since the Great Prawn Disaster; if my ankle can't tolerate slow cautious teeny tiny etc etc (ahem) 'running' without pain, then it's off to the Specialists in the Big Smoke becuase she has got nuffin' left. Nuffin. It's not going well right now. My ankle is sore and niggly all the time. A tip for the more anxious among my five faithful readers: don't g00g1e 'persistent ankle pain post chip fracture'. Just don't.
But LBTEPA is doggedly remaining in the Too Early To Tell Zone. I can Not Know Yet and be ok with that. I have to. Worrying and worrying is doing my head in and there are loads of other things queueing to do that.
In other news, I have just made the final couple of weeks of the Thesis That Ate My Brain insanely more difficult. Through sheer stupidity. No one to blame but me. You see, I sent the first draft off to my supervisor and waited until yesterday (the agreed date) for her reply... which was, hi could you send me the first draft please as we have only 2 weeks until it's due
.
.
.
It was in the draft folder. I'd pressed save instead of send. Now I'll have six days instead of 13 to fix it and get it bound and sent off. Thinking about it makes me feel sick.
This morning blogger ate the hilarious and pithy post I was writing this morning as a treat insted of folding the washing and I bawled my eyes out.
I just want to cry and cry and eat and eat all the time but a) I have to go to work and b) I've already gained so much weight that it's interfering with my rehab (my physio said) and my pretty summer clothes don't fit and I don't need another dunk in the look-what-you've-done-you-have-no-self-control-you-loser barrel. Not today anyway.
It's hard to blog at the moment becuase the inside of my head is such a mess. Here's a photo of an elephant instead
Well the thing is this: there are two things actually, don't confuse me. Thing 1: by (ahem) 'Run' I mean walk 50 steps run 20 steps for not more than 15 minutes. Try that for a while, if you want to DO YOUR HEAD IN.
But LBTEPA, you soothe (aren't you nice?) you've had a long lay-off. You have to start small. Be patient. From little things big things grow etc etc etc.. And haven't you been outside? In the sunshine and the fresh air? How nice is that? This is true, my friends. You are right, as always (you're great!). Being outside is one big happy bundle of Hello There Good Things I've Missed You!
But onto Thing 2, as we must. My physio has laid it down that this slow cautious teeny tiny very patient and disciplined program is to See What Happens. It's been more than five months since the Great Prawn Disaster; if my ankle can't tolerate slow cautious teeny tiny etc etc (ahem) 'running' without pain, then it's off to the Specialists in the Big Smoke becuase she has got nuffin' left. Nuffin. It's not going well right now. My ankle is sore and niggly all the time. A tip for the more anxious among my five faithful readers: don't g00g1e 'persistent ankle pain post chip fracture'. Just don't.
But LBTEPA is doggedly remaining in the Too Early To Tell Zone. I can Not Know Yet and be ok with that. I have to. Worrying and worrying is doing my head in and there are loads of other things queueing to do that.
In other news, I have just made the final couple of weeks of the Thesis That Ate My Brain insanely more difficult. Through sheer stupidity. No one to blame but me. You see, I sent the first draft off to my supervisor and waited until yesterday (the agreed date) for her reply... which was, hi could you send me the first draft please as we have only 2 weeks until it's due
.
.
.
It was in the draft folder. I'd pressed save instead of send. Now I'll have six days instead of 13 to fix it and get it bound and sent off. Thinking about it makes me feel sick.
This morning blogger ate the hilarious and pithy post I was writing this morning as a treat insted of folding the washing and I bawled my eyes out.
I just want to cry and cry and eat and eat all the time but a) I have to go to work and b) I've already gained so much weight that it's interfering with my rehab (my physio said) and my pretty summer clothes don't fit and I don't need another dunk in the look-what-you've-done-you-have-no-self-control-you-loser barrel. Not today anyway.
It's hard to blog at the moment becuase the inside of my head is such a mess. Here's a photo of an elephant instead
More anon, glitterati!
Monday, September 24, 2012
Lost in Translation
The other day I was wrestling with the Thesis That Ate My Brain and I kind of...er... got into a bit of a tizzy, as you do, or well I do, and I started to Worry About Things. Ankle Things. Will this bloody thing ever get better Things. Have we reached crunch time or is there still hope Things (told you I was in a tizzy). So I rang my physio and asked her - or so I thought. I must have been speaking tizzyspeak becuase her response was all about my going to Melbourne for a second opinion if I wasn't happy with hers, (?!?!?!), reports for insurance claims (??!!??!?), etc etc etc. Eventually I managed to stammer out my actual question: have we reached the point of no improvement vis-a-vis the Stupid Ankle, or is it too early to tell? All my fingers are crossed for B, I'm giving you the drum. The physio explained that to date we have been focusing on rest, and now it's time to start loading the ankle more to see what happens (that sounds like B, don't you think? Woot!), but I can still go to Melbourne for a second opinion etc etc etc. How embarrassment. That'll teach me. All I really wanted to know was whether I should put my marathon medals in the cupboard and start giving away my shoes.
or possibly buying some new ones. You never know.
More anon, babel-fishers!
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Where in the world is LBTEPA?
I don't know that the full import of my last post imparted itself to my five faithful readers.
I WENT FOR A RIDE ON MY BIKE.
I WENT OUTSIDE.
ON MY OWN.
AND WORKED UP A SWEAT.
OUTSIDE.
ON MY OWN.
ON MY BIKE.
FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE MAY.
