Saturday, February 23, 2013

Traps for young players

In which LBTEPA faffs on about triathlon and blogging.
First, some race tips, numbered for your convenience, and traps for young players.

1. A bit of this before a race never goes astray
2. It's all good fun until you smack yourself in the face with your handlebars getting your bike out of the car. By mid-week it was a full-on shiner. Tres embarrassing.

3. Pretending it's not happening and that you've just met for a coffee is a good strategy
until the zombies arrive  
(these are my  irritatingly skinnyfast friends. They swam in those shirts (!!), re-applied their gore in T1 and deservedly won the costume prize)
Trap for young players #1: PUT YOUR CHIP ON. DO NOT LEAVE IT IN YOUR BAG.
Trap for young players #2: should you happen to have failed to achieve Tfyp#1, DO NOT DROP THE F- BOMB IN A LOUD VOICE IN A PUBLIC PLACE. That IS. NOT. CLASSY. Trap for young players #3: should you happen to have failed to achieve both Tsfyp #1 and #2, you must Keep. Going. Get out there and ride your bloody heart out and hope with all that's left of it that by some miracle it will all have been sorted out by the time you get back for the run.
Best thing about small country triathlons: the marshall at the end of the bike leg (T2 to us uber-triathletes) calling LBTEPA, LBTEPA (I know him from the tri club), here's your chip!! and handing it to me so my teammates would have their splits and a total race time since I started in the first wave.
4. Always race in sunglasses.They make you look cool as you EMBRACE THE SUCK.
5. Put your fast bloke last. Fast blokes make you all look good and it's nice to watch them run.


Trap for young players #4: decide that since you have staggered through four weeks' preparation for an extremely short triathlon you can now train as much as you want, including two two runs, two rides and two murderous sessions with the tri club swim squad, most of whom are five weeks out from Ironman Melbourne and who think 16x50 fasterfasterfaster is something you do more than once in a session *fans self*. It's either flattering that the coach thinks I'm up for what he's throwing at me or he is trying to kill me. It's hard to hold back in the pool becuase I'M GOOD. I'm strong and I know what I'm doing and  even though I'm old(er)+heavy+very unfit I can pretty much keep up with the other bloke in my lane; if he's over 30 I'll go he for tiggy. STEP AWAY FROM THE EGO, LBTEPA, JUST STEP. AWAY I hear you say, and how right you are. DAIS, NAID, my friends: old(er)+heavy+ very unfit+over-ambitious = a niggly right foot (not the bastard one, the other bastard one) and a sore shoulder which I will have to confess to murderous coach Rob becuase the last thing I need is another chronic injury.

I have gone off uber-fitness blogs a bit in the last year, for fairly obvious wallowinginselfpity reasons but today I came across one that really struck a chord. Why do I blog? Clarity is good. I like to write. I like to have somewhere to bleat (see above). I want to connect with people who think it's normal and fun and exciting to be fit and strong and do hard scary things and have adventures, and who will give me a HTFU when I deserve it as well as a you can do it and a well done. I'd be pleased if something I wrote inspired someone to wade through the I can'ts and have a crack at something scary or new. (Note to self: comment more. Install a blogroll).
Why do you blog?
More anon, zombie-hunters!

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