Just writing that put the most massive grin on my face, and I'm currently this ( - ) close to handing in the first draft of the Thesis That Ate My Brain howwillIgetitdonebytomorrwarrgghhh? so it's only the most fabulous thoughts that can plaster a smile on this dial. Hello bike = helloooo instant good mood!!! My family plans to present my physio with a plaque to express their gratitude. It's pretty quiet where I live. A morning ride to the gym might involve seeing perhaps two cars, but instead some pretty mist over the parks and the river valley. There are cockatoos and lorikeets. It's coming up to magpie season but I'll deal with that. You can't bring me down off my high. Oh my friends, my friends, how I have missed that wonderful spinning-along feeling and the hum of the tyres as you ease on down the road. Do you ride a bike? Do you like it? Why? Share!
In other news, LBTEPA's family and friends are deeply saddened to advise her readers that apart from the odd velocipedic outing, gung-ho workout ninja LBTEPA has been reported missing, presumed gone troppo. They blame society.
There have been rumours as to her fate
and even sightings, although none from verifiable sources.
A search party has been despatched
but really all we can do is hope for the best and trust in the old LBTEPA pluck to bring her safely home.
More anon, whip-crackers!
I WENT FOR A RIDE ON MY BIKE.
I WENT OUTSIDE.
ON MY OWN.
AND WORKED UP A SWEAT.
OUTSIDE.
ON MY OWN.
ON MY BIKE.
FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE MAY.
Just writing that put the most massive grin on my face, and I'm currently this ( - ) close to handing in the first draft of the Thesis That Ate My Brain howwillIgetitdonebytomorrwarrgghhh? so it's only the most fabulous thoughts that can plaster a smile on this dial. Hello bike = helloooo instant good mood!!! My family plans to present my physio with a plaque to express their gratitude. It's pretty quiet where I live. A morning ride to the gym might involve seeing perhaps two cars, but instead some pretty mist over the parks and the river valley. There are cockatoos and lorikeets. It's coming up to magpie season but I'll deal with that. You can't bring me down off my high. Oh my friends, my friends, how I have missed that wonderful spinning-along feeling and the hum of the tyres as you ease on down the road. Do you ride a bike? Do you like it? Why? Share!
In other news, LBTEPA's family and friends are deeply saddened to advise her readers that apart from the odd velocipedic outing, gung-ho workout ninja LBTEPA has been reported missing, presumed gone troppo. They blame society.
There have been rumours as to her fate
More anon, whip-crackers!
Sunday, September 09, 2012
Cluck!
NEWS FLASH! DATELINE TUESDAY: A reporter from the LBTEPA Times has today announced that our heroine's physio has given LBTEPA permission to ride her mountain bike!!! LBTEPA's bike, not the physio's. Do pay attention. For one thing she's a short lady so it would be too small. Said riding is to occur for not more than 30 minutes every second day, to see what happens. Any ankle pain means stop stop STOP STOP RIGHT NOW NO NO NO VERY BAD. This is Very Exciting News - I haven't been on a proper bike since May! This is the start of getting my life back!
So has your heroine in fact been out on her bike?
She has not.
And why is that, my five faithful readers may rightly ask?
Welll... brace yourself for some lame excuses, 'cause they're on the way....
I've been sick. The thing with sinus infections these days, as I believe I have mentioned before, is that since the re-bore I no longer wish to saw off my own head within minutes of the germs assaulting my immune system. It takes me much longer to notice that I've been dragging myself around doing the absolute minimum family maintenance, not exercising and wishing I was dead NOT because I am slack and lazy and unable to handle stress (I had a uni assignment returned to re-do and I cried for an hour. At work. Thank goodness it was Friday afternoon and the place was almost deserted) but because I'm actually very very crook.
I've also been pretty busy at uni as you can see from the above. This situation will ease in due course though, sometime in December. I hope.
*LBTEPA has left the room to bang her head on the desk and think about wine and shoes. We appreciate your patience. Normal service will resume shortly*
Yes, give the lady a free ticket to Sooky La-La Land on the Spineless Express! What if it hurts? What if it's not properly better? You know what? What if? So what? I will go today, I promise. I'll take a photo for you, if I don't fall off.
More anon, cluckers!
So has your heroine in fact been out on her bike?
She has not.
And why is that, my five faithful readers may rightly ask?
Welll... brace yourself for some lame excuses, 'cause they're on the way....
I've been sick. The thing with sinus infections these days, as I believe I have mentioned before, is that since the re-bore I no longer wish to saw off my own head within minutes of the germs assaulting my immune system. It takes me much longer to notice that I've been dragging myself around doing the absolute minimum family maintenance, not exercising and wishing I was dead NOT because I am slack and lazy and unable to handle stress (I had a uni assignment returned to re-do and I cried for an hour. At work. Thank goodness it was Friday afternoon and the place was almost deserted) but because I'm actually very very crook.
Aaand the LBTEPA Award for the Most Wonderful Thing Ever Invented goes to....ANTIBIOTICS!!!
*LBTEPA has left the room to bang her head on the desk and think about wine and shoes. We appreciate your patience. Normal service will resume shortly*
I saw this car last time I was in Melbourne. The number is now on my speed dial.
Blah blah blah excuses excuses, pictures to distract you from excuses, it's been unbelievably windy and raining a lot and J has been on late shift blah blah blah. Wanna know the real reason I haven't been out on my bike?
More anon, cluckers!
Tuesday, September 04, 2012
JFWS
I've been falling into that blogger black hole where you don't have time to write the usual epic so you don't write anything, then you haven't written anything for ages so you Owe The Readers a particularly jaw-dropping bit of epic prose but you don't have time for that and on it goes. I'm at the unpleasantly crunchy end of my thesis and after mumblemumbleOMFGhasitbeenthatlong years of formal education I do Know One Thing about writing: you have to write something. Just Write Something is my motto with the Thesis That has Eaten My Life and is now Eating My Brain (don't expect any sense out of me in the next six weeks no no nooooooo), and henceforth it shall also be my blogging motto.
So
As my five faithful readers are aware, this is a sort-of endurance sport blog, not a weight-loss blog. However, I want to share one of those make-a-face moments - I got a new ID card yesterday for my new placement (that's I'm doing while I finish the Thesis That is Eating My Brain. The placement is at the local psychiatric ward which I think is apt). I put it on the doover with my work ID card. The two photos were taken about two years apart, and the second one is as flattering as the first (there are some gifted photographers in East Gippsland HR). But the new one still looks like the old one's fat ill much older sister. My sugar (fermented and otherwise)-based stress-management strategy is showing. I have no portrait in my attic. Must look into that.
In other news:
I go back to the physio today to see how close I am to going outside. Gosh I miss riding my bike. I'm a bit upset at the moment becuase my other foot - the one that went bung last year - is hurting again! I went to Melbourne last week and walked all day (YAY!) in flat boots with no arch supports (doh) so maybe that's it. I love my boots though. I am blessed with extremely shapely calves so finding boots that both do up and are appropriately fabulous is a challenge.
In other other news: hurrah! Hurrah! IT'S SPRING!!! We went to the beach on the boat on Sunday. It was brilliant.
Obligatory Exercise News: 2 trips to the gym and 2 swims this week. Must. Do. Better.
More anon, blossoms!
So
As my five faithful readers are aware, this is a sort-of endurance sport blog, not a weight-loss blog. However, I want to share one of those make-a-face moments - I got a new ID card yesterday for my new placement (that's I'm doing while I finish the Thesis That is Eating My Brain. The placement is at the local psychiatric ward which I think is apt). I put it on the doover with my work ID card. The two photos were taken about two years apart, and the second one is as flattering as the first (there are some gifted photographers in East Gippsland HR). But the new one still looks like the old one's fat ill much older sister. My sugar (fermented and otherwise)-based stress-management strategy is showing. I have no portrait in my attic. Must look into that.
In other news:
I go back to the physio today to see how close I am to going outside. Gosh I miss riding my bike. I'm a bit upset at the moment becuase my other foot - the one that went bung last year - is hurting again! I went to Melbourne last week and walked all day (YAY!) in flat boots with no arch supports (doh) so maybe that's it. I love my boots though. I am blessed with extremely shapely calves so finding boots that both do up and are appropriately fabulous is a challenge.
More anon, blossoms!
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
The Perils of LBTEPA
But I don't like static lunges with bands.
I got this picture from g00gle images. There aren't any pictures of what it's like when the band slips out from under your foot and smacks you in the eyes.
Ow.
The muscular tatooed bloke on the next machine swore and got the gym attendant to bring some ice. I didn't swear, nor did I cry (until I got home), because that is the LBTEPA Way. My eye is still a bit swollen this morning and I have a bit of a headache, but I am going back this afternoon to finish that damn workout.
I'm sure I ticked the "all exercises must be 100% nuffy-proof" box on my assessment. Le sigh......
More anon, Ironsides!
Sunday, August 19, 2012
Stardate Sunday
I must write swiftly. Since Starship LBTEPA crash-landed on the Plague Planet I have been the slave of the Plague Monsters and they may call for me at any time. Their demands are unceasing. The only blessing is that I have not been infected. This means that if I plan carefully I can sometimes experience a semblance of freedom, even if only for a short time. The blossoms here are lovely and give me such joy. Other slaves to the Plague Monsters tell me this planet is not so bad, and that it will be warmer soon. They have accepted their fate. I fear becoming like them. I know the monsters are coming to value my labour, even to almost feel affection for me. I have taken some advantage of this and made my way to the Temple of Sweat as often as I can, but I must be careful.
I will get stronger. I will escape.
They are calling me - I must go!
More anon, stargazers!
I will get stronger. I will escape.
They are calling me - I must go!
More anon, stargazers!
one of the first images sent from Mars
Thursday, August 09, 2012
as you do
In which LBTEPA realises that There Is Enough, and that Being Fabulous is always the best policy.
Dear Blog
Since I started going to deep water running I've been thinking oh I must join up at the gym, if I get a corporate membership it would cost less than one class and one swim a week... oh come now what a waste of money I have a perfectly good mat and weights and a set of core and strength exercises and a bike on rollers at home... oh but I am so borrrrrrred with that but if I was more disciplined I could do it ... but classes sound like fun........as you do.
The other day I was prodded in the back by the wise, serene and gentle sages of the LBTEPA Think Tank (Philosophical and Spiritual Division) who pointed out in no uncertain (yet serene and gentle) terms that I was not treating the universe as a place of abundance, where There Is Enough for things that matter, and also (equally calmly and wisely) that I was giving a low priority to my health and emotional wellbeing. Continuing ever so serenely on (I have to say they were starting to give me the pip by this stage), the sages pointed out that if I insisted on being so venal as to fixate on the finances, then I might like to channel my attention (see? Pack of bloody hippies. Sheesh.) toward the fact that a) kicking my twice-weekly takeaway coffee habit and bringing my lunch to work a couple of times would more than cover it and b) a year's gym membership is about the same as the medicare out-of-pocket for a couple of scans and specialists' visits, which I'm less likely to need over the next decade if I get properly fit again.
To sum up (and I thought this was rather brusque: I may write a stiff letter) they said
You like going to the gym
You can afford it
You need to get out more
Stop bleating and sign up
So I did!!
It's been great fun, although rather confronting to have to (ahem) confront the mumblemumblemumble kgs of extra lard I've been ignoring. I must be the only person to have gained weight doing Dry July (I DID IT! I DID IT! AND YOU CAN STILL DONATE TO THIS GREAT CAUSE!!!) Damn you, mirrored pilates studio! Oh well. It is how it is and I'm buggered if finally making eye contact with my spare tyre will stop me from pumping iron again. Sing it with me, ladies - body shame is temporary; fabulousness is forever!
I have to go to the physio now to check how The Ankle is going. This is scary* but not as bad as the dentist yesterday which I got through without crying or throwing up. Go me.
More anon, Olympic addicts!!
I LOVE the Olympics. I'd ALMOST get cable for the Olympics. Really.
*Ankle Update: Physio is happy. All is progressing as it should be. If I keep up the standing on one leg (which is Quite Tricky), all should be tickety-boo in due course!!Yay!!
Dear Blog
Since I started going to deep water running I've been thinking oh I must join up at the gym, if I get a corporate membership it would cost less than one class and one swim a week... oh come now what a waste of money I have a perfectly good mat and weights and a set of core and strength exercises and a bike on rollers at home... oh but I am so borrrrrrred with that but if I was more disciplined I could do it ... but classes sound like fun........as you do.
The other day I was prodded in the back by the wise, serene and gentle sages of the LBTEPA Think Tank (Philosophical and Spiritual Division) who pointed out in no uncertain (yet serene and gentle) terms that I was not treating the universe as a place of abundance, where There Is Enough for things that matter, and also (equally calmly and wisely) that I was giving a low priority to my health and emotional wellbeing. Continuing ever so serenely on (I have to say they were starting to give me the pip by this stage), the sages pointed out that if I insisted on being so venal as to fixate on the finances, then I might like to channel my attention (see? Pack of bloody hippies. Sheesh.) toward the fact that a) kicking my twice-weekly takeaway coffee habit and bringing my lunch to work a couple of times would more than cover it and b) a year's gym membership is about the same as the medicare out-of-pocket for a couple of scans and specialists' visits, which I'm less likely to need over the next decade if I get properly fit again.
To sum up (and I thought this was rather brusque: I may write a stiff letter) they said
You like going to the gym
You can afford it
You need to get out more
Stop bleating and sign up
So I did!!
It's been great fun, although rather confronting to have to (ahem) confront the mumblemumblemumble kgs of extra lard I've been ignoring. I must be the only person to have gained weight doing Dry July (I DID IT! I DID IT! AND YOU CAN STILL DONATE TO THIS GREAT CAUSE!!!) Damn you, mirrored pilates studio! Oh well. It is how it is and I'm buggered if finally making eye contact with my spare tyre will stop me from pumping iron again. Sing it with me, ladies - body shame is temporary; fabulousness is forever!
I have to go to the physio now to check how The Ankle is going. This is scary* but not as bad as the dentist yesterday which I got through without crying or throwing up. Go me.
More anon, Olympic addicts!!
I LOVE the Olympics. I'd ALMOST get cable for the Olympics. Really.
Did you see the finish of the women's triathlon (and by 'see' I mean scream yourself hoarse at the tv)?What's not to love?
*Ankle Update: Physio is happy. All is progressing as it should be. If I keep up the standing on one leg (which is Quite Tricky), all should be tickety-boo in due course!!Yay!!
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
MBPE
In what is possibly the Most Boring Post Ever - apart from all the woe is me I am so sad this is so hard ones - so ok possibly nowhere near the Most Boring Post Ever, but certainly not very interesting to anyone except me; but then it is my blog (but I digress) I have finally realised why I literally dread the thought of going swimming even though I always enjoy it when I get there.
You see, I used to be a very good swimmer. People think I am still (I had an irritiating argument with my dear Spousal Unit on that topic just the other day) but I know I'm not. I'm a good swimmer technically and also compared to non-swimmers, but I am so far from my notion of good swimming shape that I can only just see it on the horizon at noon if I squint . The problem is that I can see it, and that I know exactly how far it is from Here to There (a bloody long way, to use the technical term), and that distance is what I see when I think about going to the pool. Not the half an hour immediately ahead of me, but the weeks and weeks and weeks of feeling unco-ordinated and unfit and finding time around J's shifts and the lane-hogging local swim-squad to fit it in. Another job. Another failure to suck up. Another Bloody Slog to get back something I've lost because I was SO SLACK (aka I am a real person with a real life with priorities and frailties aka I Hate Myself Because I'm Not Superwoman). Le Sigh....
At this stage I don't know what I'll do with this new-found insight, but I always think change is easier when you actually know what you're dealing with.
More anon, philosophers!
You see, I used to be a very good swimmer. People think I am still (I had an irritiating argument with my dear Spousal Unit on that topic just the other day) but I know I'm not. I'm a good swimmer technically and also compared to non-swimmers, but I am so far from my notion of good swimming shape that I can only just see it on the horizon at noon if I squint . The problem is that I can see it, and that I know exactly how far it is from Here to There (a bloody long way, to use the technical term), and that distance is what I see when I think about going to the pool. Not the half an hour immediately ahead of me, but the weeks and weeks and weeks of feeling unco-ordinated and unfit and finding time around J's shifts and the lane-hogging local swim-squad to fit it in. Another job. Another failure to suck up. Another Bloody Slog to get back something I've lost because I was SO SLACK (aka I am a real person with a real life with priorities and frailties aka I Hate Myself Because I'm Not Superwoman). Le Sigh....
At this stage I don't know what I'll do with this new-found insight, but I always think change is easier when you actually know what you're dealing with.
Friday, July 27, 2012
Flick
I don't know what the physio said on Wednesday that has Changed Everything, but a switch has been flicked, from Injured and sad and bleaty and a burden to others to Getting Ready To Run Again.
Seven or eight more weeks of swimming and deep water running and bike-on-the-rollers and core work and weights and stretching and standing on one leg which is quite tricky and no heels?
Bring.
It.
On.
Except the heels. That's not good. But then I'm going to Melbourne next week, for a prostate cancer conference. Don't I have the best fun? There could be some fab flats there, if such a thing exists. In Melbourne. Not at the conference. Please try to focus.
More anon, dollfaces! And stand back.....
Bring.
It.
On.
Except the heels. That's not good. But then I'm going to Melbourne next week, for a prostate cancer conference. Don't I have the best fun? There could be some fab flats there, if such a thing exists. In Melbourne. Not at the conference. Please try to focus.
More anon, dollfaces! And stand back.....
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Question, questions
Where have I been? It's been nearly two weeks and really...I've been nowhere, done nothing. I feel as though I'm floating aimlessly, whilst simultaneously moving in ever-decreasing circles.
Will I ever be able to establish an exercise routine again? God I hope so. I feel sad and flabby and dispirited and a failure
How good is feeling strong? I remember it. I remember feeling motivated and organised and happy. I just can't quite work out how to get back there from here at the moment.
Isn't it funny how it's the idea of a daunting task that we fear rather than the task itself? Doubting your own ability to do something new is so tiring but it's hard to overcome until you actually get stuck into things... *slaps self on head for faffing on* that was a long-winded faux-philosphical way of saying, this sobriety thing isn't as hard as I expected. I've even managed an unaccompanied 300km round-trip with my mother-in-law without succumbing to the siren call of the port barrel. You can still sponsor me though. It hasn't been that easy. Just click here! You know you want to!
Will I ever get to go outside, by myself, for a pleasant sweat again?
Will my ankle ever get better?
Will I ever run again? I do so want to run again. I drive up the hill I used to steam up and I say to myself, I will do that again. I. WILL.
What will the physio say this afternoon?
Was buying this on ebay an over-reaction to a major blue with my dear Spousal Unit?
Will I ever be able to establish an exercise routine again? God I hope so. I feel sad and flabby and dispirited and a failure
How good is feeling strong? I remember it. I remember feeling motivated and organised and happy. I just can't quite work out how to get back there from here at the moment.
Isn't it funny how it's the idea of a daunting task that we fear rather than the task itself? Doubting your own ability to do something new is so tiring but it's hard to overcome until you actually get stuck into things... *slaps self on head for faffing on* that was a long-winded faux-philosphical way of saying, this sobriety thing isn't as hard as I expected. I've even managed an unaccompanied 300km round-trip with my mother-in-law without succumbing to the siren call of the port barrel. You can still sponsor me though. It hasn't been that easy. Just click here! You know you want to!
Will I ever get to go outside, by myself, for a pleasant sweat again?
Will my ankle ever get better?
Will I ever run again? I do so want to run again. I drive up the hill I used to steam up and I say to myself, I will do that again. I. WILL.
What will the physio say this afternoon?
Was buying this on ebay an over-reaction to a major blue with my dear Spousal Unit?
I think we all know the answer to that one...
More anon, sonic screwdrivers!
Thursday, July 12, 2012
it's not luck
I've finally got in to the new physio who is a) not leaving town, or so she says, b) kind and c) straightforward, and got the (ahem) good oil (as it were) on my poor sad ankle. It seems that becuase I couldn't get anyone to listen to me or help me with how to look after it while we found out what was wrong with it ( will resolve in 6-12 weeks, no appointment necessary anyone? BASTARDS), I now have ligament damage as a result of the untreated fracture not being immobilised.
Short version part 1: minimum 8 weeks before I can think about starting to run again.
Short version part 2: ....whimper.....sniffle....
Long version:
Step 1- strap it and stay off it like it was my job for 8 days then go back to the physio to see if that helps.If it doesn't,
Step 2 - 2 weeks in a boot to try and settle things down. If that doesn't work
Step 3 - don't think about step 3.
The physio remarked it's lucky you've got swimming and your bike on the roller and your strength and core work to do. I regret to say that my rather curt rejoinder was it's not luck, mate. It's work. The stuff I have put in place is there becuase no matter how dismal and despairing and frightened and abandoned I might feel, I will Do What I (physically and emotionally) Can. I Will Not Give Up (or not for any great length of time anyway).
I am sad. Sad, gutted, forlorn, despairing. These emotions will pass, I know, but until they do...
WHAT NOT TO SAY TO AN INJURED ATHLETE, especially one who has just had bad news
NB These are all actual things people have thought appropriate to say. I have added my (mostly) unspoken reactions for your reading pleasure. The LBTEPA Publishing Division would like to assure readers that no capital letters were harmed in the writing of ths post.)
I told you exercise was bad for you, and you can't even drown your sorrows LOL
IF I HADN'T KNOWN YOU FOR 25 YEARS YOU WOULD SO BE UNFRIENDED
You still get to go to Queensland, and you'll come back refreshed!
NOTE TO SELF: DON'T OPEN UP TO THIS PERSON AGAIN
There's always Pilates you know
That'll fill the void. not.
You just have to see this in a more positive way
NO. I. DON'T.
We all have our little setbacks in life
THANKS FOR TOTALLY FAILING TO COMPREHEND ANYTHING I WAS SAYING
There's always next year's marathon
NO SH*T SHERLOCK. I WAS TRAINING FOR THIS ONE
Well at least you can still swim
OF COURSE I CAN F***ING SWIM. IF I WANTED TO SWIM I WOULD SWIM
I don't know why you want to run anyway, I hate running
I HATE YOU
Do you think your body is trying to tell you something?
YES, TO PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE. I TRIPPED OVER A PIECE OF CONCRETE WHILE I WAS BUYING PRAWNS YOU MORON
Have you thought about what you'd do if you could never run again?
WHY ARE YOU SAYING THIS TO ME?
Look, I know that in the big scheme of things this is extremely minor. No-one has died, no-one is hungry or homeless or has cancer or lost her job. But it's my lost self and lost joy and my grief. If I can give you one thing to take away from this post, it would be this: don't tell other people how they should feel. You are more than welcome to have any sort of opinion about how valid their feelings are and what la-las they are with their lame first world problems (not that any of my five faithful readers would harbour such unkind notions) but keep them to yourself. Nothing says I'm not listening to you louder than you'll feel better when you (do what I say/agree with me). And nothing will make the person feel more lonely and as though no-one understands.
WHAT TO SAY TO AN INJURED ATHLETE
Oh no. That's awful.
How are you coping? (only say this if you actually want to know. The athlete will be so overwhelmed at your understanding and sensitivity s/he may actually tell you, and this could take quite some time).
But out of the darkest clouds comes the silverest lining, and you will be very proud indeed to note that I remained steaddfast to my vow of abstinence* despite what even the harshest critic would describe as rather provoking circumstances. On the way home from the physio I drove past a pub; my knuckles may have tightened slightly on the wheel, but I kept on going! Go me!
More anon, tiger-tamers!
*If you did feel inclined to sponsor me for Dry July, please click on the logo in my sidebar. It's for a great cause. Thanks!
Short version part 1: minimum 8 weeks before I can think about starting to run again.
Short version part 2: ....whimper.....sniffle....
Long version:
Step 1- strap it and stay off it like it was my job for 8 days then go back to the physio to see if that helps.If it doesn't,
Step 2 - 2 weeks in a boot to try and settle things down. If that doesn't work
Step 3 - don't think about step 3.
The physio remarked it's lucky you've got swimming and your bike on the roller and your strength and core work to do. I regret to say that my rather curt rejoinder was it's not luck, mate. It's work. The stuff I have put in place is there becuase no matter how dismal and despairing and frightened and abandoned I might feel, I will Do What I (physically and emotionally) Can. I Will Not Give Up (or not for any great length of time anyway).
I am sad. Sad, gutted, forlorn, despairing. These emotions will pass, I know, but until they do...
WHAT NOT TO SAY TO AN INJURED ATHLETE, especially one who has just had bad news
NB These are all actual things people have thought appropriate to say. I have added my (mostly) unspoken reactions for your reading pleasure. The LBTEPA Publishing Division would like to assure readers that no capital letters were harmed in the writing of ths post.)
I told you exercise was bad for you, and you can't even drown your sorrows LOL
IF I HADN'T KNOWN YOU FOR 25 YEARS YOU WOULD SO BE UNFRIENDED
You still get to go to Queensland, and you'll come back refreshed!
NOTE TO SELF: DON'T OPEN UP TO THIS PERSON AGAIN
There's always Pilates you know
That'll fill the void. not.
You just have to see this in a more positive way
NO. I. DON'T.
We all have our little setbacks in life
THANKS FOR TOTALLY FAILING TO COMPREHEND ANYTHING I WAS SAYING
There's always next year's marathon
NO SH*T SHERLOCK. I WAS TRAINING FOR THIS ONE
Well at least you can still swim
OF COURSE I CAN F***ING SWIM. IF I WANTED TO SWIM I WOULD SWIM
I don't know why you want to run anyway, I hate running
I HATE YOU
Do you think your body is trying to tell you something?
YES, TO PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE. I TRIPPED OVER A PIECE OF CONCRETE WHILE I WAS BUYING PRAWNS YOU MORON
Have you thought about what you'd do if you could never run again?
WHY ARE YOU SAYING THIS TO ME?
Look, I know that in the big scheme of things this is extremely minor. No-one has died, no-one is hungry or homeless or has cancer or lost her job. But it's my lost self and lost joy and my grief. If I can give you one thing to take away from this post, it would be this: don't tell other people how they should feel. You are more than welcome to have any sort of opinion about how valid their feelings are and what la-las they are with their lame first world problems (not that any of my five faithful readers would harbour such unkind notions) but keep them to yourself. Nothing says I'm not listening to you louder than you'll feel better when you (do what I say/agree with me). And nothing will make the person feel more lonely and as though no-one understands.
WHAT TO SAY TO AN INJURED ATHLETE
Oh no. That's awful.
How are you coping? (only say this if you actually want to know. The athlete will be so overwhelmed at your understanding and sensitivity s/he may actually tell you, and this could take quite some time).
But out of the darkest clouds comes the silverest lining, and you will be very proud indeed to note that I remained steaddfast to my vow of abstinence* despite what even the harshest critic would describe as rather provoking circumstances. On the way home from the physio I drove past a pub; my knuckles may have tightened slightly on the wheel, but I kept on going! Go me!
More anon, tiger-tamers!
*If you did feel inclined to sponsor me for Dry July, please click on the logo in my sidebar. It's for a great cause. Thanks!
Sunday, July 08, 2012
A new phase
You will no doubt be pleased to know that the LBTEPA family has returned intact from a week in the licentious and sinful northern climes.
I crewed for the mighty Emma at a tough day at the Gold Coast
marathon; nobbled by the heat, the marshalls directing her off road and a
#$*&ing #$*&!#$*& of a spectator tripping her
up, she retired hurt at 30km. DNF = Did Nothing Fatal but her heart was
broken after working so hard. It was stinking rotten foul horrible filthy luck and we were very sad. But as she has said, her last marathon will not be a DNF. She'll be back.
Oh, my five faithful readers, how I wanted to be out there! But it was fun to spectate, especially when I walked along the far leg of the course cheering on the back-o'-the-packers. Looking strong, looking brave, looking determined, I yelled to them. Just a bit more pain and then the bling is yours! And it was nice bling too. Emma and I sighed over it at the post-race rehydration session, in which I participated with gusto (that's what friends are for, no?). Proving how gorgeous our running mates are, one bloke offered Emma his medal when she told him her story. *wiping eyes* Proving also that we are All Grown Up now, Emma and I gave our unfinished mumble mumble not telling how many bottle of bubbles to a Patsy-esque (?)octogenarian called Loretta.
So in short, pretty much - apart from Emma's stinking luck, and BOOO to the race gods, I say. BOOO! - as I expected. Also as expected, most of the week was spent in a haze of sadness and worry about not being able to run and about the damage I might be doing to my ankle by walking as much as I did. Crappy holiday for the family becuase Mummy wants to spare her ankle versus pain and possible exacerbation of the injury? I didn't know what to do so I HTFU and carried on. It's bloody sore now. I'm sad and worried but I'm used to it. I'm seeing the physio on Tuesday. I hope she can help me. I don't want to rely on Dr Google but when your GP writes a note saying calcaneal fracture, will resolve in 6-12 weeks, no appointment necessary then waddyado? *headdesk*
So. We have floated down from our 9th floor absolute oceanfront apartment and back to Chateau LBTEPA for the next phase. Big things are afoot, my friends, oh yes they are! The astute among my five faithful readers will have noticed in my sidebar that I am participating in Dry July. Yes, I, LBTEPA, emotional drinker and extreme excuse-maker, am taking a month off the booze to raise money for cancer support services. Surprised? I certainly was when the thought came to me, very strongly and wouldn't go away. I suspect the LBTEPA Institute for Behavioural Modification has been sneaking about behind my back.
Now the deed is done. I have a donations page and I have told everyone I know. It's happening.
The LBTEPA Think-Tank has come up with a couple of goals, outlined below
Goal 1. (not negotiable) not touch a drop of alcohol from July 8th until August 8th.
Goal 2. (fingers crossed) raise $1500 through sheer irritating persistence.
If you would like to help me with number 2, please click the link in my sidebar! If not, any and all kind words, mockery, derision and/or cans of HTFU (with or without spoon) will be appreciated. I'll keep you posted!
More anon, abstainers!
Oh, my five faithful readers, how I wanted to be out there! But it was fun to spectate, especially when I walked along the far leg of the course cheering on the back-o'-the-packers. Looking strong, looking brave, looking determined, I yelled to them. Just a bit more pain and then the bling is yours! And it was nice bling too. Emma and I sighed over it at the post-race rehydration session, in which I participated with gusto (that's what friends are for, no?). Proving how gorgeous our running mates are, one bloke offered Emma his medal when she told him her story. *wiping eyes* Proving also that we are All Grown Up now, Emma and I gave our unfinished mumble mumble not telling how many bottle of bubbles to a Patsy-esque (?)octogenarian called Loretta.
Loretta's hair and makeup were just like this! Her outfit was red and purple and I want to be her when I grow up
Clan LBTEPA screamed on scary rides at Dreamworld despite it being clear that Disney World has ruined us for faintly dodgy amusement parks. We went out on a boat on a hugely windy day to see whales and proved by our failure to succumb to seasickness that the LBTEPA clan is made of sterner stuff than approximately 80% of our fellow passengers. So very glad I wasn't a crew member that day. But! we saw whales!! Breaching, right out of the water!!! Less than 100m away!!!! Highlight of my life, right there (as was returning to shore. There is only so much the LBTEPA vestibular system can take). We drove south to Byron Bay to see what all the fuss is about, and took Noddie to surfing lessons, at which she seemed both quite adept and to thoroughly enjoy, to the point where she would have gone every day, had she only been able to organise to become Boss of The World. While she was riding the waves I swam in them. It was cold in the water but it was warm and sunny so I bobbed and splashed and bodysurfed and tried not to be run over by the surfers, eaten by a shark (eek!!!) or towed out to sea by a rip. Too. Much. Fun.So in short, pretty much - apart from Emma's stinking luck, and BOOO to the race gods, I say. BOOO! - as I expected. Also as expected, most of the week was spent in a haze of sadness and worry about not being able to run and about the damage I might be doing to my ankle by walking as much as I did. Crappy holiday for the family becuase Mummy wants to spare her ankle versus pain and possible exacerbation of the injury? I didn't know what to do so I HTFU and carried on. It's bloody sore now. I'm sad and worried but I'm used to it. I'm seeing the physio on Tuesday. I hope she can help me. I don't want to rely on Dr Google but when your GP writes a note saying calcaneal fracture, will resolve in 6-12 weeks, no appointment necessary then waddyado? *headdesk*
So. We have floated down from our 9th floor absolute oceanfront apartment and back to Chateau LBTEPA for the next phase. Big things are afoot, my friends, oh yes they are! The astute among my five faithful readers will have noticed in my sidebar that I am participating in Dry July. Yes, I, LBTEPA, emotional drinker and extreme excuse-maker, am taking a month off the booze to raise money for cancer support services. Surprised? I certainly was when the thought came to me, very strongly and wouldn't go away. I suspect the LBTEPA Institute for Behavioural Modification has been sneaking about behind my back.
Now the deed is done. I have a donations page and I have told everyone I know. It's happening.
The LBTEPA Think-Tank has come up with a couple of goals, outlined below
Goal 1. (not negotiable) not touch a drop of alcohol from July 8th until August 8th.
Goal 2. (fingers crossed) raise $1500 through sheer irritating persistence.
If you would like to help me with number 2, please click the link in my sidebar! If not, any and all kind words, mockery, derision and/or cans of HTFU (with or without spoon) will be appreciated. I'll keep you posted!
More anon, abstainers!
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
I wrote this yesterday but I feel a little bit better now
I keep telling people that I'm so sad and I nearly always feel sad
and I've felt sad for ages and ages and it doesn't really go away. I don't want to go to Queensland because at least when I'm busy at
home I can avoid walking (avoiding walking is how you fix a chip
fracture). In Queensland all I want to do is walk and I won't be able
to, or else I will JFDI so we can have some fun at the water slides and the theme parks but
all the time I'll feel my ankle hurting and be worried that I'm making
it worse. I feel completely lost and overwhelmed with study and my
placements and housework and fitness and all that stuff. I
keep chipping away at it, not-enough tiny bit by not-enough tiny bit and
then sometimes I feel a little bit better, enough at least to not let
my sadness infect everyone around me. People keep saying to me there will be other races, you'll be stronger next year becuase
of this, you'll lose the weight you've gained, you'll have such a good
time on your holiday and you'll come back so relaxed...They're not listening. They're telling me that I don't, that I shouldn't feel the way I do. They think it's trivial. I've tried to tell some (appropriate) people how I feel but they haven't listened and I've wished I hadn't said anything. The Spousal Unit is the only one who hears me and he doesn't know what to say. There's nothing to say. Just hang in there. This will pass.
I'm feeling a little bit better today. Not so shaky and I don't want to cry all the time. I've caught up with all my placement logs and actually written some of the Thesis that Ate My Brain. The Mighty Mary Sunshine posted a link to some awesome shirts, which I will not be buying (the postage to Australia is a bit steep) but which are helping.Weights help. Cardio helps
I'm feeling a little bit better today. Not so shaky and I don't want to cry all the time. I've caught up with all my placement logs and actually written some of the Thesis that Ate My Brain. The Mighty Mary Sunshine posted a link to some awesome shirts, which I will not be buying (the postage to Australia is a bit steep) but which are helping.Weights help. Cardio helps
Sunday, June 17, 2012
A whole new world
Greetings from Planet I Have a Plan and I'm Not Afraid To Use It!
I feel obliged to confess that I am having a lot of trouble with step 3.
I do have A Chart, however; and will press on gamely, as is the LBTEPA Way.
More anon, glovelies!
I feel obliged to confess that I am having a lot of trouble with step 3.
I do have A Chart, however; and will press on gamely, as is the LBTEPA Way.
More anon, glovelies!
Friday, June 15, 2012
Now the Plan Is This
HTFU
Cheer the F*** Up
Work out what to do next
Do it.
Easy!
More anon, swizzlers!
Cheer the F*** Up
Work out what to do next
Do it.
Easy!
More anon, swizzlers!
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Well that's just super
The CT scan was all good, no structural abnormalities. I went to Melbourne on Wednesday for my MRI, in lieu of waiting for the good drs in the nearest regional centre to triage my referral and tell me when my appointment would be, probably not until August given that I don't have cancer or anything really terrible. I had a very rare nice day out all alone in the big smoke including some nice shoes but you knew that was going to happen ;)
The MRI found a small (.3cm) chip fracture of the anterior process of the calcaneus (kal-KAY-nee-us NOT kal-sin-ayus, for those inclined to linguistic accuracy). That's the front of the heel near where it joins to the ankle. All ligaments are 'within the normal range' phew phew phew phew. The Dr's advice (via the practice secretary) is that it will resolve in 6-12 weeks (!!!??!?!) and that I don't need to talk to him about it. HMMMMMMMM
Well.
I will certainly be talking to the council about reimbursing my out-of-pocket medical fees. Also my race entries - Traralgon, Gold Coast and Sandringham are GONE. Bugger bugger bugger bugger bugger. If I squeak it a little bit I might be able to start running again in mid-August but that's nowhere near long enough to prepare for Melbourne *sad face* swear words swear words swear words crying swear words. Bugger bugger bugger bugger bugger.
If I categorised my posts as some bloggers do, bless their organised little cotton socks, this would be under 'blunk drogging' as me and the chardy have been cheering each other up pretty steadily this pm no seriously my typing goes to #$%& when I've had a few, it's hilarious but I fix it up to spare my own sadly vain blushes. One dy I won't just to give you giggle.
I don't want tomorrow to come. I will be sober. and it will be time to HTFU, suck It Up, reframe, make Plans, Be Plucky and Set A Good Example. Being F***ing SAD and P*SSED OFF will have to be put aside. Just now I'm letting them happen.
Until tomorrow, my ducklings! Then there will be Plans aplenty, oh yes there will. But not now
The MRI found a small (.3cm) chip fracture of the anterior process of the calcaneus (kal-KAY-nee-us NOT kal-sin-ayus, for those inclined to linguistic accuracy). That's the front of the heel near where it joins to the ankle. All ligaments are 'within the normal range' phew phew phew phew. The Dr's advice (via the practice secretary) is that it will resolve in 6-12 weeks (!!!??!?!) and that I don't need to talk to him about it. HMMMMMMMM
Well.
I will certainly be talking to the council about reimbursing my out-of-pocket medical fees. Also my race entries - Traralgon, Gold Coast and Sandringham are GONE. Bugger bugger bugger bugger bugger. If I squeak it a little bit I might be able to start running again in mid-August but that's nowhere near long enough to prepare for Melbourne *sad face* swear words swear words swear words crying swear words. Bugger bugger bugger bugger bugger.
If I categorised my posts as some bloggers do, bless their organised little cotton socks, this would be under 'blunk drogging' as me and the chardy have been cheering each other up pretty steadily this pm no seriously my typing goes to #$%& when I've had a few, it's hilarious but I fix it up to spare my own sadly vain blushes. One dy I won't just to give you giggle.
I don't want tomorrow to come. I will be sober. and it will be time to HTFU, suck It Up, reframe, make Plans, Be Plucky and Set A Good Example. Being F***ing SAD and P*SSED OFF will have to be put aside. Just now I'm letting them happen.
Until tomorrow, my ducklings! Then there will be Plans aplenty, oh yes there will. But not now
